GF Advice, really confused...

first off; the honeymoon period will end sooner or later, it sucks but has to happen.

youre relationship is progressing now, and work/school etc will always get in the way - how much they get in the way is really up to you but you should be able to continue your relationship but it may have to go on the back burner during exams n stuff.

her going for drinks with her placement isnt a big deal - from the sounds of it they all went out straight after work, its important for workplace social development to get involved in these things.

I dont know why this upset you so much, youll learn to relish times like this when you get to spend time home alone and also a free coupon for a night out with your male friends or whatever.

Dont become a needy emotional faggot because she doesnt spend night and day with you.

Truth: The person in a relationship who cares less holds all the power.

Use the time she is out with friends to be with your friends or some always needed quality down time. If your jealous over work friends your in a sad place and this is not a reflection on the relationship but rather on you alone.

Just chillax some realize she's with co-workers... most of whom people think are assholes and do it because like the guy said above me its pretty mandatory to be seen and known as a normal person so you don't get singled out.

But gl

i might drop some knowledge here but i m too busy watching gossip girl

If you are in a monogamous relationship, as byrnesam said the honeymoon period must end. The only way it doesn't end is if you are non-exclusive.

However, I'll give you advice for specifically your situation. Let me make some assumptions about your situation:

In the first four months you were with her, did you spend a lot of time with her? Did you see her multiple times a week, maybe even every day or so? Did you kinda lose contact with some of your friends because you chose to spend more time with her?

Also, in this placement situation, is she still in the same city/location you are? Or did she have to move somewhere for the placement?

Here's the basic advice I can give you until you answer the above questions:

Once in a magical, wonderful relationship, most guys make the CRITICAL mistake of spend waaaay too much time with their gf. They sacrifice other things, like hobbies or his other male/female friends. If something happens that makes you two spend less time together, the man suffers a lot more because he has no social network to fall back on. This added to the fact that he suddenly goes from seeing the girl a LOT to not seeing her at all or seeing her much less... it's about as painful as a heroin/crack addict suddenly going through withdrawal.

Dude, you need to establish a strong, supportive social network ASAP. You would not be feeling jealousy/worrying about your gf if when she goes out for beers w/her co-workers, you have a bunch of guy friends or chicks you can call up to go watch a movie or shoot pool or smoke a bowl with. In fact, you should text someone right now and get some social contact.

Go out, have some fun. Have a few drinks with your guy friends, flirt with some girls, get your social side working again. Sitting around at home being jealous of your gf, worrying what she's doing, who she's talking to, etc.... these are all very very very fucking unhealthy.

The only thing you can do to counteract this is to have a fulfilling, busy life of your own. Look at your gf: she is working hard all day and then having fun afterward. Can you say the same? You're a man. You need to be ambitious and strong, not worrying about your chick having a beer at night. Get off your ass, do WORK son, and then go out and PLAY.

When you're physically WITH your gf, lavish attention on her and treat her well and fuck her hard. But when you two are apart, take care of YOURSELF. Do WORK. Play HARD. Be a good friend and the life of the party. This is how you take care of neediness.

Sanai, it's really the best advice someone could give, I really appreciate it. You are absolutely correct, this is exactly what I need to do and I will.

As for your questions all are yes'es, I really need to go out more with my friends and stuff. As for the placement she's still here so not much of a big deal.

Thanks for all of the replies guys.

lol at your gf problems
wanna trade ?

On June 02 2010 20:33 dogmeat wrote: i might drop some knowledge here but i m too busy watching gossip girl

lol epic trollage right here

What happend to you pplus?

lol big problem..... you gotta be kidding though, this isn't a girlfriend problem, the problem lies on your side haha, you need way more balance, family, friends etc. ..... It really is fairly simple, being jealous is retarded

Best course of action: Link gf to this thread.
+ Show Spoiler +

that face is the best thing to come out of 4chan by far, it cracks me up so much
but yeah, this isn't a problem, it's just you being an insecure little bitch which might mean you should break up with her because it's easily something that will ruin the relationship and fuck things up for both of you on a personal level.

and what the fuck, i wish my gf drank beer

... you gotta stop acting like a girl

sanai wins

and just like everyone said, this is a problem with balance in your life, and the solution is to fulfill your social and emotional needs. you can't unfairly demand that your gf is the solution to ALL your psychological voids. if you need something in a general sense, you can get it from somewhere else and still maintain your relationship with her. go out with friends. talk to people. don't hang on her back and be needy like this, because it IS something you can help.

what you CAN'T help is feeling lonely or bored sometimes. what you CAN help is what you do about it. don't try to kill the emotion, just recognize the emotion and solve the problem.

You need to give her her space, let her go out and get get on with your own life.

If you try to constrict her here she will drift away or you will both be miserable.

too long wont read, but would if u post pics of GF

but ya, if you do continue being jealous and needy - she will probably dump you asap

On June 02 2010 20:51 PplusAD wrote: lol at your gf problems wanna trade ?

you haven't even seen a pic yet...how will you know what your trading for...might be a -EV for you

On June 02 2010 22:50 LiLZhiMiNG wrote: Show nested quote + On June 02 2010 20:51 PplusAD wrote: lol at your gf problems wanna trade ? you haven't even seen a pic yet...how will you know what your trading for...might be a -EV for you

You obv. haven't read his blog yet...


On topic, someone said the person that cares less holds all the power in the relationship. I agree 100%. However, it's not necessarily bad

for you to love the other person more. (this happens in 99.99% of all relationships) In fact, I think it's good b/c It's more rare for a guy to be in this

position. It shows that you really care for this person and don't care about this idiotic "power" that our society attempts to define masculinity to be.

Having said that, the sooner you realize your position in this relationship the better it is for you. You can't be displaying your insecurities and fear

about losing this person externally. Instead, be confident and let her have her space. I'm sure she'll find your confidence more attractive whether

she realizes it or not. Man up in a way that shows you are an understanding person and will be there when she needs you the most and NOT trying

to gain some sort of control over the girl or nagging her ass 24/7.

Take this for what its worth... I'm only 21 y/o univ. student and not so experienced with females myself.

seems like you are at least aware of your irrational but totally valid feelings. the feelings will pass, the way you act (or react) to them will have perpetual effects. also, don't compare the feelings of spending time with your friends to the times you spend with her because the highs will innately not be as high but this doesn't mean they are less important.