I am reading Heidegger's "Being and Time." hiems would immediately jump to the conclusion that i am status signaling. He says i am trying to oppress him and create a new world where i am high status because i read books. I would like to see a world where intellectualism is valued especially outside of academia. But part of this blog was that i wish to take a break from all this utopia talk. I am sick of it at the moment. I need a break. That's why i am reading Heidegger "Being and Time." It's something that i have meant to read for a long time and is pure contemporary, continental philosophy. No critical theory, etc. But i guess i have to touch on the utopia to some degree. My dad is a very smart man, my brother too. Reading 1 page of Heidegger would be confusing and boring for them most likely. I read my dad some Baudrillard before and he just said "I don't understand one word of what you just said. Why do you read that?" I don't want a world where people have to use their leisure reading philosophy but i DO want a world where people have that option. It is very difficult to read let alone comprehend philosophy working full time+ hours. I can count the number of women on one hand that thought my knowledge of Nietzsche or Sartre was sexy. Actually i can only think of 1 women in my life that even knew i knew Nietzsche and Sartre and it's debatable if she thought it was sexy. That isn't going to change anytime soon. I am not trying to oppress anyone I am for 0 hierarchies remember? How we get there is a whole different topic. I don't know how we get there and I don't want to think about it at the moment. If someone has suggestions I'm all for it but I don't have any suggestions besides just slow, gradual change which we probably end up going extinct to climate catastrophe instead of actually finding an alternative to late capitalism. I need to hang out with my leftist friends TT.
Even in anarchist spaces there are still hierarchies. In Food Not Bombs one of the members is a chef. When she is in the kitchen we are equals but we understand that she is a chef and give her authority.
When i don't have late capitalism to complain about i don't have much of a blog.
Roderick talks irt Heidegger about how we have this underlying anxiety about death. And i think this is an idea Sartre takes from Heidegger but we have this freedom to live life authentically. I mean we are going to die after all right? What do we have to lose?
But, as Roderick says there is more to life than authenticity. We can authentically be Nazis (*cough* Heidegger *cough*). So, morality plays a part but as Sartre says when the chips are down there is no ethics, no thought experiment that can help. Do you stay with a dying mother? Or, do you leave and fight with your comrades?
My dad and my brother invested into the sciences and business. Most would say their investments were better than mine. For me I would disagree and i suppose that is all that really matters. I am not trying to create a world where science and entrepreneurship are stifled. Remember, i don't actually know what kind of world i want to create besides one that is kinder and more fair. What i do know is that being a human in this world can be tough. We will see how much wisdom Heidegger has to offer.
I want to make it clear that I'm not trying to denigrate my dad in the above post. He can't understand or doesn't care to understand Baudrillard in the same way i don't understand or care to understand some PhD paper in chemistry. The difference is an education in chemistry and business can lead to loads of money where as sitting in my room reading Heidegger is another thing altogether. Among many things it is an end-in-itself. My dad would zap around the world frantically procuring profit for his company. I sit in my room reading Heidegger. My dad reads Tom Clancy novels and watches Friends reruns. My brother is the same. Says he doesn't have time for anything but is somehow up to speed on every Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime tv show in existence. It's just a different life. One that I don't want. And hiems will jump in again that I can't have that life. Well, so what? Work, rest for work, work...
I'm going to die so I better figure out my own way to live life.
"Dare to use your own reason" - Kant
And yeah i'm using the help of philosophers. Why the fuck not? What am i going to do? Do drugs? Watch network tv? Join a cult? (I'm already in a cult)
NO. I am going to die. I have to live life my way.
This is how I spend my time? What is the point here?
Am i trying to get others to live authentically?
We all will die. Let's get our shit together. And that may mean getting a promotion, getting another job, getting married, having kids, getting a swimming pool or it may just mean fucking sitting in my room reading Heidegger and posting on LP. I am wearing all black right now listening to undistinguished, obscure music...
I buy my clothes off of ebay and goodwill. I have enough clothes though so i don't really buy clothes. I consume waffles and pb&js. I live with my parents. I go for a walk typically 2-3 miles every day. I read Heidegger. Sometimes i talk to people on the phone. Sometimes i talk to people on discord. It's really not so bad. What am i missing?
Yeah, i'm missing in person social connection and giving but that isn't possible right now. What am i missing?
I am about 100 or so pages into "Being and Time" and Heidegger is still defining what Being is or rather Being, being, "being," Being-in, Dasein, Being-in-the-world, et al. but in order to understand being we must understand ontology, phenomenology... in order to understand phenomenology we must understand phenomenon and "logos" and a bunch of Greek words, et al. I mean Being is half the title so i get it. We must be thorough here. It's all stimulating and good. It's good analytical work but i am trying to get to the "meat" of the situation here. Mainly that we have an underlying anxiety of d e a t h so what do we do with that in this l i f e. But i will continue to travel down the path of Dasein and logic. I am sure we will spend 100 or so pages on time and temporality as well so time to buckle up. I could just read the cliff notes but I am actually enjoying his way with words. I wish I had the powers to just make up words, argue a point in greek/latin, and generally own at philosophy.
I am awake though man.
Roll out of bed without an alarm clock - chk
Breakfast - chk
Caffeine - chk
Shit - chk
At my motherfucking leisure. Not rushing around. Not robotic like. I thoroughly enjoy it. This is how it should be.
