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Some SC2 games

fira, Feb 24 2010

They're not spectacular or anything but I thought a first person view might be more entertaining than just replays, for those who don't have a key. I'll likely be posting more in the future so just go to my channel if you want to check for updates.

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5v5 HoN for PS$

fira, Feb 05 2010

5v5 Heroes of Newerth

Challenging anyone, max bet of $30 (since my teammates are microstakes players)

Post here, PM me, or msg Abs0lutely on HoN

Mostly for fun and practice, but money always makes things more interesting.

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December sumup

fira, Dec 31 2009

Is anyone's expected line EVER below their actual?

It's like mine is always destined to soar way above my actual, in fact I've never seen it noticeably under my actual... ever.

17 bi under expectation for cember. At least I have a pretty red line.

All hands are HU.

Happy new years.

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Poker

fira, Dec 28 2009

After losing 6k today, I'm back to break-even for December.

Except I feel like shit.

Playing this game makes me unhappy, yet I continue to play.

Why? Money? Am I still under the illusion that I can get set for life by playing this game? Thanks to the growth of online poker and the rapidly spreading information available to almost anyone in the world, poker is slowly becoming a crapshoot. Everyone is quickly adjusting, evolving, and expending hours and hours just working on their game, thinking that this game is the answer for their financial problems, dreaming that one day they might make enough to support the rest of their lives. It might happen, but the chance of that happening is as slim as winning the lottery.

Poker has really changed over the last few years. Prior to the internet poker explosion, a major portion of the poker "community" were the rich, bored, thrillseekers with some gamble. A lot of people didn't actually play "winning poker," whether its because they lacked access to information, or that they were rich and didn't give a shit, or they didn't have the time or patience to learn, or just plain stupid. However now, thanks to the evolution of the internet and information explosion, people from all over suddenly come to poker not to play as a game, but as a job. They hear stories about great success and an easy life. "Sit there, click a few buttons, make money." What a dream job. Does it last though?

When there are this many players playing and competing, all with access to the same vast amounts of information, all with a fiery dedication and tons of time to kill, and most importantly all with the dream of winning it all, poker approaches its nash equilibrium where the game is practically solved and the only one who can actually profit is the casino itself. It has not reached this point yet, but seeing how the game has changed over time surely marks its destiny. It's quickly becoming less of an intuition and psychology game, and more of a mathematical battle. Eventually I see poker turning into the AKQ game, with a solution set for optimal play. A solution to poker? Yes, it's very obvious one exists. In fact, working poker bots to play every hand ideally may already exist. We'll never know if they do until the game is solved, because anyone smart enough to make one would also be smart enough to keep it a secret.

I can blame my luck on setups, tilt, bad play, bad luck, anything I want, but it doesn't change the fact that I feel terrible after losing. Sometimes I have trouble sleeping because I ran bad. I can't stop thinking about what could have been if chance was on my side. Obsessing about the past is entirely pointless, but being human, it's simply inevitable for me. Is the money really worth all this trouble? I'm wasting so much time sitting at the computer playing poker, and 2-3 days per week I get to feel like shit at night because I ran bad. Furthermore, poker thoughts constantly plague my mind to the point where I'm sick of constantly thinking about it. Is this all worth it just for money? I'm missing out on the rest of the world. I'm missing out on a real career, a real chance to work at something more meaningful than paper that society pretends has value.

So what will I do? I'm not sure. I'll probably continue to play HU for a while longer until I've either realized the money is or isn't worth all this struggle. Until then, I'll keep dealing with these depressing nights.

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Xmas

fira, Dec 25 2009

merry xmas lp

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Looking for programmer

fira, Dec 13 2009

Doesn't matter what language, as long as it works in the way I want to.

I don't think the program is very complex, not exactly sure how much work it would be, but I'd program it myself if I was slightly better at it.

Anyways I'll pay you $150 on PS if you can make it.

PM me or AIM me at Firah88 for details.

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Comments (4)

fira, Dec 07 2009

Related to my last blog entry

+ Show Spoiler +

+ Show Spoiler +

All within 200 hands, and then he sits out

I think I'm gonna quit HU. I don't see how it can be consistently profitable.

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HU is fucking sick

fira, Dec 06 2009

Soooooo my hot HU streak of +17k comes to a stumbling halt as I lose 20 bi today at 5/10 hu.

15k of it was vs some dude who had the nuts literally every single hand. The other 5k was from a retard who got insanely lucky. I swear, I was fucking doomswitched. Here are "some" hands.

+ Show Spoiler +

+ Show Spoiler +

There are TONS more and EVERY hand he had the nuts/near nuts. I'm completely boggled as to how this is statistically possible. I think I won like one or two allins total. He wasn't even good, he pretty much only 3bet QQ+ and AK (literally nothing else) and just flats with any 2 suited cards, then he'd randomly flop a flush draw and call down all my cbets then hit a flush. I really never knew HU could be this sick. He's gotta be hacking...

Guess I'll move back down to 600nl hu. Sigh! Fk this game.

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Looking for...

fira, Dec 04 2009

A program or something that lets me view my housemate's monitor from my monitor. He's learning poker and I figure it's easier to sweat him on my computer. I know these programs exist but I dunno which are free and easy to use.

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Scary philosophical experience

fira, Nov 23 2009

It all started about two months ago. I was alone at my house in San Diego. It was 2 AM, but I wasn't tired or sleepy. So I decided to watch a movie, and what better way to enhance movie watching than a vaporizer and weed? I took a few hits, then took a few more. Very soon I was completely baked and dousing myself in a world of interesting and trippy thoughts. It was very enjoyable. And then, suddenly, out of nowhere, it hit me. By the way, I'd just like to add that this rather long blog post won't be poker related.

