LemOn[5thF] Czech Republic. Jun 26 2011 15:14. Posts 15163
No doubt in part because of one thing I lack very often-moderation (see my last blog post) my routine was just completely blown away.
From the maximum of the couple weeks of doing everything right I went to the standard low from a couple months ago. How?
Well, first I got ill had a nasty cold and a headache, and subsequent mucus on lungs eww, it would be gone in a couple days, but as god wanted, it perfectly overlapped with my graduation and my 86year old great aunt visiting for 4 days. Now she always supported me and she sends me letters every month giving me updates about our family and what's up in my country of origin and she travelled 1,000 kilometres alone just to see my grdatuation, we had a great time, she met my girlfriend and we travelled through Edinburgh (what a great city by the way). It also meant I didn't get much sleep because she arrived late at night and her plane left 8 am in the morning and I had to explore the city and get some graduation drinks when at the climax of the illness. On top of that my wisdom teeth started calling again, and I spent about 6 days on painkillers.
Well what can I say, my regime? Gone, and right now I got back to my old ways. It sucks when you can't go to the gym, when you can't do things to the max and worse of all if you are me, if you have any sort of excuse to get back to your old self.
last few days I even stopped writing my food diary and yesterday and today the worst symptom of being 'me' turned up. I stopped doing easy things like 'I will play now' 'I won't play until I watch 2 videos' I will go to sleep at 12:30' 'I will write my poker diary after this session' and I started to spend again some 4 hours per day, frantically pressing F5 and posting for the sake of it. Well although I learned some nice concepts, it's not what I want to do, and I don't feel in control.
Well it's time to get back on track...again
/end rant
EDIT: I wrote this in the gym while waiting for my girlfriend (She always takes 20-30 minutes to shower and do whatever mysterious female thingies females do)
I actually did a good intensity workout, breathing heavily and from there we went right to the supermarket and bought up like 4kg of fruit and veg. Tomorrow is my day without poker so I will get my head clear and I will own the Food diary again, my number one commitment that I omitted for some 3-4 days.
It's funny but very often too much poker can be harmful for me, I start obsessing and when I skip my regime, exercise and socializing i lose the protective barrier that gets built up with the increase of the important neurotransmitters, and for example today I had a NL50 session where I got hammered second time in a row, just in some 400 hands and I lost just 1.4BI but my heart started pounding heavily and fight or flight and obsessive behavior was induced along with a rapid drop in mood after losing a miniscule amount of both money and BIs. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind dwelling on some hands or concepts for very long, but I need to be able to tell myself when to stop, and when you stop doing stuff like socializing, breakfast, morning routine and generally doing things that make you feel good, your serotonin levels get low and obsessive behavior takes very little to be triggered, and I also lose motivation to get out if it and actually do the good things that are very simple to do when you think about them rationally.
Taking the first proper step out of the rut is the most important, but also the hardest thing to do, and hopefully I just made it. It took me 3 days of 'for sure I will do it' confirmation before I actually kicked my fat ass and force it to go to the gym and pool.
unless its a mistake and u wanted to write 14 BI i dont even see how could u call 1.4BI drop a swing
Last edit: 26/06/2011 16:46
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LemOn[5thF] Czech Republic. Jun 26 2011 17:09. Posts 15163
On June 26 2011 15:44 maryn wrote:
unless its a mistake and u wanted to write 14 BI i dont even see how could u call 1.4BI drop a swing
I never called it a swing, but a session that induced obsessive behavior and an excessive mood drop. (It was also a shot at higher limit)
I think this turn missclick might have added fuel to the fire. http://www.liquidpoker.net/h/910803
Hell I don't even know if it really was a missclick or if I did it on purpose, all I know I very strongly consciously repeated to myself that I am bet folding even before I bet, I think it was both.
I was very emotional and if my GF didn't interrupt me I'd still be there, playing 12tables and working hard on busting my bankroll. But that was more of a result of the complete lack of routine and fail in doing what I set myself to do off the tables, it feels like by doing good things and adhering to what I want to do off the tables works like protective barrier from emotion induced on the poker table, when the barrier is gone even small things like that get to me.
93% Sure!
Last edit: 26/06/2011 17:12
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traxamillion United States. Jun 26 2011 17:39. Posts 10468
can't you just effortlessly print money on stars now that it is eurofish only?
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LemOn[5thF] Czech Republic. Jun 26 2011 18:25. Posts 15163
On June 26 2011 16:39 traxamillion wrote:
can't you just effortlessly print money on stars now that it is eurofish only?
As you probably know I have problem with fundamental style and constructing my ranges, the Eurofish are aggressive and when you just don't understand how to play solid poker and you just artificially tell yourself 'play tight' it just doesn't work. I had especially trouble preflop, and I worked hard on that.
But recently since I started watching the Alan Jackson series on BF I just 'got' how to play fundamentally well /nitty preflop, and the results have been very good actually, even in recent days where my regime took a beating and my mood was less than optimal.
DvoBoardRider Afghanistan. Jun 27 2011 00:31. Posts 849
On June 26 2011 14:14 LemOn[5thF] wrote:
EDIT: I wrote this in the gym while waiting for my girlfriend (She always takes 20-30 minutes to shower and do whatever mysterious female thingies females do)
prolly with another dude.
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LemOn[5thF] Czech Republic. Jun 27 2011 07:02. Posts 15163
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