Optimism,Realisim,Cynisism

that's not realism

im an optimist, i leave the cynicism and realism up to you guys!

what happened to doing only cash? lol

only cg sux i win but i don't like it too much

now i play this way :

A, Keep 4-6 tables of 6max turbo's going 2 hr sessions.

B, Play lowstakes SNG's Stacked Tables

C, Cascade 15-20 Full Ring Cash games

Aim for 25/hr+++

the other sngs are just 180 mans and 45 mans stacked ontop of each other so i can play as many as possible.

tableninja move position for any hands that take any thought

Oh look a butterfly !

Does anyone really win at sngs? If you look at sharkscope leaderboard for profit it's as grim as can be... Only headsup sng players make anything

On December 03 2013 14:00 Achoo wrote: Oh look a butterfly !

"dilettante"

boom i improved your vocabulary. you're welcome

Cant believe you never thought about sng's till now. With your tourney skills I'd think sng's would be a cakewalk.

Why are you playing so many tables though? I mean cmon, is 20 tables + sng + MTT really necessary? What happens if you just play like 4-8 tables of cg? Do you get bored or something? I'd rather 4 table NL200 than 16 table NL50.

That being said, I noticed you stopped posting results. You originally agreed but then dismissed the idea as a waste of time. I disagree, I think by hiding your results you are kinda lying to yourself about your success. You dont want to be attacked publicly, so you can continue to make up excuses for darting between different game types/limits because nobody really knows whats up. I can tell you this though, whenever I spaz out with my poker goals it's because I dont really have any, and I'm just trying to find something that works. You have put in the equivalent of 5 lifetimes of poker compared to me, yet still seem lost and confused. Pick a game and stick with it, then post your weekly results here for guidance. Dont be ashamed if you lost 12k at NL200 or something, just do it to keep yourself honest. The worst thing for a poker player is delusion.

I've been keeping 6 tables of the SNG's going all day, just read that message

sometimes i'll 12-20 table the lower stakes ones since they are so abc


i have no reason to post my HEM2 - i'm up like 2.6k right now, i was up 500-700 like 5 times at nl200 , looked at HEM, then went to be down 500 very fast...

I was being an ass I shoulda stopped sessions, in my mind I would be up ~8k or so, since the -500's were +500-+1200 at one point.

I was playing to long of sessions.

my BB/100 is strong though.

EV evened out alot at NL200 and I played way to long of sessions, i did it like 10x in a row, wanted to smash my face.

I play a lil CG now and tend to rake a bi or a few and go back to SNG, just when I feel like it. CG is just ez fun for me for like a quick $25-$75 at lower stakes.

SNG's are gonna be my job now for a long time.

MTT's will be here n there through the future.

Win the SM This weekend would be nice. my dads puttin me in haha

There's no such things as true realists.
And those that think they are don't understand how the brain works.

What about them goals brah? I think you could settle on a game type so long as you had some kind of profit quota to hit each day/week. Start small so you have something to feel accomplished about, like $200/day or $1000/wk. Do that for a month, then bump it to $500/$2000 and see if you can sustain that kind of winrate. Just hitting your mark will feel really good even if you think you can do better.

Do you consider yourself a relatively intelligent person? Do you have what it takes to wake up at 7:30 in the morning 5 days a week?

If so, get a real job. This shit isn't working out for you. For fucks sake, a long time ago it used to be entertaining to read your blogs/"progress" (for lack of a better term), and then it was maddening when you were ripping people off all over the place, and then it was frustrating to hear you act like you were 'living the dream' (to quote you) while you were paying people back at the pace of a turtle. Now, once again, you're all over the fucking place thinking that yeah, you're gonna make it.

It's been what, 3 years? 4 years? You still owe people money?

I don't think you're a stupid person at all. On the contrary, I bet your skillset could make you quite successful in numerous fields. I think you have issues, but I think you can overcome them to lead a rewarding and happy life.

How will you feel, if in 4 years, you're in the exact same boat you're in right now? That's a very depressing thought, isn't it?

I've seen you bash on lemon (I pick him because he's in a relatively similar situation as you - living off his poker winnings, living on the edge) a couple times about how he still plays nl16 or nl25 or wtfever after all the time he's played, essentially calling him an idiot and saying he should give it up. MAN. HE'S IN THE FUCKING GREEN. YOU'RE IN THE FUCKING RED. This should ring a very, very loud bell in your head.

