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Party Report |
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LemOn[5thF] Czech Republic. Jun 30 2014 20:44. Posts 15163 | | |
Here you go guys promised reposted report from that VIP party I went to in Prague with PS. around 40 poker players (1female + 1 wife  )
The day has finally arrived, my first Pokerstrategy VIP party.
This was me meeting any online regs for the first time ever for that matter. Since I started in 2009. Thanks to my now worldwide recognized victory in the PS HU Championship and my freshly acquired diamond status I made the list.
Damn you dota that took 2 weeks off my grind this month else I'd go to Wroclaw as well 
First order of business still in my home located town about an hour on the victory bus away from the glorious capital was quite naturally The Gym because granted some of the players were expected to be better than me, but DO THEY EVEN LIFT?
I've arrived 75 minutes too early, just to be sure. I decide, quite naturally to meditate on a bench next to some local homeless gypsies for half an hour because granted some of the players were expected to be better than me, but are they ZEN even?
I've mindfully observed the local muff passing by and also a large pigeon performing a mating dance next to a female pigeon. Dude scored and they pigeon french kissed. Foolproof way to pickup females for the inevitable night club appearance later? Acquired.
The meeting point was ingeniously selected as "Franta's cafe". It wasn't a cafe at all, at least not for several generations it hasn't been. It looked more like this
Thank you Jesus for making me a douche bag and wearing a stars black chip hoodie - One of the Czech Community freelancers has thankfully approached me. We've become great friends since then, but naturally I have no clue what his name was anymore 
Then, finally we've approached the main group of poker players. Obviously I have been expecting a massive flock of nerds with spots and nerd glasses, but the reality couldn't be further from that assumption. This was the coolest looking group of men and women ripped with muscle and haircuts executed by Justin Bieber's very own hairdresser. I have naturally snatched a picture for you guys
Finally we were off to the place of the event. It was a place beyond Prague in the middle of nowhere with abandoned buildings around. It looked like we are going to become stars and make a continuation of this piece of art, but actually in real life
 .
That did not transpire, and instead we were graced with a beautiful view of an ancient castle where the food and drinks would be served. It actually turned out that someone has built this castle 12 years ago from scratch, because why the fuck not, making it four times younger than the chick I hooked up with later that night, but I am getting ahead of myself here.
What happened inside is a word of legend now - a magnificent feast, anything your taste buds could desire was there - pork goulash, pork roast, cooked pork, more pork. I could go on.
The conversations were sharp, the moods were high and many intellectual topics were attacked from all angles, I learned many many things that night like:
1) FL still exists, and people make money at it. Christuff and FirstTsunami are basically rock stars at this ancient form that many thought waslong lost in history, along with Atlantis. They even received praise from fanboys all night long.
2) Pointless theory arguments irl drunk are just like your usual skype group and forum clusterfucks. Except you are actually cool when you're power drinking and all people at the table are nerds as well. About 65% of the time, I won these every time by the way.
3) Two people in the room, me and FirstTsunami come from Starcraft background, with elky and Grrr... also playing this proves you can't achieve greatness unless you have said background.
4) When Germans and polish get shots of vodkas, they say "cheers" drink half of it gently, say "cheers" half an hour later and gracefully finish the second part of the shot, even slower that time.Up until that point I was not aware men in those countries get blessed with gentle female organs upon birth.
5) People have not really even heard of liquidpoker. Even the guy that played starcraft was like "team liquid oh yeah of course I know team liquid what kind of a question is that". And had no clue that liquidpoker might be related. Of course I've tried to convince folk it's the best forum in the wrld
After moods were powerfully enhanced by rich fibre, quality carbohydrates and the perfect mix of B vitamins contained in served free beer served we moved over to a retro arcade to compare skills. I destroyed everyone at Tekken 3, and even induced tears in some people's eyes. With Jin Kazama and one buttons when he does that totally op spin. There were Dance offs ( I din't beat anyone, but got the highest subjective artistic marks. From myself.) I almost managed to kill the T rex female in Jurrasic park, no big deal.
Around 11pm with our nerdy sides, shot drinking and poker argument sides satisfied the bus has returned us back to the capital. The night did not end there though. After the Czech community folk departed for some local club, us 3 English speakers headed off to Karlovy Lazne, to score some strange. This club was dubbed "shit with 13y olds" by the locals from pokerstrategy, but we paid no attention to those haters. As literally countless scientific studies have shown* Poker players are the most desirable group of people to the other sex known to man - and with less of them there we had better chance at scoring.
