I am an addict - Page 2

On October 09 2021 00:53 RiKD wrote: Social observation live is a very important skill. Stalking people is just being a freak and a very weird dude. LinkedIn does not matter. I haven't used it seriously since 2013 besides some guy wanting me to go sell stuff to foundries in Wisconsin this year which is legitimate since that company tried to recruit me in the past. It's the only reason I remembered I even had a LinkedIn. I wish I had the balls to turn my LinkedIn account into performance art with out being manic but I just do not think that is the case.

I brought it up not because your LinkedIn or even your pic like I said.

I just wanted to highlight an instance of you (and Loco probably) normalizing this existentialism byungshin chul han stuff. Its just...not normal and I'd imagine its affecting your life negatively.

I just don't see how you blame mental illness for all of your troubles.

Common logic. You are experiencing 95 percentile outlier results -->> let's look for 95 percentile outlier input variables -->> clearly this existentialism stuff is a part of that equation. Yet you are convinced its helping you rather than hurting you it just blows my mind. This is why I say Loco has been like a rasputin in your life.

The most dangerous serial killer in history was this guy Charles Cullen who was a nurse and obv if a person thinks what is curing them is actually hurting them that is a very dangerous thing.

He has already told you that he was reading and thinking about this stuff before I ever commented on his stuff, you just don't listen. And aren't all kids asked to read about existentialism in fucking high school in the US? Why do you make it sound like I've given him some rare poison apple when it's basic curriculum shit that even kids are asked to think about.

It's easy for you or people with very little self-awareness to say "put this philosophy crap aside and live life". For the rest of people it's very much a case of not being able to unsee something you have seen, of having to scratch an itch that comes back regularly because hey -- we are mortals and we cannot always suppress the fact of our mortality from conscious awareness. You don't itch because you have no depth as a person.

But hey apparently Adam Lanza used to listen to some of my YouTube videos so you must be right - I produce mentally ill, possible serial killers with my thoughts. What a power.

On October 09 2021 14:31 Loco wrote: He has already told you that he was reading and thinking about this stuff before I ever commented on his stuff, you just don't listen. And aren't all kids asked to read about existentialism in fucking high school in the US? Why do you make it sound like I've given him some rare poison apple when it's basic curriculum shit that even kids are asked to think about. It's easy for you or people with very little self-awareness to say "put this philosophy crap aside and live life". For the rest of people it's very much a case of not being able to unsee something you have seen, of having to scratch an itch that comes back regularly because hey -- we are mortals and we cannot always suppress the fact of our mortality from conscious awareness. You don't itch because you have no depth as a person. But hey apparently Adam Lanza used to listen to some of my YouTube videos so you must be right - I produce mentally ill, possible serial killers with my thoughts. What a power.

Its not that simple you dumbass Loco as much as RiKD is mentally retarded and delusional about your relationship you are very much in denial as well.

First of all you are clinging to the words of denial of a self proclaimed addict that lashes out at me whenever things get too inconvenient so that he can self preserve himself. That's a bit strange isn't it. Imo you have an strange addiction to this that is hard to understand. 0 questioning the words of "an addict". Imagine going to a heroin addict and saying "heroin is your problem" and when the guy says "no its not" you just say "oh ok then great!!" Amazing job there buddy.

I have no idea what he means by he was thinking about xyz before you. Before direct communication with you? Before what exactly. Before his poker downfall anf coming onto this site totally? Before online poker/joining LP? What if he was influenced by your dumb posts about kierkegadd or whatever just browsing through lp even though you guys didn't really talk.. Idk what the hell he means but again I love how you are taking the word of a person that is clearly deranged,an addict etc with 0 sense to audit anything just cause its convenient for you. To me its better to just eliminate the fuzz of when exactly and how much xyz is included by Loco and how much is not and just see the big picture and its clear to me that you have negatively influenced his life and contributed to his deterioration.