I saw you post less than a couple weeks ago about how you still consistently make between 30-50k a month. That's so fucking delusional. Just to let you know, there's probably literally only one person on this site who actually believes that (Xervean). I honestly don't know why you even say stupid shit like that to tell you the truth, it only makes you look like an idiot.

This might be totally off base, but even if you hit it massively big, from my personal perspective, you lack the sort of self control and discipline to actually keep your shit together. It could possibly even be worse for you. It would keep you reaching for that 'high' for ever.

Why the hell am I even writing this.

Get a job man. I think you have a serious gambling problem, and the day you give up poker altogether will be the best thing you ever did for yourself. It would be cool if you could just do it 'on the side' or whatever like other people, but I don't think you could even do that. You'd probably have a sweet run over the course of a month, playing when you got home from work - make a good chunk of cash and think 'Fuck going to work! I'm only making 19/hour there! I make four times that sitting on my ass in my living room!'. And then the vicious cycle would continue.

Sorry if this comes off wrong. It's just depressing to see people who I've known/followed for years continue to piss their life away. I've never met you (or any other lpers) and I probably never will. I'm sure you're a nice guy in person and all that. Personally, being a (relatively) big winner at poker for the first few years is probably one of the worst things that's ever happened to me in my life, and I wish I had have never discovered it.

Anyways, whatever. None of this is going to sink in anyway. I've probably seen 8+ other people try to talk sense to you. I don't know if there is any help for you man. I really hope so though.

After-thought - This is a bit hypocritical in itself, as I used to pay for a large chunk of my living expenses from poker winnings and still do use it to pay for some things (leisure things, booze, clothes, hockey gear, wtfever, vacation down south 1 time!!) but I can't explain the 'down' feeling you get dealing with the grind, ups and downs, day in and day out, months on end. Leads to isolation, lack of physical exercise, poor habits, depression, lethargy, etc. It's not good. I'm not saying there's not any good things - holy fuck, is there ever - but you gotta look at it on the whole.


Anyways. That was one hell of a rant hahaha.

I think if neilly hit it big it's not fair to assume he'd piss it all away since, well, he hasn't hit it big yet. Would he be happier if offering a job paying 60k a year w/ benefits to give up poker cold? It's doubtful.

If he's on his deathbed tomorrow the only regret he would seemingly have, based upon our observations here at LP, would be wishing he had a few more days to hit his big score. A guy like Neilly can't be depressed because depressed people do not put in his volume day in and day out. If anything I would say he's depressed when he isn't able to pursue his dream of becoming a huge successful poker player. Who isn't depressed when not chasing their dreams?

A lot of the debts he owes and the stories about him are deplorable, but I find it astounding that he still grinds everyday. devon06atX, I'm curious as to why winning at poker was the worst thing for you. Like, what did poker prevent you from doing when you had (seemingly) other awesome choices in life that you regret not pursuing?

On December 04 2013 03:57 RaiNKhAN wrote:Who isn't depressed when not chasing their dreams?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Problem_gambling

Degen gonna degen in the end, and no one can force anyone else to change so this topic of conversation is purely academic; however it would be very interesting to see Neilly put some of his sick worth ethic into something else, even if merely for an experiment. Thoughts?

use the force Luke

why do you say you win at cash games?

graphs disagree with you

On December 04 2013 03:57 RaiNKhAN wrote: I'm curious as to why winning at poker was the worst thing for you. Like, what did poker prevent you from doing when you had (seemingly) other awesome choices in life that you regret not pursuing?

Not "seemingly awesome" choices, no, but it got me stuck into a rut for years and years. I would make the bare minimum to get by comfortably. Sucked the motivation for things outside of poker away from me. Stopped playing as much sports, stopped hitting the gym, have been a huge hermit from time to time. It basically turned me into a bit of a slug.

If I didn't get the mindset that I could easily (back when poker was a lot more profitable) make a quick buck to make loan payments, rent, etc. I would have started my career much much earlier. Most likely I'd have a house by now (fu renting). That being said, it did enable me to travel around the country leisurely, gave me complete freedom and I did love it for awhile.

Looking back, I was definitely immature about it. If I made enough to cover all my expenses for the month in the first few days, well then, clearly it was vacation time for the rest of the month. I stayed at nl50 (lol, I know. Surprisingly made some serious bank multi-tabling back then) for probably 90% of my poker winnings, too lazy/unmotivated to move up. I can't even count the amount of money I pissed away while playing drunk. However, poker was so easy at the time, it was never really an issue.

The fast easy money (not like it is now heh) turned me from a highly active, outgoing, motivated individual into a lazy piece of shit. The insane amount of free time led me to drink waaaay more often, sleep in extremely late religiously, and let myself go.

Shit, it even took me three or four years to go back to university to finish off my degree, and considering the state I was in mentally, I'm surprised I even did that.

I know my own personal experience with poker certainly doesn't relate to everyone, but I'm confident that anyone that used to play low stakes professionally (or even medium for all I know) can agree with some of the changes that happens to people who lead a lifestyle with no structure and way too much free time.

Maybe the problem is the fact that I was content with 'getting by', so perhaps it's not the poker that put me into a slump for the longest time. Maybe I just require a regimented lifestyle that forces me to wake up in the morning every day, get out, socialize at work, etc.

It might be rash for me to extrapolate my own life experiences and compare them to Ryan's situation, but I know all too well the vicious cycle that he's stuck in. Amazingly, he still seems to be quite motivated and considering his past, I find that quite remarkable. Maybe he is meant to be a rock-star at poker at some point in time. I just can't imagine the horrible feeling he'd have if in 10 years, he got tired of the lifestyle and decided to 'join reality'.

I'm not one to totally count out the possibility of him hitting a jackpot, but considering we (as poker players) are statistically minded, I think it would be a pretty solid bet that if he doesn't give up poker - that he'll be in the same situation 2, 4, whatever # of years from now.

Mind you, perhaps he loves his lifestyle. Maybe he feels totally fulfilled in all aspects of his life and is proud of his poker achievements.

Either way, my last two posts have been absurdly long heh. Don't know what's gotten into me.

I'd be very interested to hear if many other 'bottom feeders' who relied on poker income for years have similar stories. Despite all the good things poker did for me in the past, I'm certain that the negatives derived from it greatly exceeds the positives. So yeah, poker.

Well I think the simple fact is Ryan probably doesnt have any skills outside of poker at this point. I dunno if he has a degree or not, but after investing so much time playing poker he's basically pot committed. Too much time has elapsed for him to enter the working world and break even on his poker endeavors. The time:investment ratio to earn his way up the corporate ladder would be better spent honing his poker skills, at least in his mind. He could either spend the next 5 years earning salary increases to the point that he's making what an NL200 grinder makes, or spend those 5 years learning to beat NL200 and then be solidified as a real life grinder. I'd probably be in the same boat as him if it werent for the fact that I was already making the same hourly as a grinder working a real life job. I never wanted to play anything higher than NL200 because I felt NL200 was a good goal and all I was ever cut out to play, so when I bust my bankroll taking shots it doesnt matter because my life EV is still zero sum.

I think Ryan hides his graphs and purges hand histories, and there is probably a lot more than meets the eye about his results. It's easy to fall back into the trap of "maybe THIS time I can beat the game". It's not necessarily an addiction per se, just delusion. I still deposit money online here and there or play a live game once per month because I always remember those times I won and not the times I lost. So the way I see it, if I one once before, why cant I win again? I didnt win by dumb luck, I won through skill, so harness that skill and pwn! Will I ever make it? I dunno and I dont care. I'm exactly where I want to be in my life right now. I have the wife, the sports car, a brand new house, money to go on vacations out of country 1-2x per year, and a rewarding job. Would I like more? Yeah, but not enough to jeopardize what I already have. And thats the difference; Ryan doesnt have much at risk here. He lives alone, bounces around the country, doesnt have a girlfriend or any particular long term prospects he's interfering with right now. Why shouldnt he put it all on the line? There's no guarantee telling him to "stick it out" in the "real world" will ever actually get him the things he wants either. Not everyone is happy with a full-time job, car, house, and girlfriend. If I was miserable with my job and hating my possessions, I'd probably invest more in poker too to get out.