what an asshole, mspaint piece, CONTEST

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Daut

United States. May 13 2007 22:37. Posts 8955

Being at home always reminds me that I'm sort of an asshole. I went over to my friends house today and three of us sat around with his dad who is the most hilarous person of all time and just told stories. I know im a pretty nice guy but I always say the most assholish things of all time. Two stories that I forgot about but came up tonight:

The first:
So I'm in the airport in vegas and you have to take a little train from where you get off the plane to the baggage claim area. So I walk on the little tram and its totally packed, so I squeeze into a little area and hold on to the bar in the center so I dont fall over like a jackass.

Right before the door closes this smoking hot girl walks on the tram and squeezes into a little area, but she doesnt have anything to hold on to. Before saying something I just have to check her out because I cant take my eyes off her body. she obviously sees me because im probably gawking, and i realize it would be gentlemanly to help her out, so i speak up and say "So you want some pole?"

she was about 2 seconds away from punching me in the face but i think she realized what I meant. However, she probably thought i was creepy and declined my invitation to hang out on the bar. smooth operator huh?

second story:
My last day at school, 6 of us go out to a waffle shop to get some breakfast. On my right is georger, who is a really big dude, like 6'1 330, and he obviously orders a ton of food. On my left is steve, who is a pretty funny guy, but is basically a meathead, and when the food arrives, he makes some comment about how much georger ordered, I wish I remembered what it exactly cause it was pretty funny.

Georger replies "yeah yeah, blow me". The waitress was standing next to him and probably felt a little uncomfortable, but was cool enough to make a funny retort saying "oh not here, maybe later". she didnt really mean it, but it was a nice little funny moment. So asshole me goes "OH SWEET GEORGERS GETTING A BJ LATER". I dont think she really found that funny but whatever it was ok she let it slide.

so we finish eating, and on the other side of the table, my buddy rhett, who is extremely hungover, has his head down on the table and is just looking like total shit. so I go "hey i know what will make you feel better, you want me to get the waitress to blow you instead of georger?"

Immediately after I say that I see a look of horror come across my 3 friends on the other side of the table. the waitress was standing over my right shoulder ready to ask us if we wanted anything else or wanted the check. she obviously heard me and was obviously not pleased about it. oops.

oh well, i heard some good stories on their part too, but mine were doozies.

and not to leave you guys sitting there with a woody, ill finish you off. i have a picture i drew today. there was a contest in the pocketfives off topic forum to photoshop a picture of actionjeff on a swing hanging out with gobboboy.

well, as we all know I am the mike matusow of computer drawing, I'm not really the most talented guy around but I definitely have the most heart. Photoshop is for the professionals who know what theyre doing, mspaint is for the guys who are all heart.

i would have liked to do some more work on it, but i didnt really play magic and am really bad at this lol.

and now a contest. take a picture you find of me online and put it in a magic card. post the picture and your name on stars in a comment on this post, and the best one gets 50 bucks. ill be crossposting this on LP/cardrunners, so ill choose the best one within the next few days.

1 votes

NewbSaibot: 18 TIMES THE SPEED OF LIGHT. Because FUCK YOU, Daut

SKoT United States. May 13 2007 22:40. Posts 1768

what a dick

that poor waitress

goodguysm United States. May 13 2007 23:17. Posts 1051

stars: goodguysm

EDIT: Forgot an important part!

Last edit: 13/05/2007 23:18

EmKey Poland. May 13 2007 23:42. Posts 643

first one is funny, second one is kinda assholish

redefining weak/tight since 2006

Baalim Mexico. May 14 2007 01:44. Posts 34262

RAPEX lol

Ex-PokerStars Team Pro Online

Forrest Gump Argentina. May 14 2007 05:03. Posts 1217

by Mspaint obv
stars account: maurito_k

ADZ124: why do people put pictures of their child in stars.. its like please help feed my child im a fish i cant play?

Last edit: 14/05/2007 05:06

Heath_at_Uk1 United States. May 14 2007 14:05. Posts 171

Hey just wanted to say that your hilarious, and that I've been reading your blog for awhile but have never posted. Heres my funny?(hopefully) mspaint of you.

Stars name is: Heath_at_UK

Last edit: 14/05/2007 14:07