1
![](/images/icons/1/9.gif) |
RiKD   United States. Jun 17 2024 05:31. Posts 8823 | | |
I just hold on to stuff ya know? I got to get some of it out ya know? If I'm going to have any shot at recovery.
I have to start with poker because this road to mastery makes me feel alive. Of course there is the gambling too. That plays a part in ALIVE! But, many of the times I play recently my hands shake uncontrollably. Imagine you get QQ and you go to raise and your hand is not cooperating. I have to hold the mouse with 2 hands and hope to get the right bet out. I should be focusing on hand ranges not if I can actually get a legitimate bet out across the line. I guess I have been studying a lot but it's time to get some hands in.
I see my Doctor on Tuesday so we will see how that goes. I just have to remember everything that has been going on and be honest about it.
|
|
|
1
![](/images/icons/1/9.gif) |
RiKD   United States. Jun 17 2024 22:14. Posts 8823 | | |
I am putting in some good study sessions. Just practicing on the GTOW Trainer. I wish everyday was a Friday night or Saturday but it is most definitely not. I think a lot of times there is a bounce back on Monday night as people still want that weekend fix in. It doesn't matter for me because my hands are still shaky. I just figure I study as much as I can to stay fresh and get better. I am mostly pretty good on the trainer. I miss some betsizes sometimes. Hard to find all the bluffs GTOW finds and it finds some reallly nice shoves in areas I don't always suspect.
Another thing I realized is I like RNGs for pre-flop but I don't really like using them post flop. I'd rather hand read. As I get better maybe I start using the RNG more post-flop because I do use mixed strategies post-flop.
Anyway, it is clear that I have chosen the path of the theoretical over exploitive. Not that I won't go full exploitive mode versus recs and weak regulars. I just feel stronger and more grounded attempting to play solver-ball. |
|
|
1
![](/images/icons/1/9.gif) |
RiKD   United States. Jun 18 2024 07:34. Posts 8823 | | |
I was watching this poker training video today and the guy was crushing it. He had the sickest hud setup and knew how to use that information. I don't even like hud setups to be honest but I felt inadequate. I don't even like poker training videos to be honest. Some are alright but you don't necessarily know who to trust. The same can be said of 1v1 coaching or even getting in on some poker Discord. I am also looking at ways to make my study more efficient. |
|
|
1
![](/images/icons/1/9.gif) |
RiKD   United States. Jun 18 2024 21:05. Posts 8823 | | |
Any ideas for remote jobs? |
|
|
1
![](/images/icons/1/9.gif) |
RiKD   United States. Jun 18 2024 22:00. Posts 8823 | | |
Maybe one of these training AI gigs will hire me... I don't think I am good enough at maths anymore to help AI there but I think I could be good enough at critiquing writing and writing. |
|
|
1
![](/images/icons/1/7.gif) |
drone666   Brasil. Jun 19 2024 01:57. Posts 1825 | | |
keep playing poker, you have access to the softest pools in the world residing in US ( don't what state you live though )
but the segregated sites are by far the softest you can find nowadays other than private games, don't play the rest of the world pool like WPN, GGpoker etc |
|
Dont listen to anything I say | |
|
|
1
![](/images/icons/1/11.gif) |
Stroggoz   New Zealand. Jun 19 2024 10:36. Posts 5323 | | |
If by training AI you mean labelling data, then yeah you could get a job doing that. It's very boring work and pays little, but its easy and there's no harm in trying it.
The math you need to understand AI is linear algebra + multivariable calc + some stats and probability, which can all be learnt in the first year of a math degree. I don't think most of AI is that math heavy tbh.
Yeah America has some soft poker pools, but is RiKD's personality cut out for poker as a profession? I would have guessed not.
|
|
One of 3 non decent human beings on a site of 5 people with between 2-3 decent human beings | |
|
|
1
![](/images/icons/1/9.gif) |
RiKD   United States. Jun 19 2024 20:00. Posts 8823 | | |
| On June 19 2024 00:57 drone666 wrote:
keep playing poker, you have access to the softest pools in the world residing in US ( don't what state you live though )
but the segregated sites are by far the softest you can find nowadays other than private games, don't play the rest of the world pool like WPN, GGpoker etc |
I don't have the money or the skill to attempt to be a professional. I don't live in NJ/PA/MI/NV and relocation is jut not an option at the moment. I play WPN (ACR) because it's slightly better than Ignition and those are the only options I have. |
|
|
1
![](/images/icons/1/9.gif) |
RiKD   United States. Jun 19 2024 20:20. Posts 8823 | | |
| On June 19 2024 09:36 Stroggoz wrote:
If by training AI you mean labelling data, then yeah you could get a job doing that. It's very boring work and pays little, but its easy and there's no harm in trying it.
