Ok, so I fell way short of my May goals. I know that there is a week left, but it's not looking too good. What is most disappointing isn't that I didn't achieve my buy-in goal, but that I'm not even to the halfway point of my total hands played goal (100k), which reflects a lack of work ethic and dedication on my part.
Poker is a tough game. And as a small stakes player, I need to be putting in the work if I want to improve and move up. Improving and moving up doesn't just happen. There's a process (or processes) to follow in order to achieve success (big or small) in poker. I have every tool (LP, HH posting thing, HEM, etc), every opportunity (I'm not having to work or go to school right now), and I have people to help my game along the way. So no excuses. If I'm not progressing on a consistent level, then there's only one place to point my finger.
I was at around 30 buy-ins in 35k hands, but in the last 5k hands I've dropped about 10-12 buyins, which is extremely frustrating. Unfortunately, I can't even say that it's due to downswinging.
I haven't necessarily run well in 100bb+ pots, but that's fairly standard. Everyone goes through stretches where they can't seem to win a hand after the chips are in the pot, or you seem to run into the tops of peoples ranges (LOL AS IF I CAN HAND READ AND PUT PEOPLE ON RANGES). And sometimes, even though I'm ahead and lose, the loss is a direct result of putting myself in a gross spot that should have never come up.
The main problem is that I've been spewing a ton in hands under 100bbs. These pots really start to add up over time. I don't even mind that I spew in alot of spots because poor play SHOULD lead to me learning. I do mind, however, that I repeat the same mistakes over and over instead of pinpointing these leaks and trying to fix them immediately.
Enough venting. To close out this last week of May, I want to play 4k hands a day (6-8 hours) and get better at evaluating my own game because that is a huge struggle for me. It's very hard for me to figure out how to plug leaks when:
a) I sometimes can't even identify the spot in which I'm leaking money
b) When I do identify a spot, I come to the wrong conclusion on how to plug that leak
So new goals (for every month):
-4k hands a day on days where I have the time (most days) with breaks after 500 or 1k hands (haven't decided yet) to find spots where I'm leaking money and try to correct my play.
-No buyin goals. While they're nice to have, they don't affect my play. My play affects my buy ins.
It's called a grind for a reason. Success in all things revolves around the "grind". It's the process by which we achieve goals and move on to bigger and better things. Nothing in poker is handed to you. You have to earn it. So until I wake up and I've turned into Paris Hilton, which I highly doubt will be happening any time soon, I'll be on the grind.
Sorry for the long boring blog. I just needed to get some thoughts down and clear my head.
gl LP,
-JT
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