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MARSHALL28 United States. Mar 20 2013 03:43. Posts 1897 | | |
Downswinging
Before I get into this post I just wanted to make sure you guys knew to add me on facebook. I'm trying to create a bit of an atmosphere there and build towards launching my website that is about to come together at some point or another. You guys are mostly poker players, you should know, we can be a lazy bunch when it comes to this kind of thing. It's still in the works though, just takes some time. Anyways my point was, add me on facebook ....facebook.com/peter.jennings.944
Anyways, on to the post:
It's not something I've done a ton of talking about in this blog in general because I would like to be the type of person who doesn't focus much on the negative and who perpetuates positive beliefs and positive thoughts.
I'm in the middle of the biggest downswing of my life right now though. I can't be exact because I really don't even know what my actual net worth is. Money is spread out too far among too many different places and people for me to figure that out. I would guess this downswing has fallen roughly near the 60k mark though over the last 5 weeks.
My life has been a lot better since the start of 2013. Finding that perfect balance is almost an impossibility, but I had clearly tipped too far in the direction of only playing poker and grinding to earn as much money as possible. Over the course of this year I've done everything pretty much the opposite. I have been going out or having friends by 5-6 nights a week. Usually up til 5AM, sometimes even 10AM. It's been a good change of pace, and fun.
I'm not necessarily looking to completely re-direct all of my goals back towards poker. That wouldn't be the right thing for me to do right now. What I'm gonna do is just keep living my life making the best decisions I can for each moment I have. I think this is the only sane way to live.
I assume most of you guys reading this blog regularly are pros so you should be able to relate with what I'm going through. Obviously I can't claim to be on the level of these world beating players who win and lose half a mil a day, but I really can't remember too many people lately blogging about being on a 60k downswing over the course of 5 weeks.
I do remember Sauce wrote a pretty insightful blog post a while back about his biggest downer and how he began to question whether he was even ever a winning player. If someone at that level of the game can feel that way, you gotta realize that it happens to all of us. The amount of money isn't really what we are getting at here though, it's all a matter of degree. How big of a portion of your bankroll was the loss? How far down in stakes do you have to drop in order to get back to the position you were previously at? How long do you need to stay there until you will feel comfortable stepping back up?
Personally, I talk to quite a few of the guys I play with on a regular basis. I would say we have a mutual respect for one another. That type of thing definitely helps a ton. Nothing is easier than to think you are a terrible player and that you can't possibly win no matter what you do when EVERYTHING is going wrong. Having some other people around who have been in thoat same spot and can relate to what you are going through while having the intellect to be able to connect with you that you actually are a smart winning player is something that just helps a ton.
Regardless, this is the type of thing that will make or break you as a pro. How well do you handle your downswings? Can you stick with it and keep a level head despite losing day after day buy in after buy in? Those who can continue to make the right decisions and realize the results are merely an afterthought are the ones who survive in this world. I know because I've been doing it for almost 7 years now.
This is as much a reminder to myself as it is to any of you guys out there who I'm sure struggle with the same thing. How strong is your will? Can you continue to believe in yourself when nothing goes your way, when you just got sucked out on for the 6th time straight this session, when the same thing has happened the last 15 sessions you've played? When you just mistakenly bluffed off a stack in a stupid way because you were frustrated about a number of bad beats? When you can do that and not lose your mind, you'll know you've made it.
Anyways, on a side note. I made like 6 cardrunners on the go HH review videos. Each about 5-7 minutes in length. Hope you guys enjoy those.
It's been quite a while since I felt I really needed to drop down below 5/10 but I guess this might be the time to do it.
GL
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Fayth  Canada. Mar 20 2013 04:00. Posts 10085 | | |
On the bright side, it may help you become a bit more humble
fwiw this is pretty standard and happened to me several time, the whole big downswing followed by asking myself if I'm even a winning player, it should turn around as long as you're being disciplined |
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| Im not sure what to do tomorrow when I see her, should I shake her hand?? -Floofy | |
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I know the feeling all too well. Just make sure the bankroll management is there. And youll be back in no time. |
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MARSHALL28 United States. Mar 20 2013 08:28. Posts 1897 | | |
just so u know .. im probably one of the most humble people i know for the amount of success i've had compared to my general friends.
i get constantly accused of being too humble IRL.
i always feel the need to talk myself up on the internet because nobody else is gonna do it for me. IRL people are doing it for me constantly. |
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barbieman Sweden. Mar 20 2013 09:58. Posts 2132 | | |
Same thing happened/is happening to me. Felt like everything was going against me, running awful eventually lead to shitty play and so much frustration I had to take a break from cg. Playing some mtts and studying mtts hard right now, still running like shit though (1,7million under chip-ev playing mostly 180man this month) but at least I'm winning.. a little. Which is a nice change from feeling like shit and hating life every time I sat down to play cg the months prior.
GL and hopefully it turns around soon. |
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locoo Peru. Mar 20 2013 10:49. Posts 4561 | | |
"im probably one of the most humble people i know" I guess we just have very different definitions on humbleness.
