August=hell?

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LemOn[5thF] Czech Republic. Aug 22 2011 11:12. Posts 15163

[ ] Volume
[ ] Results
[ ] Kept a poker diary, analysed a ton of hands
[ ] Kept a food diary
[ ] Kept schedule
[ ] Had sweat sessions, talked on Skype as much as I wanted
[ ] Progressed a lot with Mathematics of Holdem and Math attacks
[ ] Had a lot of circuit+strenght gym sessions

Although:
[x]signed up for Tai-Chi and Yoga Classes and went twice to both
[x]started studying Mathematics of holdem
[x]read Peak Performance Poker from Travis Steffen

This month started pretty well, I had my focus on again after some ghost writing jobs in July took it away. I was in the zone, exercising, eating 5 times per day, studying and I spent some 6 hours on mathematics of Holdem at the start of the month and made a ton of notes. What a baller, right? But then something went terribly wrong...First, I have decided to cash out from Pokerstars and head into rakeback waters of iPoker and to the fishy land of Bodog that 0 good regs play and the games are as good as 'back in the day'.
But sadly, because of a glitch in William Hill cashier all my money, including 100% of my real life money, got blocked for over a week, no matter that I spent over 12 hours on the line with supports of WH and my bank. Let me tell you, being busto is all right, and I am quite used to it. But knowing you have money but can't touch any of it, even to buy yourself food and not have to beg your girlfriend for change, is just another level of stress especially when you know you can lose all of it and more. Never before I could co connect with you guys that have your money stuck on FTP as much as I can now, and if someone unwisely kept most of their wealth on the site probably the best advice I would get is to just write it off as business loss, both in your account and most importantly in your mind, look at what you have now and try to do do the best you can in your situation. If the money does come, you will have a nice surprise and a bonus. As I have realized even when my money was in limbo for just a week, the uncertainty and stressful hope and everyday checking if your money got freed up will only make you worse off emotionally.

Before I got my money back, but also sometime after, the Girah thing happened. I must say I took it way more personally than I should have. First of all the scandal broke off right in the time where 100% of my wealth was blocked because of a poker site. Second, when Girah came forward, I was hooked. It was just a great story of a guy who made it in a very short time span, it gave me hope and belief and really was one of the main motivators for giving poker a full-time shot. I was hooked on his poker static interview, his well, and things he posted on poker strategy, a lot of advice from those interviews is on my wall and still in my head. And it is still good advice I must say, well it better be - it comes from Haseeb who is a great video maker and story teller. When it leaked that he cheated, that he lied about pretty much everything,that his graphs are most likely fabricated and that Girahh account was breaking even at NL1000 for quite a bit of time I felt betrayed. Never before I read more than one page on Two plus two, but this time I couldn't stop. It was a good soap opera on it's own, but even more so when I was so emotionally involved with poker blocking my money and someone I looked up to turning out to be a fraud. I read every single page, every thread, every blog, it was around 500 pages of forum posts and incredibly lengthy Haseeb's bullshitting essays and four hours of audio interviews. Again I think I simply cared too much, or was just entertained too much, there is rationally nothing I could do and engaging only in things you have some sort of control over will just make your life so much more productive.

Once that stormed off, and my money got untied I was still not able to do my job. Instead, I had to put in a ton of work in helping my GF Finish her post graduate dissertation. I felt responsible really as I persuaded her to change her topic some 2 months before submission from something she didn't care nor knew anything about but seemed easy to something she is obsessed about - Thought process, reasoning and how chicks behave when buying luxury handbags. Not exactly my cup of tea, but I just had to help her and after an all nighter of editing it, I am finally done.

So I must say this month was really hell, I hate it when I can't do my job, and poker is just that - my job. The great positive is that I now have regular Tai Chi and Yoga on Saturday and Sunday, and even though I was hyper stressed and worked all night I actually feel pretty good and energized, filled with energy ready to jump into the grind and start learning again. The classes just showed me how great is to have some anchors you have in your schedule, that you do every week at the same time, without having to persuade or push yourself - it's just something you do, like brushing your teeth, or going for a massive shit every morning. I will try to introduce more and more anchors like that. Yoga and Tai-chi, live poker on monday evening, 2-3 hours for Math study on a fixed day and time every week, 'family day' every Thursday with my GF where I can't touch poker and have to get out in the city and do stuff. Also a project I have been working on -The Awesomes poker group, that will be based on fixed schedule of group events like a sweat session, concept discussion or group coaching, each one of them happening week after week, at the same time so that they become an effortless habit.

And finally, in exchange for helping her with her studies so much and supporting her, I have a promise from my girlfriend that she will now 100% support me in my pursuit of poker, at least until the agreed deadline at the end of February at which I will evaluate if I can make it and still want to make it in poker, and prove to myself and her that I can make decent money or if I quit it altogether and jump into a boring corporate career.

And just to add some more optimism...August is far from over. Let's see if I can get most of the boxes ticked by the end of the month

Cliffs: I do Tai-chi with average age of people in the class of 50, and Joga with where I am the only person out of 15 with a crotch cobra

0 votes

93% Sure!

Last edit: 22/08/2011 11:23

dogmeat Czech Republic. Aug 22 2011 11:32. Posts 6374

On August 22 2011 10:12 LemOn[5thF] wrote:
[ ] Volume
[ ] Results
[ ] Kept a poker diary, analysed a ton of hands
[ ] Kept a food diary
[ ] Kept schedule
[ ] Had sweat sessions, talked on Skype as much as I wanted
[ ] Progressed a lot with Mathematics of Holdem and Math attacks
[ ] Had a lot of circuit+strenght gym sessions

+1

ban baal

Big_Rob_48 United States. Aug 22 2011 16:10. Posts 3432

Cliffs: I do Tai-chi with average age of people in the class of 50, and Joga with where I am the only person out of 15 with a crotch cobra

Haha crotch cobra. I am thinking about doing yoga but it just seems so weird as a guy.

My AIM sn if you want to chat: YoRobbyMiller

k4ir0s Canada. Aug 22 2011 23:22. Posts 3478

august sucks!

I dont know what a dt drop is. Is it a wrestling move? -Oly