I FEEL HOW WEAK AND FRUITLESS MUST BE ANY WORDS OF MINE WHICH SHOULD ATTEMPT TO BEGUILE YOU FROM THE GRIEF OF A LOSS SO OVERWHELMING. I PRAY THAT OUR HEAVENLY FATHER MAY ASSUAGE THE ANGUISH OF YOUR BEREAVEMENT, AND LEAVE YOU ONLY THE CHERISED MEMORY OF THE HANDS LOVED AND LOST, AND THE SOLEMN PRIDE THAT MUST BE YOURS TO HAVE LAID SO COSTLY A SACRIFICE UPON THE ALTAR OF FREEDOM. ALLOW MY CAPSLOCK KEY TO EXPRESS BUT A FRACTION OF MY CONDOLENCES.

Within the compass of this letter, I can do no more than indicate, as concisely as I can, relevant considerations that must be taken into account if we are to discuss Full Tilt Poker's asinine, picayunish ultimata in a rational manner. Wait! Before you dismiss me as obdurate, hear me out. I just want to expose the connections between the warped problems that face us and the key issues of communism and clericalism. That's why I propose, argue, cajole, plead, wheedle, and joke about ways to follow through on the critical work that has already begun. There isn't a man, woman, or child alive today who thinks that the cure for evil is more evil, so let's toss out that ridiculous argument of Full Tilt Poker's from the get-go. The law of self preservation dictates that I call your attention to the problem of self-deceiving pinheads, but what makes matters thoroughly intolerable is knowing that Full Tilt Poker is trying hard to convince a substantial number of petulant cretins to defuse or undermine incisive critiques of its ostentatious, antisocial behavior by turning them into procedural arguments about mechanisms of institutional restraint. It presumably believes that the "hundredth-monkey phenomenon" will spontaneously incite reprehensible schmoes to behave likewise. The reality, however, is that it's easy for Full Tilt Poker to declaim my proposals. But when is it going to provide an alternative proposal of its own? The answer is obvious if you understand that it truly believes that society is screaming for its obiter dicta. I hope you realize that that's just a simple-minded pipe dream from a phlegmatic, rebarbative pipe, and that in the real world, I, speaking as someone who is not a dim-witted spieler, am tired of hearing or reading that Full Tilt Poker's reports are Holy Writ. You know that that is simply not true. Full Tilt Poker's words are an abomination. Since I don't have anything more to say on that subject, I'll politely get off my soapbox now.

the fuk