Analyze and Amalgamate

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Benzooor United States. Apr 11 2008 23:50. Posts 630

Sorry to spam with many blog posts.

This one is probably the most important one I've ever written so if you could read it and give me feedback I would greatly appreciate it.

So I'm sitting here with my Budweiser and my Poore Brother's Jalapeno chips (which are so delicious), trying to internalize the fall from grace I've had over the last week. I really rode the roller coaster from playing my absolute A game and moving up to a limit I had been dreaming of reaching for a long time to degenerate tilting of all of that hard work. I lost two entire month's pay at my job (~5k) within a week, playing the game I love. I don't care to share PT graph / stats because what's the point?

Right now I've got to focus on what I've learned from this, and what I can take out of it. I need to analyze and amalgamate my lessons and experiences into further honing my game and preventing this in the future. I'd like to do some of that here in the open air of my LP blog.

On the way up the roller coaster, I learned some very important things, and applied them towards success. They included the following:

1) Playing on your schedule, on your time, and quitting whenever necessary, pays off.
2) Playing with a safe bankroll, at a limit you are comfortable with, greatly increases your confidence and your resistance to tilt.
3) Keeping yourself disciplined is something to be proud of, and it really does work.
4) I can beat 200NL. I definitely wasn't crushing it, but I felt like it was the perfect level for me and I feel while I was not someone to avoid, I was not a fish at the tables. I'm sure some LPers would say the contrary, but I believe this to be true 100%. And it is a good thing, because it gives me confidence that eventually I will be playing and beating the higher stakes games. I have no doubt in my intelligence or ability.

And on the way down I learned some very important things as well:

1) No matter how well you are doing, or how big your bankroll seems, things can come crashing down upon you much more quickly than you think.
2) I am 100% responsible for all my losses. This was not a result of running bad. This was not getting coolered multiple times over and over and over again. This was me, losing emotional control, losing mental control, and I am the only one to blame.
3) I am not nearly as disciplined as I thought I was.
4) I must crush the degenerate within me if I am ever going to succeed in this game.

I just spent the last hour or two having a very good discussion with a 200NL player I met who happens to live just a few miles away. I went through everything in my game and what I think all of my problems are that are keeping me from succeeding, and it definitely helped to be self-analytical to a total stranger. He was also able to give me some very helpful tips to improve my mental and emotional control. One major thing I took away from it is that having people to discuss hands with is invaluable, and to be able to talk with people that actually understand what's going on is invaluable as well.

I've identified some major leaks within my game that I am going to try to address. They are as follows:

1) Lack of Patience. I am very impatient. Sometimes I forget that poker is dealing with actual money, and feel almost as if it's a video game. I'm just trying to increase my score to get to the next level and get better at the game. I have spent way too much time pipe dreaming about moving up to new stakes.

What I need to do is shift my focus from increasing my BR and moving up stakes to beating my current level as efficiently and completely as possible. Even when I'm playing 50NL, I need to not be focusing on reaching a certain level so I can play 100NL, but on beating 50NL at the best rate possible, and playing perfect poker. I experienced a little bit of what this could be like at 200NL, and I feel that in the 20k hands or so that I played there, my 6max game vastly improved.

2) Lack of Discipline. This is tied into patience but is important in it's own right. As is obvious to anyone following my fall from grace, lack of discipline has completely and utterly destroyed me. I broke all of the rules that put me where I was and as it was, they were the floor that supported me and when disregarded, naturally I fell. The problem is that this is not the first time I have broken the rules. There have been countless small fudges, gambling when drunk, etc, that have not turned out poorly. In fact, some of my great BR boosts were when I broke the rules. But the thing is, the rules exist for a reason.

I created the rules and principles for myself because they are what I believe will make me a successful winning player. They have proven themselves with the self-explaining fact that when followed, I made money, and when disregarded, I lost large amounts of it.

3) Lack of Regularity. Between working 40 hours a week and having a serious relationship with my girlfriend, I really don't have much time for poker. Often I found myself trying to squeeze in a session when I had time, or putting things off so that I could play one. What I need is to develop a routine, a soft schedule, guidelines for when it is the most +EV in my life to be playing online poker. I work 10 hour shifts, Wednesday-Saturday, and when I'm off I am generally pretty tired. It is not a good idea for me to be playing unless I feel like my mind is sharp. On Sunday I usually spend all day with my Girlfriend as it's the only day we have off together. This is not a good day to play any sort of session.

Monday and Tuesday are my bread and butter. My Girlfriend works and I have the whole day to myself. This is when I can really put in some hands, and do so in the right frame of mind and do so profitably. I need to develop some kind of routine as to when I wake up, when I play, making sure to take breaks, etc. Doing so will increase my profits by limiting variance in my own mental/physical/emotional state while playing.

One thing the 200NL reg told me that I am really going to try to apply is to not expect anything when starting a session. I have noticed in my own personal experience that when I play the first session of the day, usually around 9-10am on my days off, I play very well, but I am not playing to try to make money, I am playing to play poker, and to play well. If I go into a session expecting to make 500$ or $1k today, or to chase my losses and come back to even, my focus will not be in the right place. It must be on the hand(s) in play and only the hand(s) in play.

I am also going to work on developing a pre-session routine. I have been trying to get in shape and my earlier idea of getting a good run and shower in before starting my session for the day would be very +EV as it wakes the body and mind up and gets the juices flowing. I also am going to re-iterate certain points before even opening the tables. I will get myself set, ready, and prepared for what is going to happen. The last part of the pre-session routine will be table selection, something that has been stressed by the best of the best for a very long time.

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I'll go ahead and end this now, but I'm very glad I took the time to sit here and type it all out. I feel good. I feel purified. Yes, I've just lost a lot of money and hard work, but I feel good. If I can take this and turn it around into a positive experience I will be all the stronger. That which doesn't kill me...

Please let me know what you think of all this (if you actually read it) by posting a comment or two. I would really appreciate it. Even if it's just to tell me I'm an idiot.

0 votes

Loco Canada. Apr 12 2008 00:39. Posts 20968

been there, gl rebuilding

fuck I should just sell some of my Pokemon cards, if no one stakes that is what I will have to do - lostaccount

ggplz Sweden. Apr 12 2008 00:56. Posts 16784

if poker is dangerous to them i would rank sports betting as a Kodiak grizzly bear who smells blood after you just threw a javelin into his cub - RaiNKhAN

Moffa United States. Apr 12 2008 00:59. Posts 617

Stick to your guns and keep the chin up. Write something motivational on a piece of paper and look at it everyday to remind you. Pretty soon you'll be in a rythm and much happier.

Dangerous, but worth the risk.