Worry

you don't think you are being a bit overcritical of your parents? you are actually complaining that your dad expresses concern for you...

i feel bad saying this but you sound like a self absorbed, self righteous douche who has father issues.

On January 21 2013 20:31 chris wrote: you don't think you are being a bit overcritical of your parents? you are actually complaining that your dad expresses concern for you... i feel bad saying this but you sound like a self absorbed, self righteous douche who has father issues.

my thoughts exactly

chris and redrain, I think you don't know whats it like. I think u got it all wrong now.
For u these worry words come from a mouth u dont know. But when it is a close person, it has much more impact. It is a mix of sadness, pity, concern among other negative feelings when a close person speaks like this.
My mother doesn't buy unknown milk brands from the grocery store because shes afraid of the mad cows disease.
Everytime she knows i'm going to the casino she tells me that someday i'm gonna get mugged, if I'm not careful.
She is afraid of the tsunami when we're on a holiday at the sea.
She cannot use unknown internet sites, because the viruses will empty her bank account. (I know there is some meme pic about this, no need to post it here now)
And so on.
In everything, there is, and there can be the worst case scenario.
Now this sucks the positiveness out of her life and others near her as well.
If someone that I dont really know closely does this I dont care actually.

If I tell her to stop worrying so much, shes afraid that if no one is worried and things will get out of order.
She tells me that someone has to worry because otherwise there is nothing good coming out of anything.

"Did you remember to lock the door?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, 100%, don't worry, its locked."

"It is not nice to come home and realize that all valuable belongings are gone."

"Dont be ridiculous, nothing has happened. Never has happened. And the door is closed."

"Good. But it might easily get left open and then you know what will happen."

I feel u Rinny.

On January 21 2013 20:31 chris wrote: you don't think you are being a bit overcritical of your parents? you are actually complaining that your dad expresses concern for you... i feel bad saying this but you sound like a self absorbed, self righteous douche who has father issues.

I guess the point of this was to say i feel frustrated they don't try to fix the problems in their lives when it's v. obvious they are unhappy, but it got overshadowed by me QQing about my day.

thank you for feeling bad b4 you called me an asshole

As people get older their rational thinking becomes less apparent and their fear (worrying in this case) overtakes their behavior most of the time. I know a lot of older people like this and its absolutely zero fun being around them and they tend to isolate themselves because of their constant anxiety and fear. There is really nothing you can do other than trying to not let them suck the energy from your life. Also, are you asian? It seems like asian ppl worry a lot more from my experience.

so (rande) your mom has irrational fears and your dad annoying tendencies. they are your parents, and they have sacrificed A LOT to raise you and care for you. casinos are full horrible people, and i was almost mugged before and one of my best friends has been mugged before at the boardwalk at AC.

they are older and set in their ways and you are upset they arent trying to fix your perceived problems in their lives.

also your need/desire to respond would seem to be indicative that maybe you realize this on your own. everyone has gripes about their parents, i mean, come on, they are our parents. we are supposed to have some gripes. but to put them down in the manner you have after everything you done is just incredibly callous and disrespectful. your dad could have purchased a Ferrari with the money he spent raising you, even if you believe he did it on the cheap.

and really, what is your education and job? if you are putting a ton of time into poker, i think you may want to reconsider your choice. very very few will make it in poker. some of us will have a few winning years or be small winning regs, but to really be able to make a career out of it.. your parents would be correct to show concern about that.

and helping out your grandparents is the only decent thing to do. i'd be willing to wager that when your dad asked you, you agreed like you said, but your tone implied you were way less than thrilled to be doing it, which is likely why he kept trying to justify it to you.

and i didnt call you an asshole, i said based on what you posted, that is how you sounded.

i make no personal judgement on you...i really hope you just made this post out of pent up frustration and you arent really the person you project yourself to be in this post. i really do not post that often anymore, but randomly reading this i felt like making a post. just put yourself in their shoes for 18+ years and reconsider some things....and then think about what your future kids may say about you after you sacrifice a dream, a car, traveling, etc for them.

also, rande....my father was an army officer, and i was raised with pretty strict rules and punishments. i do know what its like for my parents to have superstitions, religion, irrational fear, and overzealous rules and punishment.

i think, in general, all parents do their best. give them a break. i am pretty sure that you are far from perfect yourself

Ughh.. I know how it feels, my dad's the same way. He worries about everything, it's difficult being around him for more than a day, the constant worrying, constant planning for the future, it really becomes frustrating. he fears the world so much - constantly putting himself in an alarmed state of anxiety, and trying to make me fear the world as much as he does.