The average age was actually 18, all foreign chicks there. Immediately I went in to test a hypothesis of a couple cheesy pickup lines, and went to use the surefire way to score that macho pigeon taught me earlier. I tried hard to balance my ranges by
- hitting on 16y olds
- hitting on fatties
- hitting on hotties
- hitting on the same chick twice in a row with the same line without knowing
- telling chicks I hate them but my pal told me I'm wrong
When all seemed lost and frankly in theory hot dumb 18y olds are the dream but it just wasn't the case anymore I have decided to widen my range considerably and approached a group of women in their 40s, just for a laugh. Now as you might recall earlier in the story where I was telling you about the age of that castle - that didn't end there
She was around 20, with about 23 more bonus years of experience on top of that as well, and I totally love her and would have babies with her, except she already has two . One of them almost the same age as me of course
And we are meeting again at some point :D
After the club I had 1 hour until the first metro, so I naturally sat down in drunk meditation at Charles Bridge, and even got photographed by someone, possibly by a journalist creating a masterpiece on homless people of Prague.
After that I got lost obviously, but luckily 2 chicks I strongly complimented by calling them "semi-hot" (which they didn't appreciate for some reason?) and some Irish fanboy who said he was a bronze star showed me the way.
I made it still heavily steaming to my 90year old great aunt's flat at 6am to her great delight, and fell asleep, happy, and satisfied, thinking of my antique lady.
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| 93% Sure! | Last edit: 30/06/2014 20:56 |
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Highcard Canada. Jul 01 2014 03:46. Posts 5428 | | |
Mariusol or whatever his name is definitely harder to understand than you, but this took a couple of reads. Sounds like a good night, albeit slightly crazy |
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| I have learned from poker that being at the table is not a grind, the grind is living and poker is how I pass the time | |
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Nice writeup: You have quite the talent, ser. |
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punix Germany. Jul 01 2014 06:35. Posts 406 | | |
so when you're drunk and lost in the middle of the night and met unknown ppl, you still tell people which pokerstrategy rank you have?
cool story bro |
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| | Last edit: 01/07/2014 06:36 |
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Trav94 Canada. Jul 01 2014 06:56. Posts 1789 | | |
| | On July 01 2014 05:35 punix wrote:
so when you're drunk and lost in the middle of the night and met unknown ppl, you still tell people which pokerstrategy rank you have? |
Wait, you don't do this? |
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LemOn[5thF] Czech Republic. Jul 01 2014 07:30. Posts 15163 | | |
| | On July 01 2014 05:35 punix wrote:
so when you're drunk and lost in the middle of the night and met unknown ppl, you still tell people which pokerstrategy rank you have?
cool story bro |
I didn't
I just had the stars black chip hoodie and a totally random Irish guy told me directions and he said he's just a bronze star and apologized for no reason, you know like Irish guys usually do |
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punix Germany. Jul 01 2014 10:35. Posts 406 | | |
ah ok i already forgot that hoodie :D
everythings fine
but one thing still "unclear" for me at some point u said the locals disappeared and you and the "foreigners" or whatever went to clubxyz
afaik ur currently livin and england but ur profile already says .cz so u should be some kind of local too ?
probably misunderstood or misread something there. |
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LemOn[5thF] Czech Republic. Jul 01 2014 11:52. Posts 15163 | | |
| | On July 01 2014 09:35 punix wrote:
ah ok i already forgot that hoodie :D
everythings fine
but one thing still "unclear" for me at some point u said the locals disappeared and you and the "foreigners" or whatever went to clubxyz
afaik ur currently livin and england but ur profile already says .cz so u should be some kind of local too ?
probably misunderstood or misread something there. |
well basically I was born in Czech Republic, but haven't been here in 7+ years as I was studying/living Scotland. So I know 0 things about Prague, didn't know anyone from czech poker scene and talking about poker in czech is pretty awkward for me. So yeah I belong more to the English speaking community than to Czech when it comes to poker |
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GoTuNk Chile. Jul 01 2014 12:53. Posts 2860 | | | |
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LemOn[5thF] Czech Republic. Jul 01 2014 14:36. Posts 15163 | | |
I always like Asians and 17y olds it makes no sense. She's got nice body tho |
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