Feb

I wouldn't dismiss spots like that.

Good to see you are getting into the GTO stuff. I think it's a no brainer if you want to win the most money. It's good to have a home base that is almost assuredly winning money in most games then since live poker has so many characters you can adjust from there.

I don't hate giving up on a poker schedule. You want to feel good at the tables. Forcing yourself to play with bad feelings is a recipe for bad things. It is possible to get mentally stronger and improve discipline though. It's a good thing to work on for anyone. Saying nothing matters because you are suffering all of these losses is a terrible attitude.

I am a loser.

I feel like a loser.

I choose to be a loser.

Now, we can argue whether or not it is a choice but I would argue that it is a choice to some degree and that changing your attitude and this entitlement tilt would improve your win-rate dramatically. Another thing: your win-rate for the month is right in the ballpark of what assistant department managers make at shitty retail jobs. How does that make you feel? Are you happy to be sitting with a bunch of degens day in day out and weird hours?

If you get your shit together you could probably make $1/hand +++. That's what like $25/hr+?

Not bad. I don't know if I take that as sitting around a degen lair gambling for my future at weird hours does not appeal to me so much. I'd rather be around people getting something done. The getting something done aspect is probably a little bit over-rated depending on the field. It's close. I just don't like poker enough I don't think although the autonomy it can provide is rather nice. I also don't mind just getting a W2 in the mail and not having to deal with the headaches that professional gambling brings. I suppose it's as easy as just getting a poker tax accountant. They exist. I would bet that you do better in March especially if you find a sweet spot with schedule, GTO based play, limit entitlement tilt and bad attitude.

The only thing im strict about is my 'quality of life' when playing. By that I mean feeling rested with proper nutrition. If I'm feeling groggy and my eyes are burning and I've forced myself to get up then I will become prone to mistakes at the table. So at least if I just gracefully wake up naturally I know I'll hit the room with full mental acuity.

Very good points about having a loser/losing mindset projecting into my play and creating further negative lifestyle creep.

Just to make sure we're clear on entitlement tilt; I dont get tilted when I lose big pots or big hands if I had the worst of it, or at a minimum if I feel opponent had a logical reason to be in the hand. But when someone 5bets me allin pre for 300BB's BTN vs BB and they win with pocket tens and say "wow, I didnt think you had it" I just insta-tilt because I just hate such poor play being rewarded at such high expense. Or allin for 400BB's on a 9T5dd flop and they showdown AA cracking my set because "i put you on a flush draw" even though they were the one who jammed allin on the flop when the pot was barely 100BB's. They just constantly play every RIO spot to the extreme and turn every made hand into a bluff without even realizing it. Jesus fucking christ I want the action but goddamn these guys get it in soooooo bad when it counts. I mean honestly if 3 or 4 hands went my way as a 90% favorite I'd easily have finished the month strong. Make no mistake, when I say tilt I dont mean spewing or doing something stupid at the table. I just mean I have a bunch of pent up anger bottled up inside that I can only assume bleeds into my play somewhat. If anything I probably become weak tight.

Now look at that diatribe I just wrote. It's so entitled, it's so counter-productive to proper poker thinking. It's immature and it's a perfect illustration of entitlement tilt. I just want to win my equity every hand which is obviously not how this game works. That was my december. I ran pure, no bad beats. If I had TPTK then bottom pair didnt suck out. If I had a nutflush then they never hit their boat. Every preflop allin with QQ+ held vs their AQ and 77, and what you get from that is a nice $100/hr profit which is obviously way outside the mean for 2/5 NLHE. Most crushers seem to make around $40/hr so I always knew my winrate was destined to normalize. I just didnt think it would come all at once from a series of bad beats (and bad play. I know I made some mistakes but was really more like trying new things, triple barrel bluffing when the backdoor didnt come in, trying to use a 'playbook' strategy in certain spots, ignoring obvious tells like someone practically drooling while staring at my chips, etc)

As for comparative income working other jobs, I just cant do it. I've honestly felt I've cheated my way through life somehow by coasting under the radar. I've never felt good at any job I do and have never taken pride in any of them, and at this point I just cant go back to that. There's nothing I've ever felt satisfied or happy doing in my life, even from my first job ever. I've always felt miserable and probably suffer from extreme depression, except when I play poker. Poker is the only thing that satiates various OCD tendencies and scratches that 'itch' at the end of the day to feel like I did something. Cant explain it really.