I am trying to get somewhere, get somewhere, do something, do something, FAST. WE ALL DIE. We all die. Das Nichts. The nothing. It's 100% likely. As Roderick says it's one of the only true democratic institutions in this existence. Let us spend more time in graveyards! (Heidegger said this in response to how one can live life more authentically?)
Unfortunately this blog and blog post are nothing more than idle talk/chatter. Cows are important. They were thrown into this existence just as we were.
I can write all I want it's still going to be chatter. I am an inauthentic fool who is afraid of death. I could have chosen to be silent and meditate or just sit and read but instead i blah blah blah. It's all blah blah blah. Let me go for a walk in the forest and hear the birds singing, the brook babbling, the trees quietly, slowly dancing to the calm breeze. Fuck all you guys i wish i could be silent. Die Angst es echt. The anxiety is real. The Dread of das Nichts. So i write thinking that it means something (it means nothing). I am just a scared little animal just as the chicken is a scared little animal, the pig, the cow, the fish, the shrimp.
This is a stupid blog and a stupid blog post.
I am just trying to think about this idea of das Gerede. The more i type the worse of an offender i am....
Maybe by some luck i can be touched by an angel and wander onto untrodden paths (Heidegger). Some actual authentic content. Which is so lacking in this world. We should probably just read Rimbaud, Shakespeare, Einstein, maybe a handful of others and just never talk to each other. I am going to build a mud hut in der Schwarzwald and meditate and read philosophy. Befriend the locals and take alms in return for doing chores. That's a really shit idea.
Well, folks, looks like the message today is that we are all inauthentic scared little animals that can sometimes grasp at authenticity and transcendence but are mostly too busy chattering and fleeing to get there. I am going to end this idle talk and give myself a chance at something better.
chatter chatter chatter. Chatterer chats chattingly to the chatting chatterer.
Good Morning Chatterers,
I have some food to digest. I pooped out some other food in the form of poop. Poop poop poop. Pooper poops poop of poop. I will die. I poop, i die. How does Heidegger define the fascinating? A Wandert in der Schwarzwald ist fascinating. I can't even have a fascinating Wandert in der Schwarzwald without being an inauthentic everydayness pile of poo. Or is it in den Schwarzwald. Ich merke nicht. I do not remember. I can not recall. I want to make it a goal to read "Sein und Zeit" in Deutsch. That would be a heckuva project. What if i had an executioner's date in 20 years if i couldn't accomplish an appropriate understanding auf "Sein und Zeit" ich bin Nichts. Dasein ist schön. I don't wish to fall too far into everdayness but here i am. This is still Dasein (Being-in-the-thick-of-it-in-the-world). We are thrown into this Dasein. We just have to make the best of it. So, i will chatter some times. Actually i will chatter a lot. Sometimes it may be best to sit in a room quietly and contemplate death. Make a daily walk through a graveyard.
I mean i am chattering on a macbook pro listening to music. It doesn't get anymore idle-talk-everydayness-fleeing than that even given the subject matter. Maybe if i just yell:
I will die! You will die! We all will die!
Are you going to talk about the weather on your death bed?
Would i be typing this on my death bed? Maybe i would. I have to put these ideas somewhere.
The main idea is avoid "gossip," "entertainment," "news," social media, et al. I can also see the impact Heidegger had on my main man Byung-Chul Han. Es ist herrlich.
Fuck, I am stimulated as fuck and it's around midnight in quarantine. This fucking "Being and Time" by Heidegger is fucking good shit. Heidegger was a terrible fucking person but he wrote some fucking good philosophy.
I want to discuss with someone so bad and it's just me sitting here alone.
When did i turn 36? When did i get fat? When did Abella Danger get so good at pornography? Damn.
We are fucking THROWN into the world. Let me just wake up a little bit before *whoooosh* oh shit i'm in the world now. I am getting a bit bored with Heidegger to be honest. I'm looking for the next shiny toy. I can't even focus on 1 book.
Fuck bro. Makes a nigga want to pop a few xannies and just vibe out to this shit. Or smoke a phat blunt...
Tranquilization to the "they."
The uncanniness of Being-towards-death. Man, if i just think about this anxiety hard enough i can be great. Just sit in a room and think. Think about death. Think about Angst. No technology. Build a log cabin in the forest. And just think.
No more falling. Falling into the everdayness of blind or rather Angst ridden Being-towards-the-end. Being-towards-das-Nichts. There is power there. Power which can be used for the rise of the third reich or just one's own creative expression. Similar to der Wille zur Macht. We can talk about Nazis taking over the world or we can just talk about overcoming oneself.
But at the end of the day it's around midnight again and i can't fucking sleep and i am nothing but a scared little animal. What the FUCK do I KNOW?
My own mortality brings me POWER! POWER to do what? I am wasting it on a mundane blog post but i can't get myself away from this music.
Fuck it. We'll watch some Roderick lectures. Better than this gutter trash activity. I have nothing authentic to write anywhere and it kills me inside. I can't make music. I can sort of paint and i can help start a revolution. That's a start. I don't think the revolution needs my interpretation of Derrida's interpretation of Nietzsche but that's the next shiny toy i'm after. Good riddance "Being and Time" and this installment of this lovely blog...
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United States. Apr 01 2020 19:49. Posts 9043
