love and friendships are weird.

cool post! i am curious about this topic as well

currently i believe it is possible to fall in love with someone's words, without knowing what they look like etc. although, perhaps its just infatuation; i don't know if i have ever fallen in love. how do you tell if you're in love?

On January 31 2015 21:57 fira wrote: cool post! i am curious about this topic as well currently i believe it is possible to fall in love with someone's words, without knowing what they look like etc. although, perhaps its just infatuation; i don't know if i have ever fallen in love. how do you tell if you're in love?

I must confess every time I think I have fallen in love it has been in a different way, and I have had a roller coaster for life, so I have met different people in different times of my life and I think that affects too. The way you are in that time of your life.. One time I fell in love with a guy that I met while he was drunk at 9 am in school, he was in college and I was in highschool, it was the same institution there where literally 20 footsteps each building apart. One other time I fell in love with a guy in 3 days, was really weird, but it felt so magical, and happy, so full of love, passion, laugh, so many sunrises, and sunset, idk, he was a wall, a lovely wall, and i crashed and we were friends, and something like that, and then he died, and I could never tell him how I felt. And the last time I fell in love I really don't know how it happened, but we are friends for 3-4 years now, and i just fell for the guy, I really dont know how, but I did. The strangest part, is that non of those guys had anything in common, and I didnt feel anything alike between these 3 guys. I felt/feel really different which each of one of them, so I really don't know how it is, the real feeling of love, I think I love in a different way, but idk, I have too many ideas in my brain.

How do you feel when you fall in love?

I think love is essentially brain damage. It has the ability to alter your thought processes so greatly that it affects your behavior and reasoning. Considering how (given the right conditions) easy it is for a person to fall in love and the length of time the damage can persist, it's really quite a dangerous condition.

I personally have been avoiding such a scenario because there are too many things I want to do. I can't afford to be betrayed my brain.

On January 31 2015 22:17 leleds wrote: Show nested quote + On January 31 2015 21:57 fira wrote: cool post! i am curious about this topic as well currently i believe it is possible to fall in love with someone's words, without knowing what they look like etc. although, perhaps its just infatuation; i don't know if i have ever fallen in love. how do you tell if you're in love? I must confess every time I think I have fallen in love it has been in a different way, and I have had a roller coaster for life, so I have met different people in different times of my life and I think that affects too. The way you are in that time of your life.. One time I fell in love with a guy that I met while he was drunk at 9 am in school, he was in college and I was in highschool, it was the same institution there where literally 20 footsteps each building apart. One other time I fell in love with a guy in 3 days, was really weird, but it felt so magical, and happy, so full of love, passion, laugh, so many sunrises, and sunset, idk, he was a wall, a lovely wall, and i crashed and we were friends, and something like that, and then he died, and I could never tell him how I felt. And the last time I fell in love I really don't know how it happened, but we are friends for 3-4 years now, and i just fell for the guy, I really dont know how, but I did. The strangest part, is that non of those guys had anything in common, and I didnt feel anything alike between these 3 guys. I felt/feel really different which each of one of them, so I really don't know how it is, the real feeling of love, I think I love in a different way, but idk, I have too many ideas in my brain. How do you feel when you fall in love?

@ falling in love in 3 days, i feel like that happened to me just a few weeks ago, with an anonymous person on the internet. she inspired me to do something i never had the willpower to do myself, and later i wrote some poetry dedicated to her which was the most fun i had in a very long time. i guess a part of why i like her is cause she brings out the best in me. maybe that's a selfish perspective? i dunno. i dunno if it's love, i don't know how to tell. i've been infatuated looooooots of times before, how do u tell if its more than just a crush? must time turn infatuation into love? my (our) experiences seem defy time. well anyway later on she told me she has a fiancee... but i kept pursuing her anyway, and she finally told me to stop. now i feel like a stalker -.- kind of want to wipe my memory so i can go back to my old life. however, despite that feeling, i still care about her. i feel like i made a huge mistake by continuing to pursue her after she told me about her fiancee, like i tried to violate the life she's trying to create. utterly hate myself for that, but it's done. at this point i just want the best for her, whatever that is. as pathetic as this all sounds, it might be one of the closest things to love i've experienced... lol #lifeinfrontofacomputer

btw are u female or gay? u mentioned guys so i assume...

