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CrownRoyal United States. Nov 16 2009 21:58. Posts 11385 | | |
First of all I want to publicly apologize to my staker. I promised him I would play huge volume for a month and make us a nice profit and I pretty much failed that in every way possible. I started the stake off playing at least 4k hands a day, making good money and everything seemed to be perfect. I started to lose money (like -10 buyins in EV) and took a day or two off and got called for a job interview at a local computer place. They literally hired me and I started working the day of my interview. They gave me a gym membership, I enrolled in college, started studying to get certs, i started eating healthy and started to pump some iron again (which feels great).
My life literally took a 180 and I hate poker for the most part anymore and if I didnt have to play, I didn't want to. I have structure in my life now, and that is something that I've never had. I know he is upset with how things worked out and it's no ones fault other than my own because he was great to work with.
I think I'm done playing poker as a "grinder" for now, and probably forever unless i just fail @ life and become a 5/10 live pro or win a big tournament, but that's pretty unlikely. I've fathomed the idea that when or if i fail in life to the point of chronic depression that I would just live in vegas and spend my 5/10 profits on cocaine/heroine and do that until i OD and die inhaling a line off of a hooker's ass. The game is so much harder than it was 4 years ago when I started this journey and I never accomplished anything to begin with so why stick around.
I guess the game is pretty well imbued into my system and I don't know how I could ever quit but the idea of competing against 5000 other nerds trying to do the same thing I am where I don't put in the effort to keep up and waiting for a spot that happens 1 in 3000 hands to turn an edge is fucking retarded. I seriously would not suggest anyone to get into poker in the current and future state that the game is going to be in. It's never going to get better... I feel pretty cheated because I'm self taught and now people can pay some faggot retard who ruined the game $30 a month and make my winrate be dispelled into nothing. I want all of the time I spent studying the statistics of everything and figuring formulas for fold equity and shit back. All the money i wasted playing 60/40 as a newb to increase my hand reading ability, everything. Fuck you carddrunners and everyone teaching random faggots and not people you care about how to win at poker. I hope you guys rot in hell with your $30 a month dues and people start not watching your videos anymore because you are now a losing player and no one wants to watch you play so you get fired and work at mcdonalds because you dropped out of college.
I've wanted to get that out for a while now. Honestly though, that's my life update and when my body starts to look like I used to I'll post some results. Also, I don't plan on disappearing if that's what you was hoping for I'm probably still going to play poker casually and I just love this community as much as it hates me and I don't feel the need to leave. I think i MIGHT play a $200 tournament this weekend @ the local casino. There will probably be around 200 people in it with a good structure and I just don't know that I can pass EV like that up. Also, fuck the girl in the blog below.
That is all 
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whamm! Albania. Nov 16 2009 22:05. Posts 11625 | | |
weird but this actually inspires lol. there's so much more to life than poker, but when you play seriously, nothing else matters and time just flies. im really happy for you crown, imo balance is best |
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lol awesome c u on hon sometime i'm sure |
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Eluflop Estonia. Nov 16 2009 22:49. Posts 3835 | | |
honest and true ... somebody needed to say this a long time ago ...
Also, fuck the girl in the blog below. -- lol |
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Vivi57 United States. Nov 16 2009 22:54. Posts 314 | | |
I'm glad for you. It's been pretty obvious you wanted to leave poker for a while and you're happier without it. |
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k2o4 United States. Nov 16 2009 22:57. Posts 4803 | | |
| | Also, fuck the girl in the blog below. |
hahahahahah |
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aLLinHERO United States. Nov 16 2009 23:05. Posts 94 | | |
its always good to vent.
and i agree on the whole cardrunners training sites thing  |
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Silver_nz New Zealand. Nov 16 2009 23:54. Posts 5647 | | |
good on you, I'd be keep to hear updates about how things work out for you with this 'having structure' thing |
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Loco Canada. Nov 17 2009 01:37. Posts 20968 | | |
This is what you should have been seeking out for a while instead of just waiting for it to fall into your hands. You would've had some degree of success a long time ago if you were cut out to be a professional poker player. It's not even about the games being harder, it's that your edge has never been significant enough or it didn't compensate for other skills needed that you lacked. That said, you're still a poker player and what you've learned will 100% follow you in life; ie, the degen aspect of it and how you treat money, but some positive stuff as well. I wish you luck and really hope you won't get too caught up with poker anymore. |
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| fuck I should just sell some of my Pokemon cards, if no one stakes that is what I will have to do - lostaccount | |
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fira United States. Nov 17 2009 02:24. Posts 6345 | | | |
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Nazgul  Netherlands. Nov 17 2009 06:05. Posts 7080 | | |
What happened to the backing? |
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| You almost twin-caracked his AK - JonnyCosmo | |
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locoo Peru. Nov 17 2009 06:27. Posts 4561 | | |
nice turn point for you, too bad for your stacker, but it's his fault too i mean, why would someone stake you when you have even writtenin some of your blogs that you lack all discipline and stuff |
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| bitte bitte bitte bitte bitte bitte | |
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