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GOD I can't take this anymore.. |
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PanoRaMa United States. Jul 08 2008 04:45. Posts 1655 | | |
I've never been so close to quitting poker than now. I really don't know how this is happening. Emo post incoming.
My July
Since May
I only have hands since May because I don't have hands prior to that on this computer. If I were to check though I'd imagine the 2/4 shit stretch to be even longer (150k hands ish). Note pics are in bb/100 not ptbb (halve the figure to make it into ptbb).
For 4 months I've just been running like dog shit. I've constantly re-evaluated my game. I talk poker with some of the best players in the world, my coach is one of the greatest players to play this game, etc etc. I just really can't figure out why I can't seem to win anymore. I could easily be wrong, and maybe I'm just spouting crazy talk, but I honestly felt at one point I was good enough to be a 5/10 grinder (not a great feat by any means though) - only that I could never build a 50bi roll because of cash outs and because I could never run hot and have the 20k month I've always wanted. Sure I'll have a session where I'd run good, say maybe a 5k stretch. But it's always sandwiched inbetween huge stretches of running like trash. Almost every form of running bad that can be listed is happening to me: 1 outers, set over sets, nonstop flip lose stretches, overpair vs overpair ai pf coolers, always the 2nd best vs the pure nuts, etc. It's really, really astounding to me how so much of this shit can happen. It's not even "the shortterm" anymore because I've been complaining about the same issues since like February or March now.
Overall since coming to Stars I'm down at least 7k there in mostly 1/2. One fucking two. The limit I decided that 8ptbb/100 was sustainable at, my stomping grounds. It's not as if the players have gotten better, sure there's less fish, but the games are filled with so many tagfish it's amazing. Players with no concept of game theory, of hand reading, of anything, but manage to win flips and cooler and have hands hold. Effectively, that's what it comes down to in order to sustain a 5ptbb winrate for these players it seems.
I've devoted the past 6 months to sharpening my abilities of playing a loose, aggressive poker style, now I'm starting to have second thoughts maybe I should just move back to FTP and grind 16 tables playing 16/12. It seems to work for those nits.
What can I do?
Edit: At the end of my March, I posted in my blog where I had the first losing month of my life. Ket replied with some encouraging words and I'd like to think they help, although this feels completely different than my March now. I really like to read it, so if you're interested I pasted it below.
+ Show Spoiler +
On April 01 2008 22:25 Ket wrote:
yeah respect for making posts like this. usually ppl just make poker related blog posts right after a stretch where theyve done really well, to show off. not to say you shouldnt in times like this make an effort to question and reassess your game thoroughly (because you def should and its a healthy pitstop on the road to improvement instead of refusing to admit any chance it could be anything other than running bad), but these sort of stretches definitely happen to everyone and it can definitely even be a lot worse. ive had 3 100k hand breakeven stretches in my career, i cant claim to have been playing my best through them but i dont think anyone can realistically claim to play as well when theyre losing as they will when theyre winning. running bad and playing bad often go hand in hand and can start to form vicious cycles. but yeah what youre going through now is tough and always toughest the first time it happens to you, but if youre still grinding this time next year youll finally realise its a part of playing this game and how you deal with it is a big part of being a poker player, and if you pass the test of dealing with it well (which is a huge test many if not most poker players fail) then youll find every time you go on stretches like this they become a little less severe and drastic and you tiltspew a little less during them each time they come. also youll feel less and less invincible during the periods when youre winning (which is definitely a very good thing)
as this is unlike anything youve gone through so far in your poker 'career', consider this a rite of passage. and if you can successfully get through it and bounce back to reach new heights you can consider yourself part of the very small group that know what it means to rise up and be successful over the long haul (at games and stakes worth being successful in).
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| http://panorama.liquidpoker.net | Last edit: 08/07/2008 04:50 |
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The72o Zimbabwe. Jul 08 2008 05:23. Posts 6112 | | |
so you are still a 2ptbb winner over medium size sample and want to quit?
R U SRS? |
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| A Hard Way to Make an Easy Living | |
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EvilSky  Czech Republic. Jul 08 2008 05:37. Posts 8918 | | |
lol, if you have a bad stretch and still winning you should be happy. You probably have too high expectations and should try to understand the game better. |
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TianYuan Korea (South). Jul 08 2008 05:48. Posts 6817 | | |
Maybe take a break and get your head straight :0
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jase Australia. Jul 08 2008 07:05. Posts 1604 | | |
I can't imagine how mentally tough that must be man.
But from reading previous blogs it's apparent that you are a winning player, and not just marginally. This is just how the game operates and I really like Ket's input.
You can come out on top of this =D |
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4Kingell United Kingdom. Jul 08 2008 10:08. Posts 1453 | | |
I think Ket's comments are great and still stand - thanks for posting them.
I am not talking from a position of strength here in terms of being a long term winning player (I am not) and certainly not at 1/2 and 2/4. All I can talk about is my experience. I have been going through a change from nit style FR to more LAG 6-max and I think this adds a huge degree more variance not just because of the obvious (style played) but the adjustment takes some time to adapt the decision making process post flop. I certainly haven't cracked it yet but I am convinced it is the best way to play and in the long term I believe it will work out. Something I have found the hardest has been adjusting to the way people perceive me and how they react to my actions (actually preflop as well as post flop). I guess you have gone through all of this anyway but thought I would offer my experience for what it's worth.....
Ket's point about running bad and playing bad are spot on as I find I start making poor decisions when I have been victim to a run of bad beats and that tilts me more than the suckouts as I know I'm doing it = time for a break.
It seems to me that you are way way ahead of where I am (and started the TAG->LAG process a way better player than I am) and July/August may bring the rewards you are looking for and some of those sick beats may start going your way.....
GL. |
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