Just blasted off on a leg day and it feels good man. Got some trap bar deadlifts in, kettlebell swings, and 45-degree back extensions, and some calf raises. I feel like the calf raises didn't really do shit compared to hiking at 260 lbs. I gotta get a ruck sack and do some serious hiking. Anyone have any secrets for building calves? I don't think I can stimulate them enough in the gym.
Rothko, White Center, 1950
I'm getting these shoes for Christmas:
I'm wondering if I should have gotten these:
It's too late now. The Brooks Ghost always fit me really well. I hate being such an idiot consumer. We get something we covet and then we want something else.
I'm thinkig about also picking some of these up:
They are functional as fuck and I can do my deadlifts and squats in them. I think they are only like $65 too which is pretty good for an excellent pair of shoes.
What are y'all getting for Christmas?
Shoes and haircut are important. Then basically don't be skinny, don't be fat, definitely don't be skinny fat. Skinny is better than fat. blah blah blah. blah blah blah. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...
Just sittin' in the crib listening to some Andy Stott:
I don't think I have a whole lot on my mind tonight. Last night I had some terrifying nightmares. The ones so bad you don't want to go back to sleep.
I don't think I am goth material. It would be fun to really go all out on Halloween or get dressed up for a show or a goth night somewhere but I would hate to put makeup on everyday and have to thrift for goth clothing pieces. I don't love goth rock or dark wave or any of the other genres to be honest which kind of kills it. I do like this idea of escape and finding a social sphere I haven't tried yet.
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PuertoRican United States. Dec 02 2024 06:07. Posts 13143
My brother has got me playing World of Warcraft: 20th Anniversary Classic Edition. I don't know if it's a good idea. I'm trying to level up in life not this stupid WoW character.
On November 21 2024 01:23 RiKD wrote:
Time to find a new woman PuertoRican.
I already found a new woman.
Have you had any luck finding a significant other?
This is bullshit. Do you even read my blog? I can barely pay for health insurance and medications let alone a date.
you could date lefty women who don't care if you are a loser. actually the bigger loser artist you are, the more they seem to dig you. not having your own place is the problem. then again you could move the her place and not pay anything, just larp as a financially struggling misunderstood genius. you'd also have to start drinking again.
I don't want to reflect. I don't want to think. I just finished American Psycho by Bret Eaton Ellis. What an outrageous book. What a brilliant book.
you could date lefty women who don't care if you are a loser. actually the bigger loser artist you are, the more they seem to dig you. not having your own place is the problem. then again you could move the her place and not pay anything, just larp as a financially struggling misunderstood genius. you'd also have to start drinking again.
There is some truth to this. I use to hang around leftist circles until I became terrfied of driving over bridges and on the highway. I made it to Food Not Bombs most weeks. Not quite enough meetups to truly feel a part of but I did get invited to some events. The problem is most of the women were quiet young and your post is an exaggeration. Your post is a charicature. It is very true of some of the women but easily less than 1 out of 5 or 1 out of 10. I obviously wouldn't start drinking again just to land a date. I am not even sure there would be a charming moment in my drinking today.
Anyways, I think that I sort of outgrew most lefty circles. I tried that social sphere. I am not a Marxist. I am not a Leninist. I am not an Anarcho-Communist, I am not a Democratic Socialist of America (DSA), etc. There were a lot of cool people there though. I would still go if driving there was more effortless versus impossible.
This is why I brought up goth season because it is a social sphere I've never tried. It's a moot point because I don't care to get into the music or paint my face or thrift goth clothing pieces.
This is the problem. I am just me by myself. I have no social sphere. I get high lifting weights and then come home and try and figure out what to do. World of Warcraft has actually helped with this problem but in the long run it will hurt me. There are some hours that feel like it's cool to unwind and play WoW but really every hour I play WoW I could be doing something better most likely or my life has gotten to a point that it doesn't matter. Meaning there is nothing in my life at the moment so I have to have SOMETHING.
I can go on walks with the dog. I can read. I can lift weights which has been a God send. Everything else seems like a potential distraction. A distraction from what?
I still have my obsession with Rick Owens. I have already watched all the fashion shows though. Not like I could afford any of his clothing pieces ever. Not that I wouldn't feel like a chump if I spent $400 on a viscose / silk cut off t-shirt, $2,000 on a cashmere sweater, $6,000 on platform boots. I have to admit the man has taste though.
I left the house tonight. Dinner at a good Thai restaurant in town. Waitress was lovely. I have a crush on her. I thought she may have been interested somewhat as I was dressed very well and she played with her hair a lot. On further observation I think she just played with her hair a lot. She was relatively young as well. Everyone is seeming relatively young these days. The young receptionist at the gym calls me "sir" all of the time. Anyway, this is a problem of not leaving the house enough. Little infatuations with all types of women. It leads to frustration. Porn is just not good enough. My whole life is frustration. The gym is my only sanctuary. It releases the frustration and anxiety. I am really down low. Down low in it. Sometimes it seems like there is no way out. Bankruptcy perhaps. If I could get an income it wouldn't be too terribly terrible but I can only drive so far at the moment. I am doing my best to get over this thing with exposure therapy but I keep running into anxiety attacks. No one seems to take what I am going through seriously. Not even my psychiatrist or therapist. Hopefully, the neurologist will offer up something, anything.
I am finding these David Foster Wallace short stories somewhat unsatisfying. It may just be difficult to read anything after American Psycho by Bret Eaton Ellis. I may try to read Eaton Ellis short stories next. Hopefully, there is not too much torture and murder in those. I have not really been into watching movies recently. I have been somewhat steadily playing World of Warcraft (WoW). I don't think it is such a bad thing to throw on when there is some time to kill. Society tells me WoW is a waste of life, an escape, no one cares about your WoW level, embarrassing, inefficient use of attention. Capitalism is always weighing on me. Telling me to be an entreprenuer, faster, better, stronger, achievement, success. It's enough to drive someone mad. Should I care about authenticity or is that a capitalist trap? Everything is a capitalist trap except maybe nature but these days you need the right outfit to go into nature. Stores like REI exist solely for that reason.
Oh well. I'll get a night of sleep in and hit the gym real heavy tomorrow and everything will be ok for a short period of time until it's not ok.
God, I feel so good after going to the gym. Trimmed my beard and my mustache too. I've been getting a lot of compliments that I look great albeit so many things looming on the horizon.
My freshman year of highschool I took flag football / basketball for gym with the Marine gym teacher. I was a late bloomer and this was a year or two before I would hit puberty. I am unsure if I could even get a set in with the bar. A lot of the class were senior football players who had been lifting for 4 years. I didn't like this experience. Luckily, my day would come. Well, I am well past those days now. Over 40 lifter. It can be done. I am inspired every day by people in my very own gym who are getting after it at 40+. It's not rocket science. Progressive overload + eating enough. That's about it. Do a program that will motivate you to keep going and minimize the chance of injury. Sometimes it feels bad man like when I can't even do 1 dip when I used to dip with 2 45s dangling from a chain belt but I am eating enough and the weights and reps keep moving up. I still get the mind benefits. In fact, mind benefits are probably heightened for a beginner although I could be wrong.
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United States. Dec 01 2024 02:16. Posts 9043
