Wam Bam Thankya Mam (Storytime)

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k2o4 United States. May 05 2008 16:09. Posts 4803

Hey guys, time for another short story. I just re-read this and had a good laugh. Ah the crazy things kids do...

Wam Bam Thankya Mama
Regular high school was too hard for my circle of friends. You could call us the dropouts. It would be fitting, and I won’t fight it, though I don’t totally agree. We found a way to work the system. There was an alternative high school called Quest that we used as a way to pass our high school years. It was private, it cost money, and you didn’t work. It was a packet system. Each chapter in the text book was photocopied and put into a packet. The teacher would give you a packet; you would read it and answer the questions at the end, and bam you were done with a chapter.

There were tricks. Certain packets had all the answers in bold, or people had highlighted them from other uses. We would just copy from the book. I didn’t learn crap.

When we did work we copied, but mostly we didn’t work. We talked. Every kid had a personal teacher to track them. Each teacher had a personal room, about the size of a small conference room. Our teacher was Kristin, and every day we went to our small room and sat. Kristin didn’t care if we worked, so we didn’t. She usually just wanted us to play pictionary with her. Or Simpson’s trivia. Most the time my friends and I would get stoned, go into the room, sit for an hour, play some pictionary, and leave to smoke more and get lunch. We always said we were coming back, but never did. I didn’t smoke though; I was past the weed smoking point in my life.

Our group consisted of about 5 guys. All lazy, all funny, all potheads cept me. Still, they dressed well, weren’t slobs or dirty. We tried to stay classy.

Kristin was a bigger woman, athletically built. She had sex with our older friends. Kristin was 25. We would always joke about having to bone her to be able to graduate. None of us wanted to, but I thought if that’s all I gotta do to graduate, I’m fine with it. Better than school work.

The rest of the kids attending the school didn’t fit with us. In the regular high school we were the good looking assholes that were failures, but still looked good (which gets you places in this world) and were looked up to. Every other kid at Quest had been a reject in the main high school. Now we were the outcasts, the minority, but we still walked around like we owned them and everything on the damn earth.

Our room was our room, and some days we would be invaded by the other kids. We called them the aliens. If we walked into our room and there were other kids in there, we would start screaming “OAT, OAT!!” meaning Operation Alien Takeover. If our room got invaded, we left and didn’t attend school that day. Our teacher got mad, but we told her to kick the other kids or lose us. We were lost.

One thing that I will always love about my friends of those years was how they could take things that most people considered dirty, nasty, or would be ashamed to admit, and brag about it. They could turn it into a game, or a passage of rights. Bragging rights.

John told us a story one day, one of our types of stories. He was talking about driving up to the mountains to snowboard. He went by himself, and told us how boring the ride was, how the car didn’t have heating, how shitty the weather was.

“it sucked. BUT, I got to jerk off in the woods!”

“Hell yea!!” said mike

“you stud” replied Connor

“shit man that’s great, what was it like?!?!” I asked

“well, it was so great. I was in some woods that were in between two runs, and I just pulled it out and started wanking. I could see people shooting down on either side of me, skiing and boarding, and I was just pullin away at my sausage. It was big time fun to the max.”

Kristin had been reading something, but then she looked up. “Are you messing with me? Are you talking about jerking off in the woods on a ski slope? You guys are the biggest losers. Seriously, you do risky things like that with OTHER PEOPLE, not by yourself!”

And we were crushed. We thought it was great, John jerked off in the woods. Maybe we were losers, but still, we thought it was great. But she had a point; you are supposed to do that with someone else.

Her outburst stopped me from telling my story about hiking in the mountains one time, and getting a few minutes ahead of the group. I took the chance to pull out my wanker and wank it, while hiking, in the woods, with the rest of the posse behind me. I stopped and came in the bushes. Now that was great. I didn’t tell the story though, because we now had a critic amongst us. But, the critic didn’t stop Marshall from bragging.

“john, remember that time you, me and mike all jerked off in my neighbors yard? We got back all drunk that night and split up. Remember?”

