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CrownRoyal   United States. Jan 03 2009 03:59. Posts 11385
ugh ok i regret posting this but whatever.

First and foremost, I'm currently a losing poker player. I think if you can take the times when im playing in the right state of mind and not tilting/spewing/playing games i can't afford that I have at least a 5ptbb/100 edge over my competition (nl25). I used to beat the games over 100k+ hands at that winrate like 2 years ago as my only source of income plus sngs and I'd have to say I think im about 2x better now than I was then, same skill as far as sngs though i was actually probably better at sngs then because i was even nittier.

I dunno wtf im doing wrong but I keep repeating the same stupid chain of events.

Deposit 200-500 -> Win 100-500 -> Go broke.

I KNOW that I'm doing stupid stuff that is bad for my bankroll like playing in $50+ tournaments or playing 25 $25 sngs or something and then if i lose in those/do bad I play heads up and degen it up or play heads up sngs. The money doesn't mean anything to me and I chalk it up to "Well I can afford it, it's a good investment in the long run anyway" Which is probably true but it's completely way off. I CRUSH live games because I can't spew at all in bankroll management. Online though, it's too easy to find a game or two that i can't afford to play in online and jump in. Also in real life I can see my money coming and going much faster so maybe that has something to do with it although if anything at a 1/2 table I am by far the person moving the most money around so it's not like im playing scared at the casino because im playing like 35/20 fullring winning like ~$33 an hour which is probably a pretty decent ptbb/100.

I want to play poker and play high stakes it's something that I'm really interested in and i've put so much time into playing poker that I just can't see how it can't be a goal for me. Maybe I have the same problems as neilly and i don't have the patience to wait for it and i'm rushing it. In a lot of ways I can relate to neilly but I'm so much more realistic than him and SO much better at poker that it's not really comparable.

How the hell do I break my habits, I need bankroll management help so badly it's ridiculous. It seems that there is no way for me to ever overcome my mental situation and i'm doomed and should quit playing poker but I don't want to do that. I want to succeed i fucking hate losing ugh.

/end rant.

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WHAT IS THIS 

Loco   Canada. Jan 03 2009 04:16. Posts 20968

so while we're on the neilly comparisons... he used a function on stars to restrict himself from playing games he can't afford, didn't he? what stops you from doing the same?

i love your blog btw, 100% serial

fuck I should just sell some of my Pokemon cards, if no one stakes that is what I will have to do - lostaccount 

CrownRoyal   United States. Jan 03 2009 04:28. Posts 11385

restricting myself doesn't help it just pisses me off and i dont spew like neilly does calling 3bets with any two and playing with 3 buyins just looking for a rush cause hes a degenerate retard. Any of you guys who think neilly is a good poker player is wrong and are just fooled by seeing his results when he wins.

I don't do the 3buyin thing, i cant really explain to you what i do but its like in a video game where you know you can reload your tokens when you hit 0 so you gamble aggressively and push it really hard or something which is exactly what neilly does but ugh i can't really relay my point but if you look at my stats on those datamine sites you wont see hardly any hands played higher than nl50.

WHAT IS THIS 

Exhilarate   United States. Jan 03 2009 04:49. Posts 5453

try using nitty bankroll management
i play with at least 30 buyins
i'm currently playing 200nl with 275 buyins, so yeah..
and, i never move up unless i feel like i already have a significant edge on my current limit.
gl


DustySwedeDude   Sweden. Jan 03 2009 10:42. Posts 8623

If there was a HU game between you and Neilly like Bo7 for 200bb or so I'd take Neilly and I'd give some odds I think. At least if payment wouldn't be a hassle.


thewh00sel    United States. Jan 03 2009 10:58. Posts 2734

Get a coach.

A government is the most dangerous threat to man’s rights: it holds a legal monopoly on the use of physical force against legally disarmed victims. - Ayn Rand 

SakiSaki    Sweden. Jan 03 2009 11:18. Posts 9685


  On January 03 2009 09:42 DustySwedeDude wrote:
If there was a HU game between you and Neilly like Bo7 for 200bb or so I'd take Neilly and I'd give some odds I think. At least if payment wouldn't be a hassle.



qft

what wackass site is this nigga?  

SakiSaki    Sweden. Jan 03 2009 11:33. Posts 9685

Also, to op, I dont want to be a dick or anything, but have you ever considered cutting your losses and quiting online poker altogether? I mean if you dont make it past grinding nl25 before you do something dumb and bust why bother? Why not move on to spend your time on something more productive. You seem to suffer from the same allusions of grandeur that nielly is.

You dont deserve sucess, you dont deserve to play higher. If you deserved sucess you would have had it long ago, thats the beauty of the long run. Obviously you dont crave sucess enough to grind low limits with good bankroll management, you just on some plane think you are diffrent than everyone else and that you dont have to put in the hours grinding out $25/h to get there. Well guess what, You dont. 99% of all sucessful pokerplayers have grinded lowstakes, most of us didnt think it was awesome but we still did it as a step to reach our dream. You should do some soul searching to find the reason why you really play poker and what really motivates you. If you where 100% motivated to put in the effort to make some significant dough from this game then grinding with good brmanagement shouldnt be a problem. If you cant help yourself and eventually tilt/play out of your br then I guess you just dont want it enough.

what wackass site is this nigga?  

Tycho   Netherlands. Jan 03 2009 11:43. Posts 1553

poker isn't for everyobdy

quit now or start a 50+ buyin rule you need it

Poker is fun. 

k2o4   United States. Jan 03 2009 13:17. Posts 4803

Caleb, maybe you crush live because 1/2 is the lowest live stake available so it plays like microstakes online. Basically, you crush live cause you're an avg player vs a bunch of fish. Online it's tougher competition and even though it's only 50NL instead of 200NL, the games are harder. But since you are beating NL200 live you feel like playing 50NL online is too low, though it's not. Something like that might be part of what's going on.

Bottom line is that patience is a huge part of winning at poker, just as much as hand reading and knowing odds and so on. So to say "when I'm not spewing I play winning poker" doesn't mean much cause the times you're playing outta your limits or tilting are part of your poker career.

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