Re-entry plan

Idk about any of that but I'd def watch a NewbSaibot poker vlog.

well considering what you wrote in your blog at 2019 december, you should work on letting poker go. You seem irrationally obsessed with the game and you are not particularly good at it. Even if you have some rungoods it will never land you anywhere. Seek professional help if this feels like an addiction to you


also most of the comments there were advising you to stop: "From everything you write it seems like you should abandon any hopes of having poker as a source of income. Not because it's not necessarily attainable, but because for a majority it's a pretty miserable existence, and you seem to be one of these. "


just remember what you wrote previously: "so fucking nice to finally have some normalcy in my life after what feels like an eternity of pure chaos"

You should not listen to dnagardi because he is generally a vagina that only posts about how he has "figured it all out" and how much happier everyone is when they are not playing poker lol and keeps giving vagina type advice. Why the fuck ru on this forum then you retard? There are alot of vagina type loser gamblers that will all echo this same thing over and over. Don't listen to them obviously, quit poker for your own reasons, not some retard on liquidpoker. Newbsaibot pretty much did a boss ass move coming back from the shitty situation he was in awhile ago nobody can take that ever away from Newbsaibot imo, he is more than capable of handling himself and doesn't need to listen to the advice of a dumbfuck like dnagardi.

In my opinion, your enthusiasm and love of poker is refreshing. However, if you do not approach poker in the correct way that same thing that is a big positive will turn a ripe fruit into a bad apple! You need to figure that out, or like dnagardi says try to find some other thing that interests you. Whether you switch to PLO cash, NLHE tournaments, etc those are valid ideas to have but at some point even with those games you will have to try to get decently good at them and probably have to play some decent amount online//do a decent amount of study on those. You will also have to work on your other skills, mental game, bankroll management, etc. The only method that exists to become "successful" at poker without being good at it is content creation which is why I mentioned the poker vlog thing, lol. However, it's not likely you will become a popular vlogger just as a result of there being competition, and even with vlogging generally speaking the better you are at poker the easier it is to be successful. idk what your goal in poker is, hopefully you will be able to come up with a solid plan for it to be a positive influence on your life!

Anyway I just want to say again to everyone. This is a mother-fucking gambling/poker forum. This is not a communism forum, a vegan lifestyle forum, a philosophy forum, or whatever fucking other ideas some of these crazies are into these days. Mods need to step the fuck up and warn all these vagina communists that flood into every blog and tell everybody to quit playing poker, quit gambling, etc. What is the point of this forum otherwise? We are all fucking adults here and for the most part have been around long enough to make decisions for ourselves. This is a line that must be respected imo.

Also pls don't get "professional help". This is a one-way ticket to dumbfuck-ville and you will end up in some vagina yurt-community doing kegel exercises with Loco.

I try to be honest with myself and make sure I dont have a problem. I took a trip to vegas and tested myself at the table games to see if I have any propensity towards gambling or "the rush" of winning. I hated it, absolutely every single one of them. I dont even get a rush from playing poker, in fact if anything I'm filled with a constant state of anxiety while I play. I used to get the runs before every session. Taking a pregame diarrhea dump was part of my warmup routine. Sounds awful doesnt it? I do enjoy the game, and I think I enjoy it on the level that one should enjoy it; it's mentally stimulating and satisfies my immature desire to be irresponsible with my life. When I talk about lifestyle chaos in the past I referred to being homeless sleeping on couches and driving for uber full time. I actually made a run at sleeping in my car one weekend just to see if it was doable so I could hide in the shadows of society.

The problem is now that I have a legit career again I dont feel any happier for it. In fact if anything I feel exactly the same, sometimes even worse! So clearly money isnt the motivating factor. I thought if I bought a bunch of home furnishings it would make me feel complete & normal. It didnt. I thought maybe if I jump on Tinder and meet someone that would fill the missing piece. I actually havent done this yet but I'm pretty sure it wont. I started to accept the fact that maybe I'm clinically depressed and just dont know it yet, since I have no reason to feel miserable all the time. But then I took my first road trip back to FL to play poker and I instantly felt alive. I think this feeling comes from accomplishing something I set out to do. I have no actual life accomplishments. No degree, no certifications, no nunchuck skills, nothing. I'm just 1 out of a billion people out there who "lives". I'm the guy from Office Space. Player poker is honestly the first thing I ever set my mind to and pursued for more than a few months before quitting from fear of failure. It makes me happy just to know I try at something. The rush I get playing poker is never at the tables, it's always after when I'm walking through the parking lot to my car. This overwhelming feeling of satisfaction, that I earned this, that I made it. For those reason I dont think I'm obsessed or have an unhealthy desire to play. They all stem from what anybody wants, to be good at something. Whether I'm good or not is another story. I think I'm past the rungood phase though despite the slow pace of live poker. You read about online players going on 200k breakeven stretches. That would be like breakeven for 5 years at live poker. I dont think any professional suffers from that, so you have to weigh the metrics differently. Because the winrates are so astronomically higher you can judge profitability a lot sooner.

