I am an addict - Page 3

On October 12 2021 17:44 Loco wrote: From memory, and at least in recent years, you are the only person who has openly announced his salary on liquidpoker (and more than once) without being asked. It's not too difficult to deduce that it means you are bragging about it. It's like if there is only one guy in a large group of guys who mentions the specific size of his dick. It's information that no one cares to have, and the person who cares to give it is compensating for some severe lack elsewhere.

Accidently deleted my original reply to this but not going to re write it. your a retard idk what else to say.

On October 12 2021 19:36 hiems wrote: I'll make it very simple for you. Imagine a weird poker nerd that talks about GTO and shit in situations where it isn't appropriate and normalizes it. This is where rikd is at with philosophy and probably other stuff. You contributed to normalizing this behavior. Unlike all those other philosophy enthusiasts you disregard all growth in your life for weird stuff like that which isn't normal. Its very clear to me you are a big factor for his deterioration. Edit : oops deleted my initial reaction to Loco writing this

It's just going around in circles at this point... but I guess the deer are done grazing through my backyard and I have nothing to do until dinner so:

I already told you I never talk about philosophy "in real life" except talk my mom's ear off on walks sometimes which she is only somewhat interested but also my mom so sort of acceptable. I haven't talked philosophy "in real life" in over 5 years with the German speaker who likes Nietzsche. I wish I had more people to talk to then I wouldn't have the inclination to come on LP.

So, you are completely wrong. I never talk about philosophy with friends and that behavior that you assume I am just flooding conversations with philosophy will never be normalized because the serious philosophy conversations I have in real life are so close to zero it might as well be zero. Most people cringe a little bit if they even broach the subject because they are totally out of their element and there is nothing to talk about. I mean maybe bringing up ethics in the right circle could lead to stimulating conversation but probably not. I don't talk about it so there is not even an attempt at "normalizing" it ("in real life". Most of the stuff crosses over into like "high brow" territory but it is not like that with me. Besides my mom making some killer red sauce last night with spaghetti I have dined and mingled with the working class for the most part for as long as I can remember. If I eat out I am at a diner, a dive, or eating fast food. So what if I go home and read Baudrillard or watch some French existential film? Why would I ever try and shoehorn What is Thinking? by Heidegger or The Scent of Time by Byung-Chul Han at dinner unless the topic was a deeper look into thinking and contemplation. That is just never going to happen therefore it is never going to normalize. If I was dating ContraPoints and we were at a Taco Bell and Nietzsche came up maybe we would have a conversation but she's a drunk so I probably wouldn't date her. Bizzaro world hiems. Bizzaro world. If I was on a date with Marion Cotillard (who is married) but let us just say she wanted another lover for some reason and she brought up Edgar Morin you bet your last dollar we are discussing that until it is dead and I've only read 2 of his books. LOL I'm just trying to have a little fun in this bleak circle of nowhereness. Like my dumb ass is going to cuck Guillaume Canet. LOL. HAH. Are you having fun hiems?

You keep bringing up this term deterioration. Deterioration from what? A miserable alcoholic in hell? My current situation is the best I've ever been besides maybe a sports hero in highschool, lol university, international poker player which also sucked a lot at times, or a materials salesman high on the hog. My body and organs may be deteriorating but my mind and soul are strong.

It is also not like I just abandoned everything in the world for existential philosophy. Another thing too is that existential philosophy is super important but it's also not that deep. Despair, Nausea, Death think about it for a while or read people that have done so. When I was in poker I read poker books but not too many because it is better to just play poker. When I was in business I read business books but not too many because it is better to actually be in steel mills with customers to sell materials to steel mills. I could also spend some time at the manufacturing plant and understand that process and the people there. Nothing else really mattered. Probably the threesome of Dostoevsky, Sartre and Nietzsche kept me alive at 26 and beyond. I was a way better salesmen from reading these books although you probably won't believe me.

Brighten up hiems! I'm probably dead in 2 – 10 years anyway. I hope to God you aren't still turtling and being obtuse on the internet at that point.

The poker nerd example doesn't necessarily mean conversation but just general state of mind. Imo that's you with alot of this dumb stuff.

Like I said before you keep blaming mental illness on 100% of your problems but the real problem is that you are a dumbass.