“oh yeah, that was big time awesome!”

“yea, we all went to different yards and jerked it. The goal was to try and find a pet, like a cat or a dog, and shoot your load on its head. Then when they pet it later it’s all sticky!”

We laughed at that. Kristin looked down at us for it.

Later that day, after a strong game of pictionary and losing to John in chess, sitting in our tiny room without a single alien amongst us, a short chunky girl with red hair, a pale face, and a sick body came in. Like usual, we got quiet and looked at her. She talked to our teacher, told her about just getting out of rehab. She had just kicked a coke addiction or something extreme. Not weed or alcohol, so I consider it extreme. But she’s back now, yea! and she’s going to work and graduate!

The entire time I was watching this exchange she kept looking at me. Giving me these glances.

She left and I got thirsty, and I left our safe haven of a room and went for a soda. Of course, I was to be attacked by aliens. Then through the crowd emerged this red head, Valerie, the girl who had kicked the coke. Right up to me she walked, right into my face, rubbing her tits on me and beginning to talk.

“have we met before, you look so familiar”

“well I saw u in Kristin’s room earlier”

“no, before that. What’s your name?”

“I’m Tony.” I opened my soda, and started to walk away. She got back in front of me.

“hi, I’m Valerie, you have beautiful eyes.”

“thanks.”

“you work out don’t you, I can tell. You have such a built body.”

She rubbed her hand on my chest.

“you look like you could be a marine. I know, cause my brother is a marine.”

I had been thinking of joining the marines. I had nothing else going for me.

Her hand didn’t leave my chest, it just sat there and rubbed my pecks. She was ugly, and fat, but I still was getting hard, and she was hitting on me hard, and I was having a hard time trying to reject her. Too much hard.

“I was thinking about joining the marines.”

“oh you would be great. Guys in uniform are so sexy.”

“yea, I gotta go do some work.” What a lie that was, I never do work.

“ok, but wait. Here’s my number. Call me sometime ok?”

“sure”

and off I went back to my room, hoping none of my friends had seen our exchange. As disgusted and embarrassed as I was to be seen with her, I had still enjoyed it. She was so up front, so forceful, so willing to give me her hole. I wished that the good looking girls did that to me. But I couldn’t hit on this beast in public. If I did lay with her no one could know. So I pretended nothing happened, and played more chess and drank my soda.

For some reason I ended up staying till school actually ended that day. My friends were gone, and it was just me and Kristin talking and joking in our room. Then in came Valerie, alone, asking Kristin for a ride home. Kristin volunteered me as a driver. I saw it all working out. I’m driving her home. She wants me to drive her home, maybe even to hit a home run. And I wanted to hit it with a wooden bat, I wanted to get laid, I wanted it! But I didn’t want what came with it. I didn’t want her around, she was weird, a coke slut, and my friends, oh the ridicule. I wanted both and I wanted none, but in the end it’s usually the brain between my legs that makes the big decisions for me

I decided to be a nice guy and give her a ride.

We walked out to my car, and I told myself I would not hit on her. I would not go after her; I wouldn’t make a move on her. So we made our way through the lot.

85’ Toyota corolla, my beauty car, sat there looking brown shit colored and we sat inside.

“it’s not much, but I did pay for it myself, unlike those other rich high school kids driving bmw’s that their moms bought them”

“oh I think this car is hot. And i think it’s sexy when a guy pays for it himself.”

She was hitting on me so hard. Anyone who called my car hot was lying to get something from me. She wanted my stiffy. There was just no denying it.

The drive went and she asked me questions. I told her things about myself, and everything I told her was amazing. That’s how she acted. Anything I had ever done was the greatest thing ever. I could say anything and it would be great. I could tell her I took a shit and didn’t wipe and she would reply “oh wow, that’ so hot and sexy. You are amazing!”

Eventually we got to the house and I pulled up in front of it. I noticed a no parking sign right where I was parked. I tried to use this as a getaway.

“ok, nice to meet you.”

