my tragic story

is this a result of doing heavy drugs while writing?

On September 22 2010 12:48 The_Dmy wrote: + Show Spoiler + So its very difficult for me to put what just happend to me into words but here it its.... One day i was walking along drinking a red bull. I was expecting wings to grow but nothing. I kept drinking and trying to grow these wings they show in the advert. I called their helpline and by this time I was pissed. I mean, why hadn't I grown wings yet? Soon enough I got through to someone on the other end. Then suddenly, the phone FUCKING ATE ME. I was taken to Red Bulls secret headquarters The first room that I stumbled upon, someone was being butt probed. I was confounded when I entered the main Labratory, where I saw that the professors were all dogs walking on their hind legs. After noticing my presence, they Started scratching their balls uncontrollably, they were turned on by the sexyness in the room. I screamed " WHERE THE FUCKS MY WINGS BITCH!" and from their itchy dog balls exploded huge wings, like the ones off the telly. I tried to grab the wings, but the dogs told me that before I could have them, I had to perform a sexual act..... I told them to piss off and as I got up to leave, I sneakily stole their wings. I burst into the last room where there were 5 animals. A yellow and red stripey worm A blue dinosaur(Mr. Dinosaur) Norman the giraffe James the new year fish And Chesire cat! Suddenly Cheshire cat appeared behind me in a dusty tornado of smoke... With a giant dildo The yellow Strippy worm and Norman the Giraffe pinned me down, while James the new year fish swam in my mouth for arrousal, and Mr. Dinosaur watched as Cheshire cat advanced on me. In panic, the super energy that my red bull gave me helped me fly up from the animals hard grip with my wings, and I kicked cheshire cat in the face with my energy legs. I then continued to Beat the other 4 animals with the huge purple dildo, I escaped through the skylight of the building. As I broke through the skylight, shattered glass showering the defeated sexual deviants down below, I noticed thousands of flying dog professors on my tail. But, was that, yes it is! It was P. Diddy! On the same flying motor bike that Hagrid picked me up on when I was a baby. Oh, did I mention, I'm HARRY POTTER and I mean everything I ever say ever, cause I'm Harry.. Potter and Im really awesome. As the dog professors tried to attack, P. diddy popped a cap in their asses. They fell from the sky, but only to come together to form THE SUPER DEVIL!! I wet myself in fear when I saw Voldemort returning out of the super devils butt hole " SHIT" I exclaimed Lord moldybutts cant hurt me though cause I'm Harry Potter. Off in the distance I spotted Ron and Hermione Raving. All this time I was shooting harry potter 7, Kanye stormed onto set and started shouting " Yoyoyo, I jus want y'all to know my girl beyonce is down the street.." He couldn't finish as P.Diddy also decided to shoot that fool up. He was then dragged into the pit of sexual deviants by the dildo which had grown arms. I think Ron was going through puberty... as he suddenly got a huge erection for moldybutt and they started making out. Hermione got jealous and so to piss ron off, she decided to rave with the super devil. Unfortunately, the super devil was epeleptic, and had a seizure from all the flashing rave lights. Then Beyonce, hearing Kanye's screams as he got butt raped, ran down the street and started bitch slapping all da mudda fuckaass and had a fight with Taylor Swift, who had climbed out of a well, cus she wanted action from me cus im just so damn sexy,being MC potter and all "All this cause I wanted some wings" I thought to myself. Oh well, time for a dance party...In London So we all flew down to London on Hagrids moterbike, and I was the DJ at the hottest gay bar, slapping my harry potter theme tune remix on the decks Hagrid whipped out his huge dong and started swaying side to side. I've never seen such destruction before. However I kept slammin my beatz until professor queeril stuttered at me to hide my erection over peanut butter sammiches. I was so happy I could jizz rainbows aand so thats what I proceeded to do. Rainbow jizz was everywhere. and professor queeril unwrapped his turban, so that voldemorts face on the back of queeril's head could open his mouth to taste the rainbow. Peanut butter-rainbow sammiches flew from the sky, and everybody went OMNOM NOM NOM in their gold hotpants to my mad beatz But The turban