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Show hand : 1093572 |
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Handnr: 1093572 Submitted by : drone666
PokerStars Zoom Hand #215657978464: Holdem No Limit ($5/$10) - 2020/06/23 11:09:21 CUST [2020/06/23 0:09:21 ET]
Table Adhara 2-max Seat #1 is the button
Seat 1: DroneHuStl3 ($2315.98 in chips)
Seat 2: Jakeeeeeeeee ($1000 in chips)
DroneHuStl3: posts small blind $5
Jakeeeeeeeee: posts big blind $10
Holecards(Odds) Dealt to DroneHuStl3
DroneHuStl3: raises $14 to $24
Jakeeeeeeeee: raises $81 to $105
DroneHuStl3: raises $140 to $245
Jakeeeeeeeee: calls $140
Flop(Odds) (Pot : $490.00)
Jakeeeeeeeee: checks
DroneHuStl3: bets $110
Jakeeeeeeeee: calls $110
Turn(Odds) (Pot : $710.00)
Jakeeeeeeeee: checks
DroneHuStl3: bets $170
Jakeeeeeeeee: calls $170
River (Pot : $1,050.00)
Jakeeeeeeeee: checks
DroneHuStl3: bets $1593.72
Jakeeeeeeeee: calls $475 and is all-in
Uncalled bet ($1118.72) returned to DroneHuStl3
Showdown DroneHuStl3: shows (a pair of Kings)
Jakeeeeeeeee: shows (high card Ace)
DroneHuStl3 collected $1998.50 from pot
Summary Total pot $2000 | Rake $1.50
Board
Seat 1: DroneHuStl3 (button) (small blind) showed and won ($1998.50) with a pair of Kings
Seat 2: Jakeeeeeeeee (big blind) showed and lost with high card Ace
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drone666   Brasil. Jun 23 2020 11:12. Posts 1825 | | |
missed the chat before, but he offered me 3bb/100 to play him at 5k LOL
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Dont listen to anything I say | |
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Nitewin   United States. Jun 23 2020 16:11. Posts 1552 | | |
i read that as "you would consider religion" haha |
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lebowski   Greece. Jun 23 2020 20:31. Posts 9205 | | |
ego wars
I wonder if/how much strategy is affected from all the hostility and trash talking, eg FUCK THIS GUY, NO RNG 4BET |
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new shit has come to light... a-and... shit! man... | Last edit: 23/06/2020 20:32 |
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drone666   Brasil. Jun 23 2020 23:39. Posts 1825 | | |
"ego wars" gtfo pussy
this is the fun part of poker |
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Dont listen to anything I say | |
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Baalim   Mexico. Jun 24 2020 02:23. Posts 34262 | | |
return to the stonecutters :< |
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Ex-PokerStars Team Pro Online | |
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Baalim   Mexico. Jun 24 2020 02:25. Posts 34262 | | |
| On June 23 2020 10:12 drone666 wrote:
missed the chat before, but he offered me 3bb/100 to play him at 5k LOL |
3bb/100? lol did you take it? |
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Ex-PokerStars Team Pro Online | |
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drone666   Brasil. Jun 24 2020 04:12. Posts 1825 | | |
| On June 24 2020 01:23 Baalim wrote:
return to the stonecutters :< |
too many lurkers not many active people discussing
I didn't say yes or no, I'm not rolled for 5k and he's prob bluffing |
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Dont listen to anything I say | |
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Nitewin   United States. Jun 24 2020 05:04. Posts 1552 | | |
He blocks AK and KQ.
You playing any pair less than K like that is unlikely.
Was his play okay? Help me understand that high variance play. |
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drone666   Brasil. Jun 24 2020 05:23. Posts 1825 | | |
I think his play is alright considering that is very intuitive that 4bettor is likely to overrep AK in this runnout and if he thinks im not aware of this
its a strange spot because I expect him to xr quite a lot the flop and the turn considering my turn size, ranges are quite small and I haven't thought much about it |
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Dont listen to anything I say | Last edit: 24/06/2020 05:25 |
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lebowski   Greece. Jun 24 2020 12:48. Posts 9205 | | |
| On June 23 2020 22:39 drone666 wrote:
"ego wars" gtfo pussy
this is the fun part of poker |
fun or not, isn't this just ego wars?