On October 12 2021 20:54 hiems wrote: Show nested quote + On October 12 2021 17:44 Loco wrote: From memory, and at least in recent years, you are the only person who has openly announced his salary on liquidpoker (and more than once) without being asked. It's not too difficult to deduce that it means you are bragging about it. It's like if there is only one guy in a large group of guys who mentions the specific size of his dick. It's information that no one cares to have, and the person who cares to give it is compensating for some severe lack elsewhere. Accidently deleted my original reply to this but not going to re write it. your a retard idk what else to say.

you're*

lol @ you thinking RiKD is this guy from The Good Place

sorry I just now realize this picture must really offend you since it was his being a philosophy professor that got him into the pants of the hot blonde white girl that you dream of being with

and just like me he is in better shape than you -- that should feel pretty insulting since we're book nerds and you're a cool kid. something you fail to realize (probably willfully) is that it takes a lot of discipline to learn philosophy and read consistently and that discipline can easily be transferred elsewhere. It's the opposite of being a degenerate, it teaches you to live life consciously and build a strong character.

On October 12 2021 23:01 Loco wrote: sorry I just now realize this picture must really offend you since it was his being a philosophy professor that got him into the pants of the hot blonde white girl that you dream of being with and just like me he is in better shape than you -- that should feel pretty insulting since we're book nerds and you're a cool kid

No one knows wtf u r talking about here this is what I mean about weird poker nerd type stuff but with philosophy.

I love how u just keep trying to portray me the worst way possible in every aspect to preserve yourself while you post nothing about your dumb life.

You go back to blog written like 2 years ago about me feeling depressed. You talk about my bf% at my worst just because of covid like 5-6 months ago and after I worked with a bodybuilding coach. Etc etc.

Y don't u post aspects of your life you aren't happy with Loco lol. The thing is you can't because Baal would make fun of you for being worth $5 probably in desperate need of dental care. Im somewhat joking i don't actually know or care about whats going on in your life but the point is im an open dude and im not perfect but unlike you I don't have a massive ego and honestly I'm probably way less pathetic than you are.

Thanks for correcting me on that Grammer btw u da man.

On October 12 2021 22:53 hiems wrote: The poker nerd example doesn't necessarily mean conversation but just general state of mind. Imo that's you with alot of this dumb stuff. Like I said before you keep blaming mental illness on 100% of your problems but the real problem is that you are a dumbass.

What are you even talking about at this point?

In all honesty, my problems with addiction have hurt me more than bipolar 1 but it is tough to say. It's certainly not like my actions have been stellar my whole life but it all sort of mixes together. I don't know how much free will I have either so this gets even more complicated. And I was just introduced today to some CBT concepts that are kind of new to me and mix up my worldview a bit. I could say my life is fucked because my parents had me with out my consent or I could say my life is ok despite my parents bringing me into life with out my consent. Clearly, I have problems but I don't think that I am a dumb ass and why are you so quick to throw around words in the way that you do? Why do you do that?

I thought everyone saw The Good Place. Michael Schur – The Office, Parks and Rec, The Good Place, The best episode of Black Mirror, has read Infinite Jest 11 times (maybe more by now)

Literally, my entire extended family watched The Good Place and beyond. Part of it may be because I never say any TV is good or suggest anything but I liked The Good Place and suggested it to people. If there was ever a time I thought a philosophical discussion might erupt it was when that show was running but the only one I can think of is when my mom got excited about The Trolley Problem.

"something you fail to realize (probably willfully) is that it takes a lot of discipline to learn philosophy and read consistently and that discipline can easily be transferred elsewhere. It's the opposite of being a degenerate, it teaches you to live life consciously and build a strong character."


Are you kidding me. It takes discipline to learn just about anything which u can use for other stuff what kind of logic is that.

Pretty sure this tech guy paul Graham said u can learn a bunch of philosophy from just like watching movies so majoring in philosophy is stupid which is kind of true.

Also the one time I "read" crime and punishment i listen to some of the audio for an idea of the prose and spark noted the rest like a fuckin boss. This is an example of me being the king of ingenuity, master of efficiency, and a master of common sense etc etc. It's kind of like when fuckin Naruto master the rasengan in like 1 day. U dumb pretentious noobs reading 1000 pages when I master it in an hour or two.