I definitely have major mental leaks that I havent been able to overcome yet. I only play short winning sessions and long losing one's. I play a very robotic self-inspired strat based upon my own observations of live play. I never exploit, just use my 'script' for bet sizes and continuation spots that seems to work against the standard field at 2/5. I'm really bad at incorporating study material into my game and usually misapply when I read that it costs me money so I just abort and "go back to what works". Whenver I try to plug such leaks I go on a huge self-inflicted downswing that I cant afford to fuck around experimenting with new concepts.

These are all hugely detrimental failures for a poker player, but yet my winrate is still good so I guess I'm ok sticking my head in the sand and ignoring them for now.

Oh and I'd never start a VLOG because I'm a wholly uninteresting person lol. Although who knows maybe I'm so stupid that it would actually be entertaining.

Yo Daniel, I don't really post but I saw this and thought I'd reach out to you here. Have been in similar situations and would like to offer this option.

Take the job (glad you did) and build your resume and employment history. Start saving a little for later in life and get a nice living situation together. Get stable.

Play on weekends and probably play some small stakes online to satisfy any weekday itches, get practice and make some cash.

Save your bankroll and keep it separate. If you really want to play live for a living, get comfortable life set up and build your roll. Don't just jump in. Re establish your credit, build out a 100 buy in roll and six months in savings - separate from regular checking account or rainy day fund.

You have good results but honestly it's still very small sample and realistically it's good money but not amazing - you're gonna need to pay taxes unless you want to risk IRS troubles later (trust me, I have had to deal with IRS on live poker results).

If you have a support system in way of social life, stable home, savings and established work history so you don't go back to low wage jobs if you take time off, maybe then consider the shot. You also get time to see what variance will be like over a year or so of playing.

You can have a bad month where you don't make enough to cover expenses -or maybe just- and you have to ask yourself if you're really doing yourself any good setting yourself up for failure.

There's nothing wrong with becoming a winning reg in your games without attempting to turn live stakes pro.

I have a couple friends who win around 100k a year on poker. They keep their 60k a year job, insurance, retirement contributions, social approval and clean taxes. They're gonna be happy and I think anyone who's talked to you would hope the same for you.

Save the poker money, keep the bankroll. If you are as good as you hope you are, you will do well this way and you will feel fantastic all the time, even after bad sessions, because it's not all or nothing. Use the money to grow and splurge on something fun once in a while.

Oh, and study. I need to study more (yo stroggoz, help me learn pio solver or coaching? Message me with rates?)

If you would like to talk more and keep in touch, message me. I know you used to live a couple hours from me in the Carolinas. Also if ever looking for another job message me. I have a couple job openings (am a hiring manager).

Wish you the best man. Kind of nice to see people from LP's past pop up.