I guess, um ...dick? |
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new shit has come to light... a-and... shit! man... | |
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dnagardi   Hungary. Jun 24 2020 20:57. Posts 1778 | | |
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drone666   Brasil. Jun 25 2020 06:23. Posts 1825 | | |
| On June 24 2020 11:48 lebowski wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 23 2020 22:39 drone666 wrote:
"ego wars" gtfo pussy
this is the fun part of poker |
fun or not, isn't this just ego wars?
I guess, um ...dick?
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the way you said you are implying as it's a bad thing, ego is a very subjective topic and our definition for it could be very different, and depending on the definition I disagree
fact: if you are not competitive in poker and only think about grinding for money, very likely you will not go far as it will become a burden just like any other peasant regular office job selling your time for money
personally I would like to have more beefs because that's what usually motivates me to study and improve |
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Dont listen to anything I say | |
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lebowski   Greece. Jun 25 2020 13:13. Posts 9205 | | |
sure it can be a big motivator, like what Michael Jordan did (I saw the "last dance" documentary recently) with opponents and teammates. Having other examples in mind I don't think it's absolutely necessary but it does work, especially since it's pretty tough to find huge interest in poker when you are already comfortable with money. I think there are drawbacks to this, but I wasn't implying it's bad and doing it is wrong overall. In specific cases it can be, like if someone is blinded by an unrefined ego and ends up doing retarded shit
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new shit has come to light... a-and... shit! man... | |
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RiKD   United States. Jun 25 2020 16:41. Posts 9041 | | |
The ego is a great topic. In AA they like to talk about the reduction or even the elimination of the ego. I think that is misguided. "God is everything or nothing." But I don't want to get involved with that supernatural mumbo jumbo.
I have this hole inside of me and it wants more. It hopes. It dreams. I remember I was burning the oil on both ends and I won like 30 grand. It was my biggest winning day ever and it should have felt like all my hard work was paying off. But I got no sleep. I was compelled to play more. I 4 tabled 4 death tables shorthanded at 10/20. I wanted more. These were the situations that allowed me to be a better player but I think I got smacked around a bit and lost 7 grand. My friend who got a normal amount of sleep was like pumping me up about the big day yesterday and asked me how I felt and I felt terrible. I could always do a mega gravity bong and get lost in nature. The point is after a big day the hole maybe gets bigger. I hoped that it would be a remedy that I would feel better. That my bankroll would make me feel powerful. And I think the bankroll did make me feel powerful. But when the goal is to take the sexy Argentine chica out for some sushi at the sexy, chic spot and it's 90 Argentine Peso ($30 USD) it doesn't really fucking matter if I'm playing 3/6 or 25/50. It mattered to me though. I got greedy. I wanted to make $2million USD/yr. 25/50 was stimulating. It was VALIDATING. I was playing with Dwan, Galfond, and Guy.
That's what it's really all about anyway. Validation. I am still figuring this out. Wanting validation through women on Tinder is probably a losing proposition. But I need validation to a certain degree to achieve a healthy ego. If one plays poker and doesn't get any validation from it that would suck. HU battles would be fun and a way to improve one's game. I need as many outlets for quality validation that I can get.
I really don't know that much about the ego though even after all this time. AA could be poisoning a lot of my world view. Although they do have this idea of being right sized. Not too small and wanting or too grandiose and oversized. Right-sized might be me as a psychological counselor rather than some high stakes big bet star.
It seems that hunl gladiator drone666 fits him quite well. Time will tell. Time will tell. I don't think anyone wants to be playing online hunl when they are 50 or even 40 or even 30?
