the elusive witty comeback - Page 3

what about just saying "yes"

simple and easy

Next time you see him, tell him his off-the-wall comment helped you find the meaning of life

ask siri what to do

On January 08 2012 03:16 julep wrote: am i supposed to have a witty comeback? i dont really understand where you are getting at with his line? makes no sense to me

the witty comeback.

On January 08 2012 06:01 DhakhaR wrote: "it's no fun if you don't have a witty comeback" "it's no fun working in the grocery store"

HAHAHAHA!

I think the key to witty comebacks is to just be in troll mode all the time. Think of whatever you can to level the person. I would likely say "You have to PAY for this stuff?" and then work off of the reply. If he says yes I scoop everything back up and put it in my cart if i'm in the mood to, otherwise just grin and that will likely be the end of it. Always be ready to take it one step too far to where it isn't funny anymore and then keep going.

Tell him the jerk store called and there running out of him

heh, yep, everyone jumps to too extremes on the internets.
I think joking: "your mom" is about as extreme as you want to go at max.
otherwise something good for conversation is to pluck a word out of the air and talk about the history of it. change it a bit and add in some personal "facts"
So "yes, the tomas jefferson told me I could, with the emancipation procolomation, all men are free and equal when using services. He is my good pal. I call him 'tommy' he calls me 'dozer'.. "
"dozer eh? why is that?"
"I work in bulldozing.."

id try to steer away from any comebacks that make you look mentally handicapped.

booooring

Hey, if you want help with finding them goals n stuff, I stumbled across this site.

http://liveyourlegend.net/

On January 08 2012 22:25 BILAT_POWER!!! wrote: Show nested quote + On January 08 2012 06:01 DhakhaR wrote: "it's no fun if you don't have a witty comeback" "it's no fun working in the grocery store" HAHAHAHA!

Can't believe I missed this one LOL

reminds me of a seinfeldt episode where george don't know what to say when it happens but comes up with a nice comeback later, and can't stop thinking about it.

and ends with hem finally being able to use the witty comeback, but no-one thinks its funny. good stuff

^ LOL yeah i remember that one.

On January 08 2012 18:32 bigredhoss wrote: Show nested quote + On January 08 2012 14:15 Night2o1 wrote: Christ, you guys are way too fucking hostile rofl I want to say that I think the problem of witty or not in social situations is much deeper than just learning some sweet return lines, so here comes a bunch of stuff. ------- Ok I have some tips. I think we are similar in some ways, so I'll mostly describe how all of this has been for me and hopefully something will be useful to you. -Decide on your goals in life. Evaluate your goals for life, and create a mental (or write it) outline of what values you wish to uphold along the way to your goals. What am I talking about exactly? Well, you need to know what you want to achieve in the longterm in order to take the steps back through the intermediate time and present, determining what would be the optimal approach to life in order to fulfill those goals. Sort out what type of approach to your day-to-day life fits your goals. Attempt to fulfill that approach. ----- My goals are personal but upon evaluating them I realized that I will need to build a network of people of whom I share mutual trust, I need to be able to approach people and be charming, I need to be an effective communicator. Most people's goals require the same. On my journey to get there I've realized the following: I am sometimes perceived as slow or 'absentminded'. Usually, I'm just thinking about something else and my focus -- my mind -- isn't in the moment. Turns out this is what it means to be absentminded. It is not an endearing quality when you're among other people. Bring yourself into the moment. Specifically focus on the present and what's going on around you. Look around at your environment and form ideas about what you see -- it is much easier to come up with something relevant to say (whether the situation calls for a witty quip or not) when you have already built a mental map of the going-ons. This is called priming; it is derivative of the concept of associative memory. This takes a conscious effort but has become easier with practice in my experience. I think this is the essential base from which to build upon. Now, you can learn the characteristics of wit. Its function, form -- so when appropriate you will be ready to apply it. ---- lol again idk why you guys want to make hostile remarks. the more hostile remarks you make the more your mind will be attuned to them; they may come out when you intend to say something nice in this specific situation, I probably would not of been interested in making conversation with the young man. I may of replied, "Hey, hey, just get to scanning; I have muscles to grow" with a friendly grin; faux muscle flex. If I had wondered about something in the store (ie I'm looking at protein bars, I wonder which tastes like shit or not) I might throw in a quick question on his opinion of the protein bars I selected while he rings them up. Of course this example is specific to the way that my humor works, and may not fit you (I like the one above "I'm in a relationship lolz". o also he didn't really give you much to work with, his remark was not particularly clever or interesting, infact his comment sucked badly and is difficult to reply to in an appropriate man-to-man fashion. even so its a good time to practice your skills lemme know wut u think /mass edits.. my grammar is extra shit when hungover great post night priming concept seems like a really good idea, i'll definitely try that. i think the goal-setting would be the hardest part for me, partly because i don't know what i want to be doing 5 or 10 or 20 years from now, at best i have some vague ideas about the type of person i want to be. goal-setting in general has always seemed soul-crushing to me for some reason, maybe i just need to grow up though lol. can you elaborate on what you mean by approach to day-to-day life? are you talking more in terms of finding the right mental mindset, or about setting some kind of daily regimen? it seems to me like if you have the former in place that the latter should follow, but maybe it doesn't work that way. also agree with what you said on the humor in that it depends on your personality and whatnot, i can see some of the things you said working for you but sounding weird coming out of me lol. also agree his comment was not brilliant !

