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Out-donking the donk |
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I stare glumly at my hole cards: AA. Over the last 15,000 hands, my AA has lost money. I go all in PF vs some donk with 35s. By the river, his 35s has transformed into 3 5s. I go all in PF vs some donk. 30 seconds later, the place looks like a hedonistic Bangkok brothel - two queens lying face up on the table and another pair of queens in a donkey's hole.
Out of a sense of duty I raise. Some donk calls. The flop is 2c7c3h. I bet. Donk min raises. I shove. Donk calls. The extreme stress of the situation causes my hyperactive imagination to take over.
I am no longer in my study. Instead, I am sitting across from the donk in a casino with an audience of a hundred people.
The turn is the king of clubs.
The river is the ten of clubs.
The goddamned donk turns over 2s3s! The audience gasps and I catch the words "donk" and "moron" being bandied around.
"The donk has 2 pair, 2s and 3s," announces the dealer.
"Wait!" I cry, "I have a pair of aces!"
"Donk!" says the donk. "My 2 pair beats your pair of aces all day everyday."
"Yes. Unless, of course, one of those aces happens to be..." I pause for dramatic effect. "The ace of clubs!"
The audience gasps and bursts into applause. The men drink to my health. The women throw their underwear at me. Overwhelmed by my awesomeness, a tall, blonde Russian chick slides under the table and gives me a blowjob.
"Donk!" screams the donk, furiously. "I had two pair! You had a runner runner flush draw! If I had turned my hand face up, you would never have shoved. You violated the Fundamental Theorem of Poker on the flop!"
"Yes, but I violated your ass on the river."
The moment passes. I am back in my study, watching the chips slide to me on my monitor. The only witnesses to my triumph are my dog and my cat.
"Meow?" says the cat.
"Yes, my furry friends. Let the donks beware, for MY LUCK HAS RETURNED!!!!"
Now running at 12PTBB/100 over the last 1,200 hands. Hopefully it'll get even better.
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Gumster Sweden. Apr 22 2008 07:58. Posts 2291 | | | |
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| Do not push the river, it will flow by itself. - Polish proverb | |
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great read!
grats on luck |
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| Mig hefur alltaf langað til að vitna í sjálfan mig - Ég sjálfur | |
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Malmis Sweden. Apr 22 2008 09:54. Posts 166 | | | |
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Sennpu Canada. Apr 22 2008 09:56. Posts 1960 | | | |
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| then she ask me my qualities n bad qualities. so i tell her truth and she kinda laugh at me lol. then i ask her for hers and she gtg. i think it going ok. -Floofy | |
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fenner Australia. Apr 24 2008 06:02. Posts 2188 | | | |
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