“thanks for the ride.” She just sat there

“ok, well, I have to go. It’s no parking here”

“my mom doesn’t get home for another hour, and you have beautiful eyes. Come here, let me look at your eyes.” I let her look. She moved in and kissed me. I kissed back.

“you taste good too” and her hand went down to my crotch “and wow, you feel good, hard and good”

“yea, well, it’s no parking, I should go.”

“oh they never check this part of town.” I could see why, it was a crappy neighborhood.

“come in for 15 minutes. I want to show you my room.”

She rubbed my crotch and I had no choice but to agree. I mean, she was manipulating my brain with her hand! Cheater!

We entered her house and went right into the living room. She pointed to the couch, “that’s my bed. I’m staying in here right now”

I wasn’t very impressed.

I knew what she was after, but I didn’t want to give it to her. But I did want to, it was hard and wanting. I decided that if she asked me for sex, I would agree. Sex is sex, I can close my eyes. If she offers head I will say no. You can’t really brag about head, but every single one counts when your building your list of sexual conquests. I am always trying to expand that list.

She sat me down on the couch, pulled my head in and started kissing me. She pulled her pants down, her panties down, and guided my hand up there. I did my job, and she started pulling my pants down, all on top of her piles of clothes and old potato chip bags with shit stained panties on the couch and floor.

“you have a condom?”

yea I did, but it was in the car, in the glove box.

“yea, it’s in the car, in the glove box.”

Out the door with pulled up unbuttoned pants held up by one hand and into the glove compartment I went. I thought about just leaving, getting out of there. She was sick, fat, and my hand reeked from fingering her. It was the nastiest pussy I had ever smelt. I decided to stay though, telling myself another number on the list. One more on the list, one more on the list. You gotta build the house one brick at a time, and some bricks are worse than others! One more on the list!

Grabbed the condom, turned to head back, thought I saw a cop coming down the street. Then I realized it was one of those rent a cops, so I headed back inside.

She was on the couch, and I skipped the foreplay. This wasn’t a foreplay situation, this was strictly numbers. We started up, me on top, trying to get into the hole which was surrounded by flab. Not the flaps, but flab’s of fat. We got going and she moaned and talked dirty. “you feel so good inside me, oh god Tony, yes!” her dirty talking turned me on and maybe 3 minutes went by of pumping and she said “I’m looking for a friend, a sex friend, and I want you to be it. You feel so good inside me, be my sex buddy”

“sure” I said and I knew I was going to cum. It was building, and then the phone started ringing. I came, and it rang again. I pulled out, told her to go get the phone. I thanked the sex gods for this interruption. I didn’t want to cum and then have to keep boning her with a limp dick. She went to answer the phone, and I slid the condom off, throwing it on the couch (her bed). I pulled my pants up and while she was in the other room. I moved towards the door and saw her on the phone, her back turned to me. I slipped out the door. I hustled to my car, but before I got in I heard her at the door, calling for me.

“Tony, where you going?!? We still have plenty of time!”

I just got in and started the car, peeled out quickly. As I drove off I could smell the stink of her pussy flowing off of me. It was horrible, disgusting and horrible. I felt like I might puke. I rolled down the windows and stuck my head out for fresh air. I decided to take a shower as soon as I got home. Then I noticed something on my windshield under the windshield wiper. I reached my hand out and pulled it in. A parking ticket for 30 dollars. That piece of ass just cost me 30 dollars, and I don’t think I could say that it was worth it. Actually, it was far from worth it. But I laughed. I felt it was a worthy punishment for sexing up such a nasty thing.

When I got home I showered and washed my hand with the dove soap. Washed it twice, three times, four. When I went to bed that night, every time that hand got near my face I woke up from the smell, scrunching my nose shut.

Sometimes, I realized, the numbers just ain’t worth it.

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Thanks for reading. Be sure to leave a comment on your way out ^^

Oh, if you liked this here are the links to the other stories I've blogged so far:

MoneyMan

Lying

Hiding in the Closet