Pushit Out - Page 8

I don't even know how many words I wrote tonight. I didn't put in a morning sesh because I had shit to do. I was a little worried when I first started out but I felt like I did some writing tonight. A lot of really good dialogue to progress the characters and the plot. I didn't set out to make the story a romance but that is what happened and I am embracing it instead of trying to fight it.

I read some Nabokov and some David Foster Wallace today. Those guys are good. I don't want to write like them though I want to write like me. Well, if I could write like Nabokov or DFW I could make a living as a writer but maybe I have some stories to tell of my own. Also, I've already set the tone and style of my story. I have to write it. I have to finish it.

What type of movies are you into?

I can probably recommend something you might like.

Paris, Texas
The Big Lebowski
Un Homme Qui Dort (The Man Who Sleeps)

First 3 that come to mind.

In the last week I wrote over 18,000 words. Tonight I only managed 500 words in an hour. I like to write for 2 or 3 hours undistracted as that is the zone to be in. Tonight, I felt numb. I was just in a bit of a moody mood. I think the writing was actually quite good what I did write. 2 hours a day, every day, is not unreasonable. It's not like it's even possible to search for jobs all day long. I'm just sitting here listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs before I eventually decide to get some sleep. I feel like a failure I only wrote for 1 hour today. This novel has given me meaning. I don't want it to completlely peter out.

I still have Python lectures and exercises to complete. I was passionate about that but I don't know how passionate I am about that now. Just have to be consistent there too which I haven't been in the last 2 weeks. I just go from one thing to the next. Who knows what it will be next?

I am about 84% through The Dark Forest. That has been an anchor. It's intersting to compare sci-fi to something like Infinite Jest or Ada, or Ardor. Brandon Sanderson says classical literary fiction is about boring charachters with boring problems compared to sci-fi. He may be right but the quality of writing in a Nabokov or a DFW... I mean those guys are just doing it well. Liu Cixin is doing it well. That's what really matters.

There is also the matter of my sister fostering a crack baby. My parents are all upset.

Rat Park

Rats kept in captivity with access to cocaine will 100% overdose on cocaine. Rats put in a fun Rat Park with access to cocaine will try the cocaine but will not overdose on cocaine. My Rat Park is Paris and other places with friends. Coming back from vacation I realize I am a rat in captivity. It's a good thing I don't have access to cocaine.

Oh baby, just when I was thinking I couldn't tear myself away from Infinite Jest I finished the last 16% of The Dark Forest. Holy shit!

And, I have another book to read!

I am reading Death's End, I am reading Infinite Jest, I am reading Ada, or Ardor. I am in heaven.

I am still going in life. My book is at 21,500 words. Some pretty serious scenes written tonight. I just have to keep going. 1 scene at a time. I am a discovery writer so that's really what it's all about. I can always revise later. It will need heavy revising most likely. Apart from writing I am reading. It felt like most of today was either writing or reading. I wonder when I will get sick of it?

I have a guide of 34,000 words will be about the end of Act II. It feels so far away. I shouldn't look at it like that.

I just feel a bit burnt out after writing for 3 hours straight. Now, it's about recovery and doing interesting stuff to fuel the writing. I am not a professional writer though so it really shouldn't matter. The flow state to write a good scene though is intoxicating.

At the end of the day I'm still lost. Grasping at what brings me flow. Writing and reading and whatever else there is.

On October 14 2024 14:17 RiKD wrote: Paris, Texas The Big Lebowski Un Homme Qui Dort (The Man Who Sleeps) First 3 that come to mind.

How about these?

Seen them all.

Some good ones though.

Gaspar Noe
Stanley Kubrick
Wim Wenders
Akira Kurosawa
David Lynch
Ingmar Bergman
Paul Thomas Anderson
Bong Joon-ho
Studio Ghibli

Cleo from 5 to 7
Blue is the Warmest Color
Amelie
Anything Marion Cotillard is in

I've kind of petered out on the writing for tonight. The thing is the music vibe I'm on is out of this world and I don't want to leave my computer. I need some time to figure out where the fuck this book is going. Wish I could go on another walk but it's 2100 hr and pitch black outside.

I could go with a movie but some combination of writing and reading Death's End does a pretty good job. Not great because I am running out of steam. Something really new or strange or fucked up or beautiful could hit the spot. Like what film does FKA Twigs like? I could also use a good cry. Something really powerful and sad. I wish I could date Kali Uchis.

I'm going out to dinner in a bit. Not really enough time to settle in to some writing. I'm still all about the movie suggestions. I have not been watching any movies at all lately.

I need 1 - 2 hours to really get settled into some writing.

There is not enough time to read a chapter in a book. Plus, I don't want to mess my hair up.

Art suggestions? Suggestions of art? That is the only thing keeping me alive.

25,000 words!

and no one gives a shit

but

I do want some movies to watch

I'll probably write a long enough blog for it to go on the 9th page. That's probably a good thing. A fresh start.

My novel has hit a rough patch. When the main character gets sober I have to write about him getting sober and that is basically turning into a recovery memoir which I don't like. So, I think I have to just do bits and pieces and get the main protagonist back together so he can do more things. It was a romance novel before this happened it can come full circle and be a romance novel afterall! (Not a recovery memoir!)

I don't actually need movie suggestions because I have Letterboxd for that if need be.

I guess I don't really have much to say.