What do others think about the ego? |
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RiKD   United States. Jun 25 2020 17:35. Posts 9041 | | |
There is no "the way." There is a "my way" and a "your way." These can be found through the inquiry of truth. |
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Santafairy   Korea (South). Jun 25 2020 19:47. Posts 2233 | | |
competition is great you should be competitive but proudly displaying that doubly embarrassing chat after this hand is like gift wrapping your feces and sending it out with Christmas cards |
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It seems to be not very profitable in the long run to play those kind of hands. - Gus Hansen | |
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Baalim   Mexico. Jun 25 2020 21:05. Posts 34262 | | |
| On June 25 2020 15:41 RiKD wrote:
Argentine chica out for some sushi at the sexy, chic spot and it's 90 Argentine Peso ($30 USD) |
30 USD is now 2,104 argentinian pesos thanks to left wing policies but hey, I'm sure what they need is even more socialism right? lol |
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Ex-PokerStars Team Pro Online | |
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drone666   Brasil. Jun 26 2020 05:07. Posts 1825 | | |
| On June 25 2020 15:41 RiKD wrote:
The ego is a great topic. In AA they like to talk about the reduction or even the elimination of the ego. I think that is misguided. "God is everything or nothing." But I don't want to get involved with that supernatural mumbo jumbo.
I have this hole inside of me and it wants more. It hopes. It dreams. I remember I was burning the oil on both ends and I won like 30 grand. It was my biggest winning day ever and it should have felt like all my hard work was paying off. But I got no sleep. I was compelled to play more. I 4 tabled 4 death tables shorthanded at 10/20. I wanted more. These were the situations that allowed me to be a better player but I think I got smacked around a bit and lost 7 grand. My friend who got a normal amount of sleep was like pumping me up about the big day yesterday and asked me how I felt and I felt terrible. I could always do a mega gravity bong and get lost in nature. The point is after a big day the hole maybe gets bigger. I hoped that it would be a remedy that I would feel better. That my bankroll would make me feel powerful. And I think the bankroll did make me feel powerful. But when the goal is to take the sexy Argentine chica out for some sushi at the sexy, chic spot and it's 90 Argentine Peso ($30 USD) it doesn't really fucking matter if I'm playing 3/6 or 25/50. It mattered to me though. I got greedy. I wanted to make $2million USD/yr. 25/50 was stimulating. It was VALIDATING. I was playing with Dwan, Galfond, and Guy.
That's what it's really all about anyway. Validation. I am still figuring this out. Wanting validation through women on Tinder is probably a losing proposition. But I need validation to a certain degree to achieve a healthy ego. If one plays poker and doesn't get any validation from it that would suck. HU battles would be fun and a way to improve one's game. I need as many outlets for quality validation that I can get.
I really don't know that much about the ego though even after all this time. AA could be poisoning a lot of my world view. Although they do have this idea of being right sized. Not too small and wanting or too grandiose and oversized. Right-sized might be me as a psychological counselor rather than some high stakes big bet star.
It seems that hunl gladiator drone666 fits him quite well. Time will tell. Time will tell. I don't think anyone wants to be playing online hunl when they are 50 or even 40 or even 30?
