I had my reasons for making that play but they were not very good. Only good think is that I can't imagine how I'd ever get away post flop anyway so whatever.
I also started up a little pokerblog to have somewhere to dump some slightly more serious post then the drunk ramblings I post here from time to time. My roomie decided that he'd write a A4 every day about some topic that he finds amusing to be a better writer and I guess I'll do something like that, except less frequent. Here it is:
I dunno, weird month. Had a very bad day yesterday but overall I've made a decent amount of money. Ended up winning probably ~15-16k€, 4, from cash games, 7.5 from various bonuses and the rest from tournaments. That's the third winning month in a row, and the first decent month in a while for me. Ran fairly decent overall and some of the sessions I played really well. Some I played really bad.
Happy with my mtt-results and play and I'm happy with how much I've learned, I've really evolved my game a fair bit opening up a little in some spots, tightening up a bit in others and overall started doing a lot more hand reading and hero-stuff. Got a decent amount of hands in too, so that's pretty good.
I know most of my leaks, now I hope I'll fix them.
Edit: The Strikeforce event made me cry. Abomination!
So tonight I played some. I was slightly tired and got annoyed on a bunch of crap. I played like shit. Then I took a break and started again. Lost a bunch of bi's 3-tabling some guy HU. I think he probably owned me. Head not screwed on right. Then I took a walk and thought about some crap and felt that life sucked and got the tilt out of me, got back, sat down, played a bit and ended up 2 tabling some guy on 5/10, which I havn't played in like 3 months. Won like 8 or 9 flips I think and now I went from "will probably fail to win 10k this month too *sigh*" to "well it looks fairly solid".
”I'm putting tinfoil up on the windows
Lying down in the dark to dream
I don't want to see their faces
I don't want to hear them scream”
- Warren Zevon, Splendid Isolation
Yesterday I played some poker. I can't remember how I did, probably up a little bit. I'm up a little bit most days now. A week or two ago I was down most of the time. Around 6 in the morning I couldn't sleep, so I decided to go for a walk. I hadn't slept since I don't know how long but somehow the fresh air made me feel good and the early morning sunshine refreshed me. I started running. I haven't been out running for a year, and it wasn't very far, but it just felt so good. And I figured, maybe I'm back?
Last year I made a shitton of money, but I did not work enough on my game and to be honest I think I just got used to running like good and taking everybody's money in coin flips. I must have gotten senile or something, and I think I just got into bad habits of not thinking. I should have played more and studied the game more and overall done better, but I did not.
“If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I'd take back those words that have hurt you
And you'd stay
If I could reach the stars
I'd give them all to you
Then you'd love me, love me
Like you used to do
If I could turn back”
- Cher, If I Could Turn Back Time
And did I tell you guys, I was always jealous when I saw how some of you grew up and bought houses, moved in with your girlfriends and got some kids. So I found myself a little girl last winter, whom I got fairly drunk on really nice red wine and when we woke up she still wanted to hang out with me. We're now engaged and just as soon as we're done with school we'll buy a house and live happily ever after.
“And I will always love you
You will always be mine
Forever and always
Till the end of time”
- June Cash Carter, Song to John
Anyway, thought you guys should know. Some of you might've found one with bigger boobs, and some might found someone with less of a temper, but I happen to love my girl and that what matters. Except for possibly the temper I would not have her any other way. White girl with an ass, BOOM!
Also, she's smart as hell so that's good.
Back to poker. I've always been a big supporter or the denial and error strategy proposed by Ricky in Trailer Park boys. Can't do it? Fuck that! Sure I can!
“If I should fall from grace with God
Where no doctor can relieve me
If I'm buried 'neath the sod
But the angels won't receive me
Let me go, boys
Let me go, boys
Let me go down in the mud
Where the rivers all run dry “
- The Pogues – If I should fall from Grace with God.
I don't fucking lose. It's that simple. It's my game. Remember when Avon gets out of jail? He could have taken the easy route and gone with what Stringer did and just laid back and be just fine. But nah, outnumbered, outgunned and out-ganstered (let's face it, Marlo and Omare are two of the coolest characters in any TV-show ever) he still decides to bring the noise. I'm not made for a desk job.
