i started this month w/ 6 tabling NL200 ( 6max) and then came down to NL100 ( 9 tabing 6max ) where last time i visited 2 years ago, i guess i cant win anywhere...
i have to start playing more cause omg, 4 months in a row of losing...
i cash out every month ~1,7k$, so i'm starting to feel a 'little' uncomfortable w/ this, i'm not sure what can help me, cause it's like when i'm playing alone w/ noone watching sometimes i'm not fully concentrated and i cant lay down a hand, and when i'm posting in hand forums it's obv. for me i should fold, and it's not about tilt, i make those kind of plays out of the blue. i had also some beats this month, but it's normal, i still can make much better.
and of course it's all my fault, which makes me feel 'great', cause i shouldn't go to NL400 till i have good winrate at N200, i thought i have BR for it -> i can go, and here i am now... playing NL100
looks like i'm a long term loser, i'm the one you ppl make money on, funny thing is i make a living playing poker, and if not some winnings in MTTs, rakeback, bonuses on many sites i'd have much less. i chose to play poker professionally 1,5 year ago, those are my hands from last ~8 months. i even played w/ coach, played w/ friends watching and it looks like im playing better when someones watching me, asking questions why i play like this or i just tell what im thinking while playing. it looks like im not thinking while playing, not putting ppl on ranges of hands, not thinking about what can he have, what kind of hand he plays this or that way. it's time for a change or i should go back to uni, cause it looks im wasting my time. it was always easy to play and win and i spent so small amount of time learning, i know i have money for bills and living and it's not motivating me to do something w/ my game, i like playing and winning but it looks like i just play my cards like some fish, what i learned it was some from CR, some from friends, but when i play i don't make an effort to think hard and use my intelligence to win as much as possible.
it's time for a change, or i'll end up working in mcdonalds some day ...
Regular's paradise - me feat. tomsOn
instrumental version:
As I look through the cashier of the pokerroom that i hate
I take a look at my balance and realize there's nothing left
Cause I've been betting and bluffing so long that
Even my table mates think that my mind is gone
But I ain't never pushed a man that didn't deserve it
He be berated like a fish, you know that's not unheard of
You better watch who you shoving, and where you playin'
Or you and your homies might be standing in bank queue
I really hate to tilt, but I gotta loc
As they croak I see myself in the rockets smoke, fool
I'm the kinda playa that micro players wanna be like
On my knees in the night
Sayin' prayers in the poker table light
been spending most our lives
Living in a Regulars's Paradise
been spending most our lives
Living in a Regulars's Paradise
keep spending most our lives
Living in a Regulars's Paradise
keep spending most our lives
Living in a Regulars's Paradise
Forgot the situation, they got me facin
I can't live a normal life, I was raised by the casinos
So I gotta be down with the hood team
Too much HSP watchin' got me chasin dreams
I'm a uneducated fool, with money on my mind
Got my ten in my hand and a gleam in my eye
I'm a mindless playa, i've got set hitting hunger
And my all-in button is on, so don't arouse my anger, fool
Losing all-in ain't nothing but a heart beat away
Do I win here or lose ah, what can I say?
I won this one will i win the next though?
The way things are goin I don't know
been spending most our lives
Living in a Regulars's Paradise
been spending most our lives
Living in a Regulars's Paradise
keep spending most our lives
Living in a Regulars's Paradise
keep spending most our lives
Living in a Regulars's Paradise
edit: this is 6max
edit2: sorry, i didn't use all hands from this month, now fixed
1. i lack of discipline to fold when i'm suposed to
2. i think i'm not 100% comfortable to play 2/4 cause i think about amounts as $, not as BI
3. i don't play enough hands per month, i think i'll start writting how many hours i spend every day to make myself play more
4. i have to start putting everyone on range of hands all the time, start thinkig all the time intentionally, like talking to myself in my head, so that i will always think what opponent has, what he plays like this, what can he have, what he represent, how many times am i good here etc....
5. point 4. x2
6. point 4. x3
7. as i look at VPIP i think im too tight, but i always start from high VPIP ( like 20+ ) and then after i play some hours it stars to lower, i think i can start to be bored or i start to read www and im not fully concentrated and i start fold pf when i'd normally raise, i have to work on that
bad beats in the beginning of the month caused some bad plays and i wasn't focused enough on my game ... didn't fold when i was supposed to, and was too aggressive when i should shut the fuck up. end of this great story
i was up ~2-3BI while playing this hands today ( they weren't in one moment played), i wasn't tilting, i was playing 4 tables and everything except music was off... and i still can fuck up like i started playing poker yesterday... i'm able to play decent poker wtf is wrong with me?
NL200 was mix of beats ( beginning of the month )and some bad play at the end of the month when i wasn't so concentrated as i should be and i was playing cause i just wanted for a change to play on PS
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