What do others think about the ego? |
if someone asks me what were my happiest days in life, I would say back in 2013-2015 when I found out they had some sort of KOTH on stars normal HU tables, it was very competitive and I really wanted to climb the stakes and beat the best guys holding the best tables, after they removed normal tables and had only zoom I migrated to other sites and bumhunted for a while, then 2017 came and pokermaster boom happened
I made a lot of money but I was just grinding and printing money against random numbers with no identity, there were no ranks, no pride, no competition, it was just clicking the buttons and collecting money, after I had enough money to retire ( for brazilian standards at least ) I remember feeling empty, less alive, purposeless, "ok, so what do I do now ?", I bought some expensive watches, a nice car but still felt dead
I suspect that I have auto sabotaged myself into dumping most of my money into crypto just to feel some pressure again, maybe I was just being a dumbass or maybe got bored and needed to feel some adrenaline again, but that's one of the big downsides of feeling motivated by " negative" emotions, it's kinda of a lose/lose situation, you need to be unhappy and angry to be motivated, once you achieve your goals, you have no reason anymore to feel unhappy and angry thus you lose motivation and sabotage yourself into going back to a difficult situation to feel that high again
right now I feel more mature and I dont think any of whatever these "goals" are, matters really, we all going to vanish into oblivion and we will not remember anything after we die. I trick myself into giving my life a false truth purpose because I think this is what will bring me more happiness during the process. Deep down I know im only a manifestation of the nature following my biological instincts and that being successful or busto are not really important, I just try to enjoy the process of living and embrace my nature
sometimes I get caught too much by the ups and downs of life and things get into my head and I have remember myself that I'm basically acting, none of this matters and life is meaningless
/random rant |
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Dont listen to anything I say | |
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drone666   Brasil. Jun 26 2020 05:11. Posts 1825 | | |
| On June 25 2020 18:47 Santafairy wrote:
competition is great you should be competitive but proudly displaying that doubly embarrassing chat after this hand is like gift wrapping your feces and sending it out with Christmas cards |
you've been reading too much reddit/rareinsults |
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Dont listen to anything I say | |
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Santafairy   Korea (South). Jun 26 2020 12:50. Posts 2233 | | |
I don't think I've clicked a link to reddit in over a decade because I have a nonzero amount of sense so I'm too out of the internet loop to get your sperglord reference that you probably confused for a burn |
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It seems to be not very profitable in the long run to play those kind of hands. - Gus Hansen | |
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Oddeye   Canada. Jun 26 2020 16:20. Posts 5106 | | |
There is no way he would give you 3bb/100 that's pretty insane. This hand seems like relatively std thrash talk between competitive players after big hands with a lot of money.
I don't know how much money you made but investing and making more money is a good plan, sure maybe bitcoin wasn't a great success but investing in general seems like a smart idea(maybe not too stable atm I guess). The goals won't matter in the end if you think about being remembered by others, pretty much no one will be except the top X best in anything. However these great moments/memories still carry you right now, either to keep going on to relive that success or just to show you that you can have great success in other sphere of lives, or other competitions. Btw my unsual tip is if you want a shift in perspective get yourself some shrooms lol |
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Nitewin   United States. Jun 26 2020 16:24. Posts 1552 | | |
How do you feel about taking on an apprentice?
I would like to be rich too. T_T
Willing to relocate anywhere and study my arse off! |
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RiKD   United States. Jun 26 2020 20:34. Posts 9041 | | |
| On June 26 2020 04:07 drone666 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 25 2020 15:41 RiKD wrote:
The ego is a great topic. In AA they like to talk about the reduction or even the elimination of the ego. I think that is misguided. "God is everything or nothing." But I don't want to get involved with that supernatural mumbo jumbo.
I have this hole inside of me and it wants more. It hopes. It dreams. I remember I was burning the oil on both ends and I won like 30 grand. It was my biggest winning day ever and it should have felt like all my hard work was paying off. But I got no sleep. I was compelled to play more. I 4 tabled 4 death tables shorthanded at 10/20. I wanted more. These were the situations that allowed me to be a better player but I think I got smacked around a bit and lost 7 grand. My friend who got a normal amount of sleep was like pumping me up about the big day yesterday and asked me how I felt and I felt terrible. I could always do a mega gravity bong and get lost in nature. The point is after a big day the hole maybe gets bigger. I hoped that it would be a remedy that I would feel better. That my bankroll would make me feel powerful. And I think the bankroll did make me feel powerful. But when the goal is to take the sexy Argentine chica out for some sushi at the sexy, chic spot and it's 90 Argentine Peso ($30 USD) it doesn't really fucking matter if I'm playing 3/6 or 25/50. It mattered to me though. I got greedy. I wanted to make $2million USD/yr. 25/50 was stimulating. It was VALIDATING. I was playing with Dwan, Galfond, and Guy.
That's what it's really all about anyway. Validation. I am still figuring this out. Wanting validation through women on Tinder is probably a losing proposition. But I need validation to a certain degree to achieve a healthy ego. If one plays poker and doesn't get any validation from it that would suck. HU battles would be fun and a way to improve one's game. I need as many outlets for quality validation that I can get.
