the elusive witty comeback

OUTPLAYED

written letter to senior management explaining that you will no longer shop at that store as long as he is employed by them

to be honest over half hour later now im still not sure what an appropriate comeback would have been.. -.-

the comeback will usually have nothing to do with it

first, decide if this guy is cool or if hes a faggot, because that will determine the angle you take of making a friendly comeback or going for mean/embarassing.

Since he looked like a twilight character, im guessing its the latter (its usually the latter). So first off you can just say "what?" like you didnt hear him, but in a fairly authoritative tone, that will force him to repeat his comment, which will lose all spontaneity and humor that it had. If you wanna take it a step further, say "I dont understand what youre talking about"

Ignoring him after he repeats it locks it in your favor.

Or you can turn to the chick and say "Can u understand him?"
Or you could say "why dont you just ring up my stuff shop-boy"

"your mom"

thats the universal comeback to all witty comments

i dont really understand what he is getting at with his line? makes no sense to me

thanks for the tips byrnesam. i dunno if i would describe him as being cool or a faggot, probably neither? he was a little weird but i think he was just bored mostly, i mean i don't think he was trying to be a douche or anything, but i almost never really think of people i see irl as douches so maybe i give them too much benefit of the doubt lol.

julep - i don't think there's anything to get which is why it's kind of annoying from my perspective, it's just a casual "conversation-starter" without having any real intent or direction and it sort of puts pressure on me to say something substantive or relevant, and im all like hrrnnnnggg

My initial reaction would be, try to look sad and slowly take my hand up on the belt and go "no..." And then pretend I'm all bummed out and now I have to go put it back.

Or if the girl next to you was semi fun or good looking or cool you could just tilt your head towards her and say in a low voice "she said I could".

(Might bring her in to the conversation).

Or you could like go "I don't need premission to buy anything, cuz I'm a bwauss" (And right after you can do a little flex!!)

On January 08 2012 03:16 julep wrote: i dont really understand what he is getting at with his line? makes no sense to me

When you take a step back and think a lot simpler, then you will realize this guy is fucking with bigredhoss b/c he isn't intimidated by him. Bigred, when someone does that to you it becomes imperative that you establish the ground right there. Think about it, if he was trying to be your friend do you really think he'd open up with that? Shit dude, I wanna fight this guy now. You know what I'd say? I'd say "Man I'm stooping pretty low without a comeback, but your ass has to scan all this shit im buying nigga. Go ahead, spit on my protein bar and I'll smash your head into the cashier mother fucker".

Or you could quickly, all dexteriously grab one of the bars, pretending that's what he ment and do a "flick" like only cock your wrist, and then throw it off the belt without paying attention to where it might land on the floor. (has to happen really fast, like that specific bar wasn't allowed on the belt, and since you got it off sick fast, now it'z cool and you can buy the rest).

After it's away from the belt you can do a little satisfied "nod", mostly to yourself, like you're thinking "crisis avoided".

A few lines I've used at the grocery store:

Scenario: I got surprised by the hotness of the cashier, long dark hair, a bit skinny with big brown eyes, and a small flower in her hair functioning as a pin.

And just as I looked up she said something, but no idea what she said. And she had just begun scanning my wares.

So in response I grabbed a toothbrush I was buying, and I said;

"You see this right here" (now she nods), and I go "I bought this color because I feel it matches my sparkling personality".

(It was a pink toothbrush).

Now she did that thingy where she takes one of her hands up to try and cover her smile. And she kept semi-giggling for the next minute.

When she stopped giggling, I all proud said "yeah, I usually brush my teeth like, all the time n stuff".

I'm not sure if this was good, because she had a look on her face "wtf is he saying".

Anyway I felt crisis averted and that it went a lot better than it could have.

Also when it's older ladies you can troll them.

I sometimes take a ware and ask "Do you think this might make me fat?"

(I'm very skinny, and I struggle so hard to gain weight).

And she usually reply with "ehh... I don't think that'll be a problem".

And I go "Ohh, why, how so...."

And then they like stutter a bit, like "shit, I can't be unpolite lol".

And from there the opening's already been done and it's just fun and smooth sailing after here.

Marius: LMAO

On January 08 2012 03:42 RaiNKhAN wrote: Show nested quote + On January 08 2012 03:16 julep wrote: i dont really understand what he is getting at with his line? makes no sense to me When you take a step back and think a lot simpler, then you will realize this guy is fucking with bigredhoss b/c he isn't intimidated by him. Bigred, when someone does that to you it becomes imperative that you establish the ground right there. Think about it, if he was trying to be your friend do you really think he'd open up with that? Shit dude, I wanna fight this guy now. You know what I'd say? I'd say "Man I'm stooping pretty low without a comeback, but your ass has to scan all this shit im buying nigga. Go ahead, spit on my protein bar and I'll smash your head into the cashier mother fucker".

hmm, maybe it's a regional thing but i didn't get that impression. like maybe someone saying something in north dakota that's usually just innocent small-talk would be more likely someone fucking with you in new york lol. although admittedly he is not the type of person i'd expect small-talk from. i mean i don't think he was trying to be my friend per se, but the way he said it he didn't seem very confident himself.

also i guess i should mention that the girl in front of me was not particularly attractive so i didn't feel like he was going all "alpha" on me from that angle.

Well, he has had all day to practice these lines...I guess in a sense he gets paid to do it...he probably says that to every other person that comes thru his line...and maybe he was scared of that girl and needed an outburst of sociability...but when I.m in this situation and I.m not really in the mood for these shenanigans, I will usually come back with a little laugh and maybe something like ..,"that.'s funny" and ofc quickly move forward with checking out

On January 08 2012 03:11 spets1 wrote: "your mom" thats the universal comeback to all witty comments

That is deemed illegal in some circles. Unbeatable.

I find it odd that he said this guy-to-guy. This would be a pretty standard tongue-in-cheek comment girl-to-guy or guy-to-girl imo.

you should have said : "oh yeah? well the jerk store called and they're all out of you!"