my head hurts.
not from a hangover... but b/c when i set up the beerpong table, i was getting out from underneath it to unlatch the wings on the table and i slammed my fucking forehead into the leg of the table...theres a big knot.
Anyway last night everyone thought i was on lifetilt drunkiness b/c of poker...this had nothing to do w/ poker. Poker is a game, a hobby...i could care less. My FML post last night had to do with getting my priorities in line and turning my life around b/c i don't like the way i've been living. Theres a lot of things i could do. baseball is my life, i am flirting with 90 MPH (i'm a pitcher, and 90 is the 4th highest teir in the baseball world...going like 99-102 being 1st, 95-98, 92-94, then 90-91...) Its a goal of mine, i want to play major league baseball. I've wanted to ever since i was 3 years old. I've been playing for 16 years. I'm lucky enough that God has given me talent. I throw 89-90 MPH and it's a good 89-90. However, this is only God-given talent. I haven't worked at it to get better since my freshman year. This could potentially be my last year to play. I have 2 more years of eligibility left, but there are only two 4-year schools talking to me and one of them doesn't have the major i would like to have. I don't know, there's other stuff that i'm not going to discuss on liquidpoker...but baseball is my life and i have done nothing to help myself move on to the next level. I feel like i've let down all my coaches i've ever had, the team i'm playing for right now, and most importantly, the person who should care the most, i've let down myself.
So you win some, you lose some, life goes on. It's time i start winning more personal battles.
And no, the booze last night didn't make all this come about, i've been thinking about this since monday...
***EDIT***
oh yeah forgot to tell yall something...
last night after i posted my drunk rage i went and did two things...
#1 i started my ethics paper... this is how far i got.
"Clay Thomas
Professor Morgan
9-19-08
Ethics
meta-Ethics
meta-Ethics is one of the something that we deal with every day of our lives. Many of our decisions are based on a subliminal knowledge of meta-ethics. There are many different groups of meta-ethics including ethical subjectivism, cultural relativism, ethical absolutism, ethical egoism, utilitarianism, the ethics of duty, virtue ethics, existentialist ethics, ethics of care and intuitionalism. The one I will be focusing on today is Utilitarianism.
Utilitarianism"
I remember using spell checker....
#2 i went and i ran the saltiest mile i've ever ran in my life.
Seriously, i ran it in about 6 minutes which is FUCKING FAST for me. I'm 5'9" and 235 lbs...thats fucking booking it.
I then had to run back to my apartment so at 4 in the morning, drunk off my ass, i ran 2 miles, one of them the fastest mile i've ever ran...
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