qwerty67890 New Zealand. May 18 2011 03:11. Posts 14026
At life.
Its funny how fickle life can be.
2010 was one of the best years of my life. Late in 2009 I broke up with my then-GF, we were living together, she moved out and i finished up the rental period. In the space of a couple of months I went from a rather stagnant job/gf/life situation, to early 2010 when I was off to Thailand for 5 months with SilverZ. It all came together in a couple of months.
So 5 months ended up being 11 for me. I met people from LP (Silver, StealCity, Night2o1) and they were all (genuinely) really cool, it was probably the first time ive actually hung out with people who i really felt i had stuff in common with since i left high school.
I ended up in Phuket for most of my time and met the 2+2 community, who are all super cool and relaxed. It was nice to be in that social circle, going out for dinners, partying, football/basketball etc. Life was good, I was happy there, there was never a day I woke up and thought "urrrgh another day"
I had hardly played any poker, and had initially planned to quit, probably until sometime around August. I started to grind FR for the first time ever. I had only played 6 max before that, I was making a bit of money through Rakeback at 6m.
those were the days....
I dont really use PT, so PTR will have to suffice, I made a little more money than it shows, and probably played more hands, but you get the general idea of what direction things were going in.
I had to cash out each month for rent/spending money. To keep myself in the style ive grown accustomed to.
It wasnt ideal, and kept me from really moving up stakes and apart from a little NL50 - but i was confident in my game, playing good, running well. Everything had clicked together.
When the time came to leave Thailand, I was actually looking forward to getting back to NZ for a few months. I was moving down South and am currently living with my Parents. This seemed great. Id look for a job, grind poker on the side, make bank and be free from the monthly financial burdens I had before and be able to return to Thailand in a more stable financial position.
Since ive been back, the wheels have fallen off my gravy train.
I started losing at FR, I was running hot before but my ability to brush it off as variance soon wore thin. I decided to cash out a decent portion of my roll, and regrind NL10 to get my game in shape. That didnt help
I kept losing. So i moved to Full Tilt. I start grinding the bonus/RB. Playing PLO and NLHE FR. Again, I made no money. I made a tiny bit through bonus money.
Like the weather in Thailand, i was hot
Heres what i have of holdem for this year. Im probably down more than that since some will be missing.
PLO, about equal thirds PLO10, PLO5 and PLO2 - irrelevant sample size
So, I went from having the excitement and confidence of a game I was comfortable playing to where I am now. A feeling of total dejection and feeling pretty hollow inside.
The shitty results have compounded with not being able to find a job (Greenpeace was a total mess, I left after 1 day, but i wont get into that) being in a new town where the job market is shitty, small and swamped with people who know people.
I feel like Kevin Spacey at the start of American Beauty: Sedated.
Everyday I just log onto the internet, play WC3, look at pictures of cats, walk the dog, wank, eat and sleep. Thats about all I do each day (not necessarily in that order)
Going from such a high point to such a low point really sucks. I sit in bed and think of ways to get my groove back, but history just keeps repeating itself.
In closing, some Motorhead, that I feel sums it all up nicely.
Ill comeback somehow. Im just not sure how yet. Life downswings soul crushing me.
TLDR Cliffs:
Me in the red shirt, Life in the grey shirt.
Me = pink shirt, This year = everyone else
0 votes
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Stroggoz New Zealand. May 18 2011 03:17. Posts 5328
:O dam that sucks. One thing thats good about switching to PLO then back to holdem is that 10bi sudden drops dont feel too bad anymore
One of 3 non decent human beings on a site of 5 people with between 2-3 decent human beings
Last edit: 18/05/2011 03:18
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Svenman87 United States. May 18 2011 03:21. Posts 4636
dbl post :3
Last edit: 18/05/2011 03:22
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Svenman87 United States. May 18 2011 03:22. Posts 4636
Can't have a great Friday without a shit Monday.
Plus i think this is a great opportunity for you to take a break and really put some additional time into photo-shopping more things on LP.
;P Hang in there sir
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gororokgororok Netherlands. May 18 2011 04:00. Posts 3940
these gifs are making me sick
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exalted United States. May 18 2011 04:32. Posts 2918
Byrnesnam, yeah we aren't the best of friends, but I took the time to read the entire blog post. I don't mean to kick you when you're down, but it's clear your mindset isn't in the right place. There is a vibe from this blogpost that you're getting beat up and life is giving you sour lemons. In reality, you just haven't improved at poker at all and are struggling to beat the lowest limits over a significant sample.
You need to take responsibility for your results and see clearly your current ability / situation. Yes your situation sucks but you are again, completely responsible for it. In fact, you are extremely lucky that you have a family to live with and can lazily try to scrounge up money to ball in Thailand (which doesn't take much money).
