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tears of joy

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mnj   United States. Dec 03 2011 00:51. Posts 3848
i didn't know wat else to title this blog

i haven't visited this site in so damn long
i've been playing 2/5 at a local poker room and been banking an ok amount, about 1k a week nothing to brag about ( i still wait tables though)
but the life is so unsatisfying, letting down my parents, having friends continue to move "further" in life
i been constantly wondering/questioning wat the hell i am doing and where i want to be, and how to chase hapiness not money or a standard life, so i don't wake up at 50 and hate myself

and the road has been so fucking lonely that's the worst part. i used to have a gf, who i paid living expenses for, but a bad break even stretch in july/august and she fucking bails on me

but i don't care no more. i made up for it with my biggest winning months. and even though i never won a high hand, or a bad beat jackpot, even though i never flopped quads i run so fucking good.

i played with a trader, who i impressed enough to get me an interview with his firm. like it's nothing guaranteed but it's a damn good opportunity.

i know i have so much to prepare for, it's like getting a 1600 on your sat's. but it's doable. u just gotta put in crazy work.

and all my past loneliness, tears of pain, that empty feeling in your heart after busting roll after roll. all those hands of poker that never felt rewarding.

i can forget it all. i'm not quite sure how well i am conveying my feelings or my heart. i've been playing poker, and each day i play, the more likely i will play forever. how other job possibilities get smaller. the chance to reconcile with family diminishes.

but i run so good. i run so fucking good.

i am so overwhelmed and so grateful. it's like i'm one of those losing regs at the poker rooms year after year. but i finally win a bad beat jackpot witch erases so many decades of pain.

i get to start over. i have hope.

<3<3<3

miss nolan's big fat black dick
baal is so tame these days
tutz is an idiot
miss them gooks huhu/collegesucks
fck isuldur1 we have LONGPLE

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Spicy   United States. Dec 03 2011 01:08. Posts 1027

Sick, I'm trying my hand @ trading as well. Been talking to a friend from BW 4 years ago who now trades at a prop firm

I wish you luck in your interview, and success in trading. The trader's I've talked to are all really passionate about what they do and approach trading similar to how serious poker players treat poker. I think you'll do well in that kind of environment .

In general, poker players are ahead of the learning curve due to money management skills and the ability to be self-critical/learn from mistakes. Although it's still quite difficult because it's a whole new game.

If you want to talk trading, shoot me a PM or I'll shoot you one with messenger info

 Last edit: 03/12/2011 01:10

PuertoRican   United States. Dec 03 2011 01:38. Posts 13103

gL with life yo~

Rekrul is a newb 

longple    Sweden. Dec 03 2011 03:08. Posts 4472

glglgl



and lol at the last sentence


DaEm0niCuS   United States. Dec 03 2011 03:14. Posts 3292

wait, so all you got was an interview at a firm? I'd rather win the BBJ. I bet the hiring rate of firms is like 5% of the people they interview, maybe smaller. You better do something that makes you stand out, I guess poker is one of those things. GL


Spicy   United States. Dec 03 2011 03:34. Posts 1027


  On December 03 2011 02:14 DaEm0niCuS wrote:
wait, so all you got was an interview at a firm? I'd rather win the BBJ. I bet the hiring rate of firms is like 5% of the people they interview, maybe smaller. You better do something that makes you stand out, I guess poker is one of those things. GL



Not really, most prop firms will let you trade with them and use their leverage as long as you provide your own capital. They make money off commissions (which are MUCH lower than retail commissions) and profit share. It's really up to the candidate to scout for the most reputable prop firms that have the best training programs, payout structures, and an environment where the other traders actually help you succeed. A lot of people fail not because they can't get into a firm, but because they pick a bad firm, think trading is easy and blowup their accounts way to quick, bleed money because aren't managing their risk properly when they're on the learning curve and are -EV.

 Last edit: 03/12/2011 03:35

bigredhoss   Cook Islands. Dec 03 2011 03:49. Posts 8648

gl with the interview dude. as far as the emo thoughts go, just try and take an objective look at your life and what you want out of it. i don't know the entirety of your situation but if poker is causing you to form negative life habits just put it aside, it's not that important. you're way too young to be having these hopeless thoughts like "i've been playing poker, and each day i play, the more likely i will play forever. how other job possibilities get smaller. the chance to reconcile with family diminishes." you can't control all of your circumstances but you can control a lot.

Truck-Crash Life 

Fujikura   United States. Dec 03 2011 04:10. Posts 1795

GL with the interview, but as Daem0nicus said, don't expect to bink it without trying. I know traders correlate skills sets to succeed in poker a lot with skill sets in trading. Also, and I'm sure you've thought this, but if you're making 50k/yr on 2/5, it's really good for part time... a lot of 2/5 regs in Vegas make more than that, but obv playing full time and not enjoying life. I'm sorry you feel like people judge you so much because you're a poker player, but in my experience, friends usually think it's cool, family is tough, but if they truly love and respect you, they will let you make your own decisions and support you 100% through them. Best of luck!

aka SouL)Z(Isadie and SouL)P(Fujikura 

Fujikura   United States. Dec 03 2011 04:12. Posts 1795

Also, I'm sure you've thought of it, but why not just save up your money grinding 2/5? You can build up a solid life roll if you invest more time into it. It might be torturous for a few months, but it is nice to live comfortably and have your money working for you. Just something to think about for the future, glglglgl.

aka SouL)Z(Isadie and SouL)P(Fujikura 

YoMeR   United States. Dec 03 2011 04:19. Posts 12438

looks like poker was def not for you. glad you finally have an out from poker. GL

eZ Life. 

LemOn[5thF]   Czech Republic. Dec 03 2011 05:19. Posts 15163


 
i used to have a gf, who i paid living expenses for, but a bad break even stretch in july/august and she fucking bails on me


Why pay living expenses for her, huge mistake unless she cares for your kids

93% Sure! Last edit: 03/12/2011 05:20

handbanana21   United States. Dec 03 2011 05:52. Posts 3037

Its not about who has the biggest toys, as long as your happy yo. Obv the girl was trash if thats the reason why she left you. You seem like a smart dude, stay optimistic and things should turn around.


jonafern   Australia. Dec 04 2011 23:51. Posts 3

+1 LemOn.

When's your interview?

I have a job interview later this month with pretty much a prop firm as well. Been an online pro for nearly 2 years, looking to get out as well.


gawdawaful   Canada. Dec 05 2011 11:45. Posts 9012

gl dude

Im only good at poker when I run good 

TheHuHu3   United States. Dec 05 2011 22:33. Posts 5544

NO U.

TheHuHu4 coming soon :) 

 



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