My life is a ****ing mess! - Page 2

yeah thanks you guys helped a lot, uninstalling LoL and sc2 now, time to start reading maybe (never read), im going to keep playing poker, i was intending to join aircraft maintenance in may but now it only opens in september, if i really wanted i could do that and still play some poker so i am not using that as an excuse to play poker, the volunteer program is definitely what i should do, never worked i need to get a new perspective on stuff.. i dont see myself in a call center since i can make the same money playing nl10 with no hussle but volunteering is totally diferent experience.

I could have written the same, just that I am 23 yo

Go to school
Get a job
Become a baller at whatever you do
Win at life

+1 on quitting video games. Huge waste of time without any real benefit unless you're 13.

did not read the answers but
dude you live at your parents, nothing to pay
go back to school and get a job
thats all
you talk like you had alot on your shoulders when you actually have nothing to worry about, except your parents getting tired and kicking you out of their house
so just go back to school, some people can help you to find a vocation
your life isnt shit man, you just havent started it apparently...

On April 24 2013 18:34 TheTrees wrote: Show nested quote + On April 24 2013 17:02 xicotaSLB wrote: hi, some of you may know me i´ve been playing poker on and off, and in the past months i didnt dedicate anytime to it, im 22 no college degree living in parents house and i do 0 for a living, my days are in front of the pc playing LoL and sc2 waiting for the day to go visit my (ex)-gf who lives 200km apart. and there i do the same... since i spend almost no money and had some from poker i didnt have any worrys, heres the thing, she broke up with me for that and many other reasons... i know i wont get my first love back thats not the point here, the point is what should i do now? im depressed and i just dont see myself getting a degree and working the office 9/5 thingy... in september i want to try and join aircraft maintenance but there is still a long time to go, i feel like this is my shot to get shit together, should i try poker again?? (never got past nl100) It's called ditch the video games and grow up. That's reality. No one is going to come and magically help you. I'm sure you have a million excuses for why stuff hasn't panned out (i.e. poker). Bottom line is that you're responsible for your own life. You know what you have to do to improve yourself, but you don't have the will to change. Seriously, step one is to delete every video game. Step two depends on your personal goals. Which you may need to sit down and figure out what you actually want to do with your life.

Agree with this. You seem to already have the right mentality, you're just struggling to take the first step towards a productive lifestyle which with your right mentality will happen naturally after you have no more games in your life.

Sounds familiar to my story in a lot of ways.

My suggestion is hit the streets and start applying for sales jobs. It will probably be a lowly shitty sales job at first, but if you apply yourself and show results you can take that sales experience elsewhere. Good salesmen get noticed. If you want to go back to school, give it go... But there are plenty of companies out there that will reimburse or outright pay you to go to school.

Start volunteering in your community - join an organization. Both are great for networking as well as getting yourself to get going; basically kicking your ass into gear. I think to many people out there (including myself) hate who they are and instead of attempting to do anything about it, we'd rather keep floating on in life hating ourselves because you know you can do more but you don't - it's always tomorrow.

No one can make you do today what you want to do tomorrow except yourself.

One of my biggest issues that I still have is that I remember every single shitty thing I've ever done in my life, but make no room for personal accomplishments and I take praise and compliments in the most awkward and horrendous manner.

Also a big thing that I think holds a lot of people back (myself included once again) is we see our lives as this huge fucking mess and we clearly see most problems we have with ourselves and say holy shit, that's a lot and I'd really rather not deal with any of that. Pick small goals to accomplish and to build off of that.

best of luck

edit - some background on myself (inc wall of text crit)


Introvert - inside my own head so often I generally turn to (and still regrettably do more than I don't) alcohol at almost any function with family or friends.
I half heartily applied and got hired at a bank; for almost a year I was still just kind of floating through. Until I looked at it as an experiment (sounds silly but it worked for me anyways). I took a look from the outside and started to really analyze myself (which I was so use to doing in social situations ie parties or bars) and I began to imagine a what if. What if I applied myself, what if I tried this sales strategy, what if I attempted this to help with customer service. From that point I went from an under-performing teller to the #3 banker in a 8 state district within a year.

I used to tell my boss I'm only pretending to drink the koolaid, about 6 months after becoming #3 banker I was offered a job in the technology side of the bank (which I had job shadowed for at the beginning of my experiment and kept in contact with the manager as well as a few of the people who I job-shadowed with) but not before my retail district manager offered to give me another promotion and have me become a licensed banker (which was very tempting) but I politely declined the offer and I'm sure if I wanted to she would hire me back in a second with the job she originally offered, I know this because I still am in contact with my old managers, co-workers, and some clients. Anyways - I didn't have the experience or the min qualifications for the technology job, but I had my sales background (which surprisingly comes in handy with nearly everything outside of sales) as well as my contact with the hiring manager. Now 8 months or so into the new position and I really can say I enjoy it a lot. Probably not something I'm going to do for a long time, and I'm already looking up for my next jump. Also have two mentors which I have found through work as well as family - Both EXTREMELY helpful. When I have a question regarding my career and helping me (forcing me) to network more and meet more people (I've joined an organization and I've already logged 45 hours volunteer time this year - which is more than my 20 hours I did in total last year).