I really don't know that much about the ego though even after all this time. AA could be poisoning a lot of my world view. Although they do have this idea of being right sized. Not too small and wanting or too grandiose and oversized. Right-sized might be me as a psychological counselor rather than some high stakes big bet star.
It seems that hunl gladiator drone666 fits him quite well. Time will tell. Time will tell. I don't think anyone wants to be playing online hunl when they are 50 or even 40 or even 30?
What do others think about the ego? |
if someone asks me what were my happiest days in life, I would say back in 2013-2015 when I found out they had some sort of KOTH on stars normal HU tables, it was very competitive and I really wanted to climb the stakes and beat the best guys holding the best tables, after they removed normal tables and had only zoom I migrated to other sites and bumhunted for a while, then 2017 came and pokermaster boom happened
I made a lot of money but I was just grinding and printing money against random numbers with no identity, there were no ranks, no pride, no competition, it was just clicking the buttons and collecting money, after I had enough money to retire ( for brazilian standards at least ) I remember feeling empty, less alive, purposeless, "ok, so what do I do now ?", I bought some expensive watches, a nice car but still felt dead
I suspect that I have auto sabotaged myself into dumping most of my money into crypto just to feel some pressure again, maybe I was just being a dumbass or maybe got bored and needed to feel some adrenaline again, but that's one of the big downsides of feeling motivated by " negative" emotions, it's kinda of a lose/lose situation, you need to be unhappy and angry to be motivated, once you achieve your goals, you have no reason anymore to feel unhappy and angry thus you lose motivation and sabotage yourself into going back to a difficult situation to feel that high again
right now I feel more mature and I dont think any of whatever these "goals" are, matters really, we all going to vanish into oblivion and we will not remember anything after we die. I trick myself into giving my life a false truth purpose because I think this is what will bring me more happiness during the process. Deep down I know im only a manifestation of the nature following my biological instincts and that being successful or busto are not really important, I just try to enjoy the process of living and embrace my nature
sometimes I get caught too much by the ups and downs of life and things get into my head and I have remember myself that I'm basically acting, none of this matters and life is meaningless
/random rant
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Are we condemned to be actors though? I know when I was a valet I was acting how I felt a valet should act and also what management told us. But on the other hand if I am painting a painting I don't think there is acting. I am not thinking how a painter would act. I am just painting. I think it might be similar to you going into KOTH mode. You weren't acting how a high stakes hunl specialist would act you were just in the moment.
Are you saying that no matter what we act out who we are or who we think we should be?
I think there is a person or an entity of who we are. That will obviously be effected by our culture, environment, who we interact with but we can get close. We can get "free" to a certain degree. Maybe that is an illusion. Many "truths" are "illusion."
Were you really happy after reaching that retirement threshold? It's sounds like you weren't. You talk about being dead and trying to wake up the undeadness with watches and a nice car. So, it's not really "happiness." If you are down some money it is unhappy and motivated and if you are fat with prata it is unhappy and unmotivated. Which is worse? I might wager that the latter is worse if one can't find a way to get stimulated. No fluxo makes drone666 a sad warrior.
Adrenaline is a helluva drug. I remember listening to "Addicted" by Serge Devant on repeat for like 20 hours that day (well, some combination of that song and the hour long podcast it was on) I won 30 grand. That is madness.
Sessions like that would happen again and again. I have never been in a zone (a fluxo) like that since. Everything else just doesn't seem "that serious." Brazilian Jiu Jitsu could approach it but even that was not that serious. I never competed in a tournament. There were never serious death matches although sometimes sparring would get serious with certain warriors. I think it is just the nature of life as we get older that we will never get certain things back. I will never get back my first rush into high stakes and neither will you. I will never get back that first time I synched in a beautiful rear naked strangle on "Ronin." But then we immediately tapped hands and went at it again.