There are two schools of thought, mostly:

1. We base our reality on what "science" can tell us. So we say that "love" comes from brain neurons creating dopamine and stuff like that. Purely biological, chemical, etc. There is nothing else to it. Just matter, atoms. Randomness.

2. Spiritual/Conscious based school of thought. Love and friendship comes from a shift in consciousness that is not definable by current science. The universe is consciousness, we are part of the universe, we are consciousness. So when love or friendship happens it comes from the observer within us shifting consciousness in a "quantum" sort of way (an instantaneous shift).

Anyway, I think that is kind of how it goes. I think science is full of themselves and they don't realize that in 200 hundred years people will be laughing at how we thought love was just an "addiction of dopamine". Although I do agree that not true love and bad relationships are certainly almost exactly like a drug addictive behavior with dopamine highs and withdrawals.

On February 01 2015 00:00 fira wrote: Show nested quote + On January 31 2015 22:17 leleds wrote:   On January 31 2015 21:57 fira wrote: cool post! i am curious about this topic as well currently i believe it is possible to fall in love with someone's words, without knowing what they look like etc. although, perhaps its just infatuation; i don't know if i have ever fallen in love. how do you tell if you're in love? I must confess every time I think I have fallen in love it has been in a different way, and I have had a roller coaster for life, so I have met different people in different times of my life and I think that affects too. The way you are in that time of your life.. One time I fell in love with a guy that I met while he was drunk at 9 am in school, he was in college and I was in highschool, it was the same institution there where literally 20 footsteps each building apart. One other time I fell in love with a guy in 3 days, was really weird, but it felt so magical, and happy, so full of love, passion, laugh, so many sunrises, and sunset, idk, he was a wall, a lovely wall, and i crashed and we were friends, and something like that, and then he died, and I could never tell him how I felt. And the last time I fell in love I really don't know how it happened, but we are friends for 3-4 years now, and i just fell for the guy, I really dont know how, but I did. The strangest part, is that non of those guys had anything in common, and I didnt feel anything alike between these 3 guys. I felt/feel really different which each of one of them, so I really don't know how it is, the real feeling of love, I think I love in a different way, but idk, I have too many ideas in my brain. How do you feel when you fall in love? @ falling in love in 3 days, i feel like that happened to me just a few weeks ago, with an anonymous person on the internet. she inspired me to do something i never had the willpower to do myself, and later i wrote some poetry dedicated to her which was the most fun i had in a very long time. i guess a part of why i like her is cause she brings out the best in me. maybe that's a selfish perspective? i dunno. i dunno if it's love, i don't know how to tell. i've been infatuated looooooots of times before, how do u tell if its more than just a crush? must time turn infatuation into love? my (our) experiences seem defy time. well anyway later on she told me she has a fiancee... but i kept pursuing her anyway, and she finally told me to stop. now i feel like a stalker -.- kind of want to wipe my memory so i can go back to my old life. however, despite that feeling, i still care about her. i feel like i made a huge mistake by continuing to pursue her after she told me about her fiancee, like i tried to violate the life she's trying to create. utterly hate myself for that, but it's done. at this point i just want the best for her, whatever that is. as pathetic as this all sounds, it might be one of the closest things to love i've experienced... lol #lifeinfrontofacomputer btw are u female or gay? u mentioned guys so i assume...