I fear it'll only get worse with age..

On January 21 2013 21:39 Rande wrote: Everytime she knows i'm going to the casino she tells me that someday i'm gonna get mugged, if I'm not careful.

yup, same thing with my dad.

Okay, I feel that venting in a blog post anonymously on the internet gives me some leeway to be crueler than in real life. I guess this type of thing might be better suited to a journal, I actually felt my emotions fall after your post and then rise when Rande defended me, which is not good, because trolls. Anyway, you don't seem to have a problem with me having problems with my parents, but with my tone, which as I said before can be attributed to the mood I was in.

So yeah, I am bored when my dad talks to me, but I don't say "shut the fuck up dad you're boring as shit" because like you said, I do owe my dad for a lot in my life and he did make huge of sacrifices for me, and I'm not an asshole. But that doesn't stop me from feeling bored.

I can also say really confidently that neither of my parents are happy. In my dad's case, i think it has a large part to due with his anxiety problem. He has told me that he wakes up in the middle of the night and then cannot fall asleep again because of worrying about myself and the rest of my family. 75% of the time, he will get into the car, then get out again to check the locks and the stove.

One thing i'm not going to be civil about is insulting my poker skills, I am currently 7th on the leaderboard for 4NL on Merge so stfu noob . . I'm not trying to be a poker pro im a junior in CS.

come to think of it, I can't really stand being around anyone for too long.

introverts ftw

On January 21 2013 23:04 k4ir0s wrote: come to think of it, I can't really stand being around anyone for too long.

I would say join the club but that seems wierd considering

My parents are not like that at all but my GF tends to do that crap when she keeps going on motivating shit I've already agreed to. I absolutely hate it. I know one or two other people who does it and I think it their way to feel a little bit better about asking for shit they know they shouldn't really be asking or stuff they know that the askee (Did I invent a new word?) doesn't like.

Correct way to do that it (way of, for example, my grandmother);

"It's so nice of you do do X//Y/Z because we old people/short people/whatever would have such hard time with it otherwise"

Doing it Rinny's father's way of "Your grandpa's geting older I don't want to strain him" removes the stuff that makes you feel good (thanks/appreciation) and just ads more pressure and some kind of implied stuff about how you're supposed to do it. Basically the correct way is acknowledging that the other guy is helping you and being nice and then telling them that it's a relief. You do that to make the other guy feel better. The way Rinny describes is just some way to make yourself feel better without actually doing anything for the guy who's helping you.

Also I tend to think that anyone over 70 can say what the hell they want because they have kind of earned it as long as we're talking people who has lived a somewhat productive life without fucking up to much, so when my grandmother comments about poker and how I should get a real job I let it slide. She's like 83 and an Angel in a lot of other ways though so I'm biased.

My grandma is really awesome, but she's a big racist. And when she sees black people she halts, freezes, puts her arm on mine, whispers, and we have to hold position for a little while.

I found out at a pretty young age that I felt bored, fatigued and tired communicating with virtually everyone in my family/relatives. But I found a way to fix it, and I do it by trolling, self humouring. So whenever something really dry and boring comes out of someone's mouth. I like to just misinterpret, take it out of context, make a rhyme out of it, or something along those lines.

I also feel you're "suppose" to behave, talk and act a certain way vs old people. But have had much better success by ignoring that. And I try, when I remember to just talk to them as if they are a mate.

So when my grandma calls, and ask what I'm doing. I like to say what I have been doing. Wether that having masturbated, held my breath, tried dancing with the curtains closed, or written a joke on Facebook.

She usually replies much warmer and cheerier to that kind of stuff. (Except maybe the time I told her my sister had an abortion, that didn't amuse her as much. Even though I came clean a few seconds afterwards).

Well this was cute. Cheer up buddy^^

Seek professional help.

Think of something new to bring up instead of replying to his pointless and harmful talk. It takes practice and it can be as random as you like, though you should pay attention and learn what sorts of things people are willing to talk about once you've brought them up.

My mom has a big problem with talking like crazy. It can be hard at times. But since I've started bringing some more randomness into our conversations, sometimes we actually end up talking about interesting things. My effort to develop this habit has wildly improved the situation. Try it out yourself, don't expect it to work and you can't really be disappointed. Just keep doing it as appropriate. At least, that's what has worked for me.