On November 08 2020 02:06 NewbSaibot wrote: I try to be honest with myself and make sure I dont have a problem. I took a trip to vegas and tested myself at the table games to see if I have any propensity towards gambling or "the rush" of winning. I hated it, absolutely every single one of them. I dont even get a rush from playing poker, in fact if anything I'm filled with a constant state of anxiety while I play. I used to get the runs before every session. Taking a pregame diarrhea dump was part of my warmup routine. Sounds awful doesnt it? I do enjoy the game, and I think I enjoy it on the level that one should enjoy it; it's mentally stimulating and satisfies my immature desire to be irresponsible with my life. When I talk about lifestyle chaos in the past I referred to being homeless sleeping on couches and driving for uber full time. I actually made a run at sleeping in my car one weekend just to see if it was doable so I could hide in the shadows of society. The problem is now that I have a legit career again I dont feel any happier for it. In fact if anything I feel exactly the same, sometimes even worse! So clearly money isnt the motivating factor. I thought if I bought a bunch of home furnishings it would make me feel complete & normal. It didnt. I thought maybe if I jump on Tinder and meet someone that would fill the missing piece. I actually havent done this yet but I'm pretty sure it wont. I started to accept the fact that maybe I'm clinically depressed and just dont know it yet, since I have no reason to feel miserable all the time. But then I took my first road trip back to FL to play poker and I instantly felt alive. I think this feeling comes from accomplishing something I set out to do. I have no actual life accomplishments. No degree, no certifications, no nunchuck skills, nothing. I'm just 1 out of a billion people out there who "lives". I'm the guy from Office Space. Player poker is honestly the first thing I ever set my mind to and pursued for more than a few months before quitting from fear of failure. It makes me happy just to know I try at something. The rush I get playing poker is never at the tables, it's always after when I'm walking through the parking lot to my car. This overwhelming feeling of satisfaction, that I earned this, that I made it. For those reason I dont think I'm obsessed or have an unhealthy desire to play. They all stem from what anybody wants, to be good at something. Whether I'm good or not is another story. I think I'm past the rungood phase though despite the slow pace of live poker. You read about online players going on 200k breakeven stretches. That would be like breakeven for 5 years at live poker. I dont think any professional suffers from that, so you have to weigh the metrics differently. Because the winrates are so astronomically higher you can judge profitability a lot sooner. I definitely have major mental leaks that I havent been able to overcome yet. I only play short winning sessions and long losing one's. I play a very robotic self-inspired strat based upon my own observations of live play. I never exploit, just use my 'script' for bet sizes and continuation spots that seems to work against the standard field at 2/5. I'm really bad at incorporating study material into my game and usually misapply when I read that it costs me money so I just abort and "go back to what works". Whenver I try to plug such leaks I go on a huge self-inflicted downswing that I cant afford to fuck around experimenting with new concepts. These are all hugely detrimental failures for a poker player, but yet my winrate is still good so I guess I'm ok sticking my head in the sand and ignoring them for now. Oh and I'd never start a VLOG because I'm a wholly uninteresting person lol. Although who knows maybe I'm so stupid that it would actually be entertaining.

Do you talk about all this with someone close to you? Friends or family? I wonder what do they advise you?
Also starting dating if you haven't done it yet is definitely a +EV move.

"I thought maybe if I jump on Tinder and meet someone that would fill the missing piece. I actually havent done this yet but I'm pretty sure it wont."

don't be so sure, it might be exactly the missing piece. I'm not talking about one night tinder sex dates but being with someone with whom you can share your feelings and have mutual love and care (and sex aswell obv). This on average gives more happiness to ppl than money or doing a hobby.