I understand how that could feel. It most be hard, i mean, its not your fault, she could have told you since the beginning, how could you possibly know. Just, respect her decision, in the end, would you like to be with a person who was kinda cheating on his fiancee. But that's how i see it.
She might bring the best in you, but there is one advice that has made me pass through many kinds of loss. "If a person leave your life is because you have learned everything you had to learn from them, or because you have to learn something without them." and most of the time is true, maybe you had to learn how to bring the best in you, and to feel good about everything, and maybe that was it, that was her time, and now you have to learn to do it by yourself, you might find it interesting, maybe rough for sometime, but you first got to be comfortable by yourself and be the best of you just because you are capable, independent. because of that advice i dont believe in marriage, i dont want a piece of paper holding me with someone or the other way around, i want to be with a person because i want to and i want a person that also wants to be with me, and when we dont want to be with each other in some point of our lives, or I have learned everything i could with him/her or i need to learn something by my own, or the other person is looking for something else, or idk, infinite reasons, but idk it would be okay, just talk about it. but thats just the way i believe in. Im a girl btw, bisexual, one time a girl broke my heart just a little, i really liked her, but i didnt fell in love, i just liked her and we were going out and then one thing let to another and we were gfs then she cheated on me with her ex and dumped me, lol, i laughed a lot when it happened, but she broke my heart just a little. haha. but i do know im bisexual, i love girls, and boys.

im 99% sure you are a boy. btw, if the advice doesnt work for you, just try to chill and focus on something, that helps too. c:

On February 01 2015 01:00 Big_Rob_isback wrote: There are two schools of thought, mostly: 1. We base our reality on what "science" can tell us. So we say that "love" comes from brain neurons creating dopamine and stuff like that. Purely biological, chemical, etc. There is nothing else to it. Just matter, atoms. Randomness. 2. Spiritual/Conscious based school of thought. Love and friendship comes from a shift in consciousness that is not definable by current science. The universe is consciousness, we are part of the universe, we are consciousness. So when love or friendship happens it comes from the observer within us shifting consciousness in a "quantum" sort of way (an instantaneous shift). Anyway, I think that is kind of how it goes. I think science is full of themselves and they don't realize that in 200 hundred years people will be laughing at how we thought love was just an "addiction of dopamine". Although I do agree that not true love and bad relationships are certainly almost exactly like a drug addictive behavior with dopamine highs and withdrawals.

well yeah, i agree with you. every society comes to an end, and as we do now, in the future, they'll see us as stupid people.
I also agree with you about the consciousness; if your consciousness is higher is easier to understand some stuff that we wander about, maybe even that consciousness of yours or mine let us solve stuff in our lives as the way we live them, and there is a social consciousness too, and a global, and maybe a little consciousness about the cosmos that surround us, but it cannot be proven that this consciousness of the universe itself exist, because, it like trying to prove that i believe there might be a superpowerfull tea cup between the earth and saturn, that controls it all is possible, ( i know im exaggerating, but its as valid as any other theory), because there's nothing that can prove that there is not a teacup or that there is, so therefor i might be right or not, but just might. And its as valid as anything any other people believes. I do believe there is some type of energy around the universe, and my conception of love is not just as a romantic point of view. I think love it self is wonderful, not as a couple or friend, just love for life and human beings, just love for nature, and enjoy the earth itself and love just as acceptance, respect, without boundaries, nor conditions, just pure love to life itself. There are many types of love, but the most beautiful one i think is that one. , Randomness is everywhere.