About goal setting & approaching daily life.. I'll use myself again (prolly gonna be concise here, I'm fkn starving atm):

A while back I was prompted to take a minute out of my daily (meandering, pointless lol) life to figure out what I wanted out of life, and to consider if my lifestyle at the time would give me a good % chance of achieving them. My strategy was to take a look at what I spent time doing aside from purely recreational stuff (for me, was playing videogames). What were my other interests? I began thinking about the time I spent reading the news, people's thoughts on events, finance & psych book(s), and how I eventually noticed that John and Susie Q. public on these forums and new aggregating sites really didn't seem to have a clue about how the world works. I realized I was always really searching for a broader understanding of how human society works. I'll spare you the specific whys, but asking myself this has lead me into a strong interest in psychology, economics, and finance. So with that I had a base from which to set my goals.

I recognized that I was completely broke, that I hated relying on my family, and that it was killing me inside. Furthermore, it is hard to get the experience and knowledge I want without money to pay for it. I needed to develop a reliable job skill.

Putting these things together lead me to choose a major which would serve my interests, and come with reliable job market demand. Now I had a specific goal: Attain a degree in my chosen field, and achieve a situation where I have good job prospects going forward (high GPA, extra curriculars (<--just starting here)).

To do all that I knew I had to live a lifestyle which supports a healthy mind & body. It is also hard to get a high GPA when missing half of the semester's classes or not studying. In order to succeed in extracurricular organizations, or get a job, or excel in the workplace, social skills are important. Etc. Etc. I've used what life experience has taught me and things learned from others to get the ball rolling.

Trying to work towards succeeding in all of these things has lead me to change my daily approach to life.

say nothing and start aggressively downing the milk infront of him, don't break eye contact until u finish the whole thing (unlucky you if you bought a big milk - if theres too much to drink overflow it down your front, this looks better even). then put down the protein bars and don't break eye contact until you've paid and are walking away, even then look back several times.

On January 09 2012 17:33 Critterer wrote: say nothing and start aggressively downing the milk infront of him, don't break eye contact until u finish the whole thing (unlucky you if you bought a big milk - if theres too much to drink overflow it down your front, this looks better even). then put down the protein bars and don't break eye contact until you've paid and are walking away, even then look back several times.

rofl that's too funny

On January 09 2012 17:33 Critterer wrote: say nothing and start aggressively downing the milk infront of him, don't break eye contact until u finish the whole thing (unlucky you if you bought a big milk - if theres too much to drink overflow it down your front, this looks better even). then put down the protein bars and don't break eye contact until you've paid and are walking away, even then look back several times.

ROFL omg now i'm going to keep going to the store late at night and buying milk hoping i get the chance to do one of these

meh u guys all suck. the best serious answer is. just look at him making eye contact and in a calm normal firm tone just say. " I pretty much just do whatever i want." when you own people without using hostility of any form it creates much higher value for yourself. any retaliation is also easily thwarted by something similar to first statement. seriously it makes people realize they're dumb and not funny and retains badass status for yourself while still retaining nice guy potential.

On January 09 2012 17:33 Critterer wrote: say nothing and start aggressively downing the milk infront of him, don't break eye contact until u finish the whole thing (unlucky you if you bought a big milk - if theres too much to drink overflow it down your front, this looks better even). then put down the protein bars and don't break eye contact until you've paid and are walking away, even then look back several times.

thats good 1 but if you vaguely resemble any of the psychos chased by police, you're fucked

it kinda reminded me of this scene