On November 08 2020 15:49 dnagardi wrote: Show nested quote + On November 08 2020 02:06 NewbSaibot wrote: I try to be honest with myself and make sure I dont have a problem. I took a trip to vegas and tested myself at the table games to see if I have any propensity towards gambling or "the rush" of winning. I hated it, absolutely every single one of them. I dont even get a rush from playing poker, in fact if anything I'm filled with a constant state of anxiety while I play. I used to get the runs before every session. Taking a pregame diarrhea dump was part of my warmup routine. Sounds awful doesnt it? I do enjoy the game, and I think I enjoy it on the level that one should enjoy it; it's mentally stimulating and satisfies my immature desire to be irresponsible with my life. When I talk about lifestyle chaos in the past I referred to being homeless sleeping on couches and driving for uber full time. I actually made a run at sleeping in my car one weekend just to see if it was doable so I could hide in the shadows of society. The problem is now that I have a legit career again I dont feel any happier for it. In fact if anything I feel exactly the same, sometimes even worse! So clearly money isnt the motivating factor. I thought if I bought a bunch of home furnishings it would make me feel complete & normal. It didnt. I thought maybe if I jump on Tinder and meet someone that would fill the missing piece. I actually havent done this yet but I'm pretty sure it wont. I started to accept the fact that maybe I'm clinically depressed and just dont know it yet, since I have no reason to feel miserable all the time. But then I took my first road trip back to FL to play poker and I instantly felt alive. I think this feeling comes from accomplishing something I set out to do. I have no actual life accomplishments. No degree, no certifications, no nunchuck skills, nothing. I'm just 1 out of a billion people out there who "lives". I'm the guy from Office Space. Player poker is honestly the first thing I ever set my mind to and pursued for more than a few months before quitting from fear of failure. It makes me happy just to know I try at something. The rush I get playing poker is never at the tables, it's always after when I'm walking through the parking lot to my car. This overwhelming feeling of satisfaction, that I earned this, that I made it. For those reason I dont think I'm obsessed or have an unhealthy desire to play. They all stem from what anybody wants, to be good at something. Whether I'm good or not is another story. I think I'm past the rungood phase though despite the slow pace of live poker. You read about online players going on 200k breakeven stretches. That would be like breakeven for 5 years at live poker. I dont think any professional suffers from that, so you have to weigh the metrics differently. Because the winrates are so astronomically higher you can judge profitability a lot sooner. I definitely have major mental leaks that I havent been able to overcome yet. I only play short winning sessions and long losing one's. I play a very robotic self-inspired strat based upon my own observations of live play. I never exploit, just use my 'script' for bet sizes and continuation spots that seems to work against the standard field at 2/5. I'm really bad at incorporating study material into my game and usually misapply when I read that it costs me money so I just abort and "go back to what works". Whenver I try to plug such leaks I go on a huge self-inflicted downswing that I cant afford to fuck around experimenting with new concepts. These are all hugely detrimental failures for a poker player, but yet my winrate is still good so I guess I'm ok sticking my head in the sand and ignoring them for now. Oh and I'd never start a VLOG because I'm a wholly uninteresting person lol. Although who knows maybe I'm so stupid that it would actually be entertaining. Do you talk about all this with someone close to you? Friends or family? I wonder what do they advise you? Also starting dating if you haven't done it yet is definitely a +EV move. "I thought maybe if I jump on Tinder and meet someone that would fill the missing piece. I actually havent done this yet but I'm pretty sure it wont." don't be so sure, it might be exactly the missing piece. I'm not talking about one night tinder sex dates but being with someone with whom you can share your feelings and have mutual love and care (and sex aswell obv). This on average gives more happiness to ppl than money or doing a hobby.

damn bro thank you for sharing your wisdom on relationships that actually has way more relationship and life experience than you do. he really needed that. definitely needs the advice of a retarded dude that asks rikd for link to "Henry17" how to get girls book. LOL jesus christ.

It feels to me like you're looking for the wrong emotions that poker spikes in you. That sense of accomplishment you got from going to FL to play poker doesn't seem like it because of poker itself to me, but rather that you did something for yourself.

You also seem to have a weird mainstream way of looking at one's self-worth. Being in an industry where certifications are praised, I could tell you that they the most overrated shit. At this point certifications for workers are the same as marketing is for companies, you have to get them because everyone else does, even though the value for 99% of them is worthless.

Anyway, this is beside the point, chris's post is pretty good - if you enjoy poker that much you should keep it as a side-thing and have a stable job considering your previous posts. Mostly you should start doing things for yourself that are a bit out of your comfort zone, but you've wanted to try out - to me it seems like this is what you mostly enjoy. I can relate to a lot of the things you've written in terms of feelings regarding life and work but seeking new experiences usually get my mind off negative thoughts. I've started being skeptical towards "high on life" type of emotions though cause those types of spikes are usually partnered with a heavy down spiral afterward sooner or later. Helps me think more rationally too

Hell of a post Chris.

Agreed w/ what he said basically. You seem like a legit good guy... I kinda cringe when I read your blog posts sometimes - just feel like poker as a whole is a mind fuck to you (not a dig in the slightest, don't mean it that way)

I think w/ the stable income, knowing that you're not literally playing for your rent, will certainly give you a better psyche @ poker (and make it more enjoyable.. etc. etc.)

as always, best of luck man

Thanks for all the advice as usual guys. I'm gonna put poker on the backburner for a bit and work on my mental health. I bought a PLO book for my Kindle just for fun since I find the subject material fascinating and might play some micro PLO online just to apply what I learn. Strongly considering selling my fancy autopilot car too and just let that money pile up into savings for whatever. I get about 5 weeks PTO from work per year so should the time come I'll just take a heap off and go on a grind-a-thon live.

wise choice imo
good luck

You degens still getting ideas like this into your 30s? Work all week and then poker road trips every weekend? Sounds like a good way to burn out.

Chris' advice is excellent.

I remember your blog posts years ago about the same things. It sounds like you're doing well now.


In the words of Bukowski 'If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don't even start.'