On February 01 2015 01:40 leleds wrote: Show nested quote + On February 01 2015 00:00 fira wrote:   On January 31 2015 22:17 leleds wrote:   On January 31 2015 21:57 fira wrote: cool post! i am curious about this topic as well currently i believe it is possible to fall in love with someone's words, without knowing what they look like etc. although, perhaps its just infatuation; i don't know if i have ever fallen in love. how do you tell if you're in love? I must confess every time I think I have fallen in love it has been in a different way, and I have had a roller coaster for life, so I have met different people in different times of my life and I think that affects too. The way you are in that time of your life.. One time I fell in love with a guy that I met while he was drunk at 9 am in school, he was in college and I was in highschool, it was the same institution there where literally 20 footsteps each building apart. One other time I fell in love with a guy in 3 days, was really weird, but it felt so magical, and happy, so full of love, passion, laugh, so many sunrises, and sunset, idk, he was a wall, a lovely wall, and i crashed and we were friends, and something like that, and then he died, and I could never tell him how I felt. And the last time I fell in love I really don't know how it happened, but we are friends for 3-4 years now, and i just fell for the guy, I really dont know how, but I did. The strangest part, is that non of those guys had anything in common, and I didnt feel anything alike between these 3 guys. I felt/feel really different which each of one of them, so I really don't know how it is, the real feeling of love, I think I love in a different way, but idk, I have too many ideas in my brain. How do you feel when you fall in love? @ falling in love in 3 days, i feel like that happened to me just a few weeks ago, with an anonymous person on the internet. she inspired me to do something i never had the willpower to do myself, and later i wrote some poetry dedicated to her which was the most fun i had in a very long time. i guess a part of why i like her is cause she brings out the best in me. maybe that's a selfish perspective? i dunno. i dunno if it's love, i don't know how to tell. i've been infatuated looooooots of times before, how do u tell if its more than just a crush? must time turn infatuation into love? my (our) experiences seem defy time. well anyway later on she told me she has a fiancee... but i kept pursuing her anyway, and she finally told me to stop. now i feel like a stalker -.- kind of want to wipe my memory so i can go back to my old life. however, despite that feeling, i still care about her. i feel like i made a huge mistake by continuing to pursue her after she told me about her fiancee, like i tried to violate the life she's trying to create. utterly hate myself for that, but it's done. at this point i just want the best for her, whatever that is. as pathetic as this all sounds, it might be one of the closest things to love i've experienced... lol #lifeinfrontofacomputer btw are u female or gay? u mentioned guys so i assume... I understand how that could feel. It most be hard, i mean, its not your fault, she could have told you since the beginning, how could you possibly know. Just, respect her decision, in the end, would you like to be with a person who was kinda cheating on his fiancee. But that's how i see it. She might bring the best in you, but there is one advice that has made me pass through many kinds of loss. "If a person leave your life is because you have learned everything you had to learn from them, or because you have to learn something without them." and most of the time is true, maybe you had to learn how to bring the best in you, and to feel good about everything, and maybe that was it, that was her time, and now you have to learn to do it by yourself, you might find it interesting, maybe rough for sometime, but you first got to be comfortable by yourself and be the best of you just because you are capable, independent. because of that advice i dont believe in marriage, i dont want a piece of paper holding me with someone or the other way around, i want to be with a person because i want to and i want a person that also wants to be with me, and when we dont want to be with each other in some point of our lives, or I have learned everything i could with him/her or i need to learn something by my own, or the other person is looking for something else, or idk, infinite reasons, but idk it would be okay, just talk about it. but thats just the way i believe in. Im a girl btw, bisexual, one time a girl broke my heart just a little, i really liked her, but i didnt fell in love, i just liked her and we were going out and then one thing let to another and we were gfs then she cheated on me with her ex and dumped me, lol, i laughed a lot when it happened, but she broke my heart just a little. haha. but i do know im bisexual, i love girls, and boys. im 99% sure you are a boy. btw, if the advice doesnt work for you, just try to chill and focus on something, that helps too. c:

ah i wouldn't say she was emotionally cheating on her fiancee, our chat was completely innocent. and i dont blame her for not telling me, i should have just stopped after she did. i like your advice, i feel i've learned so much from her. it hurts because i was so disrespectful after what she did for me T.T and i just wanna do something nice for her... but now is probably time to let things be. she isnt exactly out of my life, we both post on another forum so i see her sometimes and it makes me sigh.

yeah, i guess i'm not a supporter of marriages either. my parents got divorced when i was young, it was rough and not something i ever want to go through. i dont know how much marriage has to do with real love. i guess i dont understand the concept of marriage, like whats the point? ceremony preparations, expenses, uncomfortable clothes, for what, a piece of paper that says if we don't work out we'll have to go through more shit so we had better get it right? theres gotta be something i'm missing.