On March 01 2023 07:32 NewbSaibot wrote: The only thing im strict about is my 'quality of life' when playing. By that I mean feeling rested with proper nutrition. If I'm feeling groggy and my eyes are burning and I've forced myself to get up then I will become prone to mistakes at the table. So at least if I just gracefully wake up naturally I know I'll hit the room with full mental acuity.

Yeah, by schedule I meant ideally you play when the games are the best but it's a balancing act not to mess up flow. A doctor once told me it is natural for the body to wake up 1 hour later every day which is about what I was on when I played poker. I would slowly cycle through my sleep although I think my natural state or what I would hold for the longest is being a night owl.

Very good points about having a loser/losing mindset projecting into my play and creating further negative lifestyle creep. Just to make sure we're clear on entitlement tilt; I dont get tilted when I lose big pots or big hands if I had the worst of it, or at a minimum if I feel opponent had a logical reason to be in the hand. But when someone 5bets me allin pre for 300BB's BTN vs BB and they win with pocket tens and say "wow, I didnt think you had it" I just insta-tilt because I just hate such poor play being rewarded at such high expense. Or allin for 400BB's on a 9T5dd flop and they showdown AA cracking my set because "i put you on a flush draw" even though they were the one who jammed allin on the flop when the pot was barely 100BB's. They just constantly play every RIO spot to the extreme and turn every made hand into a bluff without even realizing it. Jesus fucking christ I want the action but goddamn these guys get it in soooooo bad when it counts. I mean honestly if 3 or 4 hands went my way as a 90% favorite I'd easily have finished the month strong. Make no mistake, when I say tilt I dont mean spewing or doing something stupid at the table. I just mean I have a bunch of pent up anger bottled up inside that I can only assume bleeds into my play somewhat. If anything I probably become weak tight.

Bro, that is like the secret of poker. What helped for me and other people I know is playing live and seeing other people tilt in the same way. It looks so sad it kind of snaps me out of my entitlement bullshit. It may be worse in PLO since a 75/25 feels like you have the other guy dead. It could drive someone insane or to drink. I did both ups. But, my case was mostly a case of not taking my medicine after losses in bigger games. That and going all-in on poker. On one hand it allowed me to improve dramatically over a short time but I ended up burning out and losing my mind. I remember one night I turned down sushi with friends which is one of my favorite things to grind and I kept losing and losing and losing and I was tilted I was sitting at this shit chair losing instead of sushi with friends I cursed, scared my neighbor and punched a whole into my money making apparatus. These are reasons to keep the bankroll healthy and putting in work to get rid of the entitlement tilt. Poker is not chess. Be thankful that it isn't or else you wouldn't be able to make a living.

Now look at that diatribe I just wrote. It's so entitled, it's so counter-productive to proper poker thinking. It's immature and it's a perfect illustration of entitlement tilt. I just want to win my equity every hand which is obviously not how this game works. That was my december. I ran pure, no bad beats. If I had TPTK then bottom pair didnt suck out. If I had a nutflush then they never hit their boat. Every preflop allin with QQ+ held vs their AQ and 77, and what you get from that is a nice $100/hr profit which is obviously way outside the mean for 2/5 NLHE. Most crushers seem to make around $40/hr so I always knew my winrate was destined to normalize. I just didnt think it would come all at once from a series of bad beats (and bad play. I know I made some mistakes but was really more like trying new things, triple barrel bluffing when the backdoor didnt come in, trying to use a 'playbook' strategy in certain spots, ignoring obvious tells like someone practically drooling while staring at my chips, etc)

I would bet $60/hr is doable in the right games and if the dealers are good. That would be a lot of exploitive play too by the way. I am never saying to just play a robotic GTO style in juicy live games I just got a lot out of today's GTO tools in just a short period of time.

As for comparative income working other jobs, I just cant do it. I've honestly felt I've cheated my way through life somehow by coasting under the radar. I've never felt good at any job I do and have never taken pride in any of them, and at this point I just cant go back to that. There's nothing I've ever felt satisfied or happy doing in my life, even from my first job ever. I've always felt miserable and probably suffer from extreme depression, except when I play poker. Poker is the only thing that satiates various OCD tendencies and scratches that 'itch' at the end of the day to feel like I did something. Cant explain it really.