You enabled and exacerbated his dumb philosophy by 1)giving him much more dumb things to read 2) creating a companion in his dumb philosophy journey. Even if it is a online companion its a companion. People need some companionship, (think tom hanks in castaway with that volleyball). 3) I'm sure there are a bunch of other weird voodoo spells you cast on this poor dude but I'm not a voodoo master like you so idk

You are an addict yourself, so why should I listen to anything you say, according to your own logic? You have openly said you were addicted to clicking on his blogs when you see them. Openly said you were a sex addict. You openly blogged about being depressed and lost. Hell, you even live with your parents. Just how different are you from RiKD really? You both spend an inordinate amount of time concerning yourselves with what is going on in other people's lives. It's disturbing to me.

On October 09 2021 17:47 Loco wrote: You are an addict yourself, so why should I listen to anything you say, according to your own logic? You have openly said you were addicted to clicking on his blogs when you see them. Openly said you were a sex addict. You openly blogged about being depressed and lost. Hell, you even live with your parents. Just how different are you from RiKD really? You both spend an inordinate amount of time concerning yourselves with what is going on in other people's lives. It's disturbing to me.

Why are you such a dumbass. I'm sorry that your dumb ideas are poisonous and actual ppl around you have committed suicide.

You can try and point out my "flaws" all you want but society would be much better off if there were more of me and less of you. The truth is I am a much more well rounded and stable person than you I but I guess since you blame your "narcissist daddy" for your life and refuse to live with him and instead a rathole apartment with roommates I guess that makes you an adult and makes me some derelict wowz.

Which world is that? The world where prostitutes earn the highest income out of all professions?

On October 09 2021 20:43 Loco wrote: Which world is that? The world where prostitutes earn the highest income out of all professions?

The normal world where I'm a functional adult and you are a degenerate lol.

I don't know why I am back here this fine morning. So much potential. I spent pretty much all day yesterday helping a friend move and then going out and finding myself amidst some heavy flirting with a real life female in the wild. So so so much better than coming back here to this bullshit. Oh well, I have to let this caffeine kick in and food settle so I can move more shit today.

I was a very early reader but was reading Tolkein and fantasy. I did not like reading for school but had suicidal ideations before 15. I also liked to smoke a lot of weed and get into philosophical discussion around the same age. I wanted to major in philosophy in university but was too afraid to. I don't remember when I started interacting with Loco but I had already tackled much of Dostoevsky, Nietzsche, Sartre, Kant, Rawls, Beckett, Camus, Joyce, Nabokov, Amis, Nozick, Jarveson, Gauthier, Dalrymple, etc. etc. None of those names mean anything to you anyways so I will move on. I don't know why I never interacted with Loco. Probably because he was doing his thing while I was doing my thing. It was probably Cioran or Benetar or Schopenhauer or any of the names I already mentioned that linked us.

I don't blame mental illness on all my problems. I blame being born against my consent on all my problems.

I would probably be dead if there were not great philosophy and great literature in the world. I do not really see a life without it. Meaning given my pscyhe I gravitate towards great philosophy and great literature probably 100% of the time. Even if I dropped out of high school and was working at a factory 60 hours a week I would still find it.

The Sartre and Beckett was introduced to me by a right-winger who had $10 million+ and retired by 25. Haralabob has all of this stuff in his bookcase and credits it to his success. There are no arguments against reading only rationalizations.

Heroin is a symptom. You take away the heroin and don't treat the underlying problems of why this person is doing heroin it is not going to end well. But that is probably yet another discussion no one would like to have with hiems.

Functional adults do not live with their parents in their 30s.

On October 10 2021 10:43 RiKD wrote: I don't know why I am back here this fine morning. So much potential. I spent pretty much all day yesterday helping a friend move and then going out and finding myself amidst some heavy flirting with a real life female in the wild. So so so much better than coming back here to this bullshit. Oh well, I have to let this caffeine kick in and food settle so I can move more shit today. I was a very early reader but was reading Tolkein and fantasy. I did not like reading for school but had suicidal ideations before 15. I also liked to smoke a lot of weed and get into philosophical discussion around the same age. I wanted to major in philosophy in university but was too afraid to. I don't remember when I started interacting with Loco but I had already tackled much of Dostoevsky, Nietzsche, Sartre, Kant, Rawls, Beckett, Camus, Joyce, Nabokov, Amis, Nozick, Jarveson, Gauthier, Dalrymple, etc. etc. None of those names mean anything to you anyways so I will move on. I don't know why I never interacted with Loco. Probably because he was doing his thing while I was doing my thing. It was probably Cioran or Benetar or Schopenhauer or any of the names I already mentioned that linked us. I don't blame mental illness on all my problems. I blame being born against my consent on all my problems. I would probably be dead if there were not great philosophy and great literature in the world. I do not really see a life without it. Meaning given my pscyhe I gravitate towards great philosophy and great literature probably 100% of the time. Even if I dropped out of high school and was working at a factory 60 hours a week I would still find it. The Sartre and Beckett was introduced to me by a right-winger who had $10 million+ and retired by 25. Haralabob has all of this stuff in his bookcase and credits it to his success. There are no arguments against reading only rationalizations. Heroin is a symptom. You take away the heroin and don't treat the underlying problems of why this person is doing heroin it is not going to end well. But that is probably yet another discussion no one would like to have with hiems. Functional adults do not live with their parents in their 30s.