mmm same sex relationships not something i am at all familiar with. i just know girl+girl=hawt XD and ya i'm a guy. i can imagine its not too different from a straight relationship though. you said you didn't fall in love, but liked her a lot. how do you differentiate between being in love and liking someone a lot? perhaps how often they are on your mind, or emotional reactions you have about them?

thanks for the advice, i think it will help

On January 31 2015 22:49 jchysk wrote: I think love is essentially brain damage. It has the ability to alter your thought processes so greatly that it affects your behavior and reasoning. Considering how (given the right conditions) easy it is for a person to fall in love and the length of time the damage can persist, it's really quite a dangerous condition. I personally have been avoiding such a scenario because there are too many things I want to do. I can't afford to be betrayed my brain.

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On February 01 2015 01:00 Big_Rob_isback wrote: There are two schools of thought, mostly: 1. We base our reality on what "science" can tell us. So we say that "love" comes from brain neurons creating dopamine and stuff like that. Purely biological, chemical, etc. There is nothing else to it. Just matter, atoms. Randomness. 2. Spiritual/Conscious based school of thought. Love and friendship comes from a shift in consciousness that is not definable by current science. The universe is consciousness, we are part of the universe, we are consciousness. So when love or friendship happens it comes from the observer within us shifting consciousness in a "quantum" sort of way (an instantaneous shift). Anyway, I think that is kind of how it goes. I think science is full of themselves and they don't realize that in 200 hundred years people will be laughing at how we thought love was just an "addiction of dopamine". Although I do agree that not true love and bad relationships are certainly almost exactly like a drug addictive behavior with dopamine highs and withdrawals.

your problem comes from the misapprehension of reducing scientific knowledge to "randomness" or reducing neurochemistry to dopamine addiction

i would say you made a false dichotomy but pretty much you created two sides to an argument, a natural one and a supernatural one, and then reduced them to the same pathetic ignorance of having no answers to anything. whereas actually if you take the time to open a book or even just wikipedia instead of deepak chopra that shit's super fascinating

On February 01 2015 12:26 Santafairy wrote: your problem comes from the misapprehension of reducing scientific knowledge to "randomness" or reducing neurochemistry to dopamine addiction i would say you made a false dichotomy but pretty much you created two sides to an argument, a natural one and a supernatural one, and then reduced them to the same pathetic ignorance of having no answers to anything. whereas actually if you take the time to open a book or even just wikipedia instead of deepak chopra that shit's super fascinating

I do admit to creating a two sided argument, but that it seemingly is close to true. You just pointed it out yourself, is there "supernatural", or just natural? You put in that word supernatural. Supernatural is a lame word to use to describe the universe and all its happenings. If I had to use that word, I would describe every action and existence as simply "natural".

I know about Deepak Chopra and how he talks. He is mostly ok, but his main goal does seem to be to try to make money. You do yourself no better by telling me to look at wikipedia. Wikipedia is a joke, don't you understand how it works?

There is no trying to logically talk someone, this is such a deep and fundamental question it immediately jumps to the biggest question there is. What some people call "God", or what others call a representation of awareness/consciousness is one side.

Science is a religion. It is faith in a "particular system". Straight out of the dictionary. Although I don't need a dictionary to argue semantics.

On February 01 2015 15:21 Big_Rob_isback wrote: Science is a religion. It is faith in a "particular system". Straight out of the dictionary.

completely inaccurate but i'm glad your true colors came out so fast

Science is not bad, it will just keep evolving forever, that is also my view. Anyway, that is all I have to say on this. I made a mistake in this thread by trying to push my beliefs. Wish all the best.

very cool topic. something i've "learned" or come to "realize" is that you don't really get to choose ur friends. there are certain things like the city/country you are born in or the school you go to, that determine the pool of people you get to meet and u may randomly end up as friends with some of these people. i guess i find it interesting considering how much other ppl shape your life views etc.