RiKD   United States. Feb 07 2022 03:58. Posts 8992
I've got the blues but I can't really play the blues (yet).
I wake up at a good hour greeting the morning sun. I run errands. I read a book. I take a nap.
{side note}
- Twitter is the same old shit all the time. I don't need all that information.
- Reddit is just too much. It's too extreme. I don't want to experience life through the lens of reddit.
- Liquidpoker.net - I just keep coming back. Just when I thought I was out it drags me right back in.
I was going to go to Food Not Bombs today and thought about 3 different AA meetings I could go to and didn't end up going to any of them.
I got some good guitar work in.
Is this life? Recover one day to work the next days. Work, eat something, don't get dehydrated, blot out the consciousness with whatever will work to do it all over again the next day?
We are all knuckleheads just flinging poo seeing what has some sort of impact.
Let's say I do learn John Mayer's guitar solo on Frank Ocean's Pyramids and can perform the full vocals and guitar and perhaps even the synthesizer composition... Then what?
The reward is in the journey. We must imagine Sisyphus happy and all that crap... I can sing the blues but I can't make my guitar sing the blues (yet).
It's grey winter out there today. Last night there was a light crescent moon and black grey clouds in the darkest dark of night. Listening to Emma Ruth Rundle driving home with the cream street lights illuminating the road it felt like a perfect moment. I was enmeshed with joy. Now, today, tonight, I sit here discontented with existence. It was as if last night was a dream. The thought of it brings me envy. The only chance to bring me out of this ennui is perhaps soothing hot white tea and more chipping away at the ole guitar or maybe it will be something completely unexpected.
I've got the blues bad and maybe the only remedy is more blues but what if the blues is like benzos in that the more you take the more there is a rebound anxiety? One becomes dependent on the blues.