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GoldRush   United States. Dec 16 2013 23:29. Posts 1025

Fayth I maybe dillusional. I will obviously never quit. MNJ hit it square, im 10 yrs in, ain't nothin stoppin this train. Thats how that one goes bud. I am not crazy, my mother had me tested! (bbt)

im a lil nutso i know this, most of you guys wont eat thousands of hits of LSD and Extacy, but your brain chemistry becomes very unstable after doing so. Coupled with BiPolar, I'm thankful to be quite sane most the time.

I think this blog pissed some people off for a few reasons, I'm happy I can ruffle feathers.

Obviously you're words are thrown at a brick wall if you think I would ever stop.

How quickly do the trolls forget how hard I crush MTT's and that I am a winning CG player as well now which just makes me lethal in my perspective.

well thx for the support from like 1 person LOL

u guys are so cynical and act like u give a shit when u just wanna derail, everything.

GL !
Ryan




GoldRush   United States. Dec 16 2013 23:35. Posts 1025

Its tough for me to deal with my own life on a day to day basis, poker is kinda my release guys. Using it for income is fine, I don't care to make millions or that stuff, in the height of my dillusions I did.

Now I just wanna grind out as much as possible rise limits and do things right.

I never did things right before, I didn't know how to, nor did I have the control.

Nobody acknowledges how I've done things right for years, sure I slip sometimes, but I've been on the right path doing things right, so ya, hate all you want. without haters, then i wouldn't be making an impact.

if you think that is advice, its more of a mob of people agreeing and slandering.

that just makes me laugh.

happy i inspire you,
guess i'll leave u guys alone if this is the responses I get when I respond to a Q+A.

I personally love the game, I make enough to live happily.

Its poker or manual labor for me, Poker rules all over manual labor and working in the cold.

Thats that.

GL Everyone,
Ryan


GoldRush   United States. Dec 16 2013 23:51. Posts 1025

last post for me in this thread;

i actually did quit playing before. i got extremely depressed and had no feeling of self worth when I quit. It was terrible. Its factual that its better for me to be grinding doing something productive, than to quit and be a drug addict.

It was a lil over a year ago, i quit for like a month or so.

i've quit (1) time and it made me realize poker and my friends and family is pretty much all I got , so i better make the best of it.

When Black Friday Happened, something similar happened as well. I was walking around like a zombie that wanted to die 24/7.

some of us were born to just play poker and have fun, others were born for more. in a nutshell, thats what i do, i play poker, have fun, help my friends with psychological stuff, stuff like that.

I should start re-reading my posts on here so they are coherant, I Guess I come off as crazy or whatever. Truth is, I just have a short temper. I'm working on that lol.


GoldRush   United States. Dec 16 2013 23:58. Posts 1025


  On December 16 2013 12:50 Fayth wrote:
you're saying you've matured a lot and changed a lot

then you proceed to post you're a lil crazy and literally stoned 24/7, your delusion is infinite ryan

good luck



Do you not know anyone thats a pothead? LOL. I have grown a ton, me smokin weed has nothing to do with my personal growth sir.

I have changed from a spoiled little bitch to a man that has responsiblities, makes sacrifices, works harder, has goals, etc. Before I was just waking up and winging my life daily.


Skoal   Canada. Dec 17 2013 00:14. Posts 460


bigredhoss   Cook Islands. Dec 17 2013 00:43. Posts 8649

skoal is def the best poster in neilly blogs

Truck-Crash Life 

Daut    United States. Dec 17 2013 02:39. Posts 8955


  On December 16 2013 22:29 GoldRush wrote:
Fayth I maybe dillusional. I will obviously never quit. MNJ hit it square, im 10 yrs in, ain't nothin stoppin this train. Thats how that one goes bud. I am not crazy, my mother had me tested! (bbt)

im a lil nutso i know this, most of you guys wont eat thousands of hits of LSD and Extacy, but your brain chemistry becomes very unstable after doing so. Coupled with BiPolar, I'm thankful to be quite sane most the time.

I think this blog pissed some people off for a few reasons, I'm happy I can ruffle feathers.

Obviously you're words are thrown at a brick wall if you think I would ever stop.

How quickly do the trolls forget how hard I crush MTT's and that I am a winning CG player as well now which just makes me lethal in my perspective.

well thx for the support from like 1 person LOL

u guys are so cynical and act like u give a shit when u just wanna derail, everything.

GL !
Ryan






your blogs dont piss anyone off (anymore). nobody here is angry at you. you may be a delusional, incomprehensible little nincompoop but youre our little delusional incomprehensible nincompoop. everyone posting sounds concerned, worried, etc.

NewbSaibot: 18 TIMES THE SPEED OF LIGHT. Because FUCK YOU, Daut 

PplusAD   Germany. Dec 17 2013 03:09. Posts 7180


  On December 17 2013 01:39 Daut wrote:

your blogs dont piss anyone off (anymore). nobody here is angry at you. you may be a delusional, incomprehensible little nincompoop but youre our little delusional incomprehensible nincompoop. everyone posting sounds concerned, worried, etc.