I am still trying to find "my way." "My way" certainly doesn't involve playing high stakes hunl anymore but what a beautiful game. We do have to choose how we spend our time. We are a sum of our actions. Does any of this matter? After all, we return to the nothingness we came from one day as you said with no recollection or anything. *Poof* existence gone.
There is the idea of Amor fati, that we should love our fate, the good and the bad. Do you agree with this?
I am sitting here broke as a joke but sipping some good coffee and listening to Steve Reich and I have to say in this moment I love my fate. Later I might be lying in bed staring out the window at the trees with no friends to connect with and no job and nothing inspiring me to do anything. I may or may not love my fate. The last time I found myself in this position for some reason I drifted to thinking about my last love and how it went wrong. She was a modern day Lou Salome. Did I desire her or did I desire the desire? I couldn't stop thinking about that. I could relate a lot with Nietzsche. It's not particularly that fun to be alone. What happens when the paintings start to suck, the books are boring, and I just want a hug from A1?
It makes me want to take some ketamine with a date and see where that leads me... Alas, no. No Ketamine for me. I have to find another way. I have to truly feel this existence. My inclination is to envy you. I miss the hu battles. I miss drug fueled parties. But that is buried in my 20s. It is not possible to recreate.
And Covid is getting worse and worse here. It forces me to contemplate. My days are very slow tempo'd. Many times I want out but there is no where to go. I have no great meaning. Nothing great to write. Maybe it's all an illusion. Maybe I'm still in a dream. When I pinch myself there is a central nervous system response.
Would I want to relive this last hour if my life reoccured for eternity? Yeah, sure... What about yesterday? Yeah, sure.... The last week? It's more or less the same thing everyday. How do I get out of this? I have too much I want to do to commit suicide. I am not in any real pain. The suffering is marginal and perhaps even good for my contemplations. I'll just keep going. Am I living life or is life living me? I don't know. There is always choice. Choices within Covid are minimized but there is still always choice. Like what book to read next? What to paint next? No hugs from A1 though T.T
No drugs, no hugs... It's a hard life eh?
I will live it with out God. Work to abolish masters.
Why do I truly want to help people?
There have got to be selfish motives.
Am I living the life I want to live?
No, but I am getting there. When will I get there? I don't know. Never. There is always a new sunrise until there isn't. There is always a tapping of the hands for another round until there isn't.
I just have to go with what the research says:
–Giving is better than taking
–Social connection is of primo importance
–Time is better than things
Giving makes me feel better than taking. A broad, diverse group of friends helps me tremendously. Leisure to contemplate and read and paint. But, oh shit, I do need some money in today's world. But, oh yeah, I just thought of a new idea for a painting...
Ciao Guerreiros |
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Spitfiree   Bulgaria. Jun 27 2020 03:10. Posts 9634 | | |
23 comments under a hand and only 1 of them is about poker :D oh LP
Pretty sure Nazgul is just keeping the forum up to entertain himself |
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| Last edit: 27/06/2020 03:10 |
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drone666   Brasil. Jun 27 2020 06:05. Posts 1825 | | |
| On June 26 2020 19:34 RiKD wrote:
Are we condemned to be actors though? I know when I was a valet I was acting how I felt a valet should act and also what management told us. But on the other hand if I am painting a painting I don't think there is acting. I am not thinking how a painter would act. I am just painting. I think it might be similar to you going into KOTH mode. You weren't acting how a high stakes hunl specialist would act you were just in the moment.
Are you saying that no matter what we act out who we are or who we think we should be?
I think there is a person or an entity of who we are. That will obviously be effected by our culture, environment, who we interact with but we can get close. We can get "free" to a certain degree. Maybe that is an illusion. Many "truths" are "illusion." |
Why would you remind yourself that is all meaningless and we are acting during the fun part of life ?
you should embrace the illusion, believe that you found the meaning of your life and enjoy these moments at the fullest, if you don't do that I don't think life is even worth of living
When you are painting or when I'm doing something I'm passionate about, we have no reason to remind ourselves that is all meaningless and we are merely acting, otherwise we would ruin the good part of the "game" this way
| On June 26 2020 19:34 RiKD wrote:
Were you really happy after reaching that retirement threshold? It's sounds like you weren't. You talk about being dead and trying to wake up the undeadness with watches and a nice car. So, it's not really "happiness." If you are down some money it is unhappy and motivated and if you are fat with prata it is unhappy and unmotivated. Which is worse? I might wager that the latter is worse if one can't find a way to get stimulated. No fluxo makes drone666 a sad warrior.