You guys are essentially chess bums. Rikd is an elo 1600 chess bum that is fully committed to neet lifestyle being a crazy guy in Washington Square Park and Loco is working a dumb job and after work he heads to the park as an elo 2100 chess bum. Crazy thing is I try and tell u chess isn't a positive thing for your lives but too dumb to realize lol

Maybe if I want to start my own coding language I'll consult Paul Graham otherwise that is just a random piece of bullshit you just shared. There really is no way you are budging from your position. That is like saying you can learn physics by watching Interstellar which you can but it is like so out of context and you would not pass a 101 class with the knowledge. Which as a side note I took Philosophy 101 in university and was one of the few As in the class. I didn't get an A because I watched Shawshank Redemption, Fight Club, and Memento. Philosophy is difficult and the reading is mandatory.

I enjoyed Crime and Punishment in its entirety. That book saved my life. I did the same thing you did in high school with the book Great Expectations by DIckens. I was cheating the class but in reality I was cheating myself. But I had better things to do than read Dickens in high school or so I thought. Throwing non-fiction on an audiobook at 1.5x the speed while I train in the gym may seem like I am winning but what a tremendous waste. I'd rather deadlift to converge and reach a PR and laugh and pat people on the back than half ass it at 2 things. Reading is a pleasure in itself. Reading 1,000 page tomes of knowledge is not pretentious so much as it is high brow. Some may use it for elitist gains but it does not have to be that way.

Crazy is another word you throw around a lot. I just talked to my therapist today. I am not crazy. Just another attempt at using words to gaslight or bring me down. Why do you do this? It reflects poorly on you.

I am also not fully committed to a NEET lifestyle.

And who the fuck are you to tell people that chess or philosophy is not good for their lives?

On October 13 2021 04:27 RiKD wrote: Maybe if I want to start my own coding language I'll consult Paul Graham otherwise that is just a random piece of bullshit you just shared. There really is no way you are budging from your position. That is like saying you can learn physics by watching Interstellar which you can but it is like so out of context and you would not pass a 101 class with the knowledge. Which as a side note I took Philosophy 101 in university and was one of the few As in the class. I didn't get an A because I watched Shawshank Redemption, Fight Club, and Memento. Philosophy is difficult and the reading is mandatory. I enjoyed Crime and Punishment in its entirety. That book saved my life. I did the same thing you did in high school with the book Great Expectations by DIckens. I was cheating the class but in reality I was cheating myself. But I had better things to do than read Dickens in high school or so I thought. Throwing non-fiction on an audiobook at 1.5x the speed while I train in the gym may seem like I am winning but what a tremendous waste. I'd rather deadlift to converge and reach a PR and laugh and pat people on the back than half ass it at 2 things. Reading is a pleasure in itself. Reading 1,000 page tomes of knowledge is not pretentious so much as it is high brow. Some may use it for elitist gains but it does not have to be that way. Crazy is another word you throw around a lot. I just talked to my therapist today. I am not crazy. Just another attempt at using words to gaslight or bring me down. Why do you do this? It reflects poorly on you. I am also not fully committed to a NEET lifestyle. And who the fuck are you to tell people that chess or philosophy is not good for their lives?

That is nothing like trying to learn physics by watching interstellar you dumb fuck. I'm not going to waste my time explaining to you why. God damn liberal logic is astounding.

I had to Google wtf gaslighting is because I don't spend time in vagina forums to know what that was. I'm sorry I throw mean words around but I'm just using the best possible descriptor.

I use dumb, dumbfuck, retard with you and Loco. With you specifically I use dumbass alot.

Whereas I use dumb and vag with liquid Drone. This is because Drones flaw tends to come from his general pussiness and being a jette man.

Notice I don't call u vag its because I don't think thats your problem dumbass.

