It's over in a way unless we adjust

My great uncle used to say that as he got older, "we have to adjust."

Fuck cars, fuck having children, fuck white picket fences. Man, I don't know if we need a fight club. Man, if I had like 10 women over my (parents') home listening to Tribe and eating edibles that would be a good time.

My parents' electrician was a friend of mine from AA. I've been thinking of going back and just not putting up with any bullshit. I have been in "negotiations" with other friends from AA to do stuff and all of them are just like "come to the meeting bro" so I might be giving in. I have had time to reflect on not having any part of AA for 555 or so days and I think the social connection has value. But what I am saying is I might be a little belligerent as I don't believe that I need AA. Basically, I'm not putting up with the bullshit. It will allow me to eke it out and have some fun and maybe inspire me to bigger and brighter things.

Good luck rikd I pray 4 u 2 get better. 333 2 ur 555

I agree with you that its over for you in terms of playing the money game. I don't think anyone here was telling you to do that. The only reason we told you to get a job was because you wanted short term money...you still need money.

Adjusting would be like...teaching English overseas. Thats not really a money play its a life play.

I mean like...if you learned what you could about motorcycle repair and maintenance , saved up what you could to get yourself a used dual sport motorcycle+gear+savings and did a solo trip to Patagonia THAT would be adjusting...not just living at your parents painting and writing on liquidpoker.

No idea why I keep writing tho...

BTW there's no reason you can't do ubereats or Doordash or grubhub within like...a week. You don't even need a nice car for those...

On November 03 2021 07:33 lostaccount wrote: Good luck rikd I pray 4 u 2 get better. 333 2 ur 555

You used to go to AA?

Why did you stop?

(or are you just trolling around again?)

On November 03 2021 08:26 hiems wrote: I agree with you that its over for you in terms of playing the money game. I don't think anyone here was telling you to do that. The only reason we told you to get a job was because you wanted short term money...you still need money. Adjusting would be like...teaching English overseas. Thats not really a money play its a life play. I mean like...if you learned what you could about motorcycle repair and maintenance , saved up what you could to get yourself a used dual sport motorcycle+gear+savings and did a solo trip to Patagonia THAT would be adjusting...not just living at your parents painting and writing on liquidpoker. No idea why I keep writing tho... BTW there's no reason you can't do ubereats or Doordash or grubhub within like...a week. You don't even need a nice car for those...

This is all true except I hate delivering food.

Actually, that is not entirely true. I would love to motorbike through South America but that is going to have a higher risk of me going manic somewhere I don't want to be manic. Not to mention I have like 10 medications and I need to haul around 6 months worth of the stuff? It's similar with teaching English abroad. I have to worry about finding a psychiatrist and also my anti-psychotic (Vraylar) is new and not easy to find. What do I do about health insurance? Of course this bashes into hiems idea of mental illness does not exist but for me that knows that it does and I have been to hell because of it it's just not something I want to risk. I am still adventurous I just need to temper it more than I used to. Obviously, you guys are right to get a job instead of writing on here or worrying about painting or whatever.

I was listening to some Jay Z earlier today he's on a new track:

"We know what hell look like,
Still, it's a hell of a life"

I'm waiting for a helluva life but that is the problem I am waiting.

What does that "Hell of a life" entail anyway?

Mazda Miatas in the spring time with the top off cruisin' to Waffle House for pecan waffles, coffee, and conversation baby.

"When the tops come down the tops come down." – HA! Jay Z

What is the actual level of car or woman that the statement "when the tops come off the tops come off" is true?

Not that that matters for me.

Only way I am seeing breasts "in real life" is if I have exactly 3 good dates with someone and can take her back to somewhere that is not my parent's home.

On November 03 2021 23:35 RiKD wrote: Show nested quote + On November 03 2021 07:33 lostaccount wrote: Good luck rikd I pray 4 u 2 get better. 333 2 ur 555 You used to go to AA? Why did you stop? (or are you just trolling around again?)

ididnt go aa but i did have a drinking problem before but now i can control it pretty well. i pray 2 god 4 help is how i got better

Control it meaning you can drink with control?

So, your saying you can still drink and have fun?

What prayers did you say?

I was told today that the best advice for me is to believe in myself even if I don't yet. I don't know if it is that I don't believe in myself it's more so I have nothing that I believe in.

As a corollary, everyone that are saying I am not great or I can't do this or that should not be listened to and are just projecting.

On November 04 2021 18:39 RiKD wrote: Control it meaning you can drink with control? So, your saying you can still drink and have fun? What prayers did you say?

yea i have learn to discipline my mind, so when i do drink i dont spiral down anymore. but maybe its best u dont drink at all if u cant control it. i have buddies who help me a lot over come my bad habits.

On November 04 2021 18:42 RiKD wrote: I was told today that the best advice for me is to believe in myself even if I don't yet. I don't know if it is that I don't believe in myself it's more so I have nothing that I believe in. As a corollary, everyone that are saying I am not great or I can't do this or that should not be listened to and are just projecting.

you should write it down n stick it on the wall so u see it everyday. believe in myself i can do anything.

i ask god to please help me with my life and get my life back together so i can be a productive person to society again. i said more but i dont recall everything. thats the jist of it.

Part of me believes in the idea that I haven't found it yet. So, I just have to grind to keep some modicum of stability to my life and hope that it is true that I only have to be right once. Delivering food is too shitty and too depressing to grind. I have to believe in myself, not want to kill myself.

But all these times I am forced to spend money; to keep things going; I can't help but wonder, God, I've got to be making this money somewhere at some point?

1st world countries are ez mode.

1 - work in a trade as assistant whle you learn it
2 - get certified
3 - ???
4 - profit.

On November 05 2021 02:15 Baalim wrote: 1st world countries are ez mode. 1 - work in a trade as assistant whle you learn it 2 - get certified 3 - ??? 4 - profit.

Unfortunately given rikds work history, medical history(being involuntarily checked into wards and stuff) even alot of trades are off limits for rikd probably. Not that it matters those jobs are probably "beneath" him LOL...

Its funny though I know this kid from high-school Roger who is a certified dumbass. He is a AOC loving dumb type obviously. He went to Rutgers the local state University and he's been working as a "support specialist" helping with AV stuff like projectors since he was a fucking sophomore in college. The damn dude is my age (34) and his linkedin has him working the same job for...16? years that is so crazy.

Anyway I once ran into him around town and we went to play some billiards. I suggested him try and become an electrician or something and he looked at me as if it were some death sentence LOL. What a dumb. Meanwhile I recently realized you can lookup his salary since he is a state employee and he made $9145 in 2016 LOL wtf...what an idiot.