The math you need to understand AI is linear algebra + multivariable calc + some stats and probability, which can all be learnt in the first year of a math degree. I don't think most of AI is that math heavy tbh.
Yeah America has some soft poker pools, but is RiKD's personality cut out for poker as a profession? I would have guessed not.
|
I never did the job but it sounded like I was going to "train" its English. Proofread, critique and write prompts of my own. Next level is I would review other peoples' prompts. They want to onboard me (Outlier AI) but I googled and it sounds sketchy as fuck so I am not going to do it. It doesn't seem like there is a lot of solid work remote wise.
I would have been doing the same thing "training" Math AI. I know I did matrices and vectors in Pre-Calc in high school but I don't know if linear algebra is a step up from that. I did multivariable calc and liked it although I don't think I remember it. I could probably read a math book and figure it out but I don't know that for sure. I never took a stats class or probability class. I have a BA in History. |
|
|
1
![](/images/icons/1/7.gif) |
drone666   Brasil. Jun 19 2024 23:40. Posts 1825 | | |
seems like a complete waste of time to study poker if you are not intending to be a professional or if you are not rich as fuck as play as a hobby |
|
Dont listen to anything I say | |
|
|
1
![](/images/icons/1/9.gif) |
RiKD   United States. Jun 20 2024 04:38. Posts 8823 | | |
| On June 19 2024 22:40 drone666 wrote:
seems like a complete waste of time to study poker if you are not intending to be a professional or if you are not rich as fuck as play as a hobby |
When I was starting out my intentions were to see how it goes. When I played 10k hands at 10bb/100 I was thinking maybe there is a little bit of a chance. I realize I ran really well over those first 10k hands but anyways. 1 problem. I am pretty broke. I haven't worked in 8 months. My little experiment was to put $150 on the only site I could play (WPN / ACR) since Ignition was not happening and run it up from 10 NL. Another problem. Now, that I have done quite a bit of studying and figured out the games a bit more I have a drug side effect issue, neurological issue, anxiety issue, or all of the above where my hand tremors uncontrollably sometimes. Meaning it makes it difficult to even get the right bet amount down sometimes. Plus, now, Stroggoz does not think I have the personality for it.
I was thinking that playing 200 NL making $30 / hr might look good but for me that's a tough existance to play enough hands in a year and it would trap myself even more. I do not know how realistic it is these days to play 500 NL +.
The goal would be to move to PA. I used to live there I have a lot of friends. Relocation probably costs $5,000 - $10,000 though.
Another thing is that I check the higher games on ACR and they are super dry. Hell, the whole site is dry if it is not a weeknight or weekend. I am just finding all of this out.
It's why I asked if people knew about remote work. I was not under the illusion that I could pay the bills playing 10 NL but time has still passed and I need an income. |
|
|
1
![](/images/icons/1/9.gif) |
RiKD   United States. Jun 21 2024 05:31. Posts 8823 | | |
It is true that I carry a lot with me. Which is why I write these blogs to attempt to unleash it all. I was getting better with recovery. To let go. Part of that is staying away from poker if I'm not studying or playing but then I would watch PokerGO or a training video or whatever. A lot of these essential pros on Run It Once I'm not convinced they are all that great but they are better than me. It took a while to understand all the new lingo.
I have a good friend that I talk to on the phone quite a bit. He doesn't live in my city. One day he just stoppped returning my calls. I asked some people about it and they didn't know. I'm not really connected in that city anymore. Turns out he had a severe manic episode and ended up in jail for 2 months. Damn. Talking to him he sounded great though. Like I was talking to a Saint or something. He was in jail because there wasn't enouogh lithium in the system. I'm going through hell because there is too much lithium in my system. |
|
|
1
![](/images/icons/1/9.gif) |
RiKD   United States. Jun 23 2024 01:34. Posts 8823 | | |
I spent most of the day studying hands. Not to spite drone666 but because I like it! I had never used the analyze function on GTOw before and it is pretty sweet. A lot of the hands I remembered but some of them were difficult because I didn't remember the hand or why I did what I did. Some of the blunders were pretty bad. I definitely have leaks. My biggest biggest "blunder" on there I do remember and I was deviating against a maniac. To be honest, the hand was a mistake but not as big of a blunder as GTOw thought it was. I'm exploring all the nooks and crannies and GTOw is the shit! If I was a good pro I wouldn't mention it whatsoever and pretend it didn't exist even if I was on there 5 hours a day figuring out the game. But, I am not a pro. I am just excited about GTOw. Incredible UX as well. I learned what equity realization actually means today too among a bunch of other things.
