Thoughts: Just my thoughts at the time - Page 2

As long as I am in quarantine I am going to be depressed. That just feels like how it is going to go.

God damn it, now I am listening to deadmau5 and Kaskade and feel so alone.

I did start on a trans rights painting which is ok. I didn't know how big to make the boobs and the eyebrows turned out really thick because I used the wrong paint brush. I hope transwomen would not be offended. They are like Frida Kahlo eyebrows with out the unibrow. Frida Kahlo is an absolute hero in my book so . . . but I don't think most if any transgender women would want bushy eyebrows. Oh well.

I am a fucking addict. I've literally spent all day either painting and cooking because it brings me away. My life is a mess. I have no idea what I am doing but when I cook, when I eat, when I fuck my hand, when I paint, when I dance, I am away from it all. I made some bomb fucking ass vegetarian chili. I eat about a bar of dark chocolate a day. I hug my cats. I fuck my hand. I paint. I paint. I paint. I can't smoke the greenest endo leaf so I fucking paint. I don't even fucking care if it's good or bad. Fuck good or bad. Who the fuck is Cezanne? I don't know that fucking guy I just paint because I'm a fucking addict. THE HIGH. Would I do anything for the high? fuck it doesn't matter fuck this I need to find something to paint........

I'm an honorary Pittsburghian... BLACK AND YELLOW, BLACK AND YELLOW, BLACK AND YELLOW, BLACK AND YELLOW.

I've actually been in a 3some before. With a white woman and an asian woman. It didn't do much for me about 15 sec. after and it isn't doing much for me now.

I only have a white belt, and yellow belt and a brown belt. I should have had my black belt but I was dumb. Sometimes I just want all of the drugs. I am just writing this blog to FEEL something. Who knows when I can get some sleep.