I have a lot of things I still want to change, but it's nice to look back over the past few years and see movement in the right direction; I don't use the terms big strides or steps because that's not the case, it was small steps everyday that got me where I am and that's how it might help you to look at it.

Pretty simple, If you have no self control when playing games then you need to stop playing them. Everything else should fall into place when you find yourself extremely bored with plenty of free time.

On April 25 2013 03:53 DaEm0niCuS wrote: Pretty simple, If you have no self control when playing games then you need to stop playing them. Everything else should fall into place when you find yourself extremely bored with plenty of free time.

This is so true btw, when you play competitive games you always seem to have time pressure no matter how little you do because you need to play them to get better and you always have achievements to accomplish

team games are the worst, it's like porn for the soul you can be a hero, talk to others, be a supportive character, villain, comebacks etc. all without much effort

22 year old no age

On April 24 2013 18:08 xicotaSLB wrote: my ex and me were best friends for years (i am the only one she told she got raped... sad story just an example of trust), we just treated each other poorly after we were BFs (i kinda cheated on her 4 months ago she forgave but never forgot..), i dont see myself loving another person for sometime, but yeah i feel that urge to connect to girls to try and mask the pain, i just thought it was a bad idea since after that ends i would go back to square one, i am wrong apparently..

how did u manage to cheat on her if u never go out / meet people?

anyway gl with all.

Try and be like Itachi, he's one of the best role models out there I think.

Don't be so afraid of 9-5 just because you start to work doesn't mean you will do it for the rest of your life.

No point in uninstalling games if you're gonna keep playing poker. It's also a game and since you are not a professional you don't need to do it. What's going to happen is that you will use it to escape the new responsibilities you will be trying to build up. If you are so desperate to change your life and habits be sure to do it properly (eliminating all vice-inducing activities) or it will fail.

I'm not really here to give you advice but I'm wondering if it's the best time for you to try to drastically change your habits. If you're still suffering from your break up you're probably better off just distracting yourself with whatever holds your attention best until time heals it (which is probably games). And contrary to what people say here, I don't think you need another girl to be that distraction. It can bring other painful feelings and your goal is to heal. It strikes me as vulgar also to plan such a thing; people don't exist just to be used to satisfy our needs. Honestly, if it were me I'd just keep doing whatever you're doing. A little longer wouldn't hurt more than it already has. I'd just start diminishing the amount of gaming/PC time and replacing it with reading because the sooner you start the better your attention span will become. Reading regularly should be an anchor for everyone trying to live a stable, productive life, but you can't do it well without easing into it first. You don't need to be so drastic about it, just transition into it knowing that with practice you'll be able to do it more easily over time.

@Marius an anime character cannot be a role model because he doesn't exist. If you're serious about aspiring to be like an anime character (who lives in a fantasy world) you have a lot of growing up to do.

On April 24 2013 20:20 Enigma wrote: Go to school Get a job Become a baller at whatever you do Win at life

Well I guess I am giving advice after all, because I would strongly suggest not listening to people who give you these generic "go to school, get a job" responses. It won't help if you don't find the studies or work meaningful. It's not something these people can know, only you can. If it's not what you want it'll just amount to the same drudgery you're trying to get yourself out of but in a social context instead.

I was re-listening to Alan Watts randomly yesterday and the simple things he has to say about all of this is what I think is the most insightful. I don't really believe there are "winners" at life but the people who follow this man's advice here are as close as it gets:

Prepare yourself for aircraft maintenance then.

never heard of Alan Watts but he seems pretty accurate there. Just 4 months ago i was striving to work 8 hours a day playing poker to get SNE, but even though its a game i enjoy it still was work that was uncreative and unproductive work, since i was 8 tabling zoom and on autopilot. The fact that poker doesn't make any true wealth for society was bad enough, but now i wasn't even making true wealth(not money, enrichment of creativity and my brain) for myself. The way i'm living atm is playing poker 4 hours a day (4 tabling) and devoting another 4 hours or so to things that create some sort of true wealth or happiness or just something i enjoy doing, and this is just what makes me happy. Or is the least suffering way to live as as locos buddy Schopenhauer would say.

Anyway, don't forget money is not what true wealth is a lot of the time, it's not what builds societies and makes people happy. Human creativity is. And trying to strive for money beyond your needs will just create more will for more money.

Yeah, Alan Watts is basically saying you shouldn't lose sight of what you actually really feel like doing just because you have to make a living and that thing might not really help, or at least not before you become a master of it. I think this is what most people do, they will go for what will give them the most comfortable lives because that was the path their parents took, rather than the one that risks fulfilling them the most. It seems obvious to me that it's a mistake.

There's the issue of the people who don't really know what it is that makes them happy, or who have a propensity to be depressed and find life very difficult. This is where I think Schopenhauer's life advice is really beneficial.

Speaking of him, OP might want to watch this considering his situation (other parts are on Youtube as well, first two parts are in the wrong order though, it starts at 2 of 4):

Loco, stop bein a cunt lol.

Was a coinflip between Alan and Itachi, still think Itachi is a pretty good choice.

And I still think you missed the point that an anime character can only be a role model to a child with a lot of imagination. Sorry if the truth stings a little I guess.