the elusive witty comeback - Page 2

On January 08 2012 04:38 EvilSky wrote: you should have said : "oh yeah? well the jerk store called and they're all out of you!"

I don't think villain is playing on this level. They'd probably both just stare at each other and go awkward silence mode after.

On January 08 2012 04:38 EvilSky wrote: you should have said : "oh yeah? well the jerk store called and they're all out of you!"

this is the kind of genius i need in my brain 0-3 seconds after hearing the initial comment

but then again i would feel bad calling him a jerk even tongue-and-cheek =[

On January 08 2012 04:36 edzwoo wrote: I find it odd that he said this guy-to-guy. This would be a pretty standard tongue-in-cheek comment girl-to-guy or guy-to-girl imo.

yeah i kind of thought the same hah

On January 08 2012 04:36 edzwoo wrote: I find it odd that he said this guy-to-guy. This would be a pretty standard tongue-in-cheek comment girl-to-guy or guy-to-girl imo.

omg, you don't think....

Maybe... I think maybe he was hitting on you xD

Just a blunt "Sorry I'm taken"

"I'm too good for you"

"I'm in a relationzhip" (Try copy the hide yo wife guy when you say this).

"it's no fun if you don't have a witty comeback"

"it's no fun working in the grocery store"

you just need to bulge your eyes open and tilt your head slowly to the side while slowly saying 'the moonlight makes me crazy'

have to be crazier than crazy looking people to win

On January 08 2012 06:19 PoorUser wrote: you just need to bulge your eyes open and tilt your head slowly to the side while slowly saying 'the moonlight makes me crazy' have to be crazier than crazy looking people to win

ROFL winner hahahaha

i just tried doing that in the mirror but i couldn't finish because i kept laughing

On January 08 2012 04:36 edzwoo wrote: I find it odd that he said this guy-to-guy. This would be a pretty standard tongue-in-cheek comment girl-to-guy or guy-to-girl imo.

He had long red hair so maybe in fact thats his idea of a pickup line. You should have whispered to him: i dont care about all this stuff, just write your number on the receipt

or: "If you don't let me buy this, i will take a shit somewhere in the store."

Christ, you guys are way too fucking hostile rofl

I want to say that I think the problem of witty or not in social situations is much deeper than just learning some sweet return lines, so here comes a bunch of stuff.

-------


Ok I have some tips. I think we are similar in some ways, so I'll mostly describe how all of this has been for me and hopefully something will be useful to you.

-Decide on your goals in life.

Evaluate your goals for life, and create a mental (or write it) outline of what values you wish to uphold along the way to your goals. What am I talking about exactly? Well, you need to know what you want to achieve in the longterm in order to take the steps back through the intermediate time and present, determining what would be the optimal approach to life in order to fulfill those goals.

Sort out what type of approach to your day-to-day life fits your goals. Attempt to fulfill that approach.

-----
My goals are personal but upon evaluating them I realized that I will need to build a network of people of whom I share mutual trust, I need to be able to approach people and be charming, I need to be an effective communicator. Most people's goals require the same.

On my journey to get there I've realized the following:

I am sometimes perceived as slow or 'absentminded'. Usually, I'm just thinking about something else and my focus -- my mind -- isn't in the moment. Turns out this is what it means to be absentminded. It is not an endearing quality when you're among other people.

Bring yourself into the moment. Specifically focus on the present and what's going on around you. Look around at your environment and form ideas about what you see -- it is much easier to come up with something relevant to say (whether the situation calls for a witty quip or not) when you have already built a mental map of the going-ons. This is called priming; it is derivative of the concept of associative memory.

This takes a conscious effort but has become easier with practice in my experience.

I think this is the essential base from which to build upon. Now, you can learn the characteristics of wit. Its function, form -- so when appropriate you will be ready to apply it.

