The way out is through

I should probably have named this thread "Management and Leadership something something something."

The quote "the way out is through" is relevant though because a lot of being a manager and a leader is just going through. Existing. Learning. But, I am curious and books are a way to learn. There is just so much god damn information these days though. What is fact? What is fiction? What is complete bullshit?

It is also the state of LP in 2023 or 2005 for that matter. What the hell do a bunch of nerd poker playing wannabes know about leadership? Anyone that does it's a slim chance they are still posting at this point.

The thing is, I just feel a pressure on me to do a great job. Many of my team are college students just trying to make some money so they can survive to get good grades so they can get the hell up out of retail and I get that. I urge them to. 40 year old mid-management in retail is not what I dreamed of but it's all I got cookin' at the moment. Apart from that they are not so different to me. I just want to have a smooth day and survive. I'm not leading young men into death at Normandy. I am not mentoring people in how to save the world. We are sorting and stocking product to a tedious degree.

And, all this writing I worry about taking it too seriously. It's not that serious. If I can't joke and laugh what am I doing here?

I just want life to be good. I don't mean to raise the bar too high.

I am reading The 7 Habits of Effective People. Seems decent so far. His main point is that Character Ethics are important. That they are more important than Personality Ethics. Which basically means I'd be better off re-reading Kant or Aristotle or even Nietzsche on ethics and eudaimonia than the books on power and manipulation and life hacks. Which I already knew that but that's ok.

I don't think it is part of the job description to teach employees to have a side hustle and I don't feel qualified to do that because I currently don't have a side hustle. The wages are not exactly fair but where I work they aren't completely out of the ballpark to be able to live a life. Anyways, I don't have control over the wages. The CEO and others will decide what they think is enough mostly based on the market and profitability. Basically, they will pay the minimum they think they can get away with based on a number of things probably. Two of them being what other places are paying and if they are retaining good workers.

I don't really know what the fair wages would be for where I work. I know they profited in the millions just off of our store in 2022.

I don't entirely understand you talking about working for a wage. Have you ever worked for a wage?

What it seems you are advocating for is "quiet quitting." Meaning doing the least to barely cover work requirements. Which may get you fired but will almost assuredly never get you promotions. So, you better get working on that side hustle.

Believe me, if you would have told myself at 23, especially 26 that I would end up in middle management in retail at 40 I would consider killing myself. It certainly would have been extreme motivation to change some things in my life at that time. But, it's not that bad. I like the people that I work with and it pays bills so I can attempt to have some semblance of a life.

You working full time with a proper mental illness is quite an achievement. I've mostly dealth with schizophrenics, but I think with bipolar too it could be much worse. So take some pride.

Thank you. You know I've been finding myself approaching verklempt at times in some of the down time. Really, I should be dead. My therapist says I am a miracle. I try not to ever get too proud because we never know what tomorrow will bring. 9 years ago I was in literal hell. For a long time too. Alcoholism and psychosis is a bad combination. To just think that I can have a normal day at work and come home and charge the battery. Sharpen the saw. I know that it is rest for work but rest for work is related to rest for its own sake. I am doing enough stuff that sometimes it is difficult to fit it all in. I think that is more so that I have things to do now versus mindlessly trying to be busy all day or wasting time scrolling. Which I don't like the cup to overflow. Not my style. I think that is a way to burnout too.

I am supposed to credit God's Grace. Which I guess I could in a metaphorical sense. I credit the update on my meds to Vraylar and being more aware after my 2 psych ward visits in a year. I credit AA even though I don't participate often in the meetings or social scene. To be honest, I don't know. There is all sorts of sub-conscious conditioning going on. My parents' genetics. How they raised me. How civilization raised me. It is fair to say I have had a spiritual experience to some degree. Some sort of psychic change. Today, I stopped in to the grocery store to get some bread. In order to get to the check out the fastest I would have to walk through the beer and wine section. I kind of thought to myself: "Don't tempt the fates." But, I decided that that is mostly bollocks and I just wanted to get to the checkout in the most efficient way so I walked through the beer and wine section. Nothing happened besides getting to check out faster but I don't know exactly why that is. I do like to believe metaphorically in the fates as well. My life is deterministic to some degree meaning I don't have 100% control or freedom over what happens. I don't necessarily believe that I am a beach ball getting caught in the wind going from one hand to another at a pool party but I also don't agree with Sartre that we have 100% freedom to act. I do agree that we are the sum of our actions though.