I feel you man. If I had $50,000 and access to good live games I'd certainly think about it. Although poker too made me miserable. I think I have somehow found a sweet spot that I am generally not miserable doing what I am doing now. Of course, I have just been promoted to a new position. We'll see if it lasts.

I also think in your spot it helps to be introverted. All these years I don't know if I am introverted or extroverted. I'm probably close to 50% each. Where people energize me to a point but I also like my alone time too. Live poker helps with that but I think it's crucial for everyone including introverts to get some social connection in. You are trying to manipulate everyone at the table to win their gold. It's not a true social connection like I would get going to a nice sushi place with friends.

I would bet $60/hr is doable in the right games and if the dealers are good. That would be a lot of exploitive play too by the way. I am never saying to just play a robotic GTO style in juicy live games I just got a lot out of today's GTO tools in just a short period of time.

So there's one crusher im close with who let me see his stats once I returned to the scene. Last year he pulled 110k at 2/5 exclusively to show me making 6 figs is possible. Then the last couple of months he surged to $120/hr over 400 hours at 2/5. lulwut? He was just trying to encourage me since I was talking about making 6k/month as having a good month meanwhile he's making 25k/month. I dont know what his true wr is since he has also expressed discussing strategy and wr's like this to be an obvious no-no since i'm the competition and I respect that.

I also think in your spot it helps to be introverted. All these years I don't know if I am introverted or extroverted. I'm probably close to 50% each. Where people energize me to a point but I also like my alone time too.

Pretty much describes me to a T. I'm pretty social at the tables, hopefully not in an annoying way. I seem to be liked by both players and dealers. But I never want to hang out with anyone outside of 'work'. I just want to go home, watch some Prime, have a beer and make dinner and eat alone. I never have any interest to meet people up later. I kinda feel like I dont have that much spare time as odd as it sounds. Eat/Sleep/Poker/repeat, even though I dont even put in that many hours. With what little spare time I'm willing to donate I prefer to meet girls through online dating apps and just spend all my time with them. I'm kinda codependent on relationships to feel happy.

On March 02 2023 15:04 NewbSaibot wrote: Show nested quote + I would bet $60/hr is doable in the right games and if the dealers are good. That would be a lot of exploitive play too by the way. I am never saying to just play a robotic GTO style in juicy live games I just got a lot out of today's GTO tools in just a short period of time. So there's one crusher im close with who let me see his stats once I returned to the scene. Last year he pulled 110k at 2/5 exclusively to show me making 6 figs is possible. Then the last couple of months he surged to $120/hr over 400 hours at 2/5. lulwut? He was just trying to encourage me since I was talking about making 6k/month as having a good month meanwhile he's making 25k/month. I dont know what his true wr is since he has also expressed discussing strategy and wr's like this to be an obvious no-no since i'm the competition and I respect that.   I also think in your spot it helps to be introverted. All these years I don't know if I am introverted or extroverted. I'm probably close to 50% each. Where people energize me to a point but I also like my alone time too. Pretty much describes me to a T. I'm pretty social at the tables, hopefully not in an annoying way. I seem to be liked by both players and dealers. But I never want to hang out with anyone outside of 'work'. I just want to go home, watch some Prime, have a beer and make dinner and eat alone. I never have any interest to meet people up later. I kinda feel like I dont have that much spare time as odd as it sounds. Eat/Sleep/Poker/repeat, even though I dont even put in that many hours. With what little spare time I'm willing to donate I prefer to meet girls through online dating apps and just spend all my time with them. I'm kinda codependent on relationships to feel happy.

Do I think it's possible someone could make $4/hand at 2/5? Yeah, I do think it's possible especially over a small'ish sample. The game would have to be deep though and probably straddled and again the dealers would have to be good.

I actually don't think it's bad or unnatural to have to be in a relationship to be happy. Co-dependence is only bad if the relationship is one-sided, emotionally destructive, and/or abusive. A good relationship is the most sure fire way to be happy. Everything else is kind of a short term band-aid. It's good times with friend(s) and/or healthy relationship. Maybe meditation. Exercise surely. Gratitude feels corny. Oh, and sleep is a big one too. What else is there? Well, I like playing the guitar and singing. Then there is flow states and progress at meaningful projects. Painting. Cooking. Sex. Novelty. Nostalgia. Outplaying someone in a big pot and stacking chips is fun too. What a rush. There is a lot and probably many more.