----

lol again idk why you guys want to make hostile remarks. the more hostile remarks you make the more your mind will be attuned to them; they may come out when you intend to say something nice

in this specific situation, I probably would not of been interested in making conversation with the young man. I may of replied, "Hey, hey, just get to scanning; I have muscles to grow" with a friendly grin; faux muscle flex. If I had wondered about something in the store (ie I'm looking at protein bars, I wonder which tastes like shit or not) I might throw in a quick question on his opinion of the protein bars I selected while he rings them up. Of course this example is specific to the way that my humor works, and may not fit you (I like the one above "I'm in a relationship lolz".

o also he didn't really give you much to work with, his remark was not particularly clever or interesting, infact his comment sucked badly and is difficult to reply to in an appropriate man-to-man fashion. even so its a good time to practice your skills

lemme know wut u think


/mass edits.. my grammar is extra shit when hungover

You should of just said "Yeah Dave", everyone would of been like WTF and then you could of moved on. I don't think wit can be learnt, you've either got it or you haven't.

On January 08 2012 03:42 RaiNKhAN wrote: You know what I'd say? I'd say "Man I'm stooping pretty low without a comeback, but your ass has to scan all this shit im buying nigga. Go ahead, spit on my protein bar and I'll smash your head into the cashier mother fucker".

You would of blurted out, "I'M GOOD AT BASKETBALL" and then run out of the store, possibly while tearing up.

Say "Oh wait i forgot something". Go find and buy some fake tan and hair dye then leave it for him with a pack of razors and casually walk out of the door while eating your protein bar.

On January 08 2012 15:08 Funktion wrote: You should of just said "Yeah Dave", everyone would of been like WTF and then you could of moved on. I don't think wit can be learnt, you've either got it or you haven't. Show nested quote + On January 08 2012 03:42 RaiNKhAN wrote: You know what I'd say? I'd say "Man I'm stooping pretty low without a comeback, but your ass has to scan all this shit im buying nigga. Go ahead, spit on my protein bar and I'll smash your head into the cashier mother fucker". You would of blurted out, "I'M GOOD AT BASKETBALL" and then run out of the store, possibly while tearing up.

no u

On January 08 2012 14:15 Night2o1 wrote: Christ, you guys are way too fucking hostile rofl I want to say that I think the problem of witty or not in social situations is much deeper than just learning some sweet return lines, so here comes a bunch of stuff. ------- Ok I have some tips. I think we are similar in some ways, so I'll mostly describe how all of this has been for me and hopefully something will be useful to you. -Decide on your goals in life. Evaluate your goals for life, and create a mental (or write it) outline of what values you wish to uphold along the way to your goals. What am I talking about exactly? Well, you need to know what you want to achieve in the longterm in order to take the steps back through the intermediate time and present, determining what would be the optimal approach to life in order to fulfill those goals. Sort out what type of approach to your day-to-day life fits your goals. Attempt to fulfill that approach. ----- My goals are personal but upon evaluating them I realized that I will need to build a network of people of whom I share mutual trust, I need to be able to approach people and be charming, I need to be an effective communicator. Most people's goals require the same. On my journey to get there I've realized the following: I am sometimes perceived as slow or 'absentminded'. Usually, I'm just thinking about something else and my focus -- my mind -- isn't in the moment. Turns out this is what it means to be absentminded. It is not an endearing quality when you're among other people. Bring yourself into the moment. Specifically focus on the present and what's going on around you. Look around at your environment and form ideas about what you see -- it is much easier to come up with something relevant to say (whether the situation calls for a witty quip or not) when you have already built a mental map of the going-ons. This is called priming; it is derivative of the concept of associative memory. This takes a conscious effort but has become easier with practice in my experience. I think this is the essential base from which to build upon. Now, you can learn the characteristics of wit. Its function, form -- so when appropriate you will be ready to apply it. ---- lol again idk why you guys want to make hostile remarks. the more hostile remarks you make the more your mind will be attuned to them; they may come out when you intend to say something nice in this specific situation, I probably would not of been interested in making conversation with the young man. I may of replied, "Hey, hey, just get to scanning; I have muscles to grow" with a friendly grin; faux muscle flex. If I had wondered about something in the store (ie I'm looking at protein bars, I wonder which tastes like shit or not) I might throw in a quick question on his opinion of the protein bars I selected while he rings them up. Of course this example is specific to the way that my humor works, and may not fit you (I like the one above "I'm in a relationship lolz". o also he didn't really give you much to work with, his remark was not particularly clever or interesting, infact his comment sucked badly and is difficult to reply to in an appropriate man-to-man fashion. even so its a good time to practice your skills lemme know wut u think /mass edits.. my grammar is extra shit when hungover

