A test for it all, a bench mark for the journey~~

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jon166 United States. Dec 15 2008 16:28. Posts 57

LOL, what a beautiful idea that flew to me.... something the universe provided for me, the one consciousness, allowed the thought to pop in to my head. Thank you thank you thank you, i love it,,,, or is it love just flowing through me? Did I allow this to happen,,, or was it a grace..? THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU...

I can test it all, I can test it all. Whos testing,,, letting it flow LOL. All these new ages things have made a very complicated belief system, and then it contradicts, and parts of me feel truth on both sides. For example, .... I just lost it... clarity came to me in this instant.. I guess I can use the words, "me" and "i" in blogs,, but feels like it isn't me. Feels like there is no me or i... ANYWAYS

I will see all these ideas and new age stuff to test it out, like EFT, Sedona Method, brainwave entrainment.

SO PERFECT AND TESTABLE.... what if it fails?? LOL well then i'll see and grow from that, what if it succeeds? LOL i feel my thoughts and emotions scared that it is going too succeed and fail... la di da di da, is this why i'm so stuck in all areas of life? Lolll, but there is movement.. judgements judgements and more judgements. they aren't needed, lol... i see how the mind can get away with conflicting desires and then just freaks out and stops. <--- the behavior of my mind and body that i see.. reaction. oh well I forgive my self and accept the grace of awareness over this.

Here i go, so testable, so free, going in to the next area for life...

First I want to see what i desire....

able to enjoy poker immensely AT ALL TIMES THROUGH UPS AND DOWNS...
nonattachment to any outcome
complete joy in the act of playing
joyous learning and growing
100% no struggle and effort on my part just pure flow of playing and growing
complete acceptence from others peoples reaction/opinions of me (without taking responsibility for their reactions / opinions)
find some other form of enjoyment or passion if it isn't poker

live at home
money money money
wanting to not want anything at all
peace and joy through every slice of moment known as now
an ebb and flow in life that is pure

these are all ego things i want, and a conflicting belief system fights it, saying that the joy you seek with out is always found within... feel it in my body, body is divided.. thank whatever for the awareness over it... i can handle this conflict.....

here i go, still have the motivation to test right now, who knows an hour ago... change so quickly~~

gl
hf
=)

0 votes

Last edit: 15/12/2008 16:30

k2o4 United States. Dec 15 2008 16:40. Posts 4803

less acid more grinding

InnovativeYogis.com

ChromaX Bulgaria. Dec 15 2008 17:13. Posts 392

ya stop drugs and no more reading and listening to self help shit

AA is only a pair MUPPET - the guy who cracked my AA calling AI pf with QJ

jon166 United States. Dec 15 2008 17:52. Posts 57

lol the way i c it is why not, if it seems fun and cool at the time. plus it's so engrained in me,,, maybe im brainwashed who knows lol~!

it's okay its alright =) always will be

Parker417 United States. Dec 15 2008 21:16. Posts 331

i don't under stand your blog posts lol.