Hope this advice means something to you. I just went through a rough patch as well.
exalted from teamliquid :o
Last edit: 18/05/2011 04:36
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okyougosu Russian Federation. May 18 2011 07:44. Posts 963
Now lets stop posting ur sorries and send this guy a lucky dollar just like i did
Exalted, the uncontested king of dickheads ... Hold on OP, if you see poker doesn't go your way just think about other way to balance your life, good luck !
hang in there man. im kinda in a rough patch myself this year so i completely get how you feel atm. anyway just keep at it until we find something else you can do full time and just play poker for fun which is really what we started out to do when all of us started playing. gl
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qwerty67890 New Zealand. May 18 2011 10:18. Posts 14026
On May 18 2011 08:54 iop wrote:
Was poker your only source of income under those months?
yes and no.
I had savings seperate from my BR, from my time working. I had my return ticket and travel insurance etc all paid in advance. So i wasnt going to be in trouble if i busted or hit a downswing, but it was the only thing I did to 'make' money whilst I was there. I guess in the latter months there was more pressure after i extended my plans to stay, since money started getting shorter.
My living costs after i settled in Phuket were about $600 - $1000/month. depending on how much I drank/went out. Before that they were probably similar, apart from additional travelling/visa runs.
On May 18 2011 09:05 Achoo wrote:
Exalted, the uncontested king of dickheads ... Hold on OP, if you see poker doesn't go your way just think about other way to balance your life, good luck !
byrnesam is often a dickhead as well, way more so than exalted who for w/e reason gets a lot of heat on LP
byrne, there's no foolproof way of getting out of these ruts, that's one thing i've learned. you can get all the advice in the world from people who have been there, but only you can find out what works best for you. just be honest with yourself at all times. for example, when i've whined in my blog about running bad, ppl have often said "make a stoploss" - this is completely impossible for me. when i'm losing, there's no way i can quit and say "i'll come back tomorrow!"
in the same fashion YOU have to come up with something that works for YOU, and only you know what that is.
you seem like a reasonably intelligent man, and honestly you should not have this much trouble getting past these low limits. i hope you can find the solution, good luck man
On May 18 2011 09:05 Achoo wrote:
Exalted, the uncontested king of dickheads ... Hold on OP, if you see poker doesn't go your way just think about other way to balance your life, good luck !
byrnesam is often a dickhead as well, way more so than exalted who for w/e reason gets a lot of heat on LP
byrne, there's no foolproof way of getting out of these ruts, that's one thing i've learned. you can get all the advice in the world from people who have been there, but only you can find out what works best for you. just be honest with yourself at all times. for example, when i've whined in my blog about running bad, ppl have often said "make a stoploss" - this is completely impossible for me. when i'm losing, there's no way i can quit and say "i'll come back tomorrow!"
in the same fashion YOU have to come up with something that works for YOU, and only you know what that is.
you seem like a reasonably intelligent man, and honestly you should not have this much trouble getting past these low limits. i hope you can find the solution, good luck man
lol youre unable to stop playing when losing? that sounds like a big problem to me that u need to fix. also byrne wont get any heat for being a dick cause he's also a LP hero that has brought golden entertainment to this website for many years byrne fighting
On May 18 2011 09:05 Achoo wrote:
Exalted, the uncontested king of dickheads ... Hold on OP, if you see poker doesn't go your way just think about other way to balance your life, good luck !
byrnesam is often a dickhead as well, way more so than exalted who for w/e reason gets a lot of heat on LP
byrne, there's no foolproof way of getting out of these ruts, that's one thing i've learned. you can get all the advice in the world from people who have been there, but only you can find out what works best for you. just be honest with yourself at all times. for example, when i've whined in my blog about running bad, ppl have often said "make a stoploss" - this is completely impossible for me. when i'm losing, there's no way i can quit and say "i'll come back tomorrow!"
in the same fashion YOU have to come up with something that works for YOU, and only you know what that is.
you seem like a reasonably intelligent man, and honestly you should not have this much trouble getting past these low limits. i hope you can find the solution, good luck man
lol youre unable to stop playing when losing? that sounds like a big problem to me that u need to fix. also byrne wont get any heat for being a dick cause he's also a LP hero that has brought golden entertainment to this website for many years byrne fighting
yep, it is a problem for me, im very dumb sometimes
byrne being a funny guy does not excuse his behavior other times, i for one dont want that type of retarded hierarchy here, or anywhere else. it's very dangerous to employ that type of mindset and someone like you should understand that
exalted needling him a bit here seems like payback for byrne calling exalted's gf an "ugly mong", "smelly cunt" and whatnot. unacceptable.
wasn't greenpeace shut down in NZ?, anyway life downswings are the worst, but that's just what they are, you will get through it if you start to think and actually do stuff other than browsing the web and playing WC3
I feel like Kevin Spacey at the start of American Beauty: Sedated.
Everyday I just log onto the internet, play WC3, look at pictures of cats, walk the dog, wank, eat and sleep. Thats about all I do each day (not necessarily in that order)
Im exactly at this point in my life and it really sux, in some parts of ur blog entry I felt I was reading my own biography :/
Idiocy: Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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United Kingdom. May 18 2011 11:26. Posts 8665
byrne fighting