great post night

priming concept seems like a really good idea, i'll definitely try that. i think the goal-setting would be the hardest part for me, partly because i don't know what i want to be doing 5 or 10 or 20 years from now, at best i have some vague ideas about the type of person i want to be. goal-setting in general has always seemed soul-crushing to me for some reason, maybe i just need to grow up though lol. can you elaborate on what you mean by approach to day-to-day life? are you talking more in terms of finding the right mental mindset, or about setting some kind of daily regimen? it seems to me like if you have the former in place that the latter should follow, but maybe it doesn't work that way.

also agree with what you said on the humor in that it depends on your personality and whatnot, i can see some of the things you said working for you but sounding weird coming out of me lol. also agree his comment was not brilliant !

On January 08 2012 14:15 Night2o1 wrote: + Show Spoiler + Christ, you guys are way too fucking hostile rofl I want to say that I think the problem of witty or not in social situations is much deeper than just learning some sweet return lines, so here comes a bunch of stuff. ------- Ok I have some tips. I think we are similar in some ways, so I'll mostly describe how all of this has been for me and hopefully something will be useful to you. -Decide on your goals in life. Evaluate your goals for life, and create a mental (or write it) outline of what values you wish to uphold along the way to your goals. What am I talking about exactly? Well, you need to know what you want to achieve in the longterm in order to take the steps back through the intermediate time and present, determining what would be the optimal approach to life in order to fulfill those goals. Sort out what type of approach to your day-to-day life fits your goals. Attempt to fulfill that approach. ----- My goals are personal but upon evaluating them I realized that I will need to build a network of people of whom I share mutual trust, I need to be able to approach people and be charming, I need to be an effective communicator. Most people's goals require the same. On my journey to get there I've realized the following: I am sometimes perceived as slow or 'absentminded'. Usually, I'm just thinking about something else and my focus -- my mind -- isn't in the moment. Turns out this is what it means to be absentminded. It is not an endearing quality when you're among other people. Bring yourself into the moment. Specifically focus on the present and what's going on around you. Look around at your environment and form ideas about what you see -- it is much easier to come up with something relevant to say (whether the situation calls for a witty quip or not) when you have already built a mental map of the going-ons. This is called priming; it is derivative of the concept of associative memory. This takes a conscious effort but has become easier with practice in my experience. I think this is the essential base from which to build upon. Now, you can learn the characteristics of wit. Its function, form -- so when appropriate you will be ready to apply it. ---- lol again idk why you guys want to make hostile remarks. the more hostile remarks you make the more your mind will be attuned to them; they may come out when you intend to say something nice in this specific situation, I probably would not of been interested in making conversation with the young man. I may of replied, "Hey, hey, just get to scanning; I have muscles to grow" with a friendly grin; faux muscle flex. If I had wondered about something in the store (ie I'm looking at protein bars, I wonder which tastes like shit or not) I might throw in a quick question on his opinion of the protein bars I selected while he rings them up. Of course this example is specific to the way that my humor works, and may not fit you (I like the one above "I'm in a relationship lolz". o also he didn't really give you much to work with, his remark was not particularly clever or interesting, infact his comment sucked badly and is difficult to reply to in an appropriate man-to-man fashion. even so its a good time to practice your skills lemme know wut u think /mass edits.. my grammar is extra shit when hungover

DISAGREE. PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE NEXT TIME