True
why would anyone hate on you in 2013 ?

few years ago it was different

The time u were annoying was 2009-2010 something when u had debts but instead of paying them back you, gambeld away your money at stakes u should not ever play.
When u always complained about how you hate your life and yet crushed another bankroll instead of playing it save. (remember the times where u did build up 2-15K BRs in a week like regularly and then crush it away in 1-2 days.... over and over again)
when you and this other longterm LP member guy (dont know his name anymore but he has been almost as delusional as you) argued about who of you two is the best in low stakes sngs... when in fact both of you were always broke.


In 2013 you are just a guy who seeks happiness and is having a hard time in Life.
To most us here it seems pretty obvious that you do the same mistakes over and over again.
Many people here think u could have a much easier time reaching happiness quitting what you do and getting a stable income from a real job.


I bet my ass that in case u do get a halfway decent part time job the quality of your life will increase more than you think is possible

U see what i did there with A8 ? He 4 bets and there we go insta jam A8 : ---booooom -- . hahahaha ( Krantz) 

Darace   France. Dec 17 2013 03:11. Posts 255


  On December 16 2013 06:02 GoldRush wrote:
and I have learned to be very good at PLO as wel




napoleono   Romania. Dec 17 2013 05:17. Posts 771


  On December 17 2013 01:39 Daut wrote:
your blogs dont piss anyone off (anymore). nobody here is angry at you. you may be a delusional, incomprehensible little nincompoop but youre our little delusional incomprehensible nincompoop. everyone posting sounds concerned, worried, etc.



Awww,,,


GameOverNoob   Canada. Dec 17 2013 10:40. Posts 961

Exercise, a healthy diet, and a well planned out routine makes a great difference for people with mental illnesses.

As for poker, there's never a need for a stake if you're not in a financially tough situation that demands fast money. Start at the bottom, and grind your way back up, only moving up in stakes when it's appropriate. If you have 100 buy ins for a game, you should never go broke.

Do right and kill everything.

@lehgoboy 

traxamillion   United States. Dec 17 2013 16:04. Posts 10468

LSD wont really affect you mentally longterm but thousands of E-pills will.

Let me know how AC poker goes I was thinking of doing the same but kinda just hoping it comes to California soon.

If you have money on Bovada lets play some HU PLO sngs


RaiNKhAN    United States. Dec 17 2013 17:53. Posts 4080


  On December 17 2013 09:40 GameOverNoob wrote:
Exercise, a healthy diet, and a well planned out routine makes a great difference for people with mental illnesses.




Any remedy for thousands of pills of X? LOL

The biggest Rockets, Sixers, and Grizzlies fan you will ever meet! 

GameOverNoob   Canada. Dec 17 2013 19:14. Posts 961


  On December 17 2013 16:53 RaiNKhAN wrote:
Show nested quote +



Any remedy for thousands of pills of X? LOL


A hammer to the head.

@lehgoboy 

NewbSaibot   United States. Dec 17 2013 22:54. Posts 4946

Only thing that concerns me is I detect a change in Ryan's speech patterns lately. Pretty much every since he dropped the stake he seems to write erratically. He confesses to being on a $300 bankroll paying all his own bills and grinding $3 tournaments. This is not possible. For someone to think it is kinda shows an air of desperation, like they havent faced reality and admitted they lost, and that this poker thing just isnt working out. He's almost too jubilant about it all, a sort of "tra la la" attitude about what should be very dire circumstances. Usually people reach this "0 fucks given" attitude once they are over the edge, through the downward spiral. Like someone on suicide watch. They say the #1 thing to watch out for is when they suddenly become at peace, are happy again, and start giving away all their shit, expressing high levels of generosity. It's because they already know where the end is, and it's aisle 4 on the "bullet train" express out of town.

Ryan is just being unrealistically positive about life right now. "Gotta grind bros, it's in muh blood, living da life, dont care if I go broke or make millions, I was born this way baby woo hoo!" It's just kinda fake in a way, which is scary. Right now he should be depressed as fuck, scared shitless, and planning an escape strategy just in case. Instead he's just off in la la land doing whatever, talking about playing 1/2 live on the side, etc.

Just because you cant play fulltime poker right now doesnt mean it's over Ryan. It's fine to have a "I never quit" attitude, but it's also fine to regroup and resupply. Go home man. Get some peace from your family and friends. Get a part time job to supplement your income. Continue to take shots on the side. You dont have to grind 100 hrs a week to "make it" in poker. You're probably working harder than any pro alive at the moment, and it hasnt gotten you anything. Take some notes on how other pro's live their lives and learn from them, they must be doing something write, and killing themselves over nanostakes poker is not part of it. You'll figure something out eventually, but this current trend is kinda psycho.

bye now 

Skoal   Canada. Dec 17 2013 23:11. Posts 460

^ this post just gave me aids


NewbSaibot   United States. Dec 17 2013 23:55. Posts 4946


  On December 17 2013 22:11 Skoal wrote:
^ this post just gave me aids



bye now 

Nazgul    Netherlands. Dec 18 2013 08:36. Posts 7080

You almost twin-caracked his AK - JonnyCosmo 

 
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