DustySwedeDude   Sweden. May 10 2010 04:50. Posts 8623
Hilarity is a great thing. Sometimes it is manufactured by John Cleese, in which case it might be lethal (according to wikipedia some Danish guy died laughing while watching A Fish Called Wanda) or just happen on High Stakes Poker when Raszi gets hold of 92s. Most of the time it's something they show on TV, or when your drunk friend tries to pick up some guy who looks a bit like a girl. However, sometimes you just happen to get into a situation that's bad, handle it worse and also get unlucky at the same time. Shit happens, basically, and sometimes it's probably really funny from an objective point of view. This episode happened a week ago and at first I figured I should keep it quiet, but in the spirit of "bjuda på sig själv" as we say in Sweden (wtf is the English expression? Basically giving up some ego to let everyone have a better time at your expense) I've decided that I should tell this story here on my blog. I'm fairly sure that not THAT many people I know irl reads this, and those who do are mostly close friends and such so I feel ok telling this.
Last Monday I played the Sunday donkament on prima, stayed up for some cash games and decided that sleep is for lazy people and that it's probably a good idea to go for a morning roll. Said and done I grab my gi and take a walk to the gym while drinking some red bull to keep awake. I do feel that my stomach is trying to tell me something about my sleeping schedule and food intake and that whatever it's trying to say probably contains a whole bunch of foul words. However, my body and I have a very simple relationship which basically is grounded in a lot of bitching from my body which I ignore or just answers with random phrases about how it'll probably be fine if I just get some duck tape, some water and/or some caffeine. I feel that I've probably spent to much of my life bitching about unimportant stuff so now I try to ignore that kind of crap. Anyway, I get to the gym a bit early, I sit around watching the morning break and generally feeling very philosophical and such thinking about how life is good, BJJ is sick fun and how the S mount is the most awesome thing since sliced bread.
Since Roberto "Cyborg" Abreu was in Sweden a couple of weeks before doing a seminar which a bunch of the guys was at the technique training for this session was about the Tornado Sweep.
check it out at about 2.40 or so.
I'd like to bring up a few important points for the rest of the story:
1. I'm not very good at BJJ. There's no way I'm getting a decent Tornado Sweep against anyone except if I get like 20 seconds to set it up. And then there's like a 50/50 chance it'll suck something horrid anyway, and maybe 5 % chance that it'll actually be a somewhat correct sweep. Also, a week ago before I had actually practice that sweep a couple of times I was even worse.
2. While trying to do that sweep you'll spend a decent amount of time with your ass in your partners face.
Anyway, I start out trying to do the sweep with a big blue belt. He seemed to be having some troubles with it too which is understandable since, well, he's a big ass guy and it's hard to bend like you need to do. I'm also doing my best which is basically getting up on my neck then looking like a retard while trying to to figure out which leg to throw in what direction. Overall we probably looked a bit silly and after a while the instructor (probably ~100kg or so black belt) decides that we should probably switch partner. The blue bet goes with the instructor and I say hi to some ~60 kg girl. If this change was since I couldn't throw a guy a couple of kilos heavier then me or had something to do with the fact that it'd be easier for the girl to do the technique with me (90kg or so) rather then the even bigger dude I don't know, but judging from the fact that she threw me around like nothing I'm fairly sure which one of those alternatives was true.
Anyway, you guys are smart, you already know what happens. I start to get the hang of it and it's a lot easier to manage to move 60 kg then whatever the big dude could've been and I generally starting to feel good about myself. The girl was one of those super positive nice people you encounter sometimes to which helped a bit. So finally I decide that I this time, yea, this time I'll do an awesome sweep and then I'll grab the biggest damn dude in the room and try it on him when we roll afterwards. That was the plan. We start from half guard, I get my grips, I spin around, everything is great and then... I fart in her face. Not a big one, mind you, and not one of those smelly (I hope!) but one with some sound attached to it. Not a lot, but definitely something someone with her face 25 cm from my ass would notice. I say "sorry", continue the sweep and manage to fuck every part of it up . Then we practice for a while in silence until it's time for 5 minutes sparring rounds. As usual I get my ass beaten (I'm the only beginner who goes to morning class with any regularity, lazy fucks!), which is fine with me since I learn a ton from it, and walk home in the morning air. Contemplating how Murphy was right, the world's a bitch and sometimes random variance just fucks you over.
But then I remember, after all, life is good and when something like this is your biggest concern for the day, well, your life can't be that bad.
0 votes
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rednalluk   Sweden. May 10 2010 05:16. Posts 626
LOL. Is this the time you talked about before, or did you actually get a second chance to fart in a girls face? (with success this time )
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lucifer   Sweden. May 10 2010 06:01. Posts 5955
On May 10 2010 03:50 DustySwedeDude wrote:
Shit happens, basically, and sometimes it's probably really funny from an objective point of view
in the spirit of "bjuda på sig själv" as we say in Sweden (wtf is the English expression? Basically giving up some ego to let everyone have a better time at your expense)
and sometimes = and always?
Also taking one for the team might work in this context.
edit: as in you tellings us = you taking one
and we who reads it is the team. and it's amusing
On February 19 2009 22:21 Confedrate wrote: i dont get it
Last edit: 10/05/2010 06:03
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Jamie217   Canada. May 10 2010 08:45. Posts 4351
DustySwedeDude   Sweden. May 10 2010 10:35. Posts 8623
On May 10 2010 04:16 rednalluk wrote:
LOL. Is this the time you talked about before, or did you actually get a second chance to fart in a girls face? (with success this time )
2nd times the charm. First time I was just nervous as hell about it, heh (training north/south escapes for those who grapple).
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lebowski   Greece. May 10 2010 10:53. Posts 9205
hahahah such a damn awkward moment,I love it
reminds me of a ridiculous moment of my own,I'm sitting in front of a good friend of mine and we're at the uni giving some sort of half semester exam. There's no one else close enough so I decide to freely fart and turn around and announce it in some sort of "LOL PWNED JUST FARTED IN YO FACE" manner,that he would probably immaturely enough find funny too.So I did it.
I even announced it before I completely turned around to look at him and to my horror the following words came as a response: "excuse me???!"
Turns out the poor guy behind me had changed seats with my friend because the professor had asked them to do so and I hadn't noticed ... After feeling super stupid for a while I found myself trying to suppress the urge to uncontrollably laugh out loud for 5 or so minutes,which was undeniably extremely difficult while having the surprised face of my unlucky victim so vivid in mind
new shit has come to light... a-and... shit! man...
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DustySwedeDude   Sweden. May 10 2010 18:04. Posts 8623
On May 10 2010 09:53 lebowski wrote:
hahahah such a damn awkward moment,I love it
reminds me of a ridiculous moment of my own,I'm sitting in front of a good friend of mine and we're at the uni giving some sort of half semester exam. There's no one else close enough so I decide to freely fart and turn around and announce it in some sort of "LOL PWNED JUST FARTED IN YO FACE" manner,that he would probably immaturely enough find funny too.So I did it.
I even announced it before I completely turned around to look at him and to my horror the following words came as a response: "excuse me???!"
Turns out the poor guy behind me had changed seats with my friend because the professor had asked them to do so and I hadn't noticed ... After feeling super stupid for a while I found myself trying to suppress the urge to uncontrollably laugh out loud for 5 or so minutes,which was undeniably extremely difficult while having the surprised face of my unlucky victim so vivid in mind
ah, seems like this kind of situation is more common then I previously though.
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terrybunny19240   United States. May 11 2010 15:08. Posts 13829