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I wasn't happy, that's the point, not sure if it was clear, but I had 2 distinct periods, one was when I was pursuing "greatness" in what I was doing, believing that it was really meaningful, and I think I was truly happy at that time during the process, even though I've never achieved the greatness I was aiming for
then the other period I started grinding for money, and it wasn't very fun during the process but I thought that the result of this sacrifice; getting rich or accumulating money for the future, would be worth, but then when I got money I didn't know what to do with it, and I wasn't happy when I was spending the money, maybe I had a little bit more of peace but was very tedious compared to the previous period
so now I realize a bit more that the process is the important part and not the final result, I trick myself into believing that whatever I choose to do has a meaning because this is how I'll be enjoying life the most, deep down I know it doesn't have. But how boring and tedious life would be if I don't think this way, and lose myself in the good part of the acting ?
I really like this passage of Out of Your Mind by Alan Watts, not sure if the connection is clear of what I'm trying to say here and what he said without reading the whole chapter and maybe the previous one but ill post it anyway ( maybe even if you read you won't make the connection because I apparently suck at expressing myself ) :
“Let's suppose that you were able every night to dream any dream that you wanted to dream. And that you could, for example, have the power within one night to dream 75 years of time. Or any length of time you wanted to have. And you would, naturally as you began on this adventure of dreams, you would fulfill all your wishes. You would have every kind of pleasure you could conceive. And after several nights of 75 years of total pleasure each, you would say "Well, that was pretty great." But now let's have a surprise. Let's have a dream which isn't under control. Where something is gonna happen to me that I don't know what it's going to be. And you would dig that and come out of that and say "Wow, that was a close shave, wasn't it?" And then you would get more and more adventurous, and you would make further and further out gambles as to what you would dream. And finally, you would dream ... where you are now. You would dream the dream of living the life that you are actually living today. Within your infinite multiplicity of choices, you'd dream that you were this particular life - you would dream that you weren't God” |
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Dont listen to anything I say | Last edit: 27/06/2020 06:05 |
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RiKD   United States. Jun 27 2020 08:28. Posts 9041 | | |
Maybe that is the goal. To forget that we are acting. I just started a new painting that is a painting I've wanted to paint for a while. It's not original. It is a still life with a daisy, a skull, and an hourglass. But getting each fucking pedal the way I wanted it and the yellow to be the right color and the skull detailed out how I want it I was not thinking about meaning or being an actor. Should we live for these moments or do we just become Flow addicts?
We are humans we were meant to play. In play we forget ourselves. In play perhaps we are not acting. What we choose to do has some meaning. Definitely not some cosmic meaning but there should be some meaning in what we choose to do or else why are we choosing to do it? What are the deep roots and meaning of that meaning is what interests me. Why do I want to be a counselor? Well, I want to help people. Why do I want to help people? Honestly, because it feels good. It elicits some good feeling in me that I want to be around. There might be a power thing there too for all I know.
I think I would get bored as a hedonist God before 75 years were up. That doesn't mean that I think this existence is great. I would avoid a pleasure machine at all costs if they were in existence. The truth is I don't know how to live life and I never will. I eat, I shit, I die. I can read all the philosophy and psychological studies in the world and I still may not know. Heidegger says to live an authentic life in the face of death, Byung-Chul Han says "authenticity," social atomization, and individualism are having a profound negative effect and makes a case for ritual while David Graeber links a book about how ritual is holding us back. Now, luckily, I can read all of these books and come to my own conclusions. And reading these books is something that I am convinced of is a worthwhile endeavor. I could be wrong.