On October 13 2021 01:50 hiems wrote: "something you fail to realize (probably willfully) is that it takes a lot of discipline to learn philosophy and read consistently and that discipline can easily be transferred elsewhere. It's the opposite of being a degenerate, it teaches you to live life consciously and build a strong character." Are you kidding me. It takes discipline to learn just about anything which u can use for other stuff what kind of logic is that. Pretty sure this tech guy paul Graham said u can learn a bunch of philosophy from just like watching movies so majoring in philosophy is stupid which is kind of true. Also the one time I "read" crime and punishment i listen to some of the audio for an idea of the prose and spark noted the rest like a fuckin boss. This is an example of me being the king of ingenuity, master of efficiency, and a master of common sense etc etc. It's kind of like when fuckin Naruto master the rasengan in like 1 day. U dumb pretentious noobs reading 1000 pages when I master it in an hour or two. You guys are essentially chess bums. Rikd is an elo 1600 chess bum that is fully committed to neet lifestyle being a crazy guy in Washington Square Park and Loco is working a dumb job and after work he heads to the park as an elo 2100 chess bum. Crazy thing is I try and tell u chess isn't a positive thing for your lives but too dumb to realize lol

What's wrong with chess? Or anything else that's free to play... entertaining yourself for free for a lifetime is pretty smart by pretty much any reasonable standard.

And I do play chess after work at the park sometimes LOL.

Yeah you are the "master of efficiency" by listening to all the individual notes in a legendary piece of music without ever listening to the piece itself. The master of efficient cooking by cooking all the ingredients of great recipe and not combining them together. More like the master of dumbing yourself down further. When you don't read you are actively losing the ability to write and read coherently, since the brain is a plastic organ. How do you even have any motivation to play the guitar with this kind of mentality? It seems that you have basically no ability to focus on something that doesn't have immediate economic or consumer interest to you. The movie that represent your life isn't Atlas Shrugged, it's Idiocracy.

On October 14 2021 22:43 Loco wrote: Show nested quote + On October 13 2021 01:50 hiems wrote: "something you fail to realize (probably willfully) is that it takes a lot of discipline to learn philosophy and read consistently and that discipline can easily be transferred elsewhere. It's the opposite of being a degenerate, it teaches you to live life consciously and build a strong character." Are you kidding me. It takes discipline to learn just about anything which u can use for other stuff what kind of logic is that. Pretty sure this tech guy paul Graham said u can learn a bunch of philosophy from just like watching movies so majoring in philosophy is stupid which is kind of true. Also the one time I "read" crime and punishment i listen to some of the audio for an idea of the prose and spark noted the rest like a fuckin boss. This is an example of me being the king of ingenuity, master of efficiency, and a master of common sense etc etc. It's kind of like when fuckin Naruto master the rasengan in like 1 day. U dumb pretentious noobs reading 1000 pages when I master it in an hour or two. You guys are essentially chess bums. Rikd is an elo 1600 chess bum that is fully committed to neet lifestyle being a crazy guy in Washington Square Park and Loco is working a dumb job and after work he heads to the park as an elo 2100 chess bum. Crazy thing is I try and tell u chess isn't a positive thing for your lives but too dumb to realize lol What's wrong with chess? Or anything else that's free to play... entertaining yourself for free for a lifetime is pretty smart by pretty much any reasonable standard. And I do play chess after work at the park sometimes LOL. Yeah you are the "master of efficiency" by listening to all the individual notes in a legendary piece of music without ever listening to the piece itself. The master of efficient cooking by cooking all the ingredients of great recipe and not combining them together. More like the master of dumbing yourself down further. When you don't read you are actively losing the ability to write and read coherently, since the brain is a plastic organ. How do you even have any motivation to play the guitar with this kind of mentality? It seems that you have basically no ability to focus on something that doesn't have immediate economic or consumer interest to you. The movie that represent your life isn't Atlas Shrugged, it's Idiocracy.

Ru brain damaged.

I said "chess bum" not chess. Its definitely an actual thing esp within the chess community being "a chess bum" is def not a good thing. Same thing can be said about "philosophy bum" which is what u and rikd are... its definitely not a good thing. "Philossphy bum" is a term you might have never heard but thats only because the most "special" type of dumbass does this that its such a low % of the population that the phrase isn't even invented yet but its definitely an actual thing.

Ur dumb analogy about music or cooking makes no sense.

