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Most embarrassing moment |
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fira United States. Apr 30 2009 19:29. Posts 6345 | | |
Ok so at my school we have faculty advisers that are assigned to students according to their last names. The faculty advisers help students with scheduling conflicts, general questions, help with internships/employment, etc. My adviser is named Jess Depew. She's pretty hot. She's like 25 and she's only been at the school a few years. Anyway, I have been looking into getting an internship at Disneyland or something over the summer, and the school helps coordinate these things with an internship database that's maintained by the advisers. You log on with your school ID and password and you can browse internships and stuff. I was having trouble logging on to mine so I went to see Ms. Depew. That's where all the trouble started.
Firstly, I walked into her office like 15 minutes early like an idiot and she's in the middle of lunch. So I awkwardly make stupid stall talk until she's finished.
"Oh, hey, whatcha eating?"
"Salmon. I love it. I eat it practically everyday."
"Just salmon? That's pretty weird." Why the hell did I say this?
"Oh, well, I don't know. I try to eat healthy, natural foods... you know, like wild berries and honey and stuff."
"Yeah, I like food too." *facepalm*
Man, I was so nervous. Anyway, we finally begin squaring my stuff away. She looks up what I registered with in the beginning of the year. This is when the crap really hit the fan. This is how the conversation went:
"Okay, your account name is [my name] and your password is ...'depewissexy'..."
Oh damn, I completely forgot that I put that as my password in the beginning of the year. What the hell was I thinking? It was probably the longest 20 seconds of my life before I finally got my balls together to stand up and leave. Just as I walk out the door, she says,
"In the future, you might want to bear in mind what kind of things you want to keep to yourself."
I was so fucking embarrassed I wanted to kill myself right then and there. I wanted to run the hell out of there and never, ever see her again. But something about what she just said kept me standing in her doorway. I decided to man up and apologize. I turned to her, looked her straight in the eyes, and swallowed my pride. And then, it hit me like a trainful of bricks.
She was eating salmon.
She tries to eat all healthy, natural foods, like wild berries and honey.
She told me that I might want to bear in mind what kind of things I want to keep to myself.
Ms. Depew was a bear disguised as a human.
Immediately, the bear saw that I had seen through its charade. It roared loudly and took a menacing swipe at me. I deftly avoided its claw and sprinted out of the office. The bear was soon in chase, crushing through the walls of the office as if they were made of paper. I jumped over the receptionist desk and ran out the back entrance. The bear followed, tossing the secretary aside like a rag doll. The bear began to pursue me through the street traffic. While I fought my way through the maze of vehicles, the bear simply careened its massive force through anything standing in its way. Cars veered off the road to escape the onslaught of grizzly force that was barreling down the road. The bear was gaining fast. I had no other option but to make my way into the nearest building: a preschool. I burst through the door, startling the children from their naps. Immediately, the bear slammed through the wall, crushing a child beneath its massive paws and burying several other children in sheet rock and debris. I maneuvered my way through the chaos and towards the back exit. The pre-schoolers were little more than a screaming annoyance for the bear. Its massive paws cut swaths through the sea of toddlers with each swipe. I used the precious time these children had afforded for me to make my escape into the playground. I scrambled up a ladder to a fort-like structure. My goal was to walk across the monkey bars then jump to a tree which I could climb to the roof of the preschool and perhaps flag down a passing helicopter.
-Anonymous
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LemOn[5thF] Czech Republic. Apr 30 2009 19:40. Posts 15163 | | |
| | She was eating salmon.
She tries to eat all healthy, natural foods, like wild berries and honey.
She told me that I might want to bear in mind what kind of things I want to keep to myself. |
lol hahaha :D |
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milkman United States. Apr 30 2009 19:52. Posts 5719 | | |
reminds me of dearest hannah letters.. and clay is known to send these letters while overseas, but i doubt this one him.. nice story to who ever wrote it.. |
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| Its hard to make a easy buck legally, its impossible to make a easy buck morally. | |
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EscapingR Netherlands. Apr 30 2009 20:16. Posts 2353 | | |
hehe i like it  |
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lazymej Canada. Apr 30 2009 20:53. Posts 2897 | | |
rofl that was awesome
I thought it was a real story of yours up until the killer-bear chase. |
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lol good one |
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lebowski Greece. Apr 30 2009 21:19. Posts 9205 | | | |
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| new shit has come to light... a-and... shit! man... | |
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| | On April 30 2009 20:19 lebowski wrote:
old but gold |
this |
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k2o4 United States. Apr 30 2009 22:08. Posts 4803 | | |
hahaha i totally thought this was a real story... till the bear part =) hilarious shit |
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vegable United States. Apr 30 2009 23:11. Posts 2453 | | |
I sprinted to the nearest street corner and whistled for a taxi; it had dice in the mirror. I took one last look behind me and yelled to the cabbie "YO HOMES TO BEL aiR!!!!"
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