came to life, moaning about the amounts of turban groups on facebook. I shoved a rainbow peanut jizz sammich into its gob and it orgasmed on contact. turban juice flooded the gay bar, gaybar, gaybar! Professor queeril then confessed his love for huge purple dildos and the one from earlier came crashing through the roof of the club. The sammiches also gave me the power to spawn Buttplugs on demand... the huge purple dildo, the moaning turban, and the spawned Buttplugs had a big orgie with the peanut juzz sammiches, and then Snape entered. DUM DUM DUUUUMMMMMMM! he then started doing a gay strip tease to the rest of the harrypotter characters, and Dumbledore got a huge boner, which grew longer whenever he lied about his sexuality. As Snape started singing gay bar! in a Lincoln hat and beard Everyone in the room started swinging their weeners around while dancing and singing to gay bar. Their crotch areas and bewbs started glowing. Suddenly a cat and mouse ran around the corner. The cat ran into a huge dick knocking him out. I heard something in the distance "giggity giggity goo!" Its quagmire! giggity giggity giggity, Lets have sex. Quagmire and Queeril both tucked in to some lovely rainbow peanut butter jizz sammiches and all their clothes disintegrated and hotpants all colours of the rainbow grew in place Quagmire then had an overwhelming orgasmic explosion when he saw everybody with their dongs swinging out of their hotpants. As the clock struck 12, everybodies dongs magically turned into Nimbus 2000's. Hermione then went crazy and starting riding them, and snape and quagmire announced that they were gay for each other and were getting married... Elton John then started playing piano and everyone jizzed at how good he is at piano. Nimbus 2000 cocks were flying everywhere. Quagmires orgasmic explosion caused time to shift. They had gone back to the 60's! They could hear amazing music being played outside so they went outside and they were confronted by a huge DRAGON. On top of this dragon was Jimi hendrix, with rainbow jizz spilling out the end of his guitar while he improvises a solo from bold as love. Everyone watching suddenly started to melt because of the pure epicness pulsating from the dragon and its master the killer guitar thrashing caused everyone to get high. Everyone hallucinated giant ninga bunnyrabbits, who all danced to Hendrix, and the pure awesomeness of the guitar solos caused everybodys eyes to melt while pure ecstacy shined out of their butt holes. Then the bunny rabbits attacked with their numchucks It seems everyone was able to hear colours and feel sounds. The feeling of synaesthesia vibrates through everyone and Hendrix and his army of drugged up hippies fight back against the ninja mind-raping bunnies. All the rabbits turn gay and are suddenly wearing gold hotpants. They start breeding like rabbits and soon enough there are hordes of evil demon bunnies who enslave the hippies and turn them into headfucked slaves. The bunnies made them wear collars and chains, but this turned them on too much to bear, so they held a massive festival called rapefest, where they raped the hippies and listened to Hendrix all night long. Upon not getting the invite to the rapefest, the giant spaceguinneapigs were super pissed off, and so came down in their dildo shaped spaceship and beat up the demon bunnies, who were so turned on by their punishment they allowed the spaceguinneapigs into to rapefest where giant purple dildos penetrate everything they see. As Fire by the jimi hendrix experience came on everyone started breathing fire and they lit the dildos on fire and rape ensued. But they had to move on over Cause it was time, for jimi to takover! The lemon shaped clouds suddenly started raining peanut butter rainbow jizz sammiches which caused the most simultaneous orgasms ever. Jim then started floating which caused the lemonshaped clouds to shoot jizz into the spaceguineapigs eyes, causing them to go on a face rape spree. because people couldnt breath fire due to face rape, the fire now flared out of their asses. floating Hendrix liked this, and so his guitar turned into a guitar made of peanut butter sammiches, which ensued his best earsex music yet; and everybody licked the blazing dildos. Now.... the world is filled with orgasm inducing sammiches and people are constantly being raped by mental space guinnea pigs. Jimi is pleased with his work and so on the 7th day he rested and smoked a joint to celebrate. ajsludihashdx( space noises) *wwoooosh "wow, we're back at the gay bar" Harry and his friends were all back at the gaybar with hagrid STILL swinging his huge dong around... but on the end of Hagrids dong, was attached a giant shiny disco ball. This hypnotised everyone into doing the cha cha slide naked, and this opened a rip in the time space continuam, causing time and place to shift. Next thing everyone knows, they are sitting first class in the plane in the twilight zone. Hagrid, with his giant disco ball dong, looked out and..is it? it cant be! voldemort is dancing on the wing of the plane! Out of the corner of his eye, snape spotted Nagini the snake slither out from under voldemorts man skirt. He then screamed I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MUTHAFUCKIN SNAKES ON DIS MUDDA FUCKIN PLANE! and then Max Green from Escape the fate came out and high fived him.... the buckcherry singer then decided to record an annoyingly catchy song with Max green and the rest of the band. Voldemort then decided to eat a chheeezzburger but then out of the corner of his eye he saw, and in that moment he knew what he had to do. He took off all his clothes. SLIDE TO THE RIGHT!! CRISS-CROSS!! A giant chewit Then flung out of a cloud and started munching on the plane. And the plane tasted soo good, Yet another orgasm courses through the massive chewit. It shrivels into a tiny ball and then puffs out bigger than ever. This whole time the guillotine has been playing just to make it epic then Ronnie Radke flies to the plane inside the chewit, and has a hardcore fight with craige mabbit. The Chewit, sensing the fight and nasty peoples, cries chocolate flavoured tears. But everybody thinks it diahreah, except for voldemort, who starts to rub his naked body with the chocolate tears singing 'chocolate rain' by that dude on youtube what sang it. While Voldemort rubs himself to orgasm while singing " chocolate rain" by Tay Zonday, Ronnie and Craig are in a epic battle to the end with Bfmvs new ssong "fight" playing. Craig rips out a huge fart which nearly blows Ronnie away. However Ronnie counters with better songs (ooo harsh one) Then Albi the racist dragon flies past crying... the dragon is then defened by Craiges awesome screaming skills, and then Ronnie starts to cry when he sees that craiges dick is bigger than his because everyones clothes dissapeared, due to acid jizz rain, dripping from their eyes as they see the great Micheal Star of Steel Panther in all his steeliness blast out 'fat girl', which then results in raining fat women the dragon is then defened by Craiges awesome screaming skills, and then Ronnie starts to cry when he sees that craiges dick is bigger than his because everyones clothes dissapeared, due to acid jizz rain, dripping from their eyes as they see the great Micheal Star of Steel Panther in all his steeliness blast out 'fat girl', which then results in raining fat women which results in fat people getting lost in side massive vaginas. Sarah silverman! jumps out and threatens death to all butt metal. but michael starr doesn't take that shit and tells her to turn out the light before she sucks his dick.

Quoted before he deletes it. Where did you get this?

"
but on the end of Hagrids dong, was attached a giant shiny disco ball."

I started to read but soon realized that it was not going to get any better so I stopped.

On September 22 2010 13:14 Samashki wrote: I started to read but soon realized that it was not going to get any better so I stopped.

You're missing out

Didn't realize Sawcheech had a brother

On September 22 2010 13:25 The_Dmy wrote: Nowere jeffv8x_-_16... just enjoy the reading

If you wrote this yourself you're either gay or really high

It was a funny read though

Anytime someone posts something like this they should include a picture of themselves with some friends



On second thought, not sure those pictures exist

On September 22 2010 13:46 YouGoTGoT wrote: Anytime someone posts something like this they should include a picture of themselves with some friends On second thought, not sure those pictures exist

Are you sure you want to see those pics of him with his purple dildos???????

i too, take drugs

anyone has to read it. It gets good in the last paragraph.

you worship the cock dont you

OP, whats ur boyfriends name?

cliff notes?

reading shit like this makes me wish i wrote more stuff while on shrooms.

all i can say is WTF!, i've never heard something so random for a very long time

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