"In The Burnout Society (original German title: Müdigkeitsgesellschaft), Han characterizes today's society as a pathological landscape of neuronal disorders such as depression, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, borderline personality and burnout. He claims that they are not "infections" but "infarcts", which are not caused by the negativity of people's immunology, but by an excess of positivity.[5] According to Han, driven by the demand to persevere and not to fail, as well as by the ambition of efficiency, we become committers and sacrificers at the same time and enter a swirl of demarcation, self-exploitation and collapse. "When production is immaterial, everyone already owns the means of production, him- or herself. The neoliberal system is no longer a class system in the proper sense. It does not consist of classes that display mutual antagonism. This is what accounts for the system's stability."

Lmao just read up on this dumb fuck byungshin chul han what a fucking dumb fuck.

So your telling me Loco introduces this garbage communist to rikd then rikd randomly name drops byungshin chul han 24/7 when its not appropriate in conversation and then you dumb fuck claim Loco is not rasputin for Rikd what a joke.

Idk wtf crack you guys are smoking LOL.

Person : hey did u see the superbowl last night?
Rikd : no but I did some reading. I read up on the works of byungshin chul han.
Person: oh ok cool.

Maybe I have over-quoted Byung-Chul Han on this website but it's not name dropping to site a source...

Regardless of what you may think it is not some virtue signal either. To who and what am I signalling? I am telling LP I read Byung-Chul Han. What does that mean?

I actually brought up Byung-Chul Han in conversation the other day in the context of one of his favorite projects was learning how to sing Winterreise by Schubert. I brought it up to a friend that has a PhD in voice and is a professional voice instructor/conductor. He went into fascinating stories about Schubert and the middle class in Germany at that time, etc. and not once did we even think to pivot back to Han.

Your second post happened to me irl too one of the first days of work at a previous job someone asked me what I read:

I said I am currently reading philosophy by Byung-Chul Han. He froze up a little bit as no one wants to have to comment on a somewhat obscure philosopher they have never heard of so we quickly changed the subject to music. I said I was listening to a lot of Bach lately. He froze up again so I widened the music I was listening too. Turns out we both love Bad Brains. We both love Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. We ended up becoming work besties and philosophy or classical music never came up ever again. I think he appreciated the honesty in what I was reading/listening too even if I put myself at risk for being perceived as odd. Which he did perceive me as a bit odd coupled with the fact I don't have facebook but he is a bit odd too so putting ourselves at risk led to a faster, stronger friendship than perhaps others. So, this is why my policy is to be honest yet understand to pay attention and pivot/change the subject when needed.

LP is not real conversation. I can't see you're eyes, body language, hear tonality in the voice, all these things mixed together, et al.

You write something and then someone else writes something sometimes days apart. It is really a sub-par form of communication but it is communication I guess.

Burnout Society is a classic and still way ahead of its time even though it was published in 2010. I doubt you will change my mind.

Also, I usually begrudgingly watch the Super Bowl. I have more NFL knowledge than anyone in the room usually even though I typically only watch the Browns each week at this point.

My standard answer to did you watch the Super Bowl and I didn't watch the Super Bowl would be, "No, I don't like the Super Bowl" which is a very different response to "No, I read Into The Swarm by Byung-Chul Han instead."

The first response would lead to why don't you like the Super Bowl which is a way more fun conversation than talking about some philosopher no one knows.

Its byungshin* chul han

Obv the superbowl thing is hyperbole. And I just happened to use the word conversation. The point is that your mind is clearly infected by these garbage communist thinkers and ideas despite if you say them outloud or not. This has 0 to do with mental illness.

Anyway bro I'm sorry I am mean to you. Mostly you deserve it cause you are a communist though.

There is quite a bit of baroque in the classical guitar repertoire so I've been listening to Bach somewhat frequently. I was listening to la catedral by barrios which really is a nice piece and I noticed the counterpoint in it though it isn't a baroque era piece it does have elements of baroque to it as it is apparently a homage of sorts to bach and I was pretty pleased with myself for noticing that without any help kind of like a beginner in wine that gets some tasting note correctly.

When I lived in Vegas there was this James Turrell light fixture at Crystals and I always wondered why ppl such as yourself are all over his dick. Maybe you can explain to me why he is so amazing,

https://youtu.be/8QkOblZeRuE

Saw this video and it reminded me of hiems' sparknotes comment. I imagine these implant guys saying to themselves, "I am a fucking boss, I got the looks without putting in hundreds of hours of work at the gym" lol.