If you build it they will come - Page 7

I read the 1st book and thought it was great. I read it before the movies. After watching the movies I am motivated to read the 2nd book Dune Messiah. It seems like 100% of people I have talked to IRL do not like the books after the 1st one as much. I don't really know what to think about that.

Anytime I come across an artist like Bon Iver (Justin Vernon) and I was there 15 years ago... I recently "re-discovered" him on a deeper level. I spend a lot of my time attempting to create music from a white canvas. Listening to Bon Iver greatly inspires me yet at the same time I feel a bit sad and lost that I will not and should not have that voice and point of view. I want to copy and steal. I want a bigger penis. It knocks me off course a bit.

Saturday night, ayyyyeeee, Saturday night. I'm listening to one of my favorite artists Burial on a Saturday night, ayyyyeeee, Saturday night. I got lost for 3 hours composing music. I don't know how people sing for like 3 hour concerts or longer studio bouts. My voice definitely felt a bit tenuous there towards the end. I'm just trying to have fun on a Saturday night. Lose myself on a Saturday night. Transendence on a Saturday night.

lostaccount,

Loco is rarely coming back and not at your command. I wish that I could have a magic wand that I could wave when I am blue that Loco would come in and bring some The Man Who Sleeps / Jason Molina / Knut Hamsun level art to the table but that is unreasonable. I sometimes feel that I need LP because I do not have many good friends here and prospects aren't great. I get panic attacks driving over bridges like I did today and it's just an awful feeling and no one seems to be able to help me. So, I am even more isolated than I need to be. I am isolated on the island that I live on which is entirely suburbs and big box stores. I rarely leave my room let alone my house. It's kind of a nightmare.

It's funny right when I finished the above post I was feeling like shit but one of my GOOD friends sent me a text out of the blue to listen to Indian - The Unquiet Sky and it is hitting the spot.

Frank Ocean - Thinkin bout you is just not in my range and I had to face that fact today listening to myself sing it.

I am a baritone with a small falsetto range. That's about it.

James Blake - Retrograde is another one I can't quite get. I can make it work but it's not very comfortable and doesn't come off how I would like it.

Decay, decay, decay. Always decay.

Decay, decay, decay. Always decay.

One way I know I am poor is that my boxer briefs and socks are getting raggedy and I have no option but to continue to wear them. It's getting bad. On the brightside, I saved some money at the barber and trimmed my own beard.

I was going with a Swedish company for my boxer briefs and socks. They don't even do business with the USA anymore.

I found some vegan Nike shoes... Probably made in an Indonesian sweat shop for $1. It's difficult to avoid harm when it comes to capitalism and consumption. It's like when you get a vegan option at Chipotle but then find out they are fucking the Tomato workers.

I'm sick of it. Listening to Exit Music For A Film by Radiohead contemplating how I will exit from consciousness. I could just take a nap and see how I feel and actually this song is raising my spirits. "We hope that you choke, that you choke." Fuck Montagues and Capulets!

I just won't fucking buy anything but I need shoes and it is ingrained in me to your shoes have to be fly. Shoes are the first thing a woman notices about you, etc. Well, it's not like it matters at this point! My mom said she would buy me a pair of shoes. I am grateful but that is enabling my behavior but I had a panic attack going over a small bridge and worry I will have a panic attack simply driving to the grocery store 5 min. away.

My friend told me I am like Chris Farley when he is interviewing people in that sketch on SNL. "God, idiot! I'm so stupid!" pulling my hair and shit. He said not to do that about these times and getting a job, etc. Don't be so hard on myself. BUT, the fact is I do need to get my ass in gear on getting a job. The job will be stressful but being unemployed and running out of money is also very stressful.

I'm going for full page 7 no one respond...

I just talked to a friend:

#1 - He sent me some SICK Drum and Bass (dnb) which is improving my mood
#2 - We laughed about being poor because you have to laugh or you'll cry.
#3 - He buys his shoes lightly used on eBay

It's funny I found these shoes that were vegan and made in Portugul. Just some sneakers that looked nice. Workers get a living wage and choose their hours... $300 per shoe!