If I could do it again I'd get a degree in logic, math, and psychology with philosophy. Fuck, there are plenty of things I'd do differently. I've made bankroll blunders both ways. I remember my computer broke the summer of 2005 and I didn't get it fixed for a while but then the Fall of 2005 I came out with a vengeance. I injured my knee and couldn't go anywhere. That Winter of 2005 was straight poker and I flew up the ranks. I am not going to go through it all. I just remembered how frustrated I was that summer with my computer but how that energy and getting injured and I put it all into poker. The history degree is what it is. I took some general education history courses and loved them and just sort of stuck with it. I started as a business major and that was a big mistake. History was not that demanding so it allowed me to play poker and hang out with friends. My knee eventually got better. I was playing 200 NL and 400 NL by summer 2006. Somewhere in there I won 35 buy-ins in a day at 400 NL. I was loaded up with courses so I could graduate on time and thankfully I did so I didn't have to pay for another year of university. I paid off all my student debt which I actually probably should not have done because the vig was not that bad to just pay it off in installments. I was at the height of the pooker boom I could use all the bankroll that I could muster. So many mistakes but I did a lot of things right too.
I don't think I can compete with teenagers and early 20s aspiring poker players. Moving up the stakes is probably really difficult these days. But, I'm having fun with poker. The computer screen is in vivid color and everything else is black and white.
I realize that I also need to get on with my life and find something to do that makes money and isn't as soul-crushing as what I've doing for basically my entire life after poker. Poker can be soul-crushing too but not as bad as food and bev or retail. I could play poker in my spare time. Weeknights and weekends which is when I play now anyways.
My resume is pretty bad so I get bad opportunities. It's maddening. A cycle that I don't know how to break. Remote opportunities are even harder to come by than brick and mortar. |
|
|
1
![](/images/icons/1/9.gif) |
RiKD   United States. Jun 23 2024 04:27. Posts 8823 | | |
Something that stuck out was I made a fair amount of exploitive folds. I look at it 1-2 months later and it's kind of gross. I would have to have had some pretty good information and I just don't think that is the case. You live you learn. |
|
|
1
![](/images/icons/1/9.gif) |
RiKD   United States. Jun 23 2024 07:06. Posts 8823 | | |
Watching Hustler Casino Live with Jimmy Butler (Pro NBA), Neymar, Ryan Garcia, Dan Bilzerian. Fucking crazy game. I don't think I like anyone in the game except Butler and Neymar. |
|
|
1
![](/images/icons/1/9.gif) |
RiKD   United States. Jun 23 2024 07:27. Posts 8823 | | |
Stand up game going and Neymar just doubled through Bilzerian. |
|
|
1
![](/images/icons/1/9.gif) |
RiKD   United States. Jun 23 2024 07:46. Posts 8823 | | |
They put the progressive stand up game on greedily and Butler is out of there. |
|
|
1
![](/images/icons/1/9.gif) |
RiKD   United States. Jun 23 2024 07:48. Posts 8823 | | |
Fucking Twitch streamers affording this madness (Ninja). |
|
|
1
![](/images/icons/1/9.gif) |
RiKD   United States. Jun 26 2024 05:14. Posts 8823 | | |
Winding down, winding down, winding down...
I am praying that the neurological issues (severe tremors, loss of balance and coordination) that go along with lithium toxicity go away in a week now that I am on a lower dose of the lithium. I read some scary information today that if the toxicity is extended for too long the neurological issues can be permanent.
One of my friends offered to bring over lunch tomorrow and hangouot since I haven't been driving. I thought that was a really nice gesture. I haven't been socializing much due to not driving. Brothers Karamazov by Dostoevsky has been my friend. |
|
|
1
![](/images/icons/1/9.gif) |
RiKD   United States. Jun 27 2024 05:35. Posts 8823 | | |
I am watching this $50,000 Player's Championship. It's about a 10 game spread. It's remarkable that some of these guys can be so good at all of these games. That's a lot of fucking poker. |
|
|
|