Aside from the teasing I'm sure you will get back on track with time and discipline, seems like you have both. |
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| bitte bitte bitte bitte bitte bitte | |
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LemOn[5thF] Czech Republic. Mar 20 2013 11:55. Posts 15163 | | |
humble ppl dont talk about how humble they are anyway glgl, dont make the mistake of playing dota instead |
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uiCk Canada. Mar 20 2013 11:59. Posts 3521 | | |
| | On March 20 2013 07:28 MARSHALL28 wrote:
just so u know .. im probably one of the most humble people i know for the amount of success i've had compared to my general friends.
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lol you don't even know what humble means. |
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| I wish one of your guys had children if I could kick them in the fucking head or stomp on their testicles so you can feel my pain because thats the pain I have waking up everyday -- Mike Tyson | |
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uiCk Canada. Mar 20 2013 12:05. Posts 3521 | | | |
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| I wish one of your guys had children if I could kick them in the fucking head or stomp on their testicles so you can feel my pain because thats the pain I have waking up everyday -- Mike Tyson | |
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goose58 United States. Mar 20 2013 15:56. Posts 871 | | |
humble:
1. Marked by meekness or modesty in behavior, attitude, or spirit; not arrogant or prideful.
2. Showing deferential or submissive respect: a humble apology.
3. Low in rank, quality, or station; unpretentious or lowly: a humble cottage. |
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Baalim Mexico. Mar 20 2013 17:19. Posts 34261 | | |
| | On March 20 2013 07:28 MARSHALL28 wrote:
just so u know .. im probably one of the most humble people i know for the amount of success i've had compared to my general friends.
i get constantly accused of being too humble IRL.
i always feel the need to talk myself up on the internet because nobody else is gonna do it for me. IRL people are doing it for me constantly. |
hahaha holy shit i cant believe you just said that, you are a cartoon character my friend lol. |
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| Ex-PokerStars Team Pro Online | |
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Bullshit Canada. Mar 20 2013 17:27. Posts 738 | | |
plays up to 25/50 biggest downswing is 60k  |
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MARSHALL28 United States. Mar 20 2013 17:51. Posts 1897 | | |
lol ok i overused the word humble. im always downplaying my successes in person though. u guys just dont know me that way cuz i try to attention whore on the internet and its impossible to both do that and be humble ... on the internet !! |
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MARSHALL28 United States. Mar 20 2013 17:52. Posts 1897 | | |
and 25/50 runs like once every blue moon now ... very rare to see a game running that high. ya i was playing them at a time but we all run into downswings. |
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humble people dont make a website about themselves that people probably are not that interested in. Just make a blog on 2+2 like everyone else |
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asdf2000 United States. Mar 20 2013 19:50. Posts 7695 | | |
| | On March 20 2013 16:19 Baalim wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 20 2013 07:28 MARSHALL28 wrote:
just so u know .. im probably one of the most humble people i know for the amount of success i've had compared to my general friends.
i get constantly accused of being too humble IRL.
i always feel the need to talk myself up on the internet because nobody else is gonna do it for me. IRL people are doing it for me constantly. |
hahaha holy shit i cant believe you just said that, you are a cartoon character my friend lol.
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looooooooooooooooooooooooooool |
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| Grindin so hard, Im smashin pussies left and right. | |
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Rapoza Brasil. Mar 20 2013 20:00. Posts 1612 | | | |
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Nazgul Netherlands. Mar 21 2013 05:47. Posts 7080 | | |
| | On March 20 2013 16:51 MARSHALL28 wrote:
lol ok i overused the word humble. im always downplaying my successes in person though. u guys just dont know me that way cuz i try to attention whore on the internet and its impossible to both do that and be humble ... on the internet !! |
that doesn't make you humble that just means you pretend to be humble in person |
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| You almost twin-caracked his AK - JonnyCosmo | |
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MARSHALL28 United States. Mar 21 2013 06:56. Posts 1897 | | |
| | On March 21 2013 04:47 Nazgul wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 20 2013 16:51 MARSHALL28 wrote:
lol ok i overused the word humble. im always downplaying my successes in person though. u guys just dont know me that way cuz i try to attention whore on the internet and its impossible to both do that and be humble ... on the internet !! |
that doesn't make you humble that just means you pretend to be humble in person
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so either...
i pretend to be humble in person because i'm a liar and my internet persona is more important to me than the relationships i cultivate in my life. apparently also i attention whore on the internet because i am incredibly vain and superficial.
OR
i actually am humble in person because im trying to cultivate relationships with positive people who add value to my life and the world. and i attention whore on the internet because thats whats necessary to get people to read my shit and find somebody they can connect with.
you think you know me so well. i don't agree.
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MARSHALL28 United States. Mar 21 2013 07:02. Posts 1897 | | |
and ya i know its a game. but dont ever try to claim i will say somethin without backin it up. i stay sharp. |
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| | Last edit: 21/03/2013 07:05 |
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