The image of a circle appeared in front of me. It was the scariest thing I had ever seen in my life. It was immediately followed by a feeling of certain understanding of the workings of the universe. It was disgusting. Within the circle I saw the true meaning of time, eternity, and the horrifying, cyclical nature of the universe. My jaw dropped, my eyes were filled with terror, and I was completely motionless. I contemplated suicide.

A period of time passes (I'm not exactly sure how long, I had lost track of time) and I had calmed down slightly, but still had the horrifying ideas (which I will go into in a bit) in my head. I looked back at the movie that was playing, which by the way was Knocked Up, a pretty good comedy that I later enjoyed without such distractions. I simply could not appreciate the film whatsoever; every time I focused on the movie, I would notice how fake everything is, and that societal values are illusions constructed from evolution. I tried to force myself to sleep, in desperate hopes that I would forget everything. I did...

...Until 2 weeks ago. Myself and a friend of mine decided to take half a dose of LSD one evening. Neither of us hallucinated or anything, but probably because we didn't take a full dose and LSD requires a certain thresh hold to actually work. Anyhow, it was a fun experience that lasted until ~3 AM. He went to bed, and I decided to take out my vape and smoke some more. I went back into my room and took out my laptop, in preparation to read about Plato (I had been very interested in Greek philosophy). After maybe 5 minutes or so, the haunted thoughts I had experienced 2 months ago mysteriously returned to me. It was traumatizing.

I imagined that the human race, like all previous organisms, would destroy itself eventually. Culture constantly pressures competition, and the desires for greed and uniqueness would eventually cause world wide depression, and then insanity. The worst part of it all is, such a fate would recur over and over, from an eternity, to an eternity. I understood why I was so terrified of the circle. It represented the universe, and the idea of eternal recurrence. If you are not familiar with eternal recurrence, it is the idea that the universe is stuck in an endless loop, has always been, and will always be. It was originally popularized by Friedrich Nietzsche.

Basically, eternal recurrence logically makes sense, because, given a finite amount of constantly rearranging matter, and an endless amount of time, the matter would eventually be arranged in every possible configuration, an infinite number of times. Imagine an infinite number of hands of poker played. Every single possible hand and outcome would be played out an infinite number of times. Eternal recurrence implies that humans have existed countless times before in the past, and will exist countless times again in the future, once it inevitably destroys itself.

Imagine a sphere, and a line that travels around the sphere randomly, and infinitely. Would it not cross every path, make every turn, and arrive at every point an infinite number of times?

As I mentioned earlier, Friedrich Nietzsche was the original "father" of this theory. He wrote several books on eternal recurrence, but simply reading a lengthened summary of Thus Spoke Zarathustra made me rather nervous. I won't go into detail but basically, Nietzsche believes that humanity is only a step in a pre-designed evolutionary chain. He thinks that once humans truly grasp the undeniable concept of eternal return, the vast majority of them will shrivel away in depression and insanity. True understanding of eternal return will become the evolutionary factor deciding the next step of where life goes. Nietzsche calls the next step the Overman, which is an advanced version of the modern man that is able to not only accept, but embrace the idea of eternal return, and embrace the fact that every hour, every minute, every second, every one-millionth of a second, in the long run, will last an eternity. Every possible outcome of a person's life, of humanity, and of the universe will last an eternity.

The following is a famous quote from Nietzsche describing his first encounter with the idea of eternal recurrence:

"What if a demon were to creep after you one night, in your loneliest loneliness, and say, 'This life which you live must be lived by you once again and innumerable times more; and every pain and joy and thought and sigh must come again to you, all in the same sequence. The eternal hourglass will again and again be turned and you with it, dust of the dust!' Would you throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse that demon? Or would you answer, 'Never have I heard anything more divine'?"

Reading this was a bit scary for me, because it seemed to happen in the same way for me. I was alone, and the visions that came to me seemed external; I had never really studied philosophy or the idea of eternal return. Nietzsche said to truly grasp eternal return would, to any human being, "horrifying and paralzying" and says that "its burden is the heaviest weight imaginable." I seemed to have felt the exact same way.

Anyways, back to my earlier story. After witnessing these ideas in my head, I began repeating to myself the phrase "Constantly forced to destroy themselves." By themselves, I meant life in every form--cells which gave rise to animals, which gave rise to humans, which will give rise to the Overman. Each one is destined to meet its maker and perish, and the cycle will repeat endlessly. I probably repeated this phrase over and over for an hour or so. By now it was probably 6 or 7 AM, and I still couldn't get myself to sleep. I tried watching TV shows to take my mind off of it, but to no avail. My brain was so traumatized by what it had seen, it simply refused to leave it alone. For a while, I thought maybe I would be stuck in that miserable state forever.

My insomnia lasted till the next day. I was so depressed the next day, I didn't talk to anyone. I just sat in my room contemplating eternity and the eternal apocalypse. My roommates tried to cheer me up with gaming, but I just didn't have the stomach for it. I also didn't have the stomach for food. I ended up not eating for over 30, and not sleeping for over 50 hours.

I'm currently still recovering from that trauma, although each day it seems to get better. I've been able to reconnect with friends and family, but I still feel a looming uncertainty in my head at all times, haunting me.

I wish it to expire soon.

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