There is a lot of suffering and misery in life - Page 2

On July 21 2019 01:09 Loco wrote:

lol brilliant

On July 25 2019 02:35 RiKD wrote: I'm a little high from painting but I ran out of canvas so I decided to come here. I should note that work today was unpleasant. I was making pizzas the whole time and didn't get any sort of break. It's more fun to talk about painting though. These oil sticks are great! It's a lot of fun mixing and matching the acrylic paint and the oil sticks. I love drawing too. That is my first love but you don't get the technique or the colors as you do in painting. I just need to keep working on different techniques. I'm strongly considering getting some lessons. Maybe that's all I have to say. I just have nothing to do and want to keep grooving. Are security guards needed at a music festival? I found this tonight while painting. It was one of those perfect times of life: If I was retired I would fly around going to protests. Gilet jaunes fighting !!! I still want to organize that music festival in Vexin, France but it seems impossible. When I paint things aren't impossible. I am free. Anything is possible. I think the high is wearing off. I'm still listening to great music but I realize I am now writing on a blog of little consequence. k bye.

why the question about guards? you want to work while listening to good music? great song btw i love it..

Just a question. I imagine a music festival with out security guards. A self policing area.

In fact, I imagine an anarchist music festival. It would be a first step.

Happiness is so elusive. It is not a lasting state. These days I equivocate happiness with painting. I went out got a bunch of supplies ie. toys to play with, had a bad ass Thai red curry, and painted most of the day. Now what? Now what? Now what? Now what? Tomorrow I go back to work. It will be work. Days at work almost seem like wasted days. I need them to survive but sheesh. I would clean toilets in an anarchist society. If it was setup that every 10 days you clean toilets for 4 hours I wouldn't have a problem with it. Meaning everyone in the world had the same duties. Although I realize I am just taking this every 10 days at 4 hours completely out of my ass. I really have no idea how much manpower it takes to keep bathrooms clean.


God, I wish I could play jazz or play any instrument. Can't do everything in the world though. Not going to happen. I'll take painting. That is more my speed. Painting and activism. I am getting closer. I am still short on the activism but I am getting closer.

One of my paintings was of Mexie today. She has been a consistent muse for me pretty much all of 2019 and before. I liked how it turned out but there are definitely some happy accidents. Some that turned out better than I expected. Others that it's whatever.

I am listening to some Sun Ra. Good music to listen to high but it's pretty good sober too.

Now, I'm listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn and I want to burn my guitar.

I painted 4 paintings today. 2 are finished and I like them. The other 2 are unfinished and one is shit and the other is kinda interesting but I don't know what to do next.

Constant craving. I really should start meditating again. So much bullshit in the world. It seems to just pass in sitting. Yet, at the same time Rage Against the Machine just came on and doing deadlifts to Rage is one of the great joys of the world. Deadlifts, kettlebell swings and then some vegan Indian curry.

Now, we got some Portishead. Portishead in the crib.

I am getting sick of porn. The contorted poses. The fucking jackhammering. The fake orgasms starting from penis insertion. If I'm horny enough it doesn't matter but then post orgasm I snap out of it and I am like what the fuck is this shit?

This is how I'm spending my time. Listening to music and occasionally writing stuff on here... I'm listening to some Spotify mix like Check Your Headphones and some of these songs are fucking krunk. Thanks to my super nice headphones.

Hans Zimmer in the motherfucking house!

I should paint to some Hans fucking Zimmer.

I want to paint more but I am sleepy. I don't know if I have it in me. Plus, I have been painting a bunch of portraits and I feel like that gets played out. I need inspiration ya know?

Hero

she took it down because she was getting harassed

Whats up with the pic?

Google Greta Thunberg

The school strike is brilliant. A lot of the parents are going to be like "well, what about our kids' futures?!?!?!?" Yeah, what the fuck about your kids' futures?

"I am doing this because you adults are shitting on my future"

The painting has stopped and now I am incredibly lonely. It's too late to go to anything involving other people that I know of. Not that I would go anyway. Everything feels played out and I am left with nothing. I painted Edgar Morin today. I think that was my favorite painting of the day. I think I painted 5 paintings today. It's all I did today besides chores and eating some Thai Hot vegan Thai curry. Maybe that's why the comedown is so brutal. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to come on here and kind of write out my comedown.

I have a vision of an anarchist musical festival. It doesn't actually have to be some grand thing in Vexin, France like are in my wildest dreams. The state and private property still weigh down on us like a thousand state buildings. One thousand Cadillac Escalades.

The Bourgeois just as scared as anybody else. More deluded. Clutching and craving at anything they can find. No that 4br and 3 bath isn't going to make you that much happier. Who's going to clean the damn thing? Does driving an Acura really make you that much tougher on the streets? Laughable man. HA HA. Follow the magazines. Follow the magazines. You have to get the magazines to follow the magazines! Conde Naste is your Higher Power. Consume until the hole in your soul disappears. It may blot out the consciousness for a mere chunk of time but it will be back I assure you. Don't laugh at Christ. Don't you ever fucking laugh at Jesus fucking Christ. Unless he's being funny. I bet Jesus was a real funny guy. I think I became a really serious person when I was practicing Buddhism deeply. I am not really sure which way to go next. In this blog post or in life. I tried painting Marion Cotillard today. It looks nothing like her but whoever I painted is beautiful.

I don't want to be in this thing alone. I want to be in this thing together. It's like I am accepting brief online interactions to nourish my soul when what it really takes is the real thing. The Really Real thing. No, not a sexual relationship with Sasha Grey but that would probably help too.

I don't see how air travel is going to cease. Or, how we are going to stop the fossil fuels companies. I am not even really up to date on the facts of the matter. I am part of the problem. I am like some bloody libhurl on this issue. A fucking centrist. SMH. I should really care too. My parent's home or part of my inheritance is going to be under water in 2040-2050. If we are just being self-centered and selfish about the issue which I think at the end of the day most people are. Which always amazes me how selfish and self-centered baby boomers are.

Oh well. It's only the future as we know it am I right?.......... Yet, I am really no different. Educate. Agitate. Organize. I'm not all that educated on the matter (more than most but blah blah blah), Greta has agitated me quite well. She's done her job well. Now, it's time to organize....................... crickets. Fuck. FUck fuvkckfuckfuckfuck. I hate myself sometimes. Like, when I am compulsively lying in bed because I don't want to feed my cats or take my medications or water the plants. I don't want to put toast in the toaster or simply make coffee. When I paint I'm free. The problem is all the other hours of the day especially on days I'm working.

We all die so we have to figure out a way to cope and live. Maybe it is easy for some. I really don't understand it.

I did 7 paintings today.

Marion Cotillard, Vexin Festival, Edgar Morin, Sasha Grey, Jesus, Byung-Chul Han, and then one kind of stupid one that I basically just wasted paint and a canvas.

I am now out of canvas. The stores are all closed. What am I going to do with myself.

Disgusting. Agitating. What the fuck print is that the fucking Robb Report?