“Every cheap hood strikes a bargain with the
world
And ends up making payments on a sofa or a girl”
- The Clash, Death or Glory
So? What have I've done except hanging out with this girl for all this time? Well for once I'm almost done with my Law Degree. I'm writing my thesis on how Game Theory was used and could have been used to “solve” the negotiations during the Cuban Missile Crisis. I'm also doing a little bit of work for the Swedish Libertarian Party and I've become increasingly involved in the stock market and this time around I'm actually making a little bit of money. I'm invested heavily in precious metal junior miners and some oil companies.
“I'm gonna take a trip around the world
I'm gonna kiss all the pretty girls
I'll do everything silver and gold
And I got to hurry up before I grow too old“
Joe Strummer, Silver and Gold (Before I Grow to Old)
It's my opinion that the European Union, the Obama administration (which is only slightly worse then most before), Ben Bernanke and the FED and various other central banks is destroying the value of money and assuming that they'll continue to go unchecked for a couple of more years they'll destroy the middle class. If you think that you'll get rich by working hard at your desk I'm afraid that you're to late. That ship has sailed. So I'll try it my way instead. Hard work is all fine and dandy, but it will no longer be enough.
“Sida vid sida, tillsammans hjälps dom åt
staten och kapitalet, dom sitter i samma båt
fast det är inte dom som ror, ror så svetten lackar
och piskan som kittlar, kittlar inte heller
deras feta nackar”
Ebba Grön, Staten och Kapitalet
Well fuck it, we never did set out to be normal. We're geeks and freaks, in some cases a bit sexed up by money and self-esteem but at what other place can you find such a wide range of creativity? A bunch of people have started up businesses, a fair few are millionaires (I plan to join those ranks within a couple of years) and I'm sure most of us will do fine anyway. One or two of us might actually do something really great and make a difference.
“Hero--the voice of reason
Against the howling mob
Hero--the pride of purpose
In the unrewarding job
Hero--not the champion player
Who plays the perfect game
Not the glamor boy
Who loves to sell his name
Everybody's buying
Nobody's hero“
Rush, Nobody's Hero
Anyway. I don't know if I'll make it back to high stakes. I don't know if I'll be a poker player forever. I don't know shit really. Not really sure if I'll post here or not. Not much omaha discussion here anyway. So last parting words for this time:
Check out Huskystarcrafts youtube channal for some new games with Jinro aka LP's own FrozenArbiter. The guy is a serious SC2 beast.
I've played poker for four and a half year now. Mostly I've run good, and overall I've been lucky. I've taken a fair few shots at high stakes, I've made a lot of money and I'm really happy with how it all turned out. I've had good times, bad times and a lot of fun. I've had my downswings, my upswings and some tournament scores. I've had 3 +100k€ years in a row now, but the last 3 months I'm breakeven, or down a few K. Yea I've run like shit, and I've played pretty bad at times, but overall I feel that I haven't worked hard enough. I've spent time doing other shit that I've found more rewarding, and as a result my results have suffered. Everything we do have consequences, and I don't really regret anything. I could've done some shit different, but overall I'm ok with my choises and I'd probably do most of them again if I could.
I could say that I'll just work harder, that I'll get back as I always have, and truth be told I probably will, but until school is over for this semester I will take a step back. I don't know exactly how, and what guidelines I'll set for myself, but I'll figure that out. I'll cut back on tables, play lower, only when I feel like it and overall lower my goals considerably. I think the pressure I've put on myself, and the high standards I've had hurt me a bit.
From now on I'll play poker because it's fun. I'll probably never be able to live of it anyway and it's time I got my act together and focused on other things in my life. It's obviously good to have it as a side gig, but instead of aiming for 100k+ I'll be happy if I make a couple of K each month. Less variance, less stress, and more fun. That will be the way to go for me for a while.
So last month was fail as far as profits, number of hands, results in school and living healthy goes. Also a slight stock market fail. I'd say it was mostly my own fault but I can blame the lack of volume a little bit on having a ton of crap to do and the lack of profits on running 12k€ under EV. Also tended to be sick a lot, had a cold most of the month and managed to catch some weird ass eye infection which kept me from BJJ a while. And I helped my GF move, how such a small girl can have so much heavy shit is beyond me, and ad to that the she might've have had the most useless room mate in the history of the world and there was a lot of work to be done.
Fuck it, April's here and I plan to grind like a mad man. I've gotten 7k hands in today. Just a tiny profit. but I'm ok with that when I'm 10bi under ev. Trying to reach maybe 15k hands for the weekend, just to get the month started off good.
Ohh, and I stopped drinking (at least while in Sweden).
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