Anyways, I would dream a different dream. I do dream a different dream. This world isn't a dream it is some perverse subtle nightmare. For some it is just a straight up nightmare. Every day.
What are we discourse'ing about anyway? How to best distract ourselves? How to trick ourselves into "meaning"? I don't want to distract myself from the fact that we are here and then we are not. Death is all of our fates. Annihilation. Nothingness. I do have biological impulses or proclivities. I should live life within those parameters. Exercise makes me feel good. Good sleep. I happen to like mammary glands. I am just kind of idling my time away at the moment and I actually see nothing wrong with that. It's better than being stuck in some rat race. I subconsciously and overtly sabotaged my foray into the rat race. That was a lot of pain I had to go through but it was worth it. But, alas, I have many ideas how to live my life but I have no idea if I actually know how to live my life. |
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RiKD   United States. Jun 27 2020 17:24. Posts 9041 | | |
"This world isn't a dream it is some perverse subtle nightmare."
Am I uneasy because I know it to be true or does stating something based in truth make it more true?
I woke up a little queasy this morning. Another day in this existence. I could gaze upon the most beautiful flowers and what if it meant nothing? |
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lebowski   Greece. Jun 27 2020 23:25. Posts 9205 | | |
| On June 27 2020 05:05 drone666 wrote:
“Let's suppose that you were able every night to dream any dream that you wanted to dream. And that you could, for example, have the power within one night to dream 75 years of time. Or any length of time you wanted to have. And you would, naturally as you began on this adventure of dreams, you would fulfill all your wishes. You would have every kind of pleasure you could conceive. And after several nights of 75 years of total pleasure each, you would say "Well, that was pretty great." But now let's have a surprise. Let's have a dream which isn't under control. Where something is gonna happen to me that I don't know what it's going to be. And you would dig that and come out of that and say "Wow, that was a close shave, wasn't it?" And then you would get more and more adventurous, and you would make further and further out gambles as to what you would dream. And finally, you would dream ... where you are now. You would dream the dream of living the life that you are actually living today. Within your infinite multiplicity of choices, you'd dream that you were this particular life - you would dream that you weren't God” |
this is really good |
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new shit has come to light... a-and... shit! man... | |
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Stroggoz   New Zealand. Jun 29 2020 01:19. Posts 5330 | | |
| On June 27 2020 02:10 Spitfiree wrote:
23 comments under a hand and only 1 of them is about poker :D oh LP
Pretty sure Nazgul is just keeping the forum up to entertain himself |
shut it down+nuke it from orbit |
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One of 3 non decent human beings on a site of 5 people with between 2-3 decent human beings | |
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oOrs   Australia. Jun 29 2020 04:36. Posts 11 | | |
| On June 26 2020 04:11 drone666 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 25 2020 18:47 Santafairy wrote:
competition is great you should be competitive but proudly displaying that doubly embarrassing chat after this hand is like gift wrapping your feces and sending it out with Christmas cards |
you've been reading too much reddit/rareinsults
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:D
I find your insights into happiness very relatable drone666. I also find meaning and happiness in the process, and feel.. well.. not so great at the end. Seems to be very common in humans though. (Tyson Furys story is the most recent example I can think of for this phenomena. its a really interesting story if you dont know it - he did a joe rogan podcast). For me, and I suspect maybe you also? these pursuits have mostly been solo endeavours. As i have gotten older, I have come to the understanding that the happiness might last longer and be more fullfilling if you can incorportate other people into your goals/aspirations. Its probably easier to 'trick yourself' as well when other people are involved. Afterall, we are social animals designed to live for each other/the group. Maybe this also relates to what RiKD is picking up on when he is talking about becoming a counsellor and feeling good when helping other people? Please correct me if I have misread the situation.
I have yet to get to the 'end' of any of my social goals yet, but I am into the process of some. For example, I have started a family business and so far have 3 members of my family (plus me) employed full time. Seeing them be happy and do well in an environment I have set up for them is really satisfying |
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Poker Streams | |
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