I never interacted with Loco but whenever browsed on LP I saw there was this guy that seemed like he was a smart guy talking about all this random shit. Loco is like a infectious cloud of crazy ideas especially back then when he was alot more vocal thankfully im not infected by anything.

Just take out the 10 million part out. You were introduced by sarte by a 25 year old. Period. I'm not sure why your bringing up these rich ppl like haralobous reading this stuff. These garbage is best suited to the rich that have time to spend and look glamorous and sophisticated.

If I am not a functional adult than idk what that says about the US and world population.

He suggested me Sartre when he was 37 and more than a $10+ millionaire. He began Sartre in undergraduate philosophy at age 18 or so? I bring it up because he is a rich, right-winger that has not had employment for many years now but lives way better than you.

Haralabob also started Sartre at 18 or so in undergraduate philosophy.

I am saying both of them credited Being and Nothingness among others and other philosophers as crucial thought to their development.

It is really funny to me that someone is calling Nietzsche's library for example garbage. My point in bringing up these 2 specific anecdotes is that these 2 young men were poor, then they read a bunch of philosophy that enabled them to live a presumably great life. I would bet all that I have that when they are chillin' on yachts these days they aren't cracking open a well worn Critique of Dialectical Reason at this point. They aren't degenerate poors like Loco and myself and since when would reading The Gay Science be glamorous? Talking about Thus Spake Zarathustra or Being and Nothingness in public would instantly target someone as being like a loser beatnik type of character. The fact that you are so appalled at the fact that there are people reading these books makes me think you have a weird thing going on about it. I met 1 person my whole life that I could actually talk Nietzsche with and that was because he was fluent in German and actually read some of the texts and we would kind of go into a corner and nerd out for a bit but if anyone were to drop in and say hi we would change the subject immediately. Philosophy can be sophisticated (the words and thoughts not necessarily the people reading them) but in what circles is it glamorous? Although if one were to read enough sophisticated words and thoughts the likelihood of trending towards sophisticated seems likely no?

If you were in some Count of MonteChristo situation would ya'll just like go on twitter and do mundane shit all day?

I have always had this attitude that I would rather be the boss or a bum. Luckily, sometimes I've been the boss and now I've been a bum for a minute but at least I'm not in some weird button down collard shirt where they measure the neck and all that bullshit and top it off with some khakis and some bullshit leather shoes.

It's fucked that I rarely go out anymore and flirting gets me excited. It's sad, it's fucked, it's also somewhat cute to me.

Oh well, posting on LP is the definition of mundane shit so I'll have to continue to work on that.

