50NL has been an emotional rollercoaster ride for me, with tilt inducement around every bend. I ran pretty good earlier in the week and got up to a bankroll of nearly $2200, but have since gone through crazy swings and ended up going nowhere fast. I know I'm capable of beating this level for a whole lot more than 2 ptbb/100, but tilt control and discipline are continuing to be monumental leaks for me. I'm getting better at folding big pairs in bad spots, recognising how board texture should affect my decisions, and just reading people in general, but when the flush card hits the river after I pot it twice with an overpair, and they min-raise my blocker river bet, I invariably either fold and go on tilt at my bad luck or call and go on tilt at my bad play. I know they made two mistakes by calling pot-sized bets on a draw, and I'm raking in the Sklansky Bucks, but I still tilt. Then I spew. I think everybody that raises me is pushing me around and that I can push everybody off their hand. I'm getting a little better at just shutting down Stars when I feel a big tilt session going on (so I lose 3 BIs instead of 16), but it's still affecting my winrate in a big way.
95% of players at 50NL play their hands ridiculously face-up, and when I'm playing well, I can read their souls with suprising ease. I can call people down on three streets with A hi because I know they're FOS, or I can fold a pretty strong boat because I put my opponent on quads (he was nice enough to show), but when I get c/r on a dry flop by a fullstack while holding AA or KK, it does something to my brain, and I lose all logic and sense. And it's always a set. Always. Even on drawy boards, it's a set. But I convince myself that the guy with 0.5 AF is pulling a move or that he has to have TPTK or similar, and I shove. And it's always a set. So I try "flatting and re-evaluating on the turn" and they always pot it, and now I'm in the exact same spot except now the pot's a bit bigger and my decision means more. And it's still always a set. Or I fold and I wonder if that WAS the one time my opponent was bluffing in his entire life.
So I've decided to actually do something about it. I've cashed out half my roll on Stars, which I've done for two reasons: 1) to discourage myself not to move up to 100NL and 2) to actually enjoy the fruits of poker. $1000 is only about €650 (seriously, you people need to do something about your currency), but it should allow me to buy some nice Christmas presents for some friends and family, and maybe something for myself. I've also self-excluded myself from Stars for 24 hours to take a break from playing. Most of my friends are in college (I technically still am too, but I don't actually do anything. I already have a degree so I don't really care about this one all that much. It's really just a way for me to get free trips abroad with the college's debating society), and it's exam time, so with everyone busy, I've had a lot of free time, and I've found myself pretty much playing poker full-time every day for about two weeks solid (I've played 52K hands in that time, which is about as much as I played for the previous two months). And it's certainly not helped the situation. So a day off sounds like a good idea, and hopefully it'll refresh me.
I haven't decided yet if I'll take tomorrow off poker completely, or maybe spend a little time reviewing my play or watching some videos from other players. When I get back to poker, I think I need to review the amount of tables I play. I thought 8 tables worked for me, but have discovered that it gives me enough time to consider more advanced plays, but not enough time to consider them properly, leading to mistakes and spew. Thus, I have to decide to either drop to 4 tables and really focus on player reading etc., or move back up to 12 and grind robotically. One will make me a better player, but the other will probably make me more money, in the short-term at least.
Wow, this was long. Apologies for that. See you on the tables tomorrow night, or maybe Monday.
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