On March 13 2024 00:55 RiKD wrote: I'm going for full page 7 no one respond...

On March 15 2024 03:54 PuertoRican wrote: Show nested quote + On March 13 2024 00:55 RiKD wrote: I'm going for full page 7 no one respond...

You bastard!

I was trying to think of some dope YouTube video to put up that might have done the trick. I couldn't think of anything though. Touche'.

Ok, I have some time to kill until my clothes are out of the dryer.

I ended up buying some black on black on black Air Force 1s (mid). It was funny like the day they shipped I came across the BLACK AIR FORCE ONE ENERGY memes. I think that mostly goes for the Air Force 1 lows but probaby for the mid too. Basically, only crackheads, gangsters, criminals wear them....

From wikipedia:

"Black Air Force energy" is a slang term that refers to the black-on-black style of Nike Air Force 1 sneakers and the negative traits or behaviors associated with people who wear them. The term originated on social media and is often used humorously. The stereotype implies that people with "black Air Force energy" are wild, aggressive, and have disregard for others and established rules. Some say that black Air Force 1s have a connotation of committing crimes or fighting, and that wearing them is associated with a gangster or thug vibe. However, others embrace the black Air Force 1 as a symbol of rebellion and resilience, and favor it in subcultures that value a rugged aesthetic.

From urban dictionary:

If someone has black air force energy then he is someone who is crazy doesnt give no shit
And does not care at all about him self or anyone else
They are wild and u shouldnt mess with them

I found this one reddit thread where someone made a bunch of videos of anime characters with black air force 1 energy. Kid Buu was #1, Madara, Broly. They were pretty hilarious.

I just got them because I like the look and they will be a durable shoe that I don't have to clean all of the time. *shrug*

Guts (Berserk) and Vegeta too

I'm just sittin' in the crib listening to some Portishead sippin' some tea. Does it get any better than that? In some ways yes and in some ways no. I wish I could get back the high of solo'ing the blues. It hasn't been hittin' like it used to. The Thrill is Gone (BB King). I have been playing some though. Overall, it's just been a lazy Sunday. Good for the soul or is it? I read a novel and took a nap. That's a great combo. I don't really know what I am going to do the rest of the day. To be honest, I have had the craving to play some poker or a good video game. I think it one step further and poker is a lot of work with solvers just to be a bum anyway. Video games I don't want to waste $30-$60 on something I don't end up enjoying. This Portishead is hittin' though. Just listening to Dummy straight through.

It would be nice to figure out how to fix my novel but I haven't figured that out yet. Maybe it doesn't need to be fixed I just need to keep writing.

To really paint I need a studio. I don't even know how that works. A quick google search shows that there is nothing available in my town. I can't keep painting in my parent's home.

I just need to find something to rev me up a little bit and get me in the zone for the rest of the day. Not the whole day just something with some interest to it. Movie, video games, something of that nature. NOT POKER unless there are better sites out there than Ignition and ACR. Who plays online poker in 2024?

I'm listening to 90s, rave acid house. I really should just be writing my novel but it's like I can get the bullshit out here or maybe get an idea while writing. I don't fucking know. Who the fuck actually understands the process of writing a novel. Maybe Nabokov but that guy was weird too. Nabokov wrote a book about nymphettes and pedophilia which is weird but it's also ballsy and art in some way? I enjoyed the book.

I shouldn't really talk about my novel on here though. Nothing good comes out of it. I end up not writing. I don't really care that I am not writing tonight though. I just don't care.

I am thinking of getting Doom Eternal (2020). I think it's the game I need for the time.

Fuck this. I wonder if this gets it to page 8?

On March 19 2024 03:37 RiKD wrote: Fuck this. I wonder if this gets it to page 8?

Maybe this will.