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GoldRush   United States. Feb 17 2014 18:37. Posts 1025
Hey guys,

This song Rocks -

Got back a couple days ago to the states after 6 months up in Canada, happy to be home. Was the biggest rollercoaster I've ever been on.

the trip was going really well, I was making like 1.2k a day for 45 days, then i got way to egotistical...

i forgot how to play from my heart for a long time. =[

Pretty much debt free though, did a good job on that while I was up there which is a great feeling, just a few to john and artanis left

Around January it was my last rent payment (2400 move in and 1200 a month - security covered 4th month on the 4 month lease) - I was struggling a lot, had very little confidence at the table, and had very little food.

I was questioning everything in my life. I sat there and played way above where I've ever played for about 45 days, after that I was playing like a fckin n00b and just lost direction.

Things were shit.

I had like $400 online and rent due in a week.
I managed to get to $1400 and get rent paid, and kept $100 on an rebuilt, knowing there was no reason for me to even be there, other than 60 days rent paid in downtown Ottawa when I was just about broke.

Everytime I won - I was sending my debts out - I kept nothing, John (jlost88) was my backer, he was astonished that i kept 0-10% of what was coming in, but a man on a mission, is just that.

So ya, I flowndered around with very little confidence, didn't have my medication, was having trust issues with the group of poker players I moved up there with, it was shit.

so long story short.
win 45k (got like 20ish of it) paid off mostly (only positive)
brag about it and started playing from ego.
Struggle for 2-3 months.......was making $50-$150 a day and cashing out food money etc.

I got really fed up - it was like day 105 of the downswing, and I stopped playin for a while, the game was making me sick, there was no passion or joy.

After taking a lot of time off, I came back and had a lot of fun again, was playing well, and playing 6max, MTTs and lowstakes PLO - to keep the game fresh and fun.

I then took 3 days and binked out a few tournaments (hadn't even paid for my ticket home yet on the 8th or so when I cashed out) - first day I invested 133 with helviti from LP, we won 1400, 2nd day we invested like 200 and got back like 100 each profit, 3rd day we both got a few hundo too. we tried the SM and a few other highstakes good ones but they didn't pan out. lost a flip for like 80k, just knew he was weak, river ace, w/e.

Got home and been a lot more relaxed, have made some big adjustments, i play cashgames mostly now (but i do 1-2 tournaments a day that are soft and pay well on ACR) and just work for $20 or so an hour at cashgames til I become one of the best. I played like 90k hands of CG's on stars, 50k hands of 1/2 zoom and did really well, I feel very confident in the games, although I'm just rebuilding at NL25 now. Always 4 tabling cash or 1-2 tabling MTT.

In life I haven't met any single cute girls recently, but have cleaned my act up a ton. Quit the clubs for about 4 months, quit any hard drugs, same timing about 4 months now, feel way better everyday.

I started working on my nutrition, feeling I have some deficiencies in some areas, i think this is going to help my life a lot, luckily my brother is a nutrition guru, that really helps.

This is a class stoned neilly ramble
#neverpreview

Ottawa was a really nice city.

I learned that 60-200bi is never close to enough for MTT's...FMl...lol.

I became a cash grinder and changed my mindset 100%, had tons of coaching which I am super thankful for (John, Marshall, Forhelviti, CasinoCasino and my local buddies up there)

I really love the new Iveypoker site, the videos are extremely stellar. feel more confident everytime I watch a video.

I binked a $6 1k (1.4) today - kids can eat. (oh wait, no kids)

I went through more emotional stress, maybe even semi trauma during that last trip. Thats my last trip ever out of the usa for more than a month or two for poker. I just go to hard, I feel like im in a time constraint and have to be grinding 24/7 or something. idk, im slightly degen if im losing too. if im winning, im always in very good control and most people don't understand this. i think its a chemical imbalance or something in my head. not like i can go to my doc and say i ate tons of lsd and mdma over the last 10 years, then he wouldn't give me xanax lol

things got pretty scary up in canada a few times.

i was ballin pretty fckin hard and playing sooo amazing - i was playing on like level 10 about a month in (or whatever just a high ass level) - i had to take a few weeks off waiting on my meds, came back and was at like lvl 4 - expecting to come back at lvl 10. that was fckin terrible. was stressing over the 1st places too much.

i hate tournies.

i spent 4 years on mtts.

ive played poker like 10 years.

im just like a 1/2 - 2/4 6max grinder at roughly 1bb/100....

I have a great tournament skill.

Nowaday I'm gonna grind online mostly, Casino Fri and Sat night and MTT sundays, and ya, like a 6r and one of the "bigs" at ACR each day

About moving to play poker, I just wanna get an apartment here, do what i say above (get a 6 month lease) - hopefully do atleast a 30k wsop schedule - if I have a good summer, move to Humbolt County - Grow green legally and play at night.

When my br gets back to 2500 - I'm starting a 1 year timer. If I don't have 30k saved after all lfie and bills paid in 12 months, then i would go back to school and play on weekends.

I'm going to push it harder this year than I ever have. Hopefully I don't fuck up. About 500 pros tell me everyday I deserve huge wins (exaggeration but god its said a lot to me) - I've been cleaning my life up and working really hard and studying life a beast to just be the best beast ever.

thats a true ramble.
been a long time since I posted.

I got back a few days ago, I hope to ski 1-2 times and keep grinding a lot, I just want to get an apartment here I think..........but my friend offered me a great room in las vegas for $350 a month which has legal sites plus bodog and acr...and i'd be close to the big good live mtt's which will give me more opportunities at winning them. - gonna try to relax til 5k or so and make a decision then...


Fira - I've had some weird poker dreams man. One night I was walking from las vegas to my house, then barack obama and i were in the air parachuting to the earth, as i landed, i walked the land, and went over a hill, and Greg Raymer was there. His wife was super nice, they took me in, we had a great meal, and I stayed the night at there house lol.

Also, had a dream I was at the table with my dad and JohnnyCosmo and Elky (i think) - I had like AA - it was a FT and like everyone went all-in and I had AA and held, then JohnnyCosmo ran infront of the Trophy and stole the picture! I think they gave him the $ in the dream too!

I hope you guys have been well, I had to take a lil time off from LP, my ego gets goin sometimes, its a love/hate.

GL to everyone,
thats a long read lol
Ryan


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 Last edit: 18/02/2014 08:42

GoldRush   United States. Feb 17 2014 18:58. Posts 1025

Best poker highlight of the trip was chopping 3way in a 109 1r1a for $16,xxx

A 3k winning session at 1/2 zoom.

beating moment_mori hu (crushed) - one tabled the WCOOP HU - bye first round, beat moment mori 2nd round, beat a strong reg 3rd round, never was behind in any matches by 10-20%. next match was like 2 from finals, had 8k vs 2k stack, he sucks out on me, wins a pot, then i miss 98 on A76.. that was close

didnt do much FTP, did one miniftops for fun and got 22nd, lol wish i knew it was that close to FT, prolly woulda played tighter, I rarely look in tournies with large fields although i should and do more now.

and just like a 20-30 day span where i was making the exact right move it felt in every single situation. sometimes i'd 3bet T7o, flop KJ4, check chck, turn they fire, i reraise for a 65% riv jam, they checked - timing was perfect, jams went in, all the plays like that. was floating with T4cc on 3heart boards cuz his line made no sense for him to have a high heart on the board. he bet bet and riv another heart, i make it like 38k from 18k and he instafolds. mtt game was so complete.

I'm excited for this years wsop, I'm going to be selling %'s, I have sold around 33% so far (30k total *edit*) prolly have the other 33% sold and will buy the other 34%. i may end up playing under a friend too not sure. still in talks about that stuff, we're goin this year for a real schedule though. rio has great $250s a day that pay $52k or so daily for the days during wsops where you don't wanna play a certain event. you can check those out on Harrahs

i owned the hellllllll out of some mtt's in Montreal drunk as fuck, thats actually prolly my best highlight. if there was a pocket cam on me in the playground casino, people would have shit themselves. although i was so wasted i was showing tons of hands anyways. that was the night i went to a club, got really wasted and my buddy stopped to visit a girl, the cops pulled me out of the car in montreal and were trying to ask me questions. The substances were laughing at the cops, they drive me 1-2 blocks away and just leave me sitting there at 3-4am. Thank god my friend found me lol, i walked around in 2 circles, and just sat down on the ground. good ummm, su mdma stances can make you content in any situation LOL.

That was a crazy night, was in my 3rd or 4th week up there - was goin out alot then.

 Last edit: 17/02/2014 19:17

TheHuHu3   United States. Feb 17 2014 20:08. Posts 5544

First.

TheHuHu4 coming soon :) 

Skoal   Canada. Feb 17 2014 20:18. Posts 460


bigredhoss   Cook Islands. Feb 17 2014 21:09. Posts 8649

welcome back ryan, hope you can become less insane in 2014.

Truck-Crash Life 

GoldRush   United States. Feb 17 2014 22:02. Posts 1025

Thanks hoss, i'll do my best sir


GoldRush   United States. Feb 17 2014 22:08. Posts 1025

Skoal that is too epic, whats your starcraft alias sir?? (if you played) Always love your posts


SolarM   Germany. Feb 17 2014 22:28. Posts 533

entertaining and inspiring as always


mnj   United States. Feb 17 2014 22:45. Posts 3848

couldn't read any of it. i always feel sad when you make a post here.


Achoo   Canada. Feb 18 2014 01:45. Posts 1454

Lucky you didn't end up in the streets, next reality check could be much worse ...

Odds are exactly 50%: it either happens or not 

Syntax   United States. Feb 18 2014 03:36. Posts 4415

Skoal is rekrul i believe lol

wut wut wut 

Joeingram1   United States. Feb 18 2014 06:04. Posts 943

lol that was truly a ramble


SpasticInk   Sweden. Feb 18 2014 06:39. Posts 6298

1200 per month in rent seems pretty big no? Coulndt find a cheaper place?


GoldRush   United States. Feb 18 2014 08:44. Posts 1025

oh its rek!

ya spasticc..it was so expensive in ottawa......and so hard to find a place for a -4 month lease.....had to pay out the ass for a small 1 br.......

600 is steep in my mind......it was tough but we're home now..

A true reality check indeed from the Montreal night and variance, you're so right. I cleaned up a ton after that... Not pussyfuttin the process... you're right tho!


GoldRush   United States. Feb 18 2014 12:51. Posts 1025

Achoo I have a good family, I wouldn't need to worry about that sir, all the poker trips are just to get ahead/stay ahead of the curve and hopefully make $$....

I can understand how that can happen to some though, i have empathy to them..

Good friends and family are pretty important...worse case scenario that night, when i sobered, i woulda went to cop shop, called ottawa and had a friend come pick me up, or flew back, it was just a fun story.

mnj, you're the most solid troll ever, without haters, passion is less, i kinda thank you. obviously we must be very different individuals, for you to always hate, since we are both humans playing poker sharing a main interest, yet I just don't know anything about you. GL to you anyways, i have no reason to ever say anything rude to you.


Achoo   Canada. Feb 19 2014 01:11. Posts 1454

Good for you mate, you still should quit playing imo, good luck in the future...

Odds are exactly 50%: it either happens or not 

GoldRush   United States. Feb 19 2014 12:11. Posts 1025

everyone has there own opinion, gl to you.


 



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