Ciao Bellas

On October 11 2021 03:12 RiKD wrote: He suggested me Sartre when he was 37 and more than a $10+ millionaire. He began Sartre in undergraduate philosophy at age 18 or so? I bring it up because he is a rich, right-winger that has not had employment for many years now but lives way better than you. Haralabob also started Sartre at 18 or so in undergraduate philosophy. I am saying both of them credited Being and Nothingness among others and other philosophers as crucial thought to their development. It is really funny to me that someone is calling Nietzsche's library for example garbage. My point in bringing up these 2 specific anecdotes is that these 2 young men were poor, then they read a bunch of philosophy that enabled them to live a presumably great life. I would bet all that I have that when they are chillin' on yachts these days they aren't cracking open a well worn Critique of Dialectical Reason at this point. They aren't degenerate poors like Loco and myself and since when would reading The Gay Science be glamorous? Talking about Thus Spake Zarathustra or Being and Nothingness in public would instantly target someone as being like a loser beatnik type of character. The fact that you are so appalled at the fact that there are people reading these books makes me think you have a weird thing going on about it. I met 1 person my whole life that I could actually talk Nietzsche with and that was because he was fluent in German and actually read some of the texts and we would kind of go into a corner and nerd out for a bit but if anyone were to drop in and say hi we would change the subject immediately. Philosophy can be sophisticated (the words and thoughts not necessarily the people reading them) but in what circles is it glamorous? Although if one were to read enough sophisticated words and thoughts the likelihood of trending towards sophisticated seems likely no?

Yea now I vaguely remember haralobous being a philosophy major. I don't think you quite get it tho I think you

There's somewhat of a difference in being in some philosophy undergraduate program than being this weird guy that obsessed over philosophy books when it has nothing to do with his career or whatever. Some people just don't know what to major in. I mean you majored in history whats that mean to you really. Imagine you are haralobous a famous guy and its known you were a philosophy major he might just say some good things about it in a interview why are you taking that so overboard.

Your normalizing this philosophy where u write how you want to reduce suffering or whatever and want to talk about it like your some phd with your colleagues isn't normal. Not really sure why thats hard to understand.

If you think those ppls success in capitalism is attributable to their philosophy studies then you are an idiot btw.

I don't think you quite get it though. You don't even really have a clue because you may or may not have ever read a book.

Philosophy has more to do with me than just my career it has to do with my life. Plenty of poker players are into philosophy as well. Galfond, Sauce, Ike, Raptor, et al.

@8:48



Reading must be terrible for you. I do not know why they specifically zoom in on Spinoza, Kierkegaard, Sartre, and Nietzsche but there is probably a reason for it...

I don't know why you are getting so upset about stalking my LinkedIn account which was chronically inactive. Imagine quitting a toxic corporate job and getting sober at the same time and actually telling the truth in a summary and then not using it for like 6 years and some guy is complaining about it like it bothers him that much.

First it was I was a mass shooter writing about ending existential suffering inferring that I was going to kill everyone on the planet. Now, I'm some guy pretending to have a PhD and talking to colleagues. There were no colleagues. The colleagues I did talk to I was just catching up with and not trying to inch my way into any doors. One guy messaged me and I think he was pretty desperate to get a guy to come to Wisconsin to walk around steel mills in the winter to sell stuff. Again, you are a freak and a very weird dude.

I don't think I would want to talk to most PhDs in philosophy. They are pumping out papers for like 10 people in the world to read or are locked in a room somewhere doing obscure logic problems.

So, that wall of a bookcase full of books that Haralabob has read has nothing to do with his success?

Btw, I just remembered that Reid Hoffman the founder of Linked In is a philosophy guy too.

And it is more than just career success in capitalism. They know how to spend their time and focus. I don't necessarily like the word "authentic" because I just don't like the modern day connotations of it but I am talking about authenticity in the way that Heidegger or Sartre talk about it. Being and TIme and Being and Nothingness both are difficult books but if people would understand the important aspects of those books they have a clear leg up in being in existence. If people read those books at age 20 and compound that interest through their 20s and beyond that is a significant power up.

On October 11 2021 13:22 RiKD wrote: I don't think you quite get it though. You don't even really have a clue because you may or may not have ever read a book. Philosophy has more to do with me than just my career it has to do with my life. Plenty of poker players are into philosophy as well. Galfond, Sauce, Ike, Raptor, et al. @8:48 Reading must be terrible for you. I do not know why they specifically zoom in on Spinoza, Kierkegaard, Sartre, and Nietzsche but there is probably a reason for it... I don't know why you are getting so upset about stalking my LinkedIn account which was chronically inactive. Imagine quitting a toxic corporate job and getting sober at the same time and actually telling the truth in a summary and then not using it for like 6 years and some guy is complaining about it like it bothers him that much. First it was I was a mass shooter writing about ending existential suffering inferring that I was going to kill everyone on the planet. Now, I'm some guy pretending to have a PhD and talking to colleagues. There were no colleagues. The colleagues I did talk to I was just catching up with and not trying to inch my way into any doors. One guy messaged me and I think he was pretty desperate to get a guy to come to Wisconsin to walk around steel mills in the winter to sell stuff. Again, you are a freak and a very weird dude. I don't think I would want to talk to most PhDs in philosophy. They are pumping out papers for like 10 people in the world to read or are locked in a room somewhere doing obscure logic problems. So, that wall of a bookcase full of books that Haralabob has read has nothing to do with his success? Btw, I just remembered that Reid Hoffman the founder of Linked In is a philosophy guy too. And it is more than just career success in capitalism. They know how to spend their time and focus. I don't necessarily like the word "authentic" because I just don't like the modern day connotations of it but I am talking about authenticity in the way that Heidegger or Sartre talk about it. Being and TIme and Being and Nothingness both are difficult books but if people would understand the important aspects of those books they have a clear leg up in being in existence. If people read those books at age 20 and compound that interest through their 20s and beyond that is a significant power up.

Lol you got fired from your job you didn't quit u dumbass.

Yea it doesn't. Haralabob got rich off sports gambling and crypto. That was his main interest. Sports gambling and crypto. Not that hard to understand.

I'm not sure what is so hard to understand. You still being convinced this existentialism stuff is somehow a powerlevelup is a very dumb thing.

I'm sorry I looked at your LinkedIn maybe I should have just let you run amuck spreading dumb communist ideas and being suicidal. Idk I just like a good popcorn.jpg. I sometimes listen to truecrime podcast series and really the most pathetic deranged people those are the best episodes and you really fit the bill on that. I guess those ppl who give millions of views to those are just weird. Its us not you. Lol

hiems, you literally have been posting blogs about existential angst and being depressed for a while now. Is it because you are condemned to push a rock up a hill until you die? The fact that you are being in between two nothingnesses? Because God is dead and we killed him? Are you waiting for Godot?

Who knows man. Maybe your "godly" common sense is not all that it is cracked up to be?

This is silly. It is all so silly.

Your salary and your job is a good start but you are squandering it beyond belief. But I think you put in 100% time and effort to get that job and salary which is not impressive at all given that you live in NJ. Maybe you have 10,000 hours in at the ole' Linked In but what are you doing in life?

Yeah, maybe I am struggling. Maybe I live in a glass house but I'll throw stones at you easy. It is what you always fall back on "oh, I make $85k a year (in probably some shitty IT job)" then you rip into me. What are YOU doing bro? The only things you have seemed to ever say is guitar, spanish, gym because you were fat, on and off again with prostitutes. That is fine to cultivate yourself but you don't spend any money and live with your parents you are rotting away. I know because I am rotting away too but at least I am trying to move past my anxieties and getting out there and making people laugh or think about something or even just comfortable, knowing eye contact is better than starting at this damn screen. But I have some down time today to just chill out for a minute and I haven't been off my feet all day so fuck it.

The fact that you keep gaslighting me as some mass shooter or unabomber or true crime character is just absurd. You have to stop that. I mean you are already banned from this blog but you are that much of an annoying weirdo that you found a way to override it and still bombard me with bullshit. It's ridiculous. And yes the people that give truecrime millions of views are weird too. I know I am a little weird and outside of the herd but you lot are fucking weird.

Actually, I will go on to say this. I honestly believe that your anti-philosophy stance is part of the reason you are in mediocre employment with sub-mediocre quality of life and were never any good at poker. Every large winning player I know for the most part would love to have a stimulating discussion on a philosophical thought even one as simple (and complex) as what does the good life entail?

What does the good life entail hiems? Turtling until you are 40? 50? 60? By that time they might have AI experiences better than sex with prostitutes? (Watch the movie HER)

I don't know what you are doing. Move out of your parents' house. Buy some clothes nicer than what the other wage dorks are wearing. Get a personal shopper if you don't know what you are doing. Start going out to venues that you like and slowly become a liked regular. Start spending some money. That is the game you are in whether you like it or not. Making $100k in Houston might up your game. It might be a nice fresh start for you. Women don't really care if you are 8% bodyfat or 16% bodyfat. The hottest Beyoncé I ever fucked I was skinny fat at the time. But there is a feedback loop to having a certain Rodin like stature and it is wise to train so train. I don't know why I vomited this last paragraph up it was just the vibe I was feelin'. Hiems is so close yet so far.

On October 11 2021 20:11 RiKD wrote: hiems, you literally have been posting blogs about existential angst and being depressed for a while now. Is it because you are condemned to push a rock up a hill until you die? The fact that you are being in between two nothingnesses? Because God is dead and we killed him? Are you waiting for Godot? Who knows man. Maybe your "godly" common sense is not all that it is cracked up to be? This is silly. It is all so silly. Your salary and your job is a good start but you are squandering it beyond belief. But I think you put in 100% time and effort to get that job and salary which is not impressive at all given that you live in NJ. Maybe you have 10,000 hours in at the ole' Linked In but what are you doing in life? Yeah, maybe I am struggling. Maybe I live in a glass house but I'll throw stones at you easy. It is what you always fall back on "oh, I make $85k a year (in probably some shitty IT job)" then you rip into me. What are YOU doing bro? The only things you have seemed to ever say is guitar, spanish, gym because you were fat, on and off again with prostitutes. That is fine to cultivate yourself but you don't spend any money and live with your parents you are rotting away. I know because I am rotting away too but at least I am trying to move past my anxieties and getting out there and making people laugh or think about something or even just comfortable, knowing eye contact is better than starting at this damn screen. But I have some down time today to just chill out for a minute and I haven't been off my feet all day so fuck it. The fact that you keep gaslighting me as some mass shooter or unabomber or true crime character is just absurd. You have to stop that. I mean you are already banned from this blog but you are that much of an annoying weirdo that you found a way to override it and still bombard me with bullshit. It's ridiculous. And yes the people that give truecrime millions of views are weird too. I know I am a little weird and outside of the herd but you lot are fucking weird. Actually, I will go on to say this. I honestly believe that your anti-philosophy stance is part of the reason you are in mediocre employment with sub-mediocre quality of life and were never any good at poker. Every large winning player I know for the most part would love to have a stimulating discussion on a philosophical thought even one as simple (and complex) as what does the good life entail? What does the good life entail hiems? Turtling until you are 40? 50? 60? By that time they might have AI experiences better than sex with prostitutes? (Watch the movie HER) I don't know what you are doing. Move out of your parents' house. Buy some clothes nicer than what the other wage dorks are wearing. Get a personal shopper if you don't know what you are doing. Start going out to venues that you like and slowly become a liked regular. Start spending some money. That is the game you are in whether you like it or not. Making $100k in Houston might up your game. It might be a nice fresh start for you. Women don't really care if you are 8% bodyfat or 16% bodyfat. The hottest Beyoncé I ever fucked I was skinny fat at the time. But there is a feedback loop to having a certain Rodin like stature and it is wise to train so train. I don't know why I vomited this last paragraph up it was just the vibe I was feelin'. Hiems is so close yet so far.

Lol u are acting like a corned raccoon at this point. I'm not going to seriously entertain your dumb comments because I feel like you are just desperate at this point and self preservation is bringing this out.


I love how u are telling me to go to some bar and waste money on alcohol for no reason that is the dumbest advice ever from an obv dumbass. I can go on and on on why u are a dumbass but I don't like typing on my phone.

Edit: for the record i never said i make 85k a year like some brag lol what ru smoking

From memory, and at least in recent years, you are the only person who has openly announced his salary on liquidpoker (and more than once) without being asked. It's not too difficult to deduce that it means you are bragging about it. It's like if there is only one guy in a large group of guys who mentions the specific size of his dick. It's information that no one cares to have, and the person who cares to give it is compensating for some severe lack elsewhere.

I'll make it very simple for you.

Imagine a weird poker nerd that talks about GTO and shit in situations where it isn't appropriate and normalizes it. This is where rikd is at with philosophy and probably other stuff. You contributed to normalizing this behavior.

Unlike all those other philosophy enthusiasts you disregard all growth in your life for weird stuff like that which isn't normal. Its very clear to me you are a big factor for his deterioration.

Edit : oops deleted my initial reaction to Loco writing this