Forgiveness

Depends how they wrong you.

forgiveness does not imply there was no punishment

People make mistakes. Everyone deserves a second chance.

On January 21 2013 23:54 K40Cheddar wrote: People make mistakes. Everyone deserves a second chance.

Sometimes you can predict that the 2nd chance will go wrong if you have enough information.

I think we forgive others for ourselves first, not for them. Carrying a grudge is like constantly ingesting poison that makes you feel uneasy. I tend to forgive because part of my understanding of human nature comes with a fatalism when it comes to people's behaviors... it's just part of my philosophical outlook. I believe that people can't help being who they are and they couldn't have been any different... hating them for it is illogical: it's a denial of what is the case. But all of this is easy to say... in an emotional situation it would be impossible for me to forgive someone if they did something that really, really pained me, like kill someone I love. I think in an ideal world we would punish with cold passion, because otherwise it just means more harm. People do not really "deserve" to be punished, no matter how much we sometimes feel this is the case. But we still have to punish them, because the very threat is what minimizes the chances that the wrongdoing will be done.

Yea either I forgive because I assumed reasonably good intentions and no more then an acceptable level of retardation regarding whatever the hell the guy did or I'm just to tired to give a shit.

When I grew up my mother had some quote or whatever on the wall;

"Lär dig livets stora gåta, älska, glömma och förlåta" which means something along the lines of: The big thing to figure out in life is to Love, Forget and Forgive. It's early so my translation sucks. Anyway, she always told me she didn't agree with it, you should love and forgive but never forget. I kind of think that's reasonable for the most part. Can't go around being angry at shit all the time but you can't go around trusting people who fuck up all the time either.

On January 22 2013 00:01 Loco wrote: Show nested quote + On January 21 2013 23:54 K40Cheddar wrote: People make mistakes. Everyone deserves a second chance. Sometimes you can predict that the 2nd chance will go wrong if you have enough information.

Was being an optimist. Obviously some people will never stop making mistakes in life. Yet many still forgive.

Forgiving is important for restoring the relationship to its previous status. There's no reason that you'd want a constant grudge against someone who are in frequent contact with, and there's similar little reason to want to carry a grudge against someone you don't have much or any contact with. Forgiving restores relationships and allows life to go on for all involved.

god forgives, I don't.

When I used to go to church, our priest preached something about how you are allwed to forgive but still feel anger and shit like that because it's natural. Something along those lines anyway. I think I agree. Ive been wrnged before and I think it cost me a valuable experince but I didnt let that get ahold of me and insta forgave the guy. The memory is still a little sour to me but he has apologized since then and we remain very good friends.

I remember seeing this clip where a killer psychopath is confronted by victims' family, all cursing his fate to come, to which he solemnly faced. But the killer broke down in tears when one father of victim said that he forgives him. This was profound to me.

I think as poker players who are constantly drilled to make logical decisions, it might be difficult to find reasons to forgive a peraon. But we aren't machines and shouldn't act like it. Kindness goes a long way. I for one retaind a friendship that may last a lifetime.

On January 22 2013 00:08 Loco wrote: I think we forgive others for ourselves first, not for them. Carrying a grudge is like constantly ingesting poison that makes you feel uneasy. I tend to forgive because part of my understanding of human nature comes with a fatalism when it comes to people's behaviors... it's just part of my philosophical outlook. I believe that people can't help being who they are and they couldn't have been any different... hating them for it is illogical: it's a denial of what is the case. But all of this is easy to say... in an emotional situation it would be impossible for me to forgive someone if they did something that really, really pained me, like kill someone I love. I think in an ideal world we would punish with cold passion, because otherwise it just means more harm. People do not really "deserve" to be punished, no matter how much we sometimes feel this is the case. But we still have to punish them, because the very threat is what minimizes the chances that the wrongdoing will be done.

this is a pretty good post.

i also feel that the word 'deserve' is a pretty meaningless word to me. I cannot understand how humans think that they deserve anything, no matter good or bad they have been it just makes no sense to me.

^ yeah, that word tends to make no sense at all in most contexts... just recently I saw an ad that said "treat your immune system to the great nutrients that it deserves!" and it's like lolwat. and obviously in the larger sense we didn't "deserve" existence.... there's nothing we could have ever done to "earn" it, so it just follows that we don't deserve anything further on... but obviously its gonna stay